Board 8 > Suprak's Playdate Play Date (Playing Through EVERY Playdate Game)

(+) Yeah! (+)

Ok, one quick bit of housekeeping. I'm swapping Echoic Memory and SKEW. Echoic Memory had issues, but I literally could not bring myself to play SKEW one more time even though it was a more technically sound game. Congrats Echoic Memory!

Game #27 Complete! The Botanist

Throw This Quote On The Back Of The Box: "Ever beat a game 100 times in a single day?"

Final Thoughts:
This one was really hard for me to rank. It is one of the more charming games on the Playdate but it is also one of the most insubstantial. I was as high as 8 and as low as 24. I can't think of another Playdate game where I played it for like a minute and was totally in. The art is fun and they do a lot of really clever little things with the style. That's worth something. That keeps it out of the pits.

But at the same time this game is 15 minutes long and they're asking $9 for it. That's a felony in Delaware. I thought I had finished the intro segment and I was like "wow can't wait to see what you do next, The Botanist!" And then I turned and saw The Botanist jump out my window and sprint into the forest. I know indie games tend to be short and they're made by one person and its a passion project and all that fun stuff. I'm a firm believer that a game doesn't need a minimum length. Or I was. Now I'm a firm believer that if you charge me $9 for a 15 minute story I have the right to punch you.

That's not even the biggest issue though. The story isn't good. The story barely feels like anything. This guy is on a quest for a special planet and he finds it through dumb luck after doing the wrong thing and lading on the wrong planet and then there's a pirate and then there isn't a pirate and that's it. It has the feel of a story being made up on the spot by an eight year old who isn't good at telling stories even by the standard of eight year olds. Honestly if I was even half interested in the plot here I probably would've ranked this a good chunk higher but I just wasn't. My favorite part is where the computer screen said "don't shoot!" on it. My second favorite part of the story was nothing.

I feel bad ranking this as low as I am. I also feel bad ranking this as high as I am. If your game ranked below this I'm basically telling you "I would prefer to watch a stylized commercial than play your game".

Should You Play It? Eh. I don't think it is worth $9 so probably not.

Final Score: 3. Charming for as long as it lasts but it lasts about half a Futurama episode. Snak was borderline broken but it was at least a game. I'm slotting this just about Whitewater Wipeout on account of them both being short, nothing sort of experiences but this one being a more charming short, nothing sort of experience.

Games Completed: 27/142.

Game Rankings:
27) HANA Spacetime Fantasy
26) Boogie Loops
25) Hidey Spot
24) Bub-O Collect
23) The Lushes Land
22) Nightingale
21) A Joke That's Worth 0.99 Cents
20) Whitewater Wipeout
19) The Botanist
18) Snak
17) DYG
16) Lost Your Marbles
15) Grand Tour Legends
14) Demon Quest '85
13) The Fall of Elena Temple
12) Flipper Lifter
11) Questy Chess
10) The Keyper
9) SKEW
8) Echoic Memory
7) Omaze
6) Sasquatchers
5) Castle Tintagel
4) Casual Birder
3) Zipper
2) Pick Pack Pup
1) Crankin's Time Travel Adventure

Currently Playing: Executive Golf DX

What Is It? A golf game where you golf your way through an office building.

Gameplay Overview: I mean, if you imagine how you'd design a simple golf game, you can probably figure this one out. There are four "holes" going up and then four going down. You aim your ball, select how hard you want to hit it, and let it go. There's some powerups that do different things that you can pick up, too. Basic goal is to get to the elevator doors as quickly as you can and in as few strokes as possible.

Here's The Game Page! https://play.date/games/executive-golf/

Here's Some Pictures!
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/a/a4e932fb.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/6/6ff30118.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/4/495253bb.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/d/da4448ea.png

Thoughts:
-Executive Golf DX has a sort of funky title screen music. I let it play for a couple minutes, or roughly half of the total playtime of The Botanist.
-So basically here youre golfing through an office building. There are a handful of floors, you hit your ball trying to get it to go up to the next floor so you can keep moving on.
-Theres a very slight bit of Getting Over It here where a bad hit can knock you down a floor (or two if youre super unlucky) which was fun the first time I did that accidentally.
-Im not entirely sure what the hit meter is. Obviously the first time is for power, but then after you select your power, the meter goes back which I think in golf games is usually for accuracy but I cant tell the difference after experimenting with it for a little bit. Like I hit it right after the first hit, I don't hit it at all and let the meter bottom out, I hit it right in the middle...it seems to do all the same thing. Idk.
-Some of these powerups are kinda useless. Theres one for a super bouncy ball which is more likely to send you careening off to failure than to success. At least with a normal hit I can sort of predict where my ball is going to go. Using the bouncy one is basically, "eh I don't care where this goes, I'm not really paying attention anyway."
-Ok there are four holes in the first half of the course, so Im assuming there will be four going down too. At the menu screen you could pick going up, going down, or full game.
-After you get to the top it goes HOSTILE CORPORATE TAKEOVER and you hit your ball into the office building next to you to go down. Fun little bit of flavor there.
-Going down the building was a lot easier for me because a lot of the difficulty was getting the ball to rest on the lip on the floor above without bouncing back down. I sort of fly through the back half.
After making it through the mines (which are below the building), your takeover is complete and the other office building gets shot into a volcano. OH GOD ITS YET ANOTHER GOLF RELATED MASS TRAGEDY.
-Well, thats it. Initial run time was 30 minutes but I wasnt to say 22 or so of that was going up and 8 going down. Im going to give this one a bit more time though to see if I can go back and beat that high score.
-The game tracks both swings and time, and there is a leaderboard for each which is nice.
-No online leaderboards though which is unforgivable in a game like this. Even the messy season 1 games had online leaderboards so this one not having one is a pretty big oversight.
-Seriously I'm docking points for no online leaderboards. Even DYG had online leaderboards and I should remind you the only idea that game had was that "dig your grave" abbreviated as DYG.
-I'll have more thoughts when I do my final write up, but the level design here felt messy. Like they were just plopping stuff down. One hole would have a crazy hard floor with a file cabinet blocking your path to the next floor up and then then next would have like two chairs and that would be it.

Time Played: Roughly an hour. One full game, one up, and one down.
High Score: Full Course - Strokes 176 Time 34:18.143; Going Down - Strokes 44 Time 9:14.201
Beaten? Golfed all the way to the end twice now.
Grade: Eh. I want to say 4 because I'm tired of saying 3 but this might be more of a 3. Simple golf game with some kind of sloppy design choices don't give this the replay value it was looking for.
Favorite Part So Far: Murdering my corporate enemies via volcano. You guys better hope I never become a CEO because that awakened something in me.

Game #28 Complete! Slitherlink PD

Throw This Quote On The Back Of The Box: "More Slitherlink Than You Could Ever Possibly Want!"

Final Thoughts:
This was another hard one for me to rank. It works and the game is called "slitherlink" and it is nothing but slitherlink puzzles. And the puzzles are "fine". I don't mind them. I know people in topic were like "we haven't heard of slitherlink because we're normal well adjusted people and this is a weird thing to have previous knowledge of" but if you know what picross or sudoku is, you basically know what this is too. Same sort of basic logic puzzle. There's 90 of them, which is a ton of content considering the longer ones can go for like 30 minutes on their own, so this is likely going to finish as the Playdate game I put the most play time into. How sad.

My issue with this really is that this isn't really an idea. I mean, ok. It is an idea. But it is a lazy idea. Slitherlink is already a thing. You can go google slitherlink right now and have infinity slitherlink puzzles to do, for free. Even the very bad games in the Playdate catalogue were at least ideas. They might've been bad ideas but there was an idea there. Someone had to go in and come up with the gameplay and the levels and do things. This game was "hey what if I take this other persons idea and sell it on the Playdate?" which isn't an idea, really. It sounds more like a crime.

I also feel like this was the easiest game to make for the Playdate. I dont know for sure maybe Im totally wrong here. Maybe the developer spent years crafting the most perfect slitherlink puzzles ever created. Maybe the Greek god of slitherlink puzzles, the great Slitherlinkus, would look at these puzzles and weep at their beauty. Who knows. But, and this is just me, if I was in charge of making a game like this and needed to come up with 90 puzzles, I would be sorely tempted to look online and pick ninety to copy from the literal endless supply of free slitherlink puzzles found online. Im not saying thats what happened here, but I am saying that there really isnt a material difference between that happening and whatever the actual design process was.

Theres just a sort of ceiling for me with this kind of game. You know what the perfect way to play this game is? It is 11:30 at night, you turn on the lamp on the side table next to your bed, and you play this game for twenty minutes. Then you go to sleep. Also, you're 104 years old and this is the only activity your body can handle without your heart exploding. This is less a game and more a substitute that industrial strength horse sedative your doctor is refusing to prescribe to you any longer ever since they realized youre not a horse. I played this game roughly twenty times at night and each of those twenty times I fell asleep. Im worried now that Im done playing it that my sleep patterns are going to be affected. This is such a grandpa sort of game, and if your grandpa was a gamer this would be the kind of game hed play while falling asleep in his easy chair while muttering about the nurses stealing his Werthers candy. Have you ever been at school, anxiously looking at the clock and wondering when youre going to be able to get home and play more slitherlink? No you havent, you liar. No one has ever had that thought unless they are 87 and the school theyre at is the why are your kidneys not working right anymore? school.

So, that's this. Far from the worse game on the Playdate but possibly the most boring. This is essentially someone taking a book of crossword puzzles and jamming it into a video game console and hoping for the best. I don't hate slitherlink puzzles but it really isn't the kind of thing I'm looking for when I think "video game". If you love this sort of thing though, go nuts. There's certainly plenty of them here.

Should You Play It? I'd say no. If this sounds good to you, here: https://www.puzzle-loop.com/. Those are all free. There's like eight other sites with free ones too. Enjoy and pleasant dreams.

Final Score: 4. Totally functional slitherlink puzzles. Does that sound fun to you? If so, make a doctor's appointment because your adrenal gland seems to be dying.

Games Completed: 28/142.

Game Rankings:
28) HANA Spacetime Fantasy
27) Boogie Loops
26) Hidey Spot
25) Bub-O Collect
24) The Lushes Land
23) Nightingale
22) A Joke That's Worth 0.99 Cents
21) Whitewater Wipeout
20) The Botanist
19) Snak
18) DYG
17) Lost Your Marbles
16) Grand Tour Legends
15) Demon Quest '85
14) The Fall of Elena Temple
13) Flipper Lifter
12) Questy Chess
11) Slitherlink PD
10) The Keyper
9) SKEW
8) Echoic Memory
7) Omaze
6) Sasquatchers
5) Castle Tintagel
4) Casual Birder
3) Zipper
2) Pick Pack Pup
1) Crankin's Time Travel Adventure

The fact that 4/10 almost places it in the top 10 is wild

Yeah, it was kind of sad when I wrote up "this has to be one of the laziest, least creative games on the Playdate" and then I was ranking it and kept going "eh, no that one was broken" "eh, no that one was ten minutes" "eh, no that one was HANA". Ranking below that is a pretty damning indictment in the quality of your game because it failed to pass the very low bar of "game that kept putting me to sleep".

I still have a handful of season games left and I think I'm going to dip into those next because they tended to be higher quality than the stuff I was finding in the catalogue. And if things get really bad I'll open my "break in case of emergency" game of Gun Trails which seems to be universally loved.

It is hard because the only place I can find any Playdate news at all is the discord, and that is largely a bunch of cheerleading from people that have positive things to say about every game. I actually looked for Executive Golf DX to see what other people thought and found this long discussion between someone and a couple developers (from other games, I think?) where the guy wound up deleting his criticism because he said it was too awkward to post commentary on a forum where all the developers also were at. It is kind of weird because these games are played by a group of 50k at absolute most and more likely probably a couple thousand, so the developers are pretty active there and actually read if people have negative things to say. So I think most people hold back legitimate criticism and the result is I no longer can tell what is considered "good" by the community and what isn't.

Game #29 Complete! Executive Golf DX

Throw This Quote On The Back Of The Box: "I didn't totally hate this and I always hate golf games!"

Final Thoughts:
This one grew on me the more I played it. I was negative on it after my first run, but honestly it might be one of the better golf games I've played. I HATE golf games. I don't know why. I remember my friend telling me he liked Mario Golf back in the day and it changed my opinion on him. He actually went to jail a couple of years back for driving on a suspended license. I'm not saying this is definitive proof of anything, but he was the only one of my friends to like Mario Golf and he's been the only one of my friends to have jail time. You know what, I am saying this is definitive proof of something and everyone who likes golf games is a hooligan.

What kind of works for me here is how silly and simple this whole thing is. I know Hot Shots Golf has this huge following, but I tried playing it one time and as soon as I had to putt on a 42 degree incline with a northeastern wind coming in from the Golf Coast, and then missed because I forgot to account for moon to be in its waxing gibbous phase, I was out. Here you don't have that. Whack the ball and maybe it'll go where you want it to and maybe it won't, who knows.

