Current Events > Does being asked your pronouns or just pronouns in general anger you?

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Zelduh
09/04/23 6:10:20 PM
#51:


I got called "he" once (I'm male) and I spontaneously combusted
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MedeaLysistrata
09/04/23 6:10:34 PM
#52:


pronouns have nothing to do with relationships

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updated 5/22/2023
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#53
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Naysaspace
09/04/23 6:26:29 PM
#54:


If someone asks me my pronouns they are just trying to bait a response they can call intolerable. It's obvious that i am a man.
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haloiscoolisbak
09/04/23 6:30:24 PM
#55:


If someone didn't obviously know I was a he/him and had to ask, I'd possibly be a little confused/feel insecure

I guess that could lead to anger/annoyance?

This has never happened though.

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Giacomo_Hawkins
09/04/23 6:49:58 PM
#56:


I don't recall anyone asking me upfront about my pronouns so I wouldn't know. I have a goatee, so the default assumption of male is pretty obvious.

In a group context in which people have introduced themselves and their preferred pronouns I have amiably introduced myself with the preferred pronoun he/him/his though.

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asdf8562
09/04/23 6:52:01 PM
#57:


The poll options are a bit dramatic.

If someone wants to call themselves whatever it makes no difference to me. That said, I'm not looking for some kind of normality of being asked what my pronoun is every time I meet someone new.

Just use common sense that is coming from a genuine non malicious place. If you happen to guess wrong, and the person corrects you, then just apologize and correct yourself.
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AbsolutelyNoOne
09/04/23 6:55:32 PM
#58:


man I just really don't care. if it's not illegal (or a nazi) I don't care. if you care. well. good on you bud.

now obviously the "anything left of nazis is communism" crowd getting furious at pronouns, those drive me up the fucking wall. it's like one or two fucking words you can call people. it isn't that fucking hard. Obviously I am much more lenient with people who are more just confused than intimidated by this whole gender thing cause I will admit as a white (probably) cis dude I was too at first.

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Funkydog
09/04/23 6:57:47 PM
#59:


I've only just managed to stop cryvomitting since you made this topic.

Thanks.

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BloodMoon7
09/04/23 7:01:22 PM
#60:


No but admittedly I can't be bothered to remember people's pronouns unless I really have to. I mean I can barely muster the energy to get out of bed. Unless I have to deal with someone regularly, they'll be lucky if I even remember their name.

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#61
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MedeaLysistrata
09/04/23 7:02:13 PM
#62:


Converge on it can be anything

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updated 5/22/2023
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/boards/1568-100-presidents
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Bokothechoco2
09/04/23 7:31:48 PM
#63:


My pronoun is
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pikakaeru
09/04/23 8:11:31 PM
#64:


it/thingy

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Euripides
09/04/23 8:13:38 PM
#65:


I ask people their pronouns all the time

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HairyQueen
09/04/23 8:17:20 PM
#66:


My pronouns are Yes/Daddy

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bfslick50
09/04/23 8:18:18 PM
#67:


This topic is full of Id be annoyed that they didnt know and felt the need to ask, but no one should get annoyed if I made the wrong assumption as an honest mistake.

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#68
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Hayame_Zero
09/04/23 8:21:02 PM
#69:


It's never happened to me, but if it did, I would just tell them.

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LinkPizza
09/04/23 8:27:59 PM
#70:


No. But I would probably find it odd

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asdf8562
09/04/23 8:29:34 PM
#71:


bfslick50 posted...
This topic is full of Id be annoyed that they didnt know and felt the need to ask, but no one should get annoyed if I made the wrong assumption as an honest mistake.
No, it's more like, "Non malicious people aren't going out of there way to be malicious towards you. If they make an honest mistake, just tell them. Greeting random strangers with, *so before we begin talking, what's your pronoun?* is just asking for an awkward conversation and believe it or not puts people who don't want to express their pronoun in an even worse situation."

In case you aren't aware even LGBT folks aren't always want to express the pronouns too.
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bfslick50
09/04/23 9:03:08 PM
#72:


asdf8562 posted...
No, it's more like, "Non malicious people aren't going out of there way to be malicious towards you. If they make an honest mistake, just tell them. Greeting random strangers with, *so before we begin talking, what's your pronoun?* is just asking for an awkward conversation and believe it or not puts people who don't want to express their pronoun in an even worse situation."

In case you aren't aware even LGBT folks aren't always want to express the pronouns too.

Asking someone how they want to be referred to is only an awkward conversation if you make it weird. It shouldnt even be a conversation, asked, answered, move on. And the LGBT people I know dont get bent out of shape when the wrong pronoun is used but thats certainly not their preference. Generally most people feel more awkward correcting someone than they do answering a question.

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hockeybub89
09/04/23 9:17:23 PM
#73:


99% of the people freaking out about pronouns are never being asked "Before we talk, may we share each other's pronouns?"

