Current Events > Tinder analytics between a 22 year old man and 22 woman

(+) Yeah! (+)

And people wonder why I have zero interest in the dating and relationship scene. Being aromantic just seems so much better for your mental health.

Glob posted...

Perhaps that is exactly what he should be doing though? A scattergun approach isnt the way forward when looking for human connection, and that is what you should be looking for.

I genuinely believe that the majority of men who struggle to have sex do so because they are trying to have sex, rather than trying to connect with people. You have to see women as people.

I'm not sure about that. The guy in the example at least got 151 chats. It's possible that with different behavior he'd get nothing.

You cannot necessarily afford to take the slow approach when there are very few people willing to give you the time of day to begin with.

There's many a guy who never goes straight for sex, always gets to know women first, and perpetually fails to generate any romantic chemistry as a result.

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Youve listed some problems that arent as mutually shared but also not exclusive. Men can have stalkers, be catfished and deal with emotional and physical abuse, these arent things only women deal with. Men match with shitty women all the time who think its a game just to berate them. Especially if hes a short king. We dont have people lying about their intentions with us? Youve never heard of women using men as a free meal for example? You dont think women also arent using men to get laid on tinder?

Women do have issues that men cant fully relate to, and the feeling of safety is one for sure, but for the most part I think men can relate to most of the same headaches of online dating. And I dont think women see the other side at all.

This isnt a pissing contest of whos got the worse dating pool and which is shittier. For men it feels like its an equally Shitty pool, just with far fewer options.

I hear what youre saying. Having more options to you just means potentially more headaches. but what you arent hearing is men put up with and relate to those exact same headaches in many ways, and have a fraction of a fraction of the options to fall back on when it doesnt work.

Think of any one of those matches that were a red flag to you. Now imagine you have no one else. For a dude, those exact same red flags for them wouldnt be the breaking points they are for you. They may still see it through, past the point you would end the relationship. Because they cannot afford to be choosy.

Have you heard of the ick? its a relatively new thing thats predominantly used by women, where they make up examples of things men cant do and are turnoffs. Red flags on a subatomic level really.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZM2GXCsBM/

heres a good example. Girl says man cant smoke a hookah, adds it to his list. Look at that list. There are literally thousands of videos of things men arent allowed to do or are just turnoffs for women and dudes populate lists like this based off what women are sharing, mostly as a laugh at what dating has become. And why do you think that is? I 100% believe its Because women absolutely have way more options, they can get as molecular as they want in what their preferences are.

Having choices is a luxury. I will continue to argue that as long as I can.

DarkChozoGhost posted...

Think of dating as growing a garden. The desired end result is a healthy crop.

Men are working with decent soil and sunlight, but don't have a good water source.

Women have lousy soil and there's an overgrown canopy making too much shade. They have access to a well and know where to buy good seeds.

Good soil is literally a feeling of security, the idea that they can meet people without immediate potential danger.

Water is the ability to navigate conversation and social norms to start growing the plant,

The seeds are matches, chances to get things started.

Women have no trouble getting bags and bags of seeds. But they try planting them, and they don't take at all. There's no partial fulfilment from that, it's worthless outside of a reassurance that there's potential.

Men have to spend a lot of time looking for seeds. So when they get some, it's a little exciting. It's a chance to take, to finally practice their planting techniques. Not enough to keep you from getting disheartened, but something.

Going from this point, men just need to water their seeds properly to get some real progress. It's hard, and the failures and time spent searching for new seeds is disheartening, but progress is progress.

Women are still hoping some of these seeds will take. They can try a lot of spots hoping to hit the right patches of soil, but they're further from the goal. They will have an easier time than men watering the crop, but getting to that point is a problem. And then they still need to clear some of the brush creating shade that represents their dates chances to be a threat.

Just because a metric is valuable to men doesn't mean it holds objective value in the quality of the scene as a whole.

This is a far better analogy.

But Im not gonna reiterate my points from my last post right now. I may come back to this.

SwayM posted...

Having choices is a luxury. I will continue to argue that as long as I can.

But I think you're metrics don't align with what you really want.

Like let's say that without considering any other statistical things, your goal was to get a second date with someone. Also let's just ignore men being inherently more unsafe or whatever.

Is it better to have a 10% match rate with 0.1% second date rate or a 0.1% match rate with 10% second date rate? Ultimately that's the same rate, but the talk about online dating seems to predominately center on the first one. I feel like most CEmen who talk about this would ultimately be unhappy about going on a bunch of unfulfilling first dates, but since they see it as "the more first dates I go on the better chance I have of a second date", any advice that lowers the first % to increase the second is seen as a no-go.

If your goal is just "have sex with a woman", then yeah sorry that's so imbalanced blame your fellow men for bombarding any woman with that goal.