This really feels like golf-ish. It's golf mixed with billiards is the closest comparison I can think of. You need to do normal golfing stuff, but there's also a lot where you're accounting for angles and bouncing it off of a filing cabinet on the floor above so it'll careen up and over a lamp on a desk. I'm still not entirely convinced this sort of vertical golfing is worth the extra frustration and there were a couple of times where I'd bounce off some lighting fixtures, careen back over two obstacles and down a floor where I had to stop and seriously consider if my Playdate wouldn't look better if I smashed it with a hammer. It isn't quite "Bennet Foddy" level trolling, but it does get close to being rage game adjacent at times (intentionally so, if you listen to the developer talk about it).

Still, not a terrible game. Not even a bad one! I wish there was more of it. You get one four hole course going up and one four hole course going down and that's it. I mentioned the design was sloppy on my first playthrough, but I found out later on that's because it is procedurally generated. I get why the developer here thought that might be a good idea (especially with only eight holes), but to me it would've been better if they spent the time actually designing courses rather than relying on procedural generation. Especially because the whole point of this game is to time chase/score chase. My best time was like 50% skill, 50% because I got a couple of floors where the only obstacle was a chair. Sometimes I'd start a run, look at the layout of that first hole and think "nah" and just restart.

So better than I thought it would be and if you love silly golf games, maybe bump this one up a couple of points. Just be aware there is very little of it and the courses are procedurally designed. If you're fine with those two things this is probably a pretty decent game.

Also, since this is a Season 1 game we get a full interview with the developer if you're interested in listening about a game you'll probably never play! It's here: https://play.date/games/executive-golf/

Some fun tidbits:

• The reason it is in an executive building is because the guy wanted to do a vertical golfing game and then sort of thought about possible settings after the fact.
• The "DX" title is because when he pitched the game to the guy behind the Playdate, he essentially told him "hey Executive Golf Pro (the original name) is fine but I'm buying all these weird Japanese products online that have a DX thrown on the end for no reason and it'd be funny if you did the same." And the developer was basically like "haha sure you're writing the checks".
• The frustration here is intentional. He brings up Bennett Foddy directly which is fun because that is exactly who I was thinking of when I played this. This is the most Foddian Playdate game, imo, and that includes the game that Bennett Foddy actually made.
• I didn't bring it up in my write up, but a lot of the power-ups here are kind of dumb and that too was something intentional. The bounce all around and mess up your shot ball was basically included because he thought it was funny. The worst ball, the moon ball, is something he says "yeah I don't know what I was thinking there I wish I could change that some".

Should You Play It? Sure. It is free with Season 1, actually, so you have no reason not too! I hate golf games and I didn't hate this one so that's something. This really does reaffirm my thoughts that the Season 1 games as a whole were very well curated while the catalogue games are are wasteland of scum and villainy because I should hate this game and I don't.

Final Score: 5. The universe heard Johnbobb's complaints that a 4 was so close to cracking the top 10 and answered by giving him a 5 instead. This might be higher for some people depending on preferences. Too short for me and I feel like making this procedurally generated was a mistake. But it is kind of fun and kind of interesting, even with that (and the occasional control jankiness).

Games Completed: 29/142

Game Rankings:
29) HANA Spacetime Fantasy
28) Boogie Loops
27) Hidey Spot
26) Bub-O Collect
25) The Lushes Land
24) Nightingale
23) A Joke That's Worth 0.99 Cents
22) Whitewater Wipeout
21) The Botanist
20) Snak
19) DYG
18) Lost Your Marbles
17) Grand Tour Legends
16) Demon Quest '85
15) The Fall of Elena Temple
14) Flipper Lifter
13) Questy Chess
12) Slitherlink PD
11) Executive Golf DX
10) The Keyper
9) SKEW
8) Echoic Memory
7) Omaze
6) Sasquatchers
5) Castle Tintagel
4) Casual Birder
3) Zipper
2) Pick Pack Pup
1) Crankin's Time Travel Adventure

Suprak_the_Stud posted...

I feel like making this procedurally generated was a mistake.

This is basically how I feel anytime a game is procedurally generated; it is almost always going to be worse than real level design. It's one of my biggest issues with rougelikes

Yeah, 100% agree. I don't know if it is a hot take or not, but I always agree that taking the time to actually make a level is better than having an "infinite" amount of clunky ones.

Like I said, particularly here it is weird. I'm going for a top time or a top score each time I play, and half it is my skill getting better and figuring out the nuances of the controls and half of it is getting a couple of near empty floors.

That being said the game I'm currently playing has made me look back on Executive Golf DX more fondly and I'm bumping it up a couple of spots. I'm slotting it above SKEW and Echoic Memory now. I found myself thinking I should go back and play Executive Golf DX, which is not a thought I had with SKEW because of the weird point scoring system in that game.

Game Rankings:
29) HANA Spacetime Fantasy
28) Boogie Loops
27) Hidey Spot
26) Bub-O Collect
25) The Lushes Land
24) Nightingale
23) A Joke That's Worth 0.99 Cents
22) Whitewater Wipeout
21) The Botanist
20) Snak
19) DYG
18) Lost Your Marbles
17) Grand Tour Legends
16) Demon Quest '85
15) The Fall of Elena Temple
14) Flipper Lifter
13) Questy Chess
12) Slitherlink PD
11) The Keyper
10) SKEW
9) Echoic Memory
8) Executive Golf DX
7) Omaze
6) Sasquatchers
5) Castle Tintagel
4) Casual Birder
3) Zipper
2) Pick Pack Pup
1) Crankin's Time Travel Adventure

Game #30 Complete! Recommendation Dog!!

Throw This Quote On The Back Of The Box: "Ruff"

Final Thoughts:
The game so forgettable I forgot to rank it! I went back to read something and I realized I never actually did a final write up and ranking for this. Do you know how hard it was to force myself to go back and play this another couple of times? I felt like August Suprak was punishing me for something.

Speaking of that jerk August Suprak, he had no idea what he was talking about. This isn't a 5. This isn't in the same neighborhood as a 5. This has to take two separate busses to get to 5's neighborhood. It is one of the most boring games on the Playdate. It is endless rolodex scrolling. It is all the fun of trying to cross reference excel spreadsheets as fast as you can. This isn't a game - this is what the fifth layer of hell is for a librarian who did bad things in the 1950s. I must've been blinded by the crank, and honestly using the crank to mimic an authentic rolodex experience is still kinda fun for a couple of minutes, which proves the crank can quite literally make anything fun.

I said Executive Golf DX was a game I liked the more I played it. This was the opposite. This peaked in the first five minutes for being a quirky little silly Papers, Please-lite game, and then it spent the next couple of hours loudly snoring on my sofa. I was replaying this in the endless mode just to get a quick sense for it again, and it took me all day. I kept taking breaks between the batches of requests because I just didn't want to keep playing. I'm taking a break, right now. I'm mid-run as we speak and don't want to stop writing because once I do I'm going to feel obligated to finish the run.

Beyond being boring, it is kind of weirdly designed. I have no idea how points work, and I get the sense the game doesn't care. There's a leaderboard, but it is local only which as I've mentioned is unforgivable even on the Playdate. But even the local leaderboard is messed up. You can't see it except after each run, so if you just want to check you basically have to play the game another time and that's one thing I absolutely didn't want to do.

And then the points seem given you at random. "I need an expensive gardener" and you find a gardener with a 10 in expense and BOOM extra bonus money. But a lot of the time that might be the only option you have so it is less rewarding my skill and more the fact it was all the game gave me. Sometimes it will ask for that expensive gardener and then the only gardener you can pick will have a cost of 7 and the game will give you a handful of points and shake its head in disappointment. This isn't my fault! It was the only thing I could even do, game.

So you have rolodex based point chasing game, where the points are made up and the leaderboards don't matter. How much do you want to scroll through a rolodex right now? If the answer is less than ten, you're not going to like this.

Should You Play It? No. It is 15 minutes and free, but still no. Maybe if it ever goes on sale for "they give you a dollar"

Final Score: 3. Ah, the classic Playdate 3. How I've missed you!

Games Completed: 30/142

Game Rankings:
30) HANA Spacetime Fantasy
29) Boogie Loops
28) Hidey Spot
27) Bub-O Collect
26) The Lushes Land
25) Nightingale
24) A Joke That's Worth 0.99 Cents
23) Recommendation Dog!!
22) Whitewater Wipeout
21) The Botanist
20) Snak
19) DYG
18) Lost Your Marbles
17) Grand Tour Legends
16) Demon Quest '85
15) The Fall of Elena Temple
14) Flipper Lifter
13) Questy Chess
12) Slitherlink PD
11) The Keyper
10) SKEW
9) Echoic Memory
8) Executive Golf DX
7) Omaze
6) Sasquatchers
5) Castle Tintagel
4) Casual Birder
3) Zipper
2) Pick Pack Pup
1) Crankin's Time Travel Adventure

New game soon but really quick thing I found on Recommendation Dog!! that I thought was crazy. If you check the store page, most games here are made by like 2-3 people. Sometimes just one. THIS ONE HAD A TEAM.

• Direction by Xalavier Nelson Jr.
• Production by David Bedard & Allis Conley
• Narrative by Xalavier Nelson Jr., Isaiah Henry, Adanna Nedd and Maxine Wolff
• Art Direction by Julia Minamata & Art by Rafael Batista de Lima
• Audio by Neha Patel & Eleanor Hbert
• Engineering by Ayla Myers, Jerry Belich and Nikki Liu

The narrative had four people? FOUR? You need four people to come up with stupid pun names like Herschel Bar? There wasn't a narrative here. You had four people write not a narrative. Was this some sort of scam? "Hey I hired four people to build a shed." "But there isn't a shed?" "Yeah but I hired four people to."

I'm shocked this was more than two people. I don't know what Panic paid them for this, but it was too much.

Hey, pun names are hard!

Suprak_the_Stud posted...

Herschel Bar?

Okay, good ones are hard, so I guess the mystery of why there are four people responsible remains

I've worked on 48 hour game jams with a team of like 8. Everyone does a small amount for a small game but you still put everyone in the credits.

In all likelihood Xalavier Nelson Jr. was working on eight other games at the same time as this one.

You're probably right, but that still doesn't quite explain the four story people unless he was just asking friends for ideas because he couldn't think of enough puns.

Currently Playing: Hyper Meteor

What Is It? Asteroids without the shooting

Gameplay Overview: You have this little ship that you maneuver around using the crank. There are enemy ships and meteors flying around that are a mix of black and white. You destroy them by running into the white bits and get destroyed if you run into the black bits. You get more points if you can chain together enemies without going too long in between, so there is this sort of frantic element to things where you need to fling yourself at stuff quickly or lose your multiplier.

Here's The Game Page! https://play.date/games/hyper-meteor/

Here's Some Pictures!
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/6/6fe9e812.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/b/bccc675b.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/d/dadf0be6.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/1/126a8abe.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/a/a11472a3.png

Thoughts:
-Hyper Meteor is now the 16th of the 24 Season 1 games Ive played. Ill jump back into the catalogue after this because as I mentioned the season games are pretty noticeably higher quality than the catalogue games and I dont want to run out too quickly.
-Ok so this is like asteroids without the shooting.
-Youre a ship and you need to run into various meteors and enemies. They all have weak spots, which are the white color of object and spots that you cant damage (which are black). Ram into white spots to destroy them and get points. Run into black spots to fail and get laughed at.
-Ok first run I nab a cool 200 points. What is the high score?
-93,333. So I guess you could say I sucked.
-Also hooray for online leaderboards! See other games? Was this so hard?
-Second run goes better and I figure you need to chain attacks together by smashing into stuff in quick succession. Also I get better at the crank and get up to 700 points which is good for 2075th place.
-Thats actually a shocking number of people that got over 700 points considering the total ownership of the console is at like 60k. But still, in your face other 58k people who are worse at Hyper Meteor than me!
-I forgot to mention the controls. You move around the ship via the crank, which works really well. B boosts you forward and A fires off a bomb which kills everything on screen. Those are very limited and you only get one at certain point bench marks, so you have to be careful when you use them.
-Aw yeah now over 2k points. Good for 425th place. IM COMING FOR YOU EDGRRR
-Not really I dont think Ill ever be able to get 93k. 10th place is only 24860, which seems like a more achievable goal.
-Also the sound on this is great. Good little backing track, sound effects, and I even like the voice over that tells you when you go up a level.
-A season game that is well put together and not a failed senior thesis project! Who wouldve guessed?
-Again, point chasers like this just arent my jam. So take everything Im saying and add like 50% more excitement to it. It seems pretty decent so far but Im not positive how long itll keep my interest.
-I like the enemy design in this game - each one feels different and adds something new. You have normal meteors (boring), big meteors that split into those little meteors (less boring), and then interesting stuff like these little triangles that sort of track you and have their weak spot on their backside, and a circle with a smaller rotating circle around it that is its only weak point. I like it when you get up to like level eight and there's crazy stuff everywhere.
-Ok so I finally got a really good run. My goal was to get in the top 100 and reach level 10 (which is the final level that just keeps going on) and I accomplish both with a nice score just a smidge under 9k. Puts me at 72.
-I've probably played for like close to four hours now without getting bored, which is crazy for me. It isn't my favorite but that is more to do with personal preferences than the game's quality here. This is a solid idea and a good execution of it.
-OH! I should mention this is the one title that's made its way off the Playdate, to my knowledge. You can find it on the Switch and the Switch version is apparently better, from what I've heard. It isn't the most complex game but it is a fun enough point chaser and if you are a fan of that you should probably check this one out!
-I'll give it another hour or so to see if I can top that high score and then call it quits. I might actually come back to this one later though which puts this one in rare company on the Playdate.