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he/him/they/them
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bfslick50
09/04/23 9:17:51 PM
#74:


Its like if you see someone whose name you should know but forgot. Its not a big deal if youre just acquaintances. The least awkward way is to get through the conversation without them noticing. But saying, Im sorry Im blanking whats your name again is less awkward than using the wrong name. All options relatively harmless and no big deal but saying Im against asking means youd rather they be awkward than yourself, cause if you guess wrong and they dont say anything then you never have to be aware of the awkwardness and thats true for guessing the wrong name as it is for guessing the wrong pronouns. If social awkwardness is no big deal then asking is no big deal. And no you dont have to ask every person you meet, its unnecessary because its rare to use pronouns when speaking to someone directly, but dont stigmatize asking because youre self conscious on how to word the question.

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YoBlazer
09/04/23 9:21:58 PM
#75:


I can't recall if I've ever been asked but it wouldn't bother me at all.

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pikakaeru
09/04/23 9:41:20 PM
#76:


No. That's just silly.

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andel
09/04/23 9:45:28 PM
#77:


if you go into a rage if someone asks your pronouns you might be a karen. it has never happened to me irl so people that make it seem like some common dystopian loss of christian theocracy is fooling themselves and pining for a world the nation and the courts have rejected in modern america anyway

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thekosmicfool
09/04/23 11:03:43 PM
#78:


As a cis male who was misgendered many times as a kid/early teen(I'm fat with man-boobs and have long hair, so before I could grow facial hair I was routinely called "ma'am" or "miss"), I would actually kinda appreciate being asked my pronouns.

But even aside from that I don't know why people are so resistant to it.

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KI_Simpson
09/04/23 11:05:59 PM
#79:


Crimsoness posted...
I'm practically steaming just thinking about them!
THEM!?

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They/them
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Cobra1010
09/04/23 11:09:35 PM
#80:


I live in the rural parts of Britain. Things are pretty normal here. The people here stand up against discrimination but we don't go out to signal virtue about it.

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KI_Simpson
09/04/23 11:11:30 PM
#81:


Cobra1010 posted...
I live in the rural parts of Britain. Things are pretty normal here. The people here stand up against discrimination but we don't go out to signal virtue about it.
So if someone complains about (their hyper-specific interpretation of) pronouns, you stand up to them?

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They/them
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dioxxys
09/04/23 11:19:35 PM
#82:


No one will ever ask my pronouns.

Inversely, anyone who usually has preferred pronouns usually makes it a point to tell me.
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Kamil
09/04/23 11:30:45 PM
#83:


.....I thought being asked your pronouns was the most polite way to approach a situation so you don't accidentally offend someone. Goodness, the internet and the world really want to keep you on your toes. Especially if a game doesn't have enough pronoun options.

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Sufferedphoneix
09/04/23 11:34:06 PM
#84:


I might be a slight bit annoyed as I clearly do not hide I am a man but its not the end of the world and I will get over it.

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LinkPizza
09/04/23 11:44:59 PM
#85:


Sufferedphoneix posted...
I might be a slight bit annoyed as I clearly do not hide I am a man but its not the end of the world and I will get over it.

I think this is where I agree most. I dont hide Im a guy. If anyone guesses female in real life, Id first check to see if they were blind or had somewhat bad vision. If not, than Id probably think they were weird But if they asked in real life and werent blind or had somewhat bad vision, Id also think they were weird, so

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Euripides
09/04/23 11:45:01 PM
#86:


Sufferedphoneix posted...
I might be a slight bit annoyed as I clearly do not hide I am a man but its not the end of the world and I will get over it.

I just met a student who (visually) looks every bit a woman, but who goes by Jeff and uses he/him pronouns.

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Crazyman93
09/05/23 12:19:27 AM
#87:


I'm very much against pronouns.

I'm more into connouns

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Sufferedphoneix
09/05/23 12:22:34 AM
#88:


Euripides posted...
I just met a student who (visually) looks every bit a woman, but who goes by Jeff and uses he/him pronouns.

Yes we have some oddballs. No offense meant to them but we shouldn't change our normal behaviors just for such a small group. You come across someone like that they can politely correct you and you move on.

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Kamil
09/05/23 12:26:54 AM
#89:


So how annoyed are ppl now when I say "the user" unless I am 100 percent sure I can say he or she. And even then it's just easier using the name.

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#90
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Kradek
09/05/23 12:37:16 AM
#91:


No one's ever asked me and I don't have it by default on my social media, however it also would not bother me in the slightest.

hockeybub89 posted...
They first came for the adjectives and I did not speak up because I was not an adjective.

Then they came for the verbs and I did not speak up because I was not a verb.

Then they for the articles and I not up because I not an article.

