Current Events > Engaged/Married folk of CE-

(+) Yeah! (+)

When did you know it was time to get engaged?
Was there a defining moment that triggered it, or was it just knowing they wanted it and didnt feel too opposed, so fuck it.
Did you do something romantic for the proposal, or just casually asked?

I just wanna do it on the anniversary I'm simple like that

Will_VIII posted...

I just wanna do it on the anniversary I'm simple like that

Was there any specific moment you knew you wanted to marry her?

It was casual. I don't get the trope of people not being sure of the "answer". If I was not certain we both wanted it, I would not have asked, but to each their own.

Long long ago when the two of us were kids, she said "one day we're going to get married."

I said "ewwww"

She cried and ran away.

Many years later I asked her to marry me, she cried, said yes and that was that.

After our first trip back in May.

I haven't proposed yet tho lol

It was Christmas after a couple of years together and my wifes like "Want to get married?" and im like "Sure"......

LordMarshal posted...

It was Christmas after a couple of years together and my wifes like "Want to get married?" and im like "Sure"......

This is exactly the way my wife and I went about it as well. The only difference is we were getting ready for work in the morning.

I dated my wife for years and I realize she was marriage material when we moved in together

Daffadilio posted...

was it just knowing they wanted it and didnt feel too opposed, so f*** it.

This is absolutely the WORST reason to get married. Unfortunately, so many people still do it smh

My wife found a ring she loved. I realised I could afford it, and gave myself two weeks to come up with a reason why not to.

lolife67 posted...

This is absolutely the WORST reason to get married. Unfortunately, so many people still do it smh

Ive heard that reasoning for kids as well. Idk, marriage is less impactful in that regard but yeah, its still lame

To answer the question, I was dating to be married, as in my intent was to find my wife. While dating my now wife, I just knew she was the one. I knew she checked off all the boxes I wanted and needed. It was incredibly natural and wasn't rushed or forced.

The most important thing, as a man, is to be intentional. You have to want to find a wife and be married. In accordance with that, you'll take the steps necessary, i.e work on your self, know what qualities you want and need in a wife, etc.

Daffadilio posted...

Ive heard that reasoning for kids as well. Idk, marriage is less impactful in that regard but yeah, its still lame

That's generally why divorce ends up happening. The dude wasn't really ready nor did they want marriage/children and just did it because they thought they should. Kind of like going to college immediately after highschool despite having no clue what you want to do. You end up dropping out, more often than not.

When you can't foresee not being with them forever. Only problem now for me is that I can't be arsed to plan the wedding.

Also, hi.

C_Pain posted...

When you can't foresee not being with them forever. Only problem now for me is that I can't be arsed to plan the wedding.

Also, hi.

hiiiiiiii!!!!! Ill do it for you! For a fee Are yall doing it in NY?

lol idk I feel like anyone I cant foresee being with forever, like I literally dont want to be with 24/7, I just dont date (or at least for long)? Idk, maybe Im just a stage five clinger.

So no cute stories about how you watched her feed a stray dog a piece of ham from her sandwich and as you watched her smile you knew she was all you wanted for the rest of your life?
(lllllloooolllll, I grew up on lifetime movies, folks)

Daffadilio posted...

hiiiiiiii!!!!! Ill do it for you! For a fee Are yall doing it in NY?

lol idk I feel like anyone I cant foresee being with forever, like I literally dont want to be with 24/7, I just dont date (or at least for long)? Idk, maybe Im just a stage five clinger.

Probably Long Island I'm thinking?

It's not really a sudden moment. It's like I am happy with this girl. I have lived with her for a few years and I can't imagine my life without her. So we're gonna get married.

The dream of marrying her was always there early on so it never felt like it was a huge shift for me or anything.

I proposed when we had a vacation to Hawaii that she won from a competition. We were together for 6 years at that point so it made sense

My wife (girlfriend at the time) had a dream once that I had proposed to her with this gaudy looking big pearl ring. So when I decided I wanted to propose, I went to a department store and bought a ring as she described in the dream. I tied it to our cat's collar along with a little love note I wrote referencing the "ring of her dreams." When she found it and read it, I told her it was her engagement ring and I wanted to marry her.

What I wasn't expecting was that she would like the ring.

I had her real ring in my pocket. I bought the other ring intentionally too big so when I put it on, I would comment on that and tell her to try this other ring on (her real one). That all went according to plan, except she thought I was playing a joke on her.