Time Played: Like four hours, with a lot of restarts if I wasn't happy with the amount of points I got on my first life.
High Score: 8753. Good for 72nd place! Not anywhere close to the top 10 though which seems like its impossible now. That 8.7k run was a really solid run on my part. It has been so easy to get into the top ten in other games because I feel like most people aren't trying. It says something this is the first "point chaser" I've played where I feel like a lot of people have been playing for a good amount of time.
Beaten? Close enough.
Grade: This is like a high 6 low 7. If you like point chasers it could go as high as 8 probably
Favorite Part So Far: I was playing and my kid was like "wow that music's really good". First game to impress the alpha generation on this console.

Suprak_the_Stud posted...

You're probably right, but that still doesn't quite explain the four story people unless he was just asking friends for ideas because he couldn't think of enough puns.

Yeah what I meant to say was, if 1 of your friends gave you 1 line to put in the game, you put them in the credits

Also play your kid the VVVVVV soundtrack

Game #31 Complete! Hyper Meteor

Throw This Quote On The Back Of The Box: "You'll never want to play Asteroids again!"

Final Thoughts:
This one was definitely better than I expected going in. I know there are some people who love these, but I just can't get into arcade style point chasers for too long. I'm surprised this game hooked me as long as it did, honestly. Four hours doesn't seem like much but usually I play these sorts of games for like thirty minutes before getting bored. I still think in terms of pure point chasers, Flipper Lifter is the best idea of the Playdate games I've played so far but this one has the benefit of 1) having an online leaderboard and 2) not being broken.

It is actually kind of crazy to me I'm 31 games in now and its taken me this long to get to a point chaser that has a leaderboard, isn't broken, and is at least mildly fun. This is just base level competence, and I'm happy with it. This is a totally competent point chaser! I was beginning to think I wouldn't be able to find one. I like the way the ship controls, I think pivoting from shooting to just pure flying is clever, and I like the sort of frantic energy you get when you're trying to top your old scores. The way stuff chains is clever here, because you really need to stay on top of what you're destroying when to make sure that timer doesn't run out and your chain resets to zero. Rather than playing things safe, it forces you to keep moving and it adds this extra level of strategy which is nice. You actually don't want to go around and destroy everything as fast as you can. Leave some of the weak stuff floating around in case you really need a kill quickly.

But, again, there is a ceiling for me for point chasers and this one hit it roughly four hours in. You have this fun period when you're getting used to the controls, then figuring out the nuances, then getting better, then better, then you finally hit the goal you were going for and there's this profound sense of "wait do I really want to give this another run?" Like, it was good enough to get me interested but not good enough to keep me interested, and I definitely reached a point where I was like "eh, that's enough". You do all this work climbing the mountain, getting pretty high up, and then you get kicked back down to the base of things are you're just sort of looking up like "hey maybe one mountain climb is enough".

I get it is part and parcel to games like this, but it was really hard to motivate myself through that early game once I was able to consistently make level 10 (which is the final level of difficulty you get to). I have to do this again? I know I'm just whining about how games like this work at this point, and that's fine. I'm sure there are plenty of people that would see that complaint and think that's dumb. Certain people can sink hours upon hours of their lives into stuff like Pac-Man or Galaga, but it just isn't my style of game. Feel free to boost this up an extra couple of spots if you like this sort of thing because I do think it is fairly well put together all things considered. I just did not have any motivation to keep playing after a certain point. I like the simplicity here in terms of being able to immediately jump in and play, but I also feel like it could've used a bit more. A bit more "what" I'm not entirely sure, but I feel like a little something extra, somehow, would've kept my interest and elevated this from "pretty good" to legitimately "great".

That being said I don't regret playing this. I probably wouldn't have played it at all, honestly, if it wasn't entirely free and if it was just a catalogue game it would've been one of the last ones I played (if I stick to this project, that is) just because I know by looking at it that it isn't the kind of game I usually go for. But the controls are fun and it is well made and has a pretty solid core idea here. I've played a lot worse, and this is one of the games I was most pleasantly surprised by so far even if I don't think it is truly great.

Should You Play It? Sure! It's free. You can actually check this one out on the Switch if you really want to as I said before. I'm not sure it is the kind of game I'd want to actually pay for but again this style is usually a miss for me. I enjoyed it though.

Final Score: Going with a 6. Firmly "pretty good" even if I got to the point I just did not want to give it another go.

Games Completed: 31/142

Game Rankings:
31) HANA Spacetime Fantasy
30) Boogie Loops
29) Hidey Spot
28) Bub-O Collect
27) The Lushes Land
26) Nightingale
25) A Joke That's Worth 0.99 Cents
24) Recommendation Dog!!
23) Whitewater Wipeout
22) The Botanist
21) Snak
20) DYG
19) Lost Your Marbles
18) Grand Tour Legends
17) Demon Quest '85
16) The Fall of Elena Temple
15) Flipper Lifter
14) Questy Chess
13) Slitherlink PD
12) The Keyper
11) SKEW
10) Echoic Memory
9) Executive Golf DX
8) Omaze
7) Sasquatchers
6) Hyper Meteor
5) Castle Tintagel
4) Casual Birder
3) Zipper
2) Pick Pack Pup
1) Crankin's Time Travel Adventure

I did eventually get a run of 9k which is good for 68th place. Take that, four people I leapfrogged. I hope you're devastated.

foolm0r0n posted...

Also play your kid the VVVVVV soundtrack

I haven't opened VVVVVV for years out of shame of never being able to get to last a full minute on the super gravitron.

I've been playing too many normal, decent games lately. Time to get weird! This is a very long write-up because the whole game is story based so my apologies. I'll do a much shorter summary soon.

Currently Playing: Trickle Greenweed: Mermaid at Law in Christmas Catastrophe

What Is It? Phoenix Wright rip-off where you're a mermaid trying to save Santa from being wrongfully accused of bombing a toy warehouse

Gameplay Overview: I promise you that description is the high point of the game. Have you played Phoenix Wright? This is that if you squint really hard. You have a visual novel part where you go around and inspect stuff and talk to people, then a courtroom segment part where you press witnesses on statements and present contradictory evidence.

Here's The Game Page! https://play.date/games/trickle-greenweed/

Here's Some Pictures!
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https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/6/68576caa.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/6/60daa113.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/0/02f9cbd6.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/4/4fb27581.png

Thoughts:
-Alright Im just going to grab this because this is the best title on the Playdate and there isnt a close second. Trickle Greenweed: Mermaid at Law in Christmas Catastrophe, YOURE NEXT
-I can tell from the screenshots and the title card that this is a budget ripoff of Phoenix Wright, but honestly Im kind of down? Especially if it is even halfway decent.
-It opens with a literal OBJECTION flash. Is it easier or harder to sue if the thing youre ripping off is lawyer based, I wonder.
-I can already do chapter select from the menu screen, which seems crazy. Theres only three so Im guessing this is basically like a short Phoenix Wright case.
-Uh theres no way to go back? I clicked on the trial portion just to verify I could and now Im stuck. HELP ME.
-Time to start, for real now.
-Theres a building that just says toys and then it explodes. Im pretty sure this is also what happened to my local Toysrus a couple of years back, too.
-???: Ha ha ha! Its done! Its done! Aw please dont show me who did it right away those are always my least favorite Phoenix Wright cases.
-???: Now Christmas is ruined, forever! This year the Grinch decided he had to take drastic measures to stop Whoville.
-Trickle: My name is Trickle Greenweed, and I have just graduated law from Atlantis U, meaning Im finally a fully fledged mermaid attorney, just in time for Christmas! I am a little confused why mermaid was the option they went with a Christmas themed Phoenix Wright ripoff. Why not elf? Or reindeer? Or something non aquatic, at least.
-Trickle: Im a defense attorney. That means that I go to court and use my knowledge of the law to help protect people. Hold on let me go check a Phoenix Wright walkthrough because Im not 100% positive that dialogue isnt lifted entirely from one of the games.
-Trickle: When someone is being accused of a crime they didnt commit, Ill be there to back them up! And if theyre being accused of a crime they did commit, Ill also be there if they paid my standard retainer fee!
-I now have to move the dpad around to inspect Trickles office and the cursor moves SO SLOW. I miss touchscreen interface already.
-Trickle: This is my official attorneys shell! It is only given to fully qualified attorneys. And also any child who finds one at the beach. Theyre also allowed to practice mermaid law at that point. Its a flaw in our system.
-Im waiting for my first client to show up, and pass out while waiting. Guess there arent a lot of underwater crimes.
-Unknown: Wow, do people really live like this? Its so depressing. Um excuse me Im not sure if you saw but I have a seashell badge so it is definitely NOT depressing.
-Unknown: OH! Oh gosh, Im so sorry! I dont know how I didnt see you there! Considering it is literally just me in a completely empty office, Im not sure either. BUT this seems catty and intentional, you jerk face elf.
-This elfs name is Sparky Blastcap. That sounds less like an elfs name, and more like the name of someone who would blow up a toy building. Number one suspect, hello. Thanks for coming here to turn yourself in.
-Oh, this guys not an elf. Hes a mer-elf. Of course. Now the whole underwater theme makes perfect sense.
-Sparky: We mer-elves all live together at the north pole. Were like one big happy family! Hey not to be rude but Im pretty sure thats also where all the normal elves live. Is it possible you are just a normal elf that likes to swim?
-I then question why the hell hes dressed the way he is. Were going to have a catty off, I guess.
-Trickle: Well, arent you a little bit, um, warm? Were in the tropics and youre wearing a polo neck jumper and a wooly hat with a bobble on it. It all made perfect sense to me until we got to the bobble. This guy must be a south pole mer-elf.
-Also we might or might not be underwater, Im not sure. Sparky please let me know if you start drowning as thatll be a pretty big clue.
-He almost passes out due to heat exhaustion. Or guilt from the arson he committed? Hm? HMMMM?
-Sparky chose me because he was just desperate for a lawyer and is agoraphobic and didnt want to go to downtown Atlantis. Sure, but again, do you not have elf lawyers that are maybe not half a hemisphere away?
-Sparky: So when I saw your tiny little office I was so relieved! It is even smaller than my workshop is! This feels like another burn but Im not sure. IM WATCHING YOU SPARKY.
-Sparky: Seanta has been accused ofMURDER! Thats a great pun and Im now like 50% certain this whole set up was because the author here thought of Seanta first and wanted to work that into a game somehow.
-Trickle: Seanta? As in the jolly old mer-man that gives toys to kids at Christmas? That Seanta? Uh trickle I believe you mean mer-toys to mer-kids at mer-Christmas. Cmon lets stay on theme here.
-Trickle: It would be kind of weird to call your kid Seanta, I guess. Anyone named Sean Ta in shambles right now.
-Also Santa being accused of murder is a pretty good hook for a Christmas Phoenix Wright rip-off, I got to say.
-Er. Sorry. Seanta. My mistake.
-The person Seanta is being accused of murdering? CHRISTMAS ITSELF!
-wait how does that work?
-Sparky here is like yeah mer-elf law doesnt make a lot of sense and a lot of it is metaphorical uh huh. This dumb war on Christmas rhetoric gets taken to extremes some places, huh?
-The warehouse that held all the toys was destroyed and thats why Christmas is considered murdered. Uh huh. Sure. But why not charge Seanta with oh I dunno an act of terrorism/bombing/arson/very real and not metaphorical crimes?