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I don't think lack of women on the apps necesarily indicates they're having a worse time. It could just mean they more willing to be alone so are willing to give up earlier than men are.

Inohira posted...

I'm not sure about that. The guy in the example at least got 151 chats. It's possible that with different behavior he'd get nothing.

You cannot necessarily afford to take the slow approach when there are very few people willing to give you the time of day to begin with.

There's many a guy who never goes straight for sex, always gets to know women first, and perpetually fails to generate any romantic chemistry as a result.

Yes, its possible that he could adapt his approach and get a poor result by making a different mistake, but that doesnt mean he is doing the right thing.

Glob posted...

I genuinely believe that the majority of men who struggle to have sex do so because they are trying to have sex, rather than trying to connect with people. You have to see women as people.

No I don't, that defeats the purpose of looking for sex

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Yeah I mean it sucks but the guys who also described it that way are still using it whereas you stopped.

Not that it really matters

Anteaterking posted...

I feel like most CEmen who talk about this would ultimately be unhappy about going on a bunch of unfulfilling first dates, but since they see it as "the more first dates I go on the better chance I have of a second date", any advice that lowers the first % to increase the second is seen as a no-go.

seems like an argument coming from a privileged position.

you're never going to convince somebody like the guy in the first pic that spending entire nights at home swiping right literally thousands of times is preferable or somehow worse than consistently being able to actually dress up/go out/smell fresh air/spend some money on food that isn't takeaway/communicate with another irl person regardless if the chances of a second date are 0 in either case.

why don't you actually let them get to that position by overcoming that first hurdle before trying to argue against it?
repeatedly yelling out "but the second hurdle is just as bad as being stuck on the first" is not the way to go.

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Simultaneously ignoring my points and pointing a finger that its horny men begging for sex thats the problem and driving them away from the apps. This isnt evidence, answers, nor is it healthy dialogue. Im not wondering why the pool is shrinking. Ive been pointing out its a rigged game from the start.

https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/02/08/for-valentines-day-5-facts-about-single-americans/

6/10 men are single. Compared to 3/10 female. There are half as many available options in the pool to begin with. It says nothing that women are being driven off the apps and says everything about the hill men have to climb to be successful.

Combine that with the notion of not being on an app. This actually a choice a woman could make and still have a successful dating career. A man making this choice is just climbing an even bigger hill and making his life that much harder.

AsucaHayashi posted...

seems like an argument coming from a privileged position.

you're never going to convince somebody like the guy in the first pic that spending entire nights at home swiping right literally thousands of times is preferable or somehow worse than consistently being able to actually dress up/go out/smell fresh air/spend some money on food that isn't takeaway/communicate with another irl person regardless if the chances of a second date are 0 in either case.

why don't you actually let them get to that position by overcoming that first hurdle before trying to argue against it?
repeatedly yelling out "but the second hurdle is just as bad as being stuck on the first" is not the way to go.

Dude, that first date scenario might seem all peachy to you but youre coming at it from a privileged position, as Id imagine youre generally not concerned about things like getting raped.

Rejection sucks. I dont think anybody would deny that. But its not the same as having to worry about shit like that.

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Unlike women, men frequently put 100% emotional labor on their partners. And don't learn to process feelings. Or maintain friendships. Men are just lonely antisocial things statistically. Without a partner they're in terrible shape and they know it so they're not willing to readily give up.

I mean it would be good for men not to be that way, toxic masculinity patriarchy yada yada but that's how it is for lots and lots of us.

royic posted...

Unlike women, men frequently put 100% emotional labor on their partners. And don't learn to process feelings. Or maintain friendships. Men are just lonely antisocial things statistically. Without a partner they're in terrible shape and they know it so they're not willing to readily give up.

I mean it would be good for men not to be that way, toxic masculinity patriarchy yada yada but that's how it is for lots and lots of us.

lmao what a trash post

God I love smashing tinder chicks

BeantownHero posted...

lmao what a trash post

Ur gonna have to leave Boston unless you start making smarter posts

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Ya I'm good I'm engaged but it was pretty depressing being single and I had to be very forward for a guy to make friends and talk about feelings with other guys

ScazarMeltex posted...

They do have it worse, because they have to worry about the fact that every dude they come into contact with there could be a fucking monster who might rape them. Add to that the anxiety of a criminal justice system that is more willing to protect the rapist than it is to punish them. Especially if he's a wealthy white dude.

Also, shut the fuck up.

Some of you weirdos are completely broken.

Glob posted...

Dude, that first date scenario might seem all peachy to you but youre coming at it from a privileged position, as Id imagine youre generally not concerned about things like getting raped.

Rejection sucks. I dont think anybody would deny that. But its not the same as having to worry about shit like that.