Then they for pronouns and I not up because I not pronoun

Then for but there no one left to for

Lol very well done.

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haloiscoolisbak
09/05/23 4:30:49 AM
#92:


LinkPizza posted...
I think this is where I agree most. I dont hide Im a guy. If anyone guesses female in real life, Id first check to see if they were blind or had somewhat bad vision. If not, than Id probably think they were weird But if they asked in real life and werent blind or had somewhat bad vision, Id also think they were weird, so

For me it's like, does my voice or mannerisms sound/look feminine? I'd start to wonder what made them think I was possibly not he/him, assuming they're asking from a genuine place of uncertainty.

Not saying it'd ruin my week or anything but could make me feel a bit strange, people are still allowed to be insecure about their masculinity in 2023 right?

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dioxxys
09/05/23 4:51:55 AM
#93:


When my voice is weird and my mannerisms are odd I just consider myself an introverted weirdo. I never considered I wasn't he him. In fact nothing I could ever do or a change in my behavior will change that im he him.

Just be yourself don't worry about what others think about you, it just stresses you out.

If you want to change your mannerisms just watch something like improvement pill or charisma on command.
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haloiscoolisbak
09/05/23 5:14:30 AM
#94:


dioxxys posted...
When my voice is weird and my mannerisms are odd I just consider myself an introverted weirdo. I never considered I wasn't he him. In fact nothing I could ever do or a change in my behavior will change that im he him.

Just be yourself don't worry about what others think about you, it just stresses you out.

If you want to change your mannerisms just watch something like improvement pill or charisma on command.

Me too - but I've also never been assumed to be anything other than he/him. I had the nickname "monkey" in school because I'm hairy and stocky

I just think someone asking that question to me might send me spiralling into a pattern of overthinking, knowing myself like I do.

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ai123
09/05/23 5:55:49 AM
#95:


Cobra1010 posted...
I live in the rural parts of Britain. Things are pretty normal here. The people here stand up against discrimination but we don't go out to signal virtue about it.
There's some strange things go on in rural Britain.

As exposed by Alan Partridge:

https://youtu.be/GtURTBLuNtg

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Euripides
09/05/23 8:18:31 AM
#96:


Sufferedphoneix posted...
Yes we have some oddballs. No offense meant to them but we shouldn't change our normal behaviors just for such a small group. You come across someone like that they can politely correct you and you move on.

I wouldn't call them an oddball. Perhaps they are just starting their social transitioning. Maybe they felt unsafe going by he/him/Jeff in high school, and only now (they just started college) feel they can take their first steps? Maybe 6 months or a year from now they will present themselves more masc?

My department is a safe harbor for queer and trans kids. I wouldn't call a single one an "oddball"

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asdf8562
09/05/23 8:38:57 AM
#97:


bfslick50 posted...
Asking someone how they want to be referred to is only an awkward conversation if you make it weird. It shouldnt even be a conversation, asked, answered, move on. And the LGBT people I know dont get bent out of shape when the wrong pronoun is used but thats certainly not their preference for people to assume incorrectly. Generally most people feel more awkward correcting someone than they do answering a question.
I wholeheartedly disagree. Generally I'd say people don't want intrusive questions.

Especially when most definitely more times than not one who isn't being malicious can use common sense to make an honest guess and be correct. On the off chance they are wrong, correct themselves and move forward.

Not all of LGBT are out of the closet or want to be out of the closet. Not all lgbt out of the closet are trying express to the world what their pronoun is every conversation if someone isnt deliberately getting wrong and more importantly maliciously getting it wrong.

Not to mention non LGBT aren't openly enthused about the idea of having strangers greet them that way either by asking such an intrusive question.

If you wish to volunteer your pronouns that's one thing. But approaching people and asking is intrusive.

Approaching strangers with an open of, "before we chat, what's your pronouns" is not the normal conversation you are trying to make it sound.
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Sufferedphoneix
09/05/23 9:41:49 AM
#98:


Euripides posted...
I wouldn't call them an oddball. Perhaps they are just starting their social transitioning. Maybe they felt unsafe going by he/him/Jeff in high school, and only now (they just started college) feel they can take their first steps? Maybe 6 months or a year from now they will present themselves more masc?

My department is a safe harbor for queer and trans kids. I wouldn't call a single one an "oddball"

Fair point. I don't always pick the best words. But I guess I'm different. I don't see anything wrong with being odd.

As a gay person I never wanted to fight to be seen as normal. I wanted people to understand being different is ok.

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Bass
09/05/23 9:44:06 AM
#99:


No, not at all. My pronouns are pretty obvious so between that and living in a conservative area I'm never asked. I was happy to see my new supervisor said give him your pronouns if you want to, though.

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R1masher
09/05/23 9:47:17 AM
#100:


Some things dont/do bother me sometimes, relativity is relevant

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