-Yes I am debating logic in a game that features a mer-elf leave me alone.
-Sparky gets himself into hysterics and faints again. Clearly out of GUILT. Im on to you Sparky McBuildingexploder or whatever your last name was again.
-Sparky: Well, the security guard saw Seanta enter the warehouse and then a few minutes later it exploded. His charred corpse looked super guilty, trust me.
-Couple of other important points: list of people allowed in is very restrictive and only Seanta was around at the time (clearly someone not on the list just snuck in, calling it now) and the security guard didnt see anyone else around at the time (they were distracted and will admit as much on the stand, also calling it).
-Trickle doesnt think Seanta would have motive to do it but Sparky volunteers one immediately (BECAUSE HE DID IT AND IS TRYING TO SHIFT SUSPICION!)
-According to Sparky, belief in Seanta is down. Kids these days have TV and Video Games to entertain them. So the real killer of Christmas wasTHIS GAME! I knew it all along. Take it away, boys.
-Sparky says people are saying that this got to Seanta. Mm hmm. Who is this people? Is peoples name Sparky Kaboom?
-Sparky: They all want such complicated toys! Have you ever tried to make a Playbox 720? Yes kids should want simpler toys! Like a smaller console. Maybe yellow. That has visuals from the early 1980s. Yes, that would be the thing that saves Christmas!
-Also Sparky you just told me kids dont believe in Seanta because they want video games instead of toys. Now video games ARE toys? Wheres my OBJECTION button?
-Sparky says Seanta is researching alternative ways to get presents made to meet demand. Were mer-elf jobs at risk due to automation?!? Is that why you blew up the toys, Sparky Toybreaker?
-Sparky: Seanta needs a defense lawyer. Mer-elves dont really have many trials or anything like that. We dont have mer-courts and instead dole out mer-vigilante justice. Its usually a mer-massacre.
-Apparently the people managed to get a fancy Atlantean prosecutor, so Seanta is screwed. Well, good thing ol Sparky here came to someone who has been on the job for exactly one day. Ill take the case!
-Sparky is a little less than enthused when he finds out this is Trickles first day. Maybe you shouldnt have made your legal decisions based on your agoraphobia, dude. I was too scared to go into the law office with a bunch of people inside of it so I went to one with no people and oh no there are consequences! Yeah duh.
-Also Sparky reveals the trial is tomorrow. So you waited until the very last day to get a lawyer and you picked one with no experience. Almost like you want Seanta to be found guilty, you no good elf!
-Sorry. Mer-elf.
-Apparently Sparky was the one to come because every other mer-elf thinks Seanta is guilty. -Imagine being such a bad boss that all your workers turn on you the second they can. Only one thinks you actually love Christmas, Seanta, and hes probably the one who did it since his name is Sparky OFirestarter.
-Sparky puts a bag over my head not because Im ugly but because he cant let outsiders find the way to the North Pole. Fair. I would immediately put out a Tik Tok if I could.
-Trickle: MFFMFMMFFFFMFMMFF!! And Trickle died asphyxiated by the bag. The end.
-Investigation Day 1! Oh so this is a multi-day affair? Interesting!
-We are on the last of the polar ice, kept safe by Seantas magic after the rest melted. See, mer-elves? You convict Seanta and global warming wins.
-Also hey Seanta maybe use more of your magic to help with the climate and we can figure out the whole toy thing on our own.
-Trickle just casually drops that she can switch from fins to legs. Did you happen to make some sort of deal with a sea-witch, Trickle? Those never work out.
-Theres someone giving a speech or something on a nearby stage, and Sparky excitedly tells me Rizzle is back!
-Rizzle did it. On account of her being the only other named character for now, but she totally did it.
-Rizzle: I have enough Rizzle brand toys that every little boy and girl can have a Rizzle-Razzle Christmas! Oh Rizzle actually totally did do it, didnt she?
-Someone in the crowd asks Rizzle to marry them. I wouldnt, man. Im about to send her to elf jail.
-Sorry. Mer-elf jail.
-Sparky: Did you hear that? Rizzle has a plan to save Christmas! Sparky you idiot. Youre lucky ol Trickle is here to save the day from this charlatan.
-So Rizzle is apparently a WORLD FAMOUS ELF with her own tv show (that Sparky has never seen) and her own line of toys (that look cheaply made). So she sabotaged Christmas to sell her knock-off dolls at a huge profit, Im guessing. CASE CLOSED.
-Sparky bemoans the fact his toymaker 5000 went missing just before the warehouse exploded. Hey Sparky, this wouldve been something great to bring to my attention IMMEDIATELY.
-Trickle: Looks like Rizzle is still giving out her toys to the crowd. She has them eating out of her hands. Sparky: Yeah, shes always had a knack for getting people to see things her way. Something about her just makes people want to do whatever she says. Trickle: (More like two somethings, Ill bet. Ugh.) I really was hoping to avoid the phrase elf tits but here we are.
-There are four locations I can inspect. The guard room is locked down since theres nothing left to guard. Im a bit curious why there was an elf guard in the first place. How bad is crime at the north pole?
-There are also the elf dormitories. Seanta is currently in a jail they made in the old laundry room. It smells like old elf socks. Sorry. Mer-elf socks.
-Theres also the blown up warehouse! This one I can actually go check out so I do.
-???: YOU CANT BE HERE WITHOUT PROPR AUTHORITISATION! NO TRESSPASSIN!Ah, the classic trope of the hillbilly mer-elf strikes again.
-So this angry guy is Lox. Hes the security guard and his face is completely covered by his beard. I look forward to destroying this guys testimony.
-Also Sparky created a thing that goes on the top of this guys hat to show his emotions since his face is always hidden by his beard. Sparky not to poo poo your invention but I feel like maybe you couldve also used the invention of a razor and accomplished the same thing. But cool emoti-hat, I guess.
-What happened? Lox: SEANTA DONE GONE WENT MAD IS WHAT HAPPENED! Alright man jeez can you answer my questions without having an aneurysm, please.
-Lox wont let us inspect the rubble without clearance. Guy. Its rubble. Im not going to turn it into super rubble.
-Lox: II let that rule slide one time and look where it landed us. Ill no let it happn again. I have no clue what accent this is supposed to be at this point, but its wild.
-Lox: I shouldve known! We shouldve know the pressure was weighin on im. I never figured hed burn it all down for the insurance money! Seanta has insurance? Are there mer-insurance agents, too?
-Trickle: Who on earth insures Seantas toy warehouse? Trickle asking the important questions.
-Sparky: Im pretty certain nobody does. Ok Lox I see a small error in your theory.
-Well Lox still wont let us in until we get authority. Who gives authority? Seanta. Lox, once again I am forced to question your logic.
-Ah well, I got to go see Seanta in jail so he can give me clearance to see the spot the guard thinks he blew up. Fine.
-Theres something kinda weird and laggy here. Like I cant quit out on one button push. For every other game, you press the top button and it closes out the game. Here it takes like six times like the game is trying its hardest to ignore you.

-Same thing about bringing up the in game menu. Playdate dont you stroke out on me.
-SEANTA! I KNOW HIM! Sort of.
-Seanta is a nightmare to look at. Something about his mouth is offputting and I hate it.
-He confirms that he did NOT blow up the warehouse, which is good, because Sparky looked like he was about to have a stroke if he said otherwise.
-Seanta: Christmas is my reason for being! I bring joy to all the little girls and boys! Except the naughty ones. They can go die for all I care. HO HO HO.
-Trickle: Crystallised kelp! Seanta knows my name?! Not a huge fan of crystalized kelp as an exclamation, I got to be honest.
-Seanta: HO HO HO! Of course! I know everybodys name. I know thats part of the lore but that seems so menacing, Seanta.
-Seanta starts crying about how early people are losing the Christmas spirit these days. PULL IT TOGETHER MAN.
-Sparky: Oh no, hes entering a despair spiral! Ive seen this before! Yeah, one time this happened and he blew up a fucking building, it was nuts!
-Sparky starts yelling things like friends and family to cheer him up, and Trickle starts shouting mashed potatoes and ham. Trickle I think you might just be hungry.
-Seanta doesnt think I can help. The world has stopped believing and now even my beloved mer-elves have lost their faith in me. Im done. Well yeah it sounds bad if you think about it that way. But have you ever thought about MASHED POTATOES?
-You can ask him about failing belief and his eyes turn EVIL while he rants about people becoming jaded and avaricious. Mm hmm. Does that make you mad enough tooh, I dunno, blow up a building?
-Seanta: Take Rizzle for example. She left for Atlantis to get rich! Ive never seen a mer-elf with such a self serving attitude in all my years! Yeah, she totally did it. Case closed, gentlemen.
-Seanta says he only went down to the warehouse to check the locks. There had been a break-in the week before, which Sparky vouches for. Apparently things ARE rough at the North Pole. Crazy hillbilly security elf was right all along.
-The thing that was stolen was the Giftmaker 5000. Stupid elven luddites.
-Oh boy. Seanta is adamant that every kid gets a present and the naughty list is something parents just made up. Ok ok, sorry I made that joke earlier, jeez.
-I tell Seanta we need authorization to get to the warehouse, and he hits us with the ol Slampus Krampus Jiggery Do. Thats what he actually says, not some nonsense I just made up (although I wish I had).
-Behind my ear appearsa shiny new quarter! That was already there but also beyond that is authorization. It is just a picture of Seanta giving a thumbs up with the words Seanta says ok! which is pretty solid as far as authorization goes, honestly.
-We find Lox sleeping on the job. I swear this whole North Pole security thing is a sham.
-Lox: Hmmughzzz..that sea monkey dun stoled ma biscuitszzz Weird I just had the same dream.
-Lox lets us look around and we find a weird toy alarm clock and thats basically it. Im sure that will be the key clue since it is our only clue.
-Some other mean mermaid shows up to tell us we have no chance and she is the prosecution. She knows my name but I dont know hers. Big Mad Men elevator meme energy.
-Her name is Nettle Bittersing. Trickle Greenweed is the superior name, thus superior attorney. Sorry, I dont make the rules. I just follow them.
-Ah. Rizzle hired her. This is super case closed at this point, guys.
-Nettle says she wont be lectured to by one such as me and storms off. You sure you dont know her, Trickle?
-FINALLY. What weve all been waiting for. THE TRIAL.
-Sparky: Miss, IIm freaking out a little bit! Probably shouldnt have taken all that mer-cocaine right before the trial, Sparky.
-Sparky cant calm down so we decide to stow him under the bench. I cant tell if this was a legitimate character decision or if the artist didnt feel like drawing him in the cutaways.
-The judge is a straight up sea cow.
-Like just a sea cow. It is a talking sea cow, but beyond that theres nothing special about it.
-Trickle: What theJudge Sea Cow isan actual sea cow? Same, Trickle. Same.
-Also Trickles hands look like someone tried to draw hands but forgot what hands were and drew gloves instead. Is this part of mermaid lore? Weird lumpy blobs where hands should be?
-Nettle also looks surprised by this sea cow revelation, which is a bit weirder since this isnt her first trial.
-Oh ok. The judge is just what the mer-elves were able to scrounge up. Im not sure this is going to be a legally binding mer-trial, but lets just go with it.
-The sea cow is also SHOCKED Seanta is the one being accused. Do sea cows get presents too? I didnt think so but maybe thats another lie perpetrated by parents.
-Judge Sea Cow: Why not accuse the tooth fairy of selling dental floss? Is the tooth fairy anti-flossing? Hey guys get in here new tooth fairy lore just dropped.
-Nettle corrects the sea cow with some airtight tooth fairy logic. Damn. Shes good.
-Lox is the first one called to the stand, naturally. The judge comments on his beard hair and Lox apologizes but never shaves it on account of his beliefs. Those beliefs? Itll just grow back anyway. Same, Lox. Same.
-Theres an OFFICIAL testimony segment where Lox says he saw Seanta and only Seanta and that there is no other way to the warehouse. Damn. Im cooked!
-Judge Sea Cow is ready to render his verdict but Trickle busts out a HOLD IT Phoenix Wright style.
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-I half expected a second HOLD IT where Phoenix Wright shows up to bust Trickle for copywrite infringement but it doesnt happen.
-Judge Sea Cow forgot to allow me to crossexamine. Ill forgive him, on account of him being a sea cow.
-I can press at any of the segments so I do my usual Phoenix Wright thing and just press at all of them because more dialogue is fun.
-I press all of them, and on one and only one I can say it feels incomplete. So I press on it since its the only thing I can do. I am a good lawyer, guys.
-So the bit that is incomplete is that Lox didnt see anyone on the path during the explosion. The missing bit here, Im assuming, is that he saw Seanta go down but not him come back up.
-Nettle pushes again for a verdict and the sea cow agrees so I have to HOLD IT again. Guys, please stop. We can only do so many "HOLD IT"s before we lose all plausible deniability and Nintendo shows up with their lawsuit gun.
-So we get more testimony now, where Lox posits Seanta must have SNEAKED his way past him. Seems legit on account of him being enormous and the only person outside.
-Judge Sea Cow: The defense will please refrain from banging on the bench! I feel like thats another line from the actual games too
-We press him on the whole sneaking past him unseen thing which, again, is the only bit I can get an option to press further on.
-now have three options to pick from for why Lox didnt actually see Seanta. As in Phoenix Wright tradition, I pick the obviously wrong funny ones first because duh Im not boring. Sadly neither are actually funny. Dang.
-The real answer is Lox was asleep, as we saw in the two minutes we interacted with him.
-Trickle: Face it Nettle! His story is as inconsistent as his accent! AHA! I knew his accent was like four different things. Waitthat doesnt prove anything.
-The crux here is that if he fell asleep, someone else couldve walked past after Seanta.
-Loxs beard falls off after I blow apart his testimony and he looks HORRIFYING. I hate it, please reattach your beard.
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-He looks like Dobby being forced to celebrate mer-Christmas.
-Sparky: Spontaneous defolicalisation. It can happen to a mer-elf in times of extreme stress. Thats why he needs to join Hair Club For Mer-Evles.
-Lox breaks down and apologizes and were about to get the trial dismissed but RIZZLE ROUGHRIDER shows up.
-Wait her last name is Roughrider? Thats a weird last name for an elf. Sorry. Mer-elf.
-So wait is Rizzle really the culprit then? Is the game ending already?
-Rizzle: When I saw this awful defense lawyer, with her simply dreadful hair, trying to let Seanta get away scot free, I just had to step in. First off, rude. Second off, WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH.
-Rizzle says she was there and saw Seanta come back just before the explosion. Wow. Bold move putting yourself at the scene of the crime.
-Rizzle was the one who gave Lox the cocoa, which always makes him fall asleep. OH MY GOD. SHE ADMIT IT!
-Rizzle says she didnt have any cocoa herself because shes careful what she drinks around men.
-You know what boys are like. Id hate to wake up and find one of them had done something awful to me while I was sleeping ERRRRR
-RIzzle: like draw on my face with a pen! Ah. Ok.
-Couple of problems with Rizzles testimony comes out. First, if she was there during the explosion, Lox wouldve seen her. Second, Sparky was the first one on the scene and he didnt see Rizzle there. Hey Rizzle, this was a bad lie and you should feel bad.
-Rizzle now changes her testimony that she went down to the warehouse to look and heard an ominoius ticking, so she jumped out of the way just before the explosion. Wow. Placing yourself even closer to the scene of the crime. Bold move, lets see how it pays off.
-I can now present evidence, and I show her the clock when she talks about the clock. Yep. Great lawyering here.
-She talks about how that clock is a toy one they built by the thousands and I TURNABOUT her and ask why then she assumed it was a bomb and jumped for cover if theyre that common.
-ANOTHER testimony revision. This time she claims she followed Seanta to the warehouse and saw him place a clock, which is why she was so concerned.
-I get stuck on this last bit. The first thing I try is showing Santa when she talks about planting the bomb since he had said his hands are too big and he cant handle electronics earlier. That did nothing. After some experimenting, you had to actually show the clock whichdoesnt really disprove anything about what she was saying. It does trigger the dialogue I want though about Santa's hands being too big for electronics, which, again, makes more sense if I presented Santa's picture.
-Yknow, having two pieces of evidence that should work and punishing you for guessing the wrong one is also Phoenix Wrights thing!
-Sparky vouches that Santa cant even work the light switch in his room. Just how big ARE Santas fingers? Santa over here with hulk hands just uselessly mashing a light switch.
-Rizzle: Shut up Sparky, you stupid little nerd! Youre just saying that to side with your new girlfriend here! First off I dont date mer-elves.
-Rizzle accidentally lets slip that she knew about the Giftmaker 5000 because she just cant stop snitching on herself.
-The ending is a little messy and essentially she was like oh no one ever really cared about me so I wanted to destroy Christmas and replace it with a holiday celebrating me and Sparky was all we all cared for you, even now! and things sort of just end happily with Rizzle going back home to her family.
-Hey not to be a downer but WHAT ABOUT THE EXPLOSION AND BOMB THING? Just going to let her go?
-There is some sort of backstory between Trickle and Nettle that comes up again, but it isnt explained. Nettle is basically just like "I KNOW YOU" and runs away. Stay tuned for that sequel, I guess!
-And they all come celebrate Christmas at Trickles office. Even Rizzle, which seems like a bad idea on account of the whole bomb thing, but whatever.
-Shes determined to chase Sparky around with the mistletoe. I feel like mer-elves need a mer-HR department, ASAP.
-Well thats it. It certainly is a thing. It is a mildly amusing concept mostly just for how blatantly it rips off Phoenix Wright. I wouldnt say I hated it but it also isnt what Id consider good. Mostly just a strange concept that doesnt really get the most out of the premise.

