Current Events > Would you say most dudes in general don't know how to talk to women?

(+) Yeah! (+)

bsp77 posted...

This. I knew this is what you meant by many guys not treating them as people. When I meet women, I actually treat them as potential friends first and don't worry about sex and such. And a few years ago, I was about 50/50 with having male and female friends.

However, several of these women ended up being interested in me. Some I never really dated, and some I dated short term, but I now lost touch with them, especially once I started dating my fiance. It should be noted that she was my friend for 3 years first, and I truly never expected anything. It's kinda crazy actually.

Did you never have this problem, Glob? I know men and women can be friends, as I still have a few, but things got messy for a bit.

Ive pretty much always been in a relationship, and all but two of my female friends, if they had any interest in my romantically, have always respected that. Two tried it on when I was with my last partner but I shut it down quickly.

I have had a few who have told me years later that they used to have a thing for me and wished wed both been single at the same time, but that didnt stop us being friends as no lines were crossed.

Glob posted...

I think a huge number of men dont actually see women as people and thats why they suck at talking to them.

I think that's where the implication that men and women can't have platonic relations came from

Glob posted...

Ive pretty much always been in a relationship, and all but two of my female friends, if they had any interest in my romantically, have always respected that. Two tried it on when I was with my last partner but I shut it down quickly.

I have had a few who have told me years later that they used to have a thing for me and wished wed both been single at the same time, but that didnt stop us being friends as no lines were crossed.

Ah, yeah. In 2017, 2018 and a brief moment in 2020, I was single and/or casually dating around. Those are the times that things went to hell. I actually learned that a couple of those women were mainly hanging around me in hopes of something happening. Opposite of what I had always assumed happened. And I never once have been friends with women just in hopes of something happening.

Yes, even when they think they do. They often say offputting shit when they dont even mean to be. Whether women say something about that is another thing.

Lots of men don't know how to speak to another human being in general, let alone a woman.

bsp77 posted...

Ah, yeah. In 2017, 2018 and a brief moment in 2020, I was single and/or casually dating around. Those are the times that things went to hell. I actually learned that a couple of those women were mainly hanging around me in hopes of something happening. Opposite of what I had always assumed happened. And I never once have been friends with women just in hopes of something happening.

Same. In fairness though, Ive not been on my own for a very long time at any point, so who knows if my attitude would be different if I had? Id like to think not, but cant be sure.

Glob posted...

Same. In fairness though, Ive not been on my own for a very long time at any point, so who knows if my attitude would be different if I had? Id like to think not, but cant be sure.

To be clear, there were a few where I would have been very cool with more, but I was just fine if not. So yeah, I just treated them as people and friends foremost, with maybe an extra layer of flirtation lol

Talking past tense because engaged and there are obvious boundaries with my female friends I now have.

Not sure what the point of this is now, except that talking to women only because you hope to have sex with them is not a good idea. Not only are you reducing them to sex objects, but you are potentially missing out on rewarding friendships, which paradoxically could actually lead to more sex (as long as not your primary goal). I'm talking in circles...

bsp77 posted...

To be clear, there were a few where I would have been very cool with more, but I was just fine if not. So yeah, I just treated them as people and friends foremost, with maybe an extra layer of flirtation lol

Talking past tense because engaged and there are obvious boundaries with my female friends I now have.

Not sure what the point of this is now, except that talking to women only because you hope to have sex with them is not a good idea. Not only are you reducing them to sex objects, but you are potentially missing out on rewarding friendships, which paradoxically could actually lead to more sex (as long as not your primary goal). I'm talking in circles...

I get it. Youre absolutely right.

I don't if I'd say most... I do know I definitely fall into the category of people who can't though... No social skills and zero self-worth really don't make for a good combo...

Absolutely not bud

Not treating them like people.

Being too anxious.

Too thirsty. Desperate.

Too angry if rejected.

Too obsessed with 1 person.