Current Events > CE dating experts, i need your help

(+) Yeah! (+)

A couple months ago, I matched with a girl who got along with me fairly well. We are both foreigners in another country, so we had a lot to bond over. However, there was distance between us among other things not worth mentioning, but i still liked her.

However, she bailed out. It was sad, but i was ok. Then a few weeks passed, and she came back on her own. She rejected me again, saying i wasnt what she wanted. Ehatever, right? Got my answer.

Then , when i didnt get emotional and chase her, she flipped out and for nearly two weeks, started sending me nonstop texts. Long strings complaining about how she actually loved me and how wrong she was. But then she would suddenly shift when i told her that she rejected me twice, and that i didnt trust her. She started insulting me and beating herself up about it,

A month or so went by. She sent me a birthday song that she played on piano via text. Then she asked if a girl who liked a pic on my FB page was dating me (she wasnt, just a friend). We talked for a little bit. Then a month later, it was her birthday, and she started messaging me saying how much she liked my recent pictures. She was actually being cool and we talked like normal. She would disappear for a while, and she told me she really ahd no feelings anymore, so fine.

Then the other day, she messages me stating that she feels i dont like her. Then we talked about it, and i brought up that i just felt like there was no consistency. She blows up again and starts calling me toxic, and not being a man. Starts beating herself up, saying i have too high of standards (she is obviously projecting now) and a ton of other things. I actually feel sad and talk calmly to her, because the truth was, i did like her a lot before. But she never showed me consistency, the popping in and out made me feel anxious, and the fact that she would often only come around when she saw my friend talking to me was obviously jealousy.

What should I do. There was a lot that i liked about her, but her anger bursts are kind of irrational. She knows my work address and all my social media (she actually searched for it online) and im worried she might stalk me if i do anything drastic. I worry that if i did give her a chance, she might just get bored because there is no more drama, or chase, or might just make up drama. Or become violent or angry.

TLDR: girl rejects me multiple times, then when i dont react, she says she loves me and goes ballistic. She calms down, comes back more mature, and then does it again when i dont give her a reaction that she likes again.

You cant actually need somebody to tell you to get far away from that.

Yeah I mean these are all huge red flags that she's not right in the head. If you want honest answers just say honest things. Say you like her, but you are confused by her actions, aren't trying to play games, so **** or get off the pot.

Too many red flags, unfortunately.

Seems to need some sort of professional help.

royic posted...

Yeah I mean these are all huge red flags that she's not right in the head. If you want honest answers just say honest things. Say you like her, but you are confused by her actions, aren't trying to play games, so **** or get off the pot.

I told her this and she blew up. Saying i keep bringing up the past and i cant forget her mistakes and she is a bad girl and i need someone perfect and then she says sorry and then she insults me again

Too many red flags, you need to shut that shit down

TetsuoS2 posted...

Too many red flags, unfortunately.

Seems to need some sort of professional help.

I hinted at this and oooohhhhh boy did that unlock another level of drama

_____Cait posted...

I told her this and she blew up. Saying i keep bringing up the past and i cant forget her mistakes and she is a bad girl and i need someone perfect and then she says sorry and then she insults me again

you gotta hit this like you've got a 3 Intelligence score in Fallout man. Anything more than two sentences in a txt message gets "haha wait do you like me or not i'm confused lol"

get out (leave)

Did the running of the bulls event start early, because that's a lot of red flags.

Relationships with drama addicts are pretty intense, and some people like that. Or at least they can put up with it if they really like the other person.

That's what it comes down to in the end: do you like her enough to deal with the drama?