Time Played: Roughly 60-90 minutes. Hard to tell with all my diligent note taking, but it felt roughly the length of an intro Phoenix Wright case.
High Score: One guilty mer-elf punished. Or not punished, I guess.
Beaten? Yep
Grade: Probably another 3. It's Phoenix Wright without any of the fun gameplay and like a tenth of the charm. Imagine what a small inexperienced indie developer could do in a month making a PW clone, and you can get a good approximation of what this is.
Favorite Part So Far: Good ol' Lox sleepily muttering about someone stealing "mah biscuits" got a smile out of me, I'll admit.

I always feel whiplash because your writeups are a grade of 10 so then when i get to you scoring a game so low it shocks me!

Man, that whole game seems like it should just be an intro case.

Suprak_the_Stud posted...

Uh trickle I believe you mean mer-toys to mer-kids at mer-Christmas.

christmers

Kenri posted...

christmers

It was right in my grasp, and I let it slip away!

Lord_Bob_Bree posted...

Man, that whole game seems like it should just be an intro case.

I mean, it was. I just don't have any faith there is any other game coming at this point. Can't say I imagine Trickle Greenweed being the kind of game they keep coming back to.

Although I dug around a little and apparently the inspiration for this was a series of kids books staring a mermaid that does a different job each book. No clue if that means we'd get a case two or if the next game is going to be an accounting simulator.

TotallyNotMI posted...

I always feel whiplash because your writeups are a grade of 10 so then when i get to you scoring a game so low it shocks me!

Yeah, that's probably fair haha. It might be better if I do grades or something because a 3/10 to me is just "bad" but not necessarily egregiously so. I don't always hate every bad game that I play. I did kinda dislike this one though!

Game #32 Complete! Trickle Greenweed, Mermaid At Law

Throw This Quote On The Back Of The Box: "You'll be hearing from our lawyer! Seriously though this is a cease and desist letter please stop what you're doing."

Final Thoughts: Y'know, I've played a lot of derivative games in my time, but I'm not sure I've ever played a game where that was the entire point. Like if you called this game derivative to the creator, they'd burst out into tears and thank you for the compliment. There are inspirations and there are homages, and then there is this, which is what happens when you try and cram a game into a Xerox machine. This is the equivalent of career day at school and one kid is like "I want to be a lawyer" and then the next kid is like "I was to be Peter F. Geracci, Attorney at Law" and then the teacher is like "oh you want to be a lawyer too?" and the kid is like "no, not really - I specifically want to be Peter F. Geracci. I want to work in his office and marry his wife and have people call me Peter F. Geracci."

I would be less hard on this game if I feel like it tried, at all, to have its own identity. This feels like a fan game made by someone who loves the source material and hates creativity. You know how the Sonic fandom in the late 2000s had those sites where they'd all make their own OC Sonic characters and write fanfiction with them interacting with the actual Sonic characters? If the creator of this game was on that site, their OC would've been called "Also Sonic the Hedgehog". The judge in this game is a sea cow, but he's also just the judge from Phoenix Wright, again. Trickle is Phoenix in everything but name. The prosecutor who's name I forget because she wasn't important is Walmart brand Miles Edgeworth. They even have that childhood history which isn't even really explained or dug into and seems to have been included for the sole reason that the creator here was afraid if they did anything different from Phoenix Wright then goblins would show up and steal all their socks.

It has to be intentional. The purpose of this has to have been "let me just do Phoenix Wright, again, but with a mermaid." Seanta is this poor innocent guy who is too trusting and also very passionate and will blurt out things that make him seem potential guilty which is just Larry Butz. Rizzle is this seemingly silly busty ditz who charms the judge with her sex appeal but also gets crazy mad and says things that are way too intense and its just April May. Every single character in this game has a close direct parallel to someone in Phoenix Wright other than Lox, I think, and shockingly Lox is the only character I kind of liked because I wasn't spending his screen time contemplating copyright law.

There's the hold it and objection animations. There's the set up where this is Trickle's first case and boy is she earnest and excited and a little scared. You have the same perspective in the courtroom segments, with the same framing of the characters and the same way NOT GUILTY is delivered in the end. There are multiple lines here that I am still not convinced didn't get lifted entirely from one of the Phoenix Wright games. I don't mind a game inspired by Phoenix Wright, and in fact I was interested in playing one. But this is just Almost Exactly Phoenix Wright, Again, But Worse! I get that this is a copycat industry and you have games that spawn a whole series of pretenders, but not this close. Not just the exact same thing, again. Metroidvania games draw inspiration from the originals, but you don't have one where Smaus Aaran is fighting Father Brain on the planet Shebes.

I'm also not even sure what the hell is going on with the premise here.

"Hey, I want to make a Phoenix Wright game but with mermaids."
"Oh, so everyone's mermaids?"
"No, just a couple of the characters. Everyone else is going to be elves because it is Christmas themed."
"Oh...ok, so this is all underwater?"
"No, not even close. In fact, it is going to be at the North Pole for most of the game and I'm going to directly reference the fact they are above the ice multiple times."
"Oh... but didn't you say they'd be mermaids?"
"Yes, but that isn't going to play a role, at all. Her tail can transform into legs and she's going to walk around with all the mer-elves and Seanta."
"So the mer-elves and Seanta are underwater creatures?"
"No, that's the beauty of it all. They're in no way different than normal elves or normal Santa."
"So what makes them mer-elves?"
"That part is going to be unclear."
"Wait, is your head bleeding?"
"Oh, severely. I was kicked by a donkey right before I started brainstorming ideas for this game. Now, let me tell you my ideas for how I'm going to introduce some key plot points that I'm deliberately going to avoid resolving until the sequel that's never going to happen."

I know maybe it is dumb to criticize a game about a mermaid lawyer for logical consistency, but why the hell do we have a mermaid lawyer that has nothing to do with mermaid-ing? I can't wait for their follow up about the magical bird people of Cloudtopia and their adventure navigating the NYC subway system.

The gameplay is also bad. It works making something this simple if it is an introductory segment, but here the whole game is the introduction. It is like if you played Phoenix Wright 1-1 and the credits started rolling. It's missing the whole "turnabout" aspect that sort of defines Phoenix Wright games. Who did it? Well the person who shows up and loudly announces their motive the second you meet them. How did they do it? Well, uh, they just kind of walked over there and did it. You don't need Phoenix Wright to crack this case. Get Steve from Blue's Clues. He wouldn't even need the whole three pawprints to solve this one. Blue would place the first one and Steve would go "oh ok you know what - we can end this episode now".

Maybe I'm being too hard on a game made by one person but I just didn't enjoy this, at all. Trying to make an exact duplicate of a great thing is just a terrible idea because you're just inviting comparisons to the very good thing you aren't. You can absolutely make a fun lawyer game, but you can't just use all the same characters and same tropes and same style and same gags and have the one unique thing about it be they're mermaids but maybe not who knows. It isn't fun or clever and I just felt like I should go play Phoenix Wright, with no mermaids involved.

Should You Play It? No. Why would you? This is just a game you can play but worse in every way. "Hey I want to play Phoenix Wright but only if it's bad." Have you ever said this? Why? Were you being sarcastic? I'm afraid someone heard you and took it seriously and this is all your fault.

Final Score: 3. I honestly kind of want to go lower out of pure spite but it wasn't that bad. I can't in good conscience rank it below Recommendation Dog!! because as this at least didn't double as a sleep aid.

Games Completed: 32/151. One more checked off. 9 more added to the backlog. Progress?

Game Rankings:
32) HANA Spacetime Fantasy
31) Boogie Loops
30) Hidey Spot
29) Bub-O Collect
28) The Lushes Land
27) Nightingale
26) A Joke That's Worth 0.99 Cents
25) Recommendation Dog!!
24) Trickle Greenweed, Mermaid At Law
23) Whitewater Wipeout
22) The Botanist
21) Snak
20) DYG
19) Lost Your Marbles
18) Grand Tour Legends
17) Demon Quest '85
16) The Fall of Elena Temple
15) Flipper Lifter
14) Questy Chess
13) Slitherlink PD
12) The Keyper
11) SKEW
10) Echoic Memory
9) Executive Golf DX
8) Omaze
7) Sasquatchers
6) Hyper Meteor
5) Castle Tintagel
4) Casual Birder
3) Zipper
2) Pick Pack Pup
1) Crankin's Time Travel Adventure

Suprak_the_Stud posted...

but you don't have one where Smaus Aaran is fighting Father Brain on the planet Shebes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pcurd8F_g8A

Currently Playing: Life's Too Short

What Is It? 30 minute adventure game where you are a little spooky ghost and you need to get two vampires to stop fighting

Gameplay Overview: Have you played a short adventure game before? Like maybe on Newgrounds back in the day? One of those super simple adventure games someone made during their first attempt at game design and were just happy to get something out there? This is one of those.

