Poll of the Day > I think I'd be better of staying single for the rest of my life...

(+) Yeah! (+)

I think I'm a terrible partner if I got into a relationship. My inability to stand criticism combined with immature temper flares means I'm really prone to getting defensive and raising my voice. I don't want to put someone through that.

I mean you could also work on that

Biting your lip and swallowing down the urge not to talk back to someone being critical of you is stressful (at least for me it is, maybe people with more mature coping mechanisms have it easier).

Yeah you could probably just see a psychiatrist and work through that. They're pretty effective help if you get the right one

Part of a dying breed I guess. Never had much interest in talking to females that way. I'll be the upstanding gentleman holding doors open for them and Yes dear this and that but as for what to do next /shrug. I rather just cut out the middle man (dating) and just get down to marriage and hanky panky because my biological clock is ticking.

Solid_Sonic posted...

Biting your lip and swallowing down the urge not to talk back to someone being critical of you is stressful (at least for me it is, maybe people with more mature coping mechanisms have it easier).

"Work on that" means developing those more mature coping mechanisms. The issues you're describing aren't particularly uncommon. There are plenty of therapy options out there to help you resolve them, so if they're adversely affecting your life, you should probably look into that.

Just find yourself a fiery Scottish woman. She'll keep you on your toes alright.

Tbh I think I'm slowly arriving to that conclusion as well. I've never been on a date and I've pretty much faced nothing but rejection both irl and online.

I think some people are just meant to be alone and frankly I'm just part of that crowd

I long decided to stay single before I became an adult. To this day, I still don't want to have a lover or get married. I don't want someone controlling my life. Furthermore, being with someone raises the chances of conflicts, and conflicts stress me out. I also have many picky traits that no one can handle. Those traits will only make others suffer. Then I am not strong, so I won't live long. I'll soon be wiped out by natural selection.

Whatever. It's up to you.

fishy071 posted...

Then I am not strong, so I won't live long. I'll soon be wiped out by natural selection.

Uhh, what?

Solid_Sonic posted...

I think I'm a terrible partner if I got into a relationship. My inability to stand criticism combined with immature temper flares means I'm really prone to getting defensive and raising my voice. I don't want to put someone through that.

There are loads of people with that kind of personality and live happy lives. Sure, it might make it more difficult, but it's not a death sentence. People are understanding, people have tempers and feelings and others recognize that. You just need to find someone that knows it's just a temperament and not you just bring malicious.

I don't think there's any couples ever that have ever 100% matched in personality. Compromise, empathy, and understanding along with good communication will go a long way in helping a partner accept that part of who you are.

You also shouldn't try to hide it, it's who you are and you shouldn't change to suit others, as long as we're not talking about you becoming physically violent. Having a temper and being defensive isn't great, but it's also not a relationship killer either. Learning how to navigate each other's emotions and mindset is part of the dating process.

joemodda posted...

Tbh I think I'm slowly arriving to that conclusion as well. I've never been on a date and I've pretty much faced nothing but rejection both irl and online.

I think some people are just meant to be alone and frankly I'm just part of that crowd

This too for me. Tc, you might have issues that restrict your ability to date, but I don't think it's the issues you outlined. At least not entirely. Obviously you know more about yourself than I will ever know about you, and I do think some people are not fit to date, but I almost never feel that way about others. I just recognize you might feel it about yourself.

At this point you have a few options. Either continue on and try to find a person who understands you and can handle you. Or you can work on the issues to get them under control to open up more dating options. Or accept that you are who you are, don't apologize for it, and hope life works out.

I guess but I also want to give the person I decide to get close to a good experience being with me as much as I enjoy being with them and I worry my tendencies lend themselves too much to being one-sided.

Im a great a Ex-Husband. Terrible Husband. Marriage/relationships aint for everyone, dawg.

Solid_Sonic posted...

I guess but I also want to give the person I decide to get close to a good experience being with me as much as I enjoy being with them and I worry my tendencies lend themselves too much to being one-sided.

As long as the things they like about you outweigh the ones they don't, you'll be good. Sounds like criticism is one thing you struggle with, but not everyone will be critical over you or your decisions. I think you'll be fine if you find a genuinely understanding person who is a bit easy going. Then you'll just need to deal with the occasional temper flare, which they'll understand and be able to forgive.

A relationship is a lot of give and take, or so I hear anyway. Take the good with the bad, and learn how to be happy together and support the other when they're struggling. Your partner will have days that they'll need you to be understanding and forgiving too.

adjl posted...

Uhh, what?

definitely something fishy about that post.

Nade_Duck posted...

definitely something fishy about that post.

A fish?

damn I wish I were an ex-husband

AltOmega2 posted...

damn I wish I were an ex-husband

You enjoy alimony garnishment?