She still has the dream ring in a drawer in our dining room.

No "proposal" for us either. I was working a summer gig in New Hampshire and my (now) wife was back in Chicago. We talked on the phone all the time and at some point just decided we were going to get married

My wife and I were talking about our future together at the end of our second date. We were engaged for less than a year after that date and got married a week after college graduation. We just felt the spark immediately.

That date was decades ago. I was very lucky to stumble on the love of my life early.

Dated a girl for a couple of years and got married. 364 days later we separated for 5 years, got back together and will celebrate our 46th anniversary in November. Two kids (boy-38 and girl-31) and a 14 month old grand-daughter, life is good.

We just always discussed our future plans so there wasnt this big dramatic on one knee moment.

Daffadilio posted...

When did you know it was time to get engaged?

I asked her after two years. At the time I thought "Hey if I like being with her for 2 years, in going to like her for the rest of my life!"

I was 21 and very immature. But the actual answer is, when you feel like you are ready to make that commitment and the consequences of what will happen if you break it

Was there a defining moment that triggered it, or was it just knowing they wanted it and didnt feel too opposed, so fuck it.
Did you do something romantic for the proposal, or just casually asked?

It was just after sex, and I did the kneel before the bed she was lying in and asked.

We've been married for 8 years. We had been friends before we dated and we had talked about it for a few months before I proposed. I put all of the Christmas gifts I had gotten her in one box and mixed in was the ring in it's ring box and a note proposing. It was pretty weird and maybe kind of lame but it suited us.

Daffadilio posted...

When did you know it was time to get engaged?
Was there a defining moment that triggered it, or was it just knowing they wanted it and didnt feel too opposed, so fuck it.
Did you do something romantic for the proposal, or just casually asked?

You only need to say one thing to test if a girl is marriage material: Make me a sandwich. The way she reacts to this request tells everything you need to know about her.

I realized when my wife was around when my mom got sick with cancer. I've never felt more supported and loved by someone as she helped me through it.

For the proposal, I created an elaborate plan where I made it appear that I was cheating on her. Then I rode my proposal emotions and cried when I was pretending to gear up to explain to explain my weird behavior. It was the most romantic proposal ever probably. Also probably the best acting that's ever occurred.

I knew after my girlfriend (now wife of almost 20 years) went away to college and I came down to see her. That was the first time we slept together in a bed overnight. Something about it felt perfect and right. So the next morning I proposed.

Daffadilio posted...

So no cute stories about how you watched her feed a stray dog a piece of ham from her sandwich and as you watched her smile you knew she was all you wanted for the rest of your life?
(lllllloooolllll, I grew up on lifetime movies, folks)

Kind of close, the first time I met my wife I called her a pervert for seeing the movie 300 by herself. I had never talked to her before that and she wasn't even having the conversation with me. That's definitely a meet cute imo. I later found out from a mutual friend that I had really hurt her feelings. The friend told her to just ignore 90% of the things I say and do. That advice has led to a successful marriage.

A couple months later, I took her as one of two dates to my grandfathers funeral. I thought it'd be fun like a sitcom but I was mistaken. It was super tense.

C_Pain posted...

Probably Long Island I'm thinking?

How quaint. (hehehe jk)

Punished_Blinx posted...

I proposed when we had a vacation to Hawaii that she won from a competition. We were together for 6 years at that point so it made sense

Seems like a good time to do it! Pretty ideal.

Valjackal posted...

She still has the dream ring in a drawer in our dining room.

this is so fucking cute

LSGW_Zephyra posted...

It was just after sex, and I did the kneel before the bed she was lying in and asked.

Im dead

Daffadilio posted...

When did you know it was time to get engaged?

Ask her, she's the one who proposed. But as soon as she did I said yes, because I saw no one else who I wanted to spend time with.

Was there a defining moment that triggered it, or was it just knowing they wanted it and didnt feel too opposed, so fuck it.

4th date we were walking down the street to our restaurant and I just blurted out, "I could see myself with you for a long time." And as soon as the words left my mouth I knew they were true. I feel for her pretty quickly.

Did you do something romantic for the proposal, or just casually asked?

We were just laying in bed after sex. She asked if I wanted to get married. I told her yes, and we were wed 6 months or so later.

Relient_K posted...