Here's The Game Page! https://play.date/games/lifes-too-short/

Here's Some Pictures!
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/a/a4512171.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/a/a305500b.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/d/d5d40911.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/4/4c80ede2.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/8/8fa98419.png

Thoughts:
-So there are actually THREE Lifes Too Short games. The flagship franchise of the Playdate!
-Looking at the pictures, this looks like another very simple adventure game. Lets see if it can beat out the last very simple adventure game I played.
-A little ghost answers a mysterious call You mean an ADORABLE ghost. He is little and pretty cute for being like two pixels.
-Now you arrive at a spooky mansionto help mend a broken home Not how I thought that sentence was going to end, I got to be honest.
-A little Frankenstein's creature thing greets me at the door and asks for my help getting the two of them to stop fighting. Theyve both locked themselves in their coffins so Im guessing the two I need to bring back together are VAMPIRES. Spooky.
-Frankenstein butler tells me there is a colorful cast of characters here willing to help. ILL BE THE JUDGE OF THAT.
-Im dot e body eee dought n ny eeth! Ok gotta find teeth for the bear rug. Got it.
-Damn. There are spiders in the kitchen that the ghost is afraid of. I guess even ghosts are afraid of creepy crawlies.
-The library room has a suit of armor with five gem holes in the armor. I wonder what I can put in there?
-So many locked doors in this mansion. Hopefully this ghost has a keyring.
-The cupboard is locked too??!? These vampires are not a very trusting couple.
-Theres either a witch outside of a window or a poster of a witch thats coughing. I thought it was a poster, but Ive never met a poster with congestion issues.
-It clearly wants a cough drop but all Ive found so far is one gem on the bookshelves. Strangely that isnt fixing her cough.
-I do find one of the vampires. Hes mad his vampire wife is nagging him to clean the kitchen and feed the dog. Those are crazy simple chores, dude. Tell me where your dog is and Ill feed it.
-Also hey Im a ghost why do I need to use doorknobs? Can't I just phase through doors? These locked doors should be the least of my concerns.
-The bathroom has a bunch of stuff in it! A monster in the bathtub! Cough medicine in the medicine cabinet! Something gross in the toilet! Typical bathroom stuff, I guess.
-The monster thing wants me to catch it ten flying rodents with a net. Its hungry and luckily doesnt want to eat a ghost. Phew.
-I give the witch her cough medicine and she hands over her broom. Thanks? Would you happen to have four other gems instead?
-I broom the hell out of those jerk ass spiders. Never stood a chance. NOW WHOS SCARY?
-This kitchen is a gold mine! I find a blender, a cleaning rag, milk, and cheese. Trying to blend the milk and cheese into an ultimate weapon against the lactose intolerant doesnt work, sadly.
-The cheese catches a mouse, which I try to feed to the monster. Sorry, I know Im ruthlessly murdering a mouse here but the dude vampire is a big old baby who doesnt want to clean the kitchen. You understand, I'm sure.
-The monster doesnt want the mouse. Damn. Now what am I going to do with a mouse?
-I try to give the mouse to the bear rug. It doesnt work, but I get another line of dialogue and from this one I can figure out theres something stuck in his teeth, not that hes missing teeth. What a dummy I am.
-I find the kitchen now that I have a key. It is indeed a mess. I want to go yell at the vampire again to get off his ass and do something, but that isnt an option so I use the dishrag to clean up all theblood stains? Something gross, Im sure.
-Well I clean up the table and a door in back opens. That never happens when I clean my kitchen.
-Ah okay so back here is a dog which chases me back into the dining room right away. Yknow, as a ghost, I am kinda a baby about corporeal things.
-The knife I grab from the table lets me pry out a key from the bear rug mouth. Silly bear rug. Keys are not for eating! Not sure why I couldnt just grab this but whatever!
-OH WHAT THE HELL
-I use the mouse in the blender just to expirement and it works! I make a blood smoothie. Poor mouse
-You know, all this mouseicide couldve been avoided if the vampire just cleaned the damn kitchen himself.
-The vampire doesnt even want the mouse smoothie! He says hes vegan
-I killed a mouse for nothing. II was the real monster all along!
-I use the small key to open up the closet in one of the rooms only to findskeletons! Literal skeletons in the closet! get it? I thought it was cute.
-They do a fake BADUMTISH at their stupid skeleton jokes too. Hes my new favorite character, just above talking bear rug and asshole vampire.
-So the funny bone from the skeleton manages to distract the dog so I can go into his doghouse and collect ten bats. THIS is what I need to feed to the monster. I feel less bad than the mouse, though, since these things are definitely rabid. Im basically a hero.
-I go into the greenhouse and pick up the only tomato inside. The game calls me a monster for that. Game, we crossed that bridge one mouse smoothie ago.
-Okay, magpie distracted with the fork (duh) and gem got. I feel like at this point Im just going to give a bunch of stuff to a bunch of people and win.
-Yep, called it! Give bats to the guy, put tomato in the blender, use gems on the knight, and then give girl vampire who was behind the knight the mouse smoothie and the whiny dude vampire the tomato cocktail. And thats it!
-Cute little ending where they thank everyone. THE END
-Ill give it points for being cute, at least! It is one of these incredibly simple adventure game youd find on Newgrounds circa 2003 though that lasts roughly 30 minutes (if that!).
-Well uh now what am I going to do for the rest of the night? Read? Like a nerd? (Yes, I am going to read)

Time Played: I think 30 minutes but I'm sure it was closer to like 24 and I'm just rounding up.
High Score: Ten bats caught. One mouse smoothie-fied.
Beaten? Yes
Grade: Maybe a four? Like a low four. It is not hugely impressive but it has just enough charm and personality that I wouldn't say its straight up bad and is more meh. But it's borderline so I dunno. Gotta mull it over.
Favorite Part So Far: The skeletons in the closet! Skeleton in the closet nominated for Playdate character of the year whatever year this came out, please.

Game #33 Complete! Life's Too Short

Throw This Quote On The Back Of The Box: "Life's too short to be wasting time playing games over 28 minutes!"

Final Thoughts: This is such a weird one to rank because of how short it is. I think I mentioned this in my write up, but what this really reminded me of is one of those old Newgrounds adventure games you'd play like in 2005 that was someone's first attempt to make a game. The proper way to play this is one in a series of 28 other 10 minutes adventure games you're only playing because you don't want to do your math homework.

There is just a smidge of charm here, just this little bit of personality that made this more playable to me than some of the other nothing adventure games for the Playdate. I smiled a couple of times just because the game was kind of cute. That's something. Right? It might not be a great game but there's some personality here and that actually gets this somewhere. I wasn't annoyed while I was playing it like Lost Your Marbles, which is a more substantial adventure game but also a worse written one. Sometimes it's best to say less if you don't really know what you're doing.

I definitely didn't hate this, but I'm not sure you can hate a game this short. I don't hate people as I walk past them on the street and I don't angrily shake my fist at houses of people I'm driving past, and that's because I don't know them. It's the same here. You start the game, stretch a bit, take your shoes off, and the game shoves you out the front door and tells you that you got to get out of there before their husband gets back. Playdate is having me reconsider something I was always a firm believer of, and that is that there is no "too short" for a game. I always thought games can't be too short if they manage to pull off something in their runtime but it turns out I was wrong. Twenty four minutes is too short. You can't do anything in twenty four minutes. Think about every great adventure game you've played. Were any of them twenty four minutes?

I think it sticks out in an adventure game like this because the fun of this genre is getting this world with puzzles and not knowing what to do at first. You want to have to think for a minute. You can't do that in a game this small. Are you stuck? Well, did you check the five items you can check? No? Go check those five. One of them will do something. There's not a good puzzle here, and that's kind of because this game is too small in scope to have a good puzzle.

Still, not the worst. Not the worst! That's something, right? It was this guy's first game, so I feel bad being hard about it because hey he did something. He made something and it works and it is a little cute. That's something! He should be proud of that. The little ending segment where he's thanking people that taught him how to even do this is a fun little way to end things. It is a very good first attempt. It is, however, not a good game.

Should You Play It? Mmmmmmm...eh. You don't need to. So, I mean, good news is its $2 and I don't think it is necessarily a waste of $2. But I don't you'll miss out on anything by skipping this.

Final Score: 4. By the very skin of its teeth. It isn't as good as Demon Quest '85 mostly because that had a bit more meat to it which is weird to say. I'll slot it just above Grand Tour Legends though.

Games Completed: 33/151

Game Rankings:
33) HANA Spacetime Fantasy
32) Boogie Loops
31) Hidey Spot
30) Bub-O Collect
29) The Lushes Land
28) Nightingale
27) A Joke That's Worth 0.99 Cents
26) Recommendation Dog!!
25) Trickle Greenweed, Mermaid At Law
24) Whitewater Wipeout
23) The Botanist
22) Snak
21) DYG
20) Lost Your Marbles
19) Grand Tour Legends
18) Life's Too Short
17) Demon Quest '85
16) The Fall of Elena Temple
15) Flipper Lifter
14) Questy Chess
13) Slitherlink PD
12) The Keyper
11) SKEW
10) Echoic Memory
9) Executive Golf DX
8) Omaze
7) Sasquatchers
6) Hyper Meteor
5) Castle Tintagel
4) Casual Birder
3) Zipper
2) Pick Pack Pup
1) Crankin's Time Travel Adventure

Today Panic finally opened up shipping to my country. Should I buy one of these?

It's a good question and after playing 35 games for it, I think I can pretty definitively say "I don't know".

I think it's a pretty fun little system. The crank is fun to use and there are certain games here that feel like they would not work nearly as well without the crank. The games are, overall, pretty bad though. I'm not sure there are any "great" games for this but there are a whole hell of a lot of bad ones. You don't have big developers making games for this, for the most part. The crowd they were able to draw in is the itch.io crowd so you have to go into it knowing most of these games feel like they should've been bundled with like a hundred other games for two dollars. There is no backlight, which is crazy, and the screen size is pretty small all things considered.

So why do I like it. Honestly, mostly just "vibes". That's a dumb reason to like something but hey its why I've kept playing. I love the idea of a season concept. It was fun getting that little blue light when two more games would get installed. It's cute and sleek and the community around it is kind of fun and I like how it is showcasing all these small indie developers (even if most of them aren't doing anything all that impressive with the showcase).

It's charming and weird and hey, sometimes that's enough. You just have to go in knowing what you're going to get for the $200 price tag.

Currently Playing: PLAYTIME Weird Alarm Clocks

What Is It? 50 different clocks for your viewing pleasure

Gameplay Overview: Uh, well you don't really play this. You pick a clock, read a forty six page instruction manual on how to read the clock, and then look at the clock. You can use the crank to rotate time forward or backwards, but it just goes back to the actual time once you stop.

Here's The Game Page! https://play.date/games/playtime-weird-alarm-clocks/

Here's Some Pictures!
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/d/d43b86de.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/e/ea65d872.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/b/b47d0ee6.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/e/e2ef0a10.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/9/9aeeb84b.png

Thoughts:
-Oh no what have I done

Time Played: I want to say thirty minutes but you know what they say: time flies when you're looking at a clock and re-evalutating all your life decisions that brought you to this point.
High Score: 23:59 was the highest score I could get. After that there was some sort of glitch and the whole thing reset. Lame.
Beaten? I don't even know how I could
Grade: A big bold 1. But written out in silly font like 1:00 where the one is a snake and the zeroes are eyeballs looking all around. Just so you know how wacky I am.
Favorite Part So Far: There are a couple of clocks here that don't work and if you try to rotate through time things start lagging and the time jumps all over to seemingly random points. If my Playdate quest was a movie, this would be the low point where I sob over my Playdate after drinking half a bottle of whisky and drunk calling my PS5 to come back to me.

"Hey uh Suprak should I buy this thing"
"Hold on a second let me tell you about all these clocks I'm looking at."

Game #34 Complete! PLAYTIME Weird Alarm Clocks

Throw This Quote On The Back Of The Box: "What time is it? (indiscernible gurgling) time!"

Final Thoughts: The good news for anyone enjoying this is that I'm pot committed now. I can't back off this project after wasting $5 on PLAYTIME Weird Alarm Clocks. This is the ultimate sunk cost fallacy. "Hey I could move on to other projects but then the guy who stole $5 from me for a series of clocks wins." No fucking chance. That asshole is using my five dollars right now to buy torture implements to turn a racoon carcass into a functional clock and I'm personally responsible for that. I can't let that racoon to have died for nothing. I'm finishing this now.

The Playdate has some things that it classifies as apps, so it is worth noting this isnt really trying to be a game. So Im not docking points for that, just as a heads up. Im docking points for everything else. This is something that at least has the decency to advertise what it is exactly in its title. This is a collection of weird alarm clocks and I honestly can't imagine a more depressing collection. Imagine walking into a room and finding an alarm clock collection. You would think you just wandered into a serial killer's house.

Each clock has instructions on how to use it, which is already a bad sign. Here is a line from the description of one of these clocks: Low-state clocks are my experiment in communicating time using far fewer states while still being useful and easy to read. Easy to read. Ok, so the goal here is being useful and easy to read. Now, I am going to post paragraph four of nine of the how the hell to even read this clock instructions from one of these clocks. First off, there are nine paragraphs in the instructions of this easy to use clock. If youre trying to make an easy to use anything, and you get to your ninth paragraph explaining how to use it, just set whatever you were working on doing on fire and start over. There are calculus text books that explain how to do things in less than nine paragraphs and I cant even tell if the easy to use disclaimer up front is supposed to be a hilarious sarcastic joke or not.

