Current Events > Damn, having a finger shoved up your butt makes you want to shit >_>

(+) Yeah! (+)

I had to go to an ass doctor today, which required me to shove an enema up my own butt beforehand which was already weird. I had to get on my knees pants-less and turn to the left before shoving this lubricated rigid plastic tip into my butt real carefully. It felt *really* weird to penetrate that barrier and shoot a bunch of liquid inside my ass >_> I've given a BJ to a beer bottle with a condom on it during truth and dare in college, but this was on a whole 'nother level! I was not prepared for this lol

But it works well tho! I shat out a buncha logs no prob and cleared the hole for the doctor so there wouldnt be shit in the way I guess >_> I skipped over to his office and was facing him butt-first, then with zero warning, he was like "Okay, I'm gonna check inside! Incoming!!" and I could barely brace myself before that finger was right in there wiggling around to check everything. I'm glad it wasnt a prostate exam (which is apparently the finger equivalent of going balls deep in there), but I still felt kinda violated after it was over >_> Having things shoved up your butt is weird. It's a whole new world to me!

Anyway, after I got fingerblasted, I really gotta take a shit, so I'm racing thru traffic now to get back. Getting old sucks >_> Everything is clear tho

knocked the turds loose eh?

Stationary butt fingers should be standard in public restrooms to help speed up the process.

MabusIncarnate posted...

Stationary butt fingers should be standard in public restrooms to help speed up the process.

No they shouldn't. That's a great way to get people sick

you had to do it yourself? Thats lame

ironman2009 posted...

knocked the turds loose eh?

It's crazy. I already popped 2 logs before the visit and after that finger, I feel like I gotta pop more. Digital insertion is magical!

Lmao

Takuya_Lee posted...

No they shouldn't. That's a great way to get people sick

Okay thanks

Your partner slipping an unsuspecting finger up the pooper during the heat of the moment can be pretty fucking hot sometimes.

Kitt posted...

Your partner slipping an unsuspecting finger up the pooper during the heat of the moment can be pretty fucking hot sometimes.

idk man. All I learned from this experience is that I dont like anal. I see why chicks dont like it either now >_> They dont even have prostates!

I hear it feels better when you have a boner during it but iunno, dat would be weird i think

boomgetchopped3 posted...

you had to do it yourself? Thats lame

Yeah what the fuck is he getting paid to do?

At least send in a nurse to help.

divot1338 posted...

Yeah what the fuck is he getting paid to do?

At least send in a nurse to help.

I only had to enema myself beforehand at home. The doc is the one that shoved the finger in there. That's what I paid him for

I remember going to the doctor and they gave me suppositories. I was told they had to be pushed in to my second knuckle. Might as well have told me I had to throw it to the moon. Neither is fucking happening.

Anyway, how did you resist the urge to poop his finger out?

Stationary butt fingers should be standard in public restrooms to help speed up the process.

DKBananaSlamma posted...

I've given a BJ to a beer bottle with a condom on it during truth and dare in college, but this was on a whole 'nother level! I was not prepared for this lol

What was the condom for? You didnt want to get drunk or something?

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/9/9/5/AAPV5JAAEo37.jpg

Kitt posted...

Your partner slipping an unsuspecting finger up the pooper during the heat of the moment can be pretty fucking hot sometimes.

I'd rather a lady suck MY toes than have her throw a finger in there.

divot1338 posted...

What was the condom for? You didnt want to get drunk or something?

Just for extra shame during it lol. Let me tell you, sucking something off is HARD! My jaw hurt afterwards. I gained new found respect for any chick that could give a good BJ to me after that >_>

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Dont be a wimp. Enjoy my butt adventures the last 2 weeks

Man, I feel great after taking that 3rd shit. Getting fingered really cleans you out.

Morning CE needs to see my trials and tribulations

I've had a digital exam a few times... whew. Before I was diagnosed with protalgia fugax I had to get it done 3-4 times before they figured it out. Pain beyond measure. I thought I was going to pass out once.

Enderknight17 posted...

I've had a digital exam a few times... whew. Before I was diagnosed with protalgia fugax I had to get it done 3-4 times before they figured it out. Pain beyond measure. I thought I was going to pass out once.

Damn, and I only got the tip (of the finger). I can't imagine going for that. Fuck >_>

I'm fucking dying over here.

DKBananaSlamma posted...

Damn, and I only got the tip (of the finger). I can't imagine going for that. Fuck >_>

Yeah. It sucks and I eventually told the different doctors I saw I wasn't getting another one done. Thankfully I got a diagnosis but it was so much pain for weeks before getting it figured out. I liken the pain to someone sticking a long knife up your bum and twisting it. And that pain lasts for up to half an hour. And then starts back randomly a few minutes later. Lather rinse and repeat... It's gotten better since the medication but I get an "attack" at least a couple times a week.

Enderknight17 posted...

Yeah. It sucks and I eventually told the different doctors I saw I wasn't getting another one done. Thankfully I got a diagnosis but it was so much pain for weeks before getting it figured out. I liken the pain to someone sticking a long knife up your bum and twisting it. And that pain lasts for up to half an hour. And then starts back randomly a few minutes later. Lather rinse and repeat... It's gotten better since the medication but I get an "attack" at least a couple times a week.

Ahhhhh, fuck man. That sounds bad.

DKBananaSlamma posted...

I had to go to an ass doctor today, which required me to shove an enema up my own butt beforehand which was already weird. I had to get on my knees pants-less and turn to the left before shoving this lubricated rigid plastic tip into my butt real carefully. It felt *really* weird to penetrate that barrier and shoot a bunch of liquid inside my ass >_> I've given a BJ to a beer bottle with a condom on it during truth and dare in college, but this was on a whole 'nother level! I was not prepared for this lol

But it works well tho! I shat out a buncha logs no prob and cleared the hole for the doctor so there wouldnt be shit in the way I guess >_> I skipped over to his office and was facing him butt-first, then with zero warning, he was like "Okay, I'm gonna check inside! Incoming!!" and I could barely brace myself before that finger was right in there wiggling around to check everything. I'm glad it wasnt a prostate exam (which is apparently the finger equivalent of going balls deep in there), but I still felt kinda violated after it was over >_> Having things shoved up your butt is weird. It's a whole new world to me!

Anyway, after I got fingerblasted, I really gotta take a shit, so I'm racing thru traffic now to get back. Getting old sucks >_> Everything is clear tho

what for, a colonoscopy or something?

It's only a concern when you feel his hands on both shoulders

Dreepapult posted...

It's only a concern when you feel his hands on both shoulders

Or possibly one stroking your hair.

This looks like something I'd post

It's kind of counterintuitive, but the best way to put something up your butt is to pretend like you're pooping. You bear down with those muscles and it opens up the sphincters.

Which is another thing, you've got two sphincters. There's the actual butthole, but there's a second secret butthole right behind that one.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlzdN2NUaVU

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

We've had first butthole but what about second butthole?

pegusus123456 posted...

It's kind of counterintuitive, but the best way to put something up your butt is to pretend like you're pooping. You bear down with those muscles and it opens up the sphincters.

Which is another thing, you've got two sphincters. There's the actual butthole, but there's a second secret butthole right behind that one.

Damn, I didnt know about the secret butthole.

Thanks for the tips >_> I'll keep that in mind the next time I gotta enema myself for the butt doctor