We've been married for 8 years. We had been friends before we dated and we had talked about it for a few months before I proposed. I put all of the Christmas gifts I had gotten her in one box and mixed in was the ring in it's ring box and a note proposing. It was pretty weird and maybe kind of lame but it suited us.

I love it, it sounds cute, not lame. Esp if you knew it would work well with her. That sounds like a good experience <3

Jiek_Fafn posted...

I realized when my wife was around when my mom got sick with cancer. I've never felt more supported and loved by someone as she helped me through it.

^this is the kind of thing I was
looking for. Im crying

For the proposal, I created an elaborate plan where I made it appear that I was cheating on her. Then I rode my proposal emotions and cried when I was pretending to gear up to explain to explain my weird behavior. It was the most romantic proposal ever probably. Also probably the best acting that's ever occurred.

Anddddddd now Im not haha. Hope im
misinterpreting but making her freak out and distrust you sounds the opposite of romantic but Ill take your word for it

ScazarMeltex posted...

I knew after my girlfriend (now wife of almost 20 years) went away to college and I came down to see her. That was the first time we slept together in a bed overnight. Something about it felt perfect and right. So the next morning I proposed.

Awh, just that feeling of peace and all is still, thats such a homey feeling.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

IM SCREAMING AND THIS WILL HAPPEN TO YOU

No fancy ceremony or ring or anything. We had both just been assuming that we were going to be married at some point, and we knew this of each other without actually speaking about it. When my to-be mother in law brought up marriage, we were both like "yeah, of course", and then later we realized it had never actually come up before.

Jiek_Fafn posted...

Kind of close, the first time I met my wife I called her a pervert for seeing the movie 300 by herself. I had never talked to her before that and she wasn't even having the conversation with me. That's definitely a meet cute imo. I later found out from a mutual friend that I had really hurt her feelings. The friend told her to just ignore 90% of the things I say and do. That advice has led to a successful marriage.

A couple months later, I took her as one of two dates to my grandfathers funeral. I thought it'd be fun like a sitcom but I was mistaken. It was super tense.

Some of these stories Im like wow how cute, gives me hope someone will love me like that andddddd then you men go and tell me how you ruined it (temporarily) Bwhaha

Xenogears15 posted...

Ask her, she's the one who proposed. But as soon as she did I said yes, because I saw no one else who I wanted to spend time with.

4th date we were walking down the street to our restaurant and I just blurted out, "I could see myself with you for a long time." And as soon as the words left my mouth I knew they were true. I feel for her pretty quickly.

We were just laying in bed after sex. She asked if I wanted to get married. I told her yes, and we were wed 6 months or so later.

Everyone be waiting til after sex cuz that love endorphin still flowing heheh. So did you even have to give it a moments thought, or pretty immediate response?

Daffadilio posted...

Anddddddd now Im not haha. Hope im
misinterpreting but making her freak out and distrust you sounds the opposite of romantic but Ill take your word for it

Its part of my personality. So it works in our case.

My vows were similar. It was a speech about vowing to create magic for her and relaying a story about seeing a magic show with my family as a kid. That moment made me realize that the magic behind magic wasn't in the show itself. It was all of the effort that goes into the set up just to make someone happy in the future. At the end I revealed that the heartfelt story I used to illustrate this point never happened. It was all a set up. It was like inception.

But also there's more. The speech about the childhood experience is stolen from a niche tv show. I plan to reveal this by coincidentally watching that episode in front of her on our 10th anniversary to further illustrate the importance of a good set up.

It's a complicated question to answer and there are a few good replies in this topic already.

All I will add to the conversation is that it has to be more than a feeling, it has to be a conscious decision and a choice to commit. Long term relationships aren't always easy, you often have to choose to love the person rather than just feeling it impulsively. You will have to repeat that choice consistently over the years.

Daffadilio posted...

Everyone be waiting til after sex cuz that love endorphin still flowing heheh. So did you even have to give it a moments thought, or pretty immediate response?

Immediate. I was honestly thinking of proposing to her myself at that point, just hadn't found the right time or the ring. She said "fuck that" and did it on her own volition, so I just gave her a yes right back.

When we went on an attempted vacation to Nova Scotia. We had two days of cancelations, delays and layovers. We eventually gave up when stuck in Montreal, so we said "fuck it" and had a fun 3 day vacation in Montreal. We never once got upset with each other during all that stress and found a way to adapt and have fun. I know from experience that that is rare, so I knew for sure then. We were engaged two months later. Getting married next month. Plus, my daughters really like her.