The single inner light is used to tell the hour, as is the inner hand of any clock. It indicates the parity of the nearest hour mark: off for even, on for odd. Now you know the time is 10 to odd for example, or half past even. By default the nearest hour is shown. So at 10 to 9 (8:50), the hour light will be on for odd, indicating 9 the closest to where the hour hand would be on an analog clock not off (even) for 8.

Help I'm too stupid to use this clock. I started reading this and realized I was too dumb to tell time. That hasn't happened to me since the first grade. The description of how to use your clock reads like it was written by someone in the midst of a schizophrenic breakdown. This is the kind of note you usually find scrawled in blood in a horror game before someone with a clock sewn to their face emerges from the darkness.

Heres another direct line from a third clock that I did not alter in any way: Knowing the hour parity combined with the circadian oscillator in your hypothalamus is enough to tell you the exact hour. Hey, weird clock app creator, when you started writing the phrase circadian oscillator in your hypothalamus did you get this profound sense of shame as you realized that all those kids that beat you up in high school after they caught you licking a clock were right to hate you? I'm pretty sure that between all the various rambling instructions on how to read these nonsense clocks that this game has the most writing of any Playdate title.

I wish I could tell you the dumbest thing about this. Ive narrowed it down to two but I cant pick. Its Sophies Choice but both of my choices wandered off into the middle of a street and got hit by a bus before I could make my choice. One of the finalists is the fact they took a clock and made it worse. Most of the clocks here are significantly harder to read than a normal clock. There's one where you look at the body of a weird mutated animal thing and each various body part gives you information about the time. What kind of Druid bullshit is this? Imagine looking at a clock and having to consult your notes to see what a fish body means. If you ask someone what time it is and they start muttering about the number of horns on a stag head, you need to run. You're moments away from being turned into an alarm clock yourself.

The other thing is that the resting screen of a Playdate is already a clock. Thats the default option for a Playdate, and it costs zero dollars. When you put your game into rest mode, the thing it shows is a normal, easy to read clock and thats free. It's a clock. IT IS A CLOCK. Already. Youre paying five dollars for a worse version of the thing the system comes with. They made a thing the Playdate didn't need and then made it worse. A lot of these clocks can't even give you the exact time, and they're designed in such a way to tell you what time it is within a five minute window. "Hey do you want to know the time but only sort of?"

There is also an alarm functionality, but, again, why? Who needs or wants to use their Playdate as an alarm clock? Who looked at the Playdate and thought to themselves wow I want to buy this $200 console to use as my alarm clock? Every single person in the entire world has a phone, right now, in their pocket. That phone comes with an alarm clock that is louder and more effective to use than the alarm clock that comes with this $5 app. It is a thing that no one asks for and no one needs and fills a niche that doesnt exist. Clocks are on every digital device, ever, and no one has purchased an alarm clock since 2003.

I genuinely dont get the why. Im confused. Im confused. Why was this made? I thinkI think this mightve been made by a Batman villain. That sounds crazy but it makes the most sense. Like it was made by someone called The Clock Master or Dr. Ticktock or something, and they commit exclusively clock related crimes. GADZOOKS BATMAN ITS DR. TICKTOCK Ho ho ho BATMAN now that Ive flooded Gotham with these idiotic clocks, no one will ever be on time for a meeting again! HYUH HYUH HYUH!!! It feels almost like Im playing an AR game but without the AR game actually attached to it. Like Im looking at this and Im stressing out because I can't find the hidden code that will give me the coordinates of the missing children.

Theres also something borderline devious about calling this PLAYTIME. I get that the full name is PLAYTIME Weird Alarm Clocks but that PLAYTIME up front is almost evil. You cant call your weird alarm clock emporium playtime. Its like telling your kids youre bringing them to AMUSEMENT PARK and they get all excited and then you pull up and its called AMUSEMENT PARK Dentistry and Pet Eradicator. Theres nothing playtime about alarm clocks! You cant use that work to describe this. We have laws to prevent this level of consumer misinformation.

And then, to top it all off, as one final sad, hilarious insult, not all of these clocks even work right. You're supposed to be able to use the crank to scroll through time if you like the idea of a clock but would prefer it if the numbers it showed correspond to nothing. Scrolling through the time is pretty simple on most of these, but there are a couple that just dont work. A lot of these you can just scroll through minute to minute and its all fine. Its incredibly boring and incredibly pointless, but at least functional. But then you have a couple that are apparently pushing the power of the Playdate and start lagging to the point you can even scroll through them. There are multiple ones here where you can't actually scroll because of how bad the lag is, and I think the fantasy themed one was probably the worst at this. I would try to scroll and it would get stuck and then stay stuck and then start drooling, and then awake with a scream and skip 24 minutes ahead. It makes doing the one thing you can do impossible and Im almost impressed the level of sheer incompetence. This game is quite literally, a series of clocks. Thats it. Thats all there is to the game. And it still doesnt work. There is nothing here and that nothing is still broken. How do you break nothing? How? Imagine walking into an empty room and just the essence of emptiness was broken.

Someone looked at a clock and thought for a while and then muttered to themselves I can make this worse and this game was the result. This persons mother was crushed by a clock and now theyre doing everything they can to make sure nobody ever wanted to use a clock again. And it worked. I'm done with time, everyone. This game ruined it for me.

Should You Play It? If I ever tell you that you need to buy a group of fifty clocks, call the police. It's too late for me but at least maybe you'll be able to help the police recover my body.

Final Score: 1. Zero. Negative 12. I don't know how to score this but it is a compilation of clocks that don't work and are hard to read and also they try to make you tell time with a fish body. I think that might be a crime, I'm not sure.

Games Completed: 34/151

Game Rankings:
34) PLAYTIME Weird Alarm Clocks
33) HANA Spacetime Fantasy
32) Boogie Loops
31) Hidey Spot
30) Bub-O Collect
29) The Lushes Land
28) Nightingale
27) A Joke That's Worth 0.99 Cents
26) Recommendation Dog!!
25) Trickle Greenweed, Mermaid At Law
24) Whitewater Wipeout
23) The Botanist
22) Snak
21) DYG
20) Lost Your Marbles
19) Grand Tour Legends
18) Life's Too Short
17) Demon Quest '85
16) The Fall of Elena Temple
15) Flipper Lifter
14) Questy Chess
13) Slitherlink PD
12) The Keyper
11) SKEW
10) Echoic Memory
9) Executive Golf DX
8) Omaze
7) Sasquatchers
6) Hyper Meteor
5) Castle Tintagel
4) Casual Birder
3) Zipper
2) Pick Pack Pup
1) Crankin's Time Travel Adventure

Suprak_the_Stud posted...

I thinkI think this mightve been made by a Batman villain. That sounds crazy but it makes the most sense. Like it was made by someone called The Clock Master or Dr. Ticktock or something, and they commit exclusively clock related crimes.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clock_King

Not sure if I'm being whooshed here, but there is a clock-themed Batman villain because of course there is.

(Great topic by the way, one of the best in the board's history.)

Everything's coming up Boogie Loops

Is it a coincidence that the bottom two titles have a similar format?

HANA Playtime Clocks is the crossover we need but not the one we deserve

Kenri posted...

HANA Playtime Clocks is the crossover we need but not the one we deserve

Weird Alarm Spacetime Fantasy sounds like a hit though

I legitimately wonder what the sales for this is. Like total Playdate sales right now is 70k. How many people in that 70k bought the alarm clock app for $5. Is it just me? Did some alarm go off at Panic and people started running around in a literal panic because someone bought the placeholder game someone put up on the store as a joke?

I'm worried I'm on some sort of list now. Like "PLAYTIME Weird Alarm Clocks" was the most boring concept government scientists could come up with, and they're trying to lure out that rouge accounting robot that escaped from their lab. They're going to kick down my door and go "We knew you couldn't resist a collection of alarm clocks, you're just a stupid robot without an understanding of the human concept of fun." And I'd go "no no I'm a real human that bought the digital alarm clock collection willingly!" But I wouldn't finish the sentence because of how stupid it sounds and just accept my fate.

Fluttershy_Pony posted...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clock_King

Not sure if I'm being whooshed here, but there is a clock-themed Batman villain because of course there is.

(Great topic by the way, one of the best in the board's history.)

Thanks!

And of course there is an actual clock themed Batman villain. Should've googled. I like Dr. Ticktock better though tbqh.

Johnbobb posted...

Everything's coming up Boogie Loops

I'm worried Boogie Loops might finish this not in the bottom ten at this rate. There are a lot of questionable looking things in the catalogue that I've been holding off on.

Lord_Bob_Bree posted...

Is it a coincidence that the bottom two titles have a similar format?

WOW. I need to check the catalogue for a CAPS Standard Capitalization game just for scientific reasons at this point. Good catch!

Currently Playing: Star Sled

What Is It? Strangely enough, it isn't just a collection of a handful of clock types. Apparently, such magic is possible.

Gameplay Overview: So you're this little star thing and you leave this little line behind you wherever you go. You want to use this to make a circle around these other little start things. Each level has something like five to twenty of those star things, and you need to circle them all to finish the level. Things get more complicated the further you go on (you can circle multiple at once, certain enemies attack you if you accidentally circle them, you gain the ability to teleport, etc) but the basic goal is always the same.

Here's The Game Page! https://play.date/games/star-sled/

Here's Some Pictures!
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/1/1ed0519d.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/a/a6df92ff.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/0/0f6bdc51.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/6/61bcfb44.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/8/85f7e343.png

Thoughts:
-Time for Star Sled. Another Season 1 game! Which is usually a good sign so aw yeah.
-This actually has instructions which is bizarre since I got the feeling developers for this system were in agreement to never put those in their game for some reason.
-The gist is that I need to encircle each spark in a level to complete it. I can earn more points if I go back and play but I dont know what that is for other than bragging rights.
-I change difficulty to HARDER. I am no chump.
-Oh this has a story?
-Since the DAWN OF THE GALAXY sparks are the primary energy source. The dreaded Thion Empire has flooded space with sentries to gather these sparks for their battle stations. I need to capture sparks and destroy battle stations. Got it. The no good Thion Empire doesnt stand a chance!
-Ok so the intro missions are pretty easy, You just move your ship around and make a circle around the sparks to capture them. Dont crash into the sparks though, I found out the hard way.
-You get extra points for making tight circles instead of going all crazy big with things.
-The third stage adds enemies which uh are entirely stationary and dont hurt you as long as you dont crash into them. Ah yes, my dreaded enemy: corporeal objects.
-Mission B is a little harder in that it adds enemies that actually move. Truly a devious strategy: not staying perfectly still.
-You also get a boost in this mission group, which makes things a bit more interesting.
-I forgot to mention you get score based on how quickly you finish a level too, so there is incentive to speed up as much as possible.
-Well incentive. I still dont know if score does anything.
-The boss of this area is a battlestation which is again perfectly still. I just need to be careful not to run into any of the lightning gates.
-Things do pick up a bit here. I get through blocks A thorugh E without too much trouble but it definitely gets more complex than sitting enemies glare at you and beg you to crash into them.
-You have enemies that track you, and then if you close an enemy in a loop it teleports to you and kills you instantly. And you have certain levels where you can catch multiple sparks at once for bonus points, and then other levels where if you capture more than one you die. You have sparks that move and lightning gates, and eventually you can even teleport to another part of your loop if youre aiming at it. Theres stuff here.
-Lightning gates might not have been the best idea because the visual indication of oh hey these are lighting up in a second is almost imperceptible on the Playdate screen.
-Well two more mission packs left. I was going to take a break but might as well power through!
-Oh, wait. Theres more to this game! There are hidden anomalies. I didnt notice them because I wasnt sitting direction under three suns all at once, but if you look carefully in some spots you see the screen wavering. Loop around these anomalies to open up a warp hole, which takes you to a secret level.
-The game is nice enough to tell you what levels have hidden anomalies you missed, which helps because I was looking back through old levels and noticed that notification. Otherwise I wouldve had no clue they were even here.
-The second hidden level is Sparks everywhere and BOY ARE THEY RIGHT
-Theres like a dozen moving around randomly with enemies also floating around and I fail something like 57 times because Im an idiot and keep going for the meaningless extra point bonus for making a small circle.
-I will say though I do like the little bit of challenge here. I like how you have to completely restart the level if you fail and you get one life to pull it off.
-In one of the levels I missed a hidden anomaly, I literally flew right over to where it was because theres this weird branching path for no reason in a battlestation. I just couldnt see it because of the bad lighting. CURSE YOU PLAYDATE AND YOUR NO BACKLIT SCREEN!
-Haha level ???-3, the one right after the last one, is one of the easiest levels in the game and there arent even any moving enemies. Hey, difficulty curve, whered you go?
-Something that wouldve been fun here is to give some sort of point total you need to surpass to beat the level. It would make things a bit more fun if you actually had to get these bonus points or SUFFER.
-?-4 is fun again, and you have a stationary sentry in the middle of all these stationary sparks, and you need to make these big loops you teleport through while avoiding accidentally capturing the sentry in the middle.
-Ooh final upgrade is a warp smash that lets me smash and destroy sentries if Im pointed at them. TAKE THAT, STATOINARY OBJECTS THAT WERENT BOTHERING ME
-Aw man the smash doesnt work on those enemy ships that chase me. I do accidentally discover that if you loop them they get stunned temporarily. So I got that going for me.
-The penultimate stage has these SUPER FAST jerk ships and Im constantly having to juke them. -My smash attack does NOTHING. Some attack.
-Final stage has a little boss thing which is really just a stationary collection of stars I need to lasso. Nothing too crazy.
-Another game done in a single evening. At least this one wasnt too bad!
-This is another one of the Season 1 games where my overall opinion is almost good but doesnt feel like they finished it.
-Like I am a dumb person who cant make games. If Im playing your game and I go wow they really shouldve added a level like this or made more that built off of this, theres a problem. If I can think of something specific your game couldve added, it is obvious.

Time Played: I think it was in the 60 minute range. So brief, but not as brief as the really insubstantial Playdate games.
High Score: They do keep track of your score each level, but I didn't see any sort of "total" high score. I'm too lazy to add them all up so I'll just say a billion.
Beaten? All levels beaten, including the secret extra ones the game forgets to tell you about.
Grade: A solid 5. Not great. Not bad. I played it and it was fine but I'll forget about it by next week.
Favorite Part So Far: There are a couple of boss levels where you have this quick chase segment at the end where you need to make it out of these winding tunnels. I thought those were fun.

Game #35 Complete! Star Sled

Throw This Quote On The Back Of The Box: "Dangerously functional!"

Final Thoughts: Star Sled really feels like the quintessential Season 1 Playdate experience. It uses the crank fairly well and doesn't do anything egregiously wrong, but it also doesn't feel like they fully finished it. I played it like a week ago, and while I certainly didn't mind it while I was playing it, I'm looking back now with only vague memories of the experience.

It is fun. Or sort of fun. I didn't mind it is my overall review. "I didn't mind it." Is that the kind of glowing recommendation you're looking for? It uses the crank fairly well and I thought the gameplay was pretty ok. I've said this in like half of these games now, but I like using the crank. If you're putting together a basic game for the Playdate, make sure you get some crank controls in there because I'll rank it higher. You get bonus points for doing those tight loops around the stars, and that when the crank controls really shine the best. I like that sort of precision you get from the crank, and it feels natural and fun. Crank controls still good, would recommend.

But like a lot of the "mid" tier of Playdate games, this doesn't feel finished all the way. It is an hourish long, but that's not even my biggest problem with things. I mean, sure, yes I would ideally like more than an hour of gameplay but if it is really well polished then whatever. But this feels a bit like they didn't think everything through. There were a bunch of times I'd play a level and think "oh that would've been better if this part was longer or if they did this with the gates or made the mechanic like this." I shouldn't be able to think of that. I'm a dumb person. I shouldn't be able to think of specific things your game is missing on account of being a dumb person. It means it is an obvious omission, and this game has a lot of them.

Here's an example: make the points mean something. Why are they tracking points? There is no leaderboard, no ranking system, no minimum point score you need to achieve to clear a level or block. You get bonus points for beating a level quickly or for doing tight loops instead of long winding ones, but who cares? Why make things harder on yourself? The game doesn't care. "Oh high score? Uh ok cool I guess." Welcome to Star Sled, where the points don't matter and everything is made up. I feel like Drew Carey is just slinging a handful of points my way every now and then, and I don't know why I'm even taking advantage of some of the mechanics here because the game doesn't seem to care if I use them or not.

Level design is where the game struggles the most. You have a lot of levels lacking creativity here, and a lot of ones that blend into each other. The core mechanic is fine, but they didn't manage to put in levels that really show it off in the best way. There are a handful of fun ones here that I liked, but for the most part I can't remember what I played through.

So, overall, it works. I like the controls. I like the idea. I just wasn't crazy about what they did with those two things. It is functional and doesn't bother you going down. We got the unflavored oatmeal of the video game world here but hey at least it isn't alarm clocks, I guess.

Should You Play It? Sure. If you had to pay for it I'm not sure I'd recommend it, but it is in that nice safe space of "free with the purchase of the console". The controls are pretty fun and you aren't going to mind the hour you spend with it.

Final Score: 5. I don't hate it. I don't love it. It's my second cousin I see alternate Christmases. It is fun enough but not quite fun enough, if that makes sense.

Games Completed: 35/151

Game Rankings:
35) PLAYTIME Weird Alarm Clocks
34) HANA Spacetime Fantasy
33) Boogie Loops
32) Hidey Spot
31) Bub-O Collect
30) The Lushes Land
29) Nightingale
28) A Joke That's Worth 0.99 Cents
27) Recommendation Dog!!
26) Trickle Greenweed, Mermaid At Law
25) Whitewater Wipeout
24) The Botanist
23) Snak
22) DYG
21) Lost Your Marbles
20) Grand Tour Legends
19) Life's Too Short
18) Demon Quest '85
17) The Fall of Elena Temple
16) Flipper Lifter
15) Questy Chess
14) Slitherlink PD
13) The Keyper
12) SKEW
11) Star Sled
10) Echoic Memory
9) Executive Golf DX
8) Omaze
7) Sasquatchers
6) Hyper Meteor
5) Castle Tintagel
4) Casual Birder
3) Zipper
2) Pick Pack Pup
1) Crankin's Time Travel Adventure

I decided to buy one of these and it arrived today! I like it so far. I will now start using this thread to influence actual purchase decisions!

Hey that's super cool! Now there are 70,000 and 1 of us! It is definitely a fun little thing and I've gotten my money's worth at the very least. Let me know if you find anything cool I've missed!

And hey, feel free to rank along if you'd like.

Game #36 Complete! Life's 2 Short: Unhooked

Throw This Quote On The Back Of The Box: "I vaguely remember playing this, I think."

Final Thoughts: Bad news everyone! I played this one on a flight for a work trip, so you don't get a play-by-play like all the other games. Even worse news, this one is pretty unremarkable as far as indie adventure games go so I have only vague hazy memories of my time with it. I played it like a week ago now and I'm already missing chunks of some of the middle bits. The good news is it lasted the whole flight, which I never would've guessed after playing the first game.

On the positive side, this does feel like a whole game. Like, it's the length where I feel like you can sell this by itself and I'm not confused. It's not a long adventure game but there's at least a bit of meat on the bones here instead of a pile of just bones hiding a smaller pile of bones underneath it. In the first game, all the puzzles sort of solved themselves. There were like six things you could interact with in the game and item usage was automatic so if you didn't know what to do, it would take like eight seconds to try every single permutation in the game. I mentioned at the time, but it felt like something on Newgrounds someone made to make sure they could make an actual game. Sort of a test "do I understand how to make an adventure game" thing you throw together and it last for twenty minutes and its functional, so you're happy.

This one at least has puzzles. Things you need to figure out. More than six rooms. I know, imagine my surprise. You need to help out the four wives of Captain Toomanywives or whatever his name is, and each one of them has something specific you need to do, which requires several multistep puzzles to be completed along the way. I have no idea why this ghost is solving pirate relationship problems, but I guess after you solved the vampire's relationship problems last game you've started developing a reputation. Your goal becomes to help these poor women all free themselves from this toxic relationship, which is at least a better goal than forcing four women back into a toxic relationship with a two peg legged pirate.

But each one of these women have a thing you to do. One needs all the pirates to join their gym. One needs the beach cleaned up and the sea life to return. One...want's to open a cat cafe. They can't all be winners, okay? But then each pirate has some puzzle you need to solve to get them willing to show up, and sometimes getting the thing that helps the pirate has its own puzzle attached to it. Look, I know I'm just explaining "adventure games" to you guys, but the first game didn't have that! This is a game! An honest to goodness adventure game. WE DID IT EVERYONE.

...it also isn't a very good one.

The thing that comes to mind first when describing this is clunky. The interface is clunky, the puzzle design is clunky, the dialogue trees are clunky. Everything in clunky. There were multiple times where I wasn't even sure if I solved a puzzle or not. One of the characters here wants a beach cleaned and after picking up a couple of things their dialogue tree for the cleaning option was like "wow it looks great - great job!" But I wasn't done yet. I wasn't close to done. Another character shows up at one point to tell me I had gotten all the pirates to the gym, but the actual woman at the gym was still asking me to spread her fliers. So...which is it? AM I DONE OR NOT?

Here's my least favorite puzzle in the game: a pirate lost his boot and won't go to them gym until you find it for him. He tell me he lost it near the castle and lo and behold, there's a spot to fish right by the castle. Me, being well versed in hacky adventure game jokes, knew I could fish up a boot from this spot. I knew it immediately. And I tried to do it, no exaggeration, twenty times. And I kept getting fish that I would throw back. So I was like "well, maybe not?" But then I couldn't find the boot. So I came back a couple of other times. Still no boot. And then on my fourth attempt a couple of tries in, I got the boot. Doing the same thing I had done a hundred other times. There was no logic behind it, at least as far as I could tell. I didn't replace the bait with boot attracter spray or have to put super glue at the end or the rod or something. Was there some sort of story trigger? I have no clue but if there was it wasn't a logical one. And there wasn't even a reason for it because I had been able to fish for a while now and I knew instinctively that I was going to be getting a boot. Apparently I just had to try it a couple dozen times and finally the game was like "oh ok you've suffered enough" and gave it to me.

There's a lot of stuff like this here, where it has that big amateur energy to it. And the creator here is an amateur! So, fine. I get it. But it is as I said before clunky. The dialogue trees don't ever go away, so I would talk to someone and come back and still have like ten options I could talk to them about. And the dialogue in this game is very bland so I wouldn't always remember what they had to say. I kept repeating dialogues because I couldn't remember if I had the conversation or not and then the option wouldn't go away, so I was always like "...eh, maybe I forgot?" It is this sort of annoying system and something that was probably pretty easy to fix.

The biggest problem for me though is it just doesn't have the charm of the first game. There has to be at least like ten times the amount of writing here, but I still think the original game was probably better as a story. This all just felt generic and bland and I honestly was having a hard time caring about what was going on. Maybe I'm just being easier on the first game because it was so short that I wasn't really expecting these well developed character, but here there is more than enough time for them to breathe and yet I could not possibly care less about the cast of nobodies I'm forced to interact with.

So overall, it's a better game but not necessarily a "better" game. I remember that first game making me smile a couple of times and just didn't get that here. The game is longer and more substantial, but also clunky and charmless and just not really all that fun to play. We're heading in the right direction, at least, but just barely.

Should You Play It? Nah. Maybe if you're super into the indie adventure game scene, but I've played a lot of better ones than this and this is pretty forgettable overall

Final Score: 4. We get a couple of steps forward here and also a couple of steps back, and the final result is basically the same as the first game. I'd give the edge to this one ever so slightly because it feels like a full game even if it is much messier this time around.

Games Completed: 36/151

Game Rankings:
36) PLAYTIME Weird Alarm Clocks
35) HANA Spacetime Fantasy
34) Boogie Loops
33) Hidey Spot
32) Bub-O Collect
31) The Lushes Land
30) Nightingale
29) A Joke That's Worth 0.99 Cents
28) Recommendation Dog!!
27) Trickle Greenweed, Mermaid At Law
26) Whitewater Wipeout
25) The Botanist
24) Snak
23) DYG
22) Lost Your Marbles
21) Grand Tour Legends
20) Life's Too Short
19) Life's 2 Short: Unhooked
18) Demon Quest '85
17) The Fall of Elena Temple
16) Flipper Lifter
15) Questy Chess
14) Slitherlink PD
13) The Keyper
12) SKEW
11) Star Sled
10) Echoic Memory
9) Executive Golf DX
8) Omaze
7) Sasquatchers
6) Hyper Meteor
5) Castle Tintagel
4) Casual Birder
3) Zipper
2) Pick Pack Pup
1) Crankin's Time Travel Adventure

Oh, here's some pictures if you're curious what it looks like!

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/8/84552fbe.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/5/58d486f8.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/b/b21b0036.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/0/08dc4c93.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/e/ea38b533.png

I love that little pirate captain though

Just read the clocks writeup, you should definitely send that to the creator. As someone who likes and makes experimental games, I kinda love everything that you described. It sounds legit playful, on a much deeper level than most.

More info from him here if you're interested:
https://adamsimmersive.itch.io/playtime-weird-clocks-for-playdate/devlog/400599/playtime-a-mini-postmortem
https://devforum.play.date/t/playtime-50-weird-game-style-alarm-clocks-for-playdate/3843/43