I posted earlier in the thread that my wife and I got engaged fast, and had begun talking about it after our second date-although I did not actually propose until a few months later.

Our first date was a little like the Got to go see about a girl part of Good Will Hunting. We met studying abroad in London and had classes together. A bunch of friends were studying abroad with me, and we had been planning a trip to Scotland for spring break for months. We had tickets, itineraries, events planned, hotels booked since January. This was going to be our big blow out trip. I had had some great conversations and flirting with my future wife, but platonic so far. I was interested, but not doing anything about it.

My friends and I were waiting for the train to take us to Scotland, when the girl walked up to me and told me that her friends had bailed last minute on a planned trip to Paris. How would I like to go with her last minute?

I had the strongest feeling that this was going to be really important. I looked at her, looked at my group of buddies, handed them my tickets and left with her. And the rest is history.

My friends were pretty pissed at the time, but they were happily at the wedding a year later and we still talk about what happened on that train platform almost 30 years ago.

Jiek_Fafn posted...

Its part of my personality. So it works in our case.

My vows were similar. It was a speech about vowing to create magic for her and relaying a story about seeing a magic show with my family as a kid. That moment made me realize that the magic behind magic wasn't in the show itself. It was all of the effort that goes into the set up just to make someone happy in the future. At the end I revealed that the heartfelt story I used to illustrate this point never happened. It was all a set up. It was like inception.

But also there's more. The speech about the childhood experience is stolen from a niche tv show. I plan to reveal this by coincidentally watching that episode in front of her on our 10th anniversary to further illustrate the importance of a good set up.

Lordt lol glad you found someone into all that

Xenogears15 posted...

Immediate. I was honestly thinking of proposing to her myself at that point, just hadn't found the right time or the ring. She said "fuck that" and did it on her own volition, so I just gave her a yes right back.

Haha ok, since you were already kinda wanting to do it, that sounds really cute.

bsp77 posted...

When we went on an attempted vacation to Nova Scotia. We had two days of cancelations, delays and layovers. We eventually gave up when stuck in Montreal, so we said "fuck it" and had a fun 3 day vacation in Montreal. We never once got upset with each other during all that stress and found a way to adapt and have fun. I know from experience that that is rare, so I knew for sure then. We were engaged two months later. Getting married next month. Plus, my daughters really like her.

I can see how seeing how they travel and how they are under stress (and especially traveling while under stress) could help be a deciding factor. Those things are important. Im glad your girls are happy about it!

Westernwolf4 posted...

I posted earlier in the thread that my wife and I got engaged fast, and had begun talking about it after our second date-although I did not actually propose until a few months later.

Our first date was a little like the Got to go see about a girl part of Good Will Hunting. We met studying abroad in London and had classes together. A bunch of friends were studying abroad with me, and we had been planning a trip to Scotland for spring break for months. We had tickets, itineraries, events planned, hotels booked since January. This was going to be our big blow out trip. I had had some great conversations and flirting with my future wife, but platonic so far. I was interested, but not doing anything about it.

My friends and I were waiting for the train to take us to Scotland, when the girl walked up to me and told me that her friends had bailed last minute on a planned trip to Paris. How would I like to go with her last minute?

I had the strongest feeling that this was going to be really important. I looked at her, looked at my group of buddies, handed them my tickets and left with her. And the rest is history.

My friends were pretty pissed at the time, but they were happily at the wedding a year later and we still talk about what happened on that train platform almost 30 years ago.

What the FUCK this is the kind of thing I needed to hear, that is amazing and I love it so much

Felt like it 6 months in but it was all puppy love of course. Proposed after 2 years because we had barely any fights at all and still got along great. Plus we were in our late 20s by then so it was time to settle when we found each other.

C_Pain posted...

When you can't foresee not being with them forever. Only problem now for me is that I can't be arsed to plan the wedding.

Also, hi.

I can officiate, just as long as I can wear my religious garb.

We said I love you like a month after which is, admittedly, soon. But considering it's been 10 years plus marriage, sometimes sooner is fine. After a couple years, it was just kind of coming along when it seemed like it was just the right time. We had a long engagement (her dad got sick immediately after). I proposed to her during a hike by a waterfall (real original).

She said yes, got married in 2020, had the ceremony in 2021, and here we are.

Kaldrenthebold posted...

We said I love you like a month after which is, admittedly, soon.

Every woman I have said it to in that manner was in a month or less.