Erm wow moving the goalpost so far away theyre basically sticks on the horizon now.

but still you kinda seem to be arguing my point. Why should they worry about what happens outside when theyre stuck inside?

Maybe it's because I've been engaging in the real world more than normal lately, but I've never noticed how negative this board could be.

It is pretty sad though...

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SMHof course I would highlight the stats of young men vs young women since thats literally this entire subject. The topic is dating apps, its going to be those age ranges predominantly.

LeadPipeCinche posted...

Don't use the Ap for what its not intended for.
Its a site to fuck people.
Its not a site to make friends and chit chat.
Quit using it wrong.

I disagree. There are people looking for serious relationships. You can put a status of what you are looking for.

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You are trying very hard and claiming I didnt read it, yet:

Single men are more likely than their female counterparts to be searching for romantic experiences. Half of these men are looking for a committed relationship and/or casual dates, while 35% of single women say the same.

So half of the men are looking compared to 1/3rd of the females.its still not good odds no matter how hard you try and spin it. All data says there are way less available and looking women vs men. Thats simply all I said:

SwayM posted...

6/10 men are single. Compared to 3/10 female. There are half as many available options in the pool to begin with. It says nothing that women are being driven off the apps and says everything about the hill men have to climb to be successful.

Combine that with the notion of not being on an app. This actually a choice a woman could make and still have a successful dating career. A man making this choice is just climbing an even bigger hill and making his life that much harder.

Look at that. I was talking in generalities here too and making a broad point in response to you wildly claiming women are being driven off the apps. There are less women in the dating pool in general. Thats just reality.

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Women are less likely to even have to resort to online dating in the first place, most will get propositioned IRL plenty, unlike men. Also, going to the trouble of making an account on these sites at all could be considered a form of initiating, which women don't do as much as men by a long shot. There are more reasons besides "bad experiences" to explain the gap

Sad_Face posted...

my argument revolves around the 18-29 age bracket, as I stated that before and the OP's pics state 22 year old female and male.

If we're going to dig into different age brackets, we know a male's sexual market value increases as he ages (of course it falls at a certain point), as he should be settled in his career among other factors while women's sexual market value decreases as they age (to rephrase a woman's sexual market value peaks waaaaay earlier than a man's) because their attractiveness revolves around fertility and youth and they're competing with women younger than them.

Note I'm not saying it's impossible for a woman to find a steady relationship at 40 or a guarantee a 40 year old man is going to get his pick of the ladies available to him. It's just gonna be harder for the lady and easier for the guy compared to if they were 15 years younger.

well now if you are backing up to that range only 43% actually want a relationship so the vast majority that actually want a relationship have one.

the facts are that the majority of people have relationships assuming they actually want one.

using redpill terms isn't going to get you credibility fyi. those types are poisoning your mind and are one of the main reasons most of their adherents remain single.

AsucaHayashi posted...

Erm wow moving the goalpost so far away theyre basically sticks on the horizon now.

but still you kinda seem to be arguing my point. Why should they worry about what happens outside when theyre stuck inside?

Empathy.

Just because its not happening to you, doesnt mean you cant worry about it.

And you know what a lot of women (and men too) love in a partner (or a friend)? Empathy.

Have you once in the entirety of your CE life ever not split hairs and understood the point being made?

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I literally laughed out loud how ironic and projecting this is.

You absolutely dont get it.

men don't have to resort to online dating either generally. i have never used online dating (installed meetme many years ago but noticed many of the women in my area seemed to be bots). unless you live in a super isolated rural area there are opportunities to meet women and it is much easier to connect with someone if you are around them and can actually get to know them in a less artifical atmosphere

andel posted...

men don't have to resort to online dating either generally. i have never used online dating (installed meetme many years ago but noticed many of the women in my area seemed to be bots). unless you live in a super isolated rural area there are opportunities to meet women and it is much easier to connect with someone if you are around them and can actually get to know them in a less artifical atmosphere

This is true.

Like I mentioned earlier, Ive spent all of one month on an online dating platform. Im 36 and the time Ive spent single since moving out of my parents place 20 years ago is probably around a year in total.

If the apps are stressing you out, find another way.

andel posted...

men don't have to resort to online dating either generally. i have never used online dating (installed meetme many years ago but noticed many of the women in my area seemed to be bots). unless you live in a super isolated rural area there are opportunities to meet women and it is much easier to connect with someone if you are around them and can actually get to know them in a less artifical atmosphere

Define easier?

Knowing whos single, looking and remotely interested in you can be a nightmare to navigate.

Unless you live in a big city and the club and bar scene is your thing? Thats not for everyone though.

SwayM posted...

Define easier?

Knowing whos single, looking and remotely interested in you can be a nightmare to navigate.

Unless you live in a big city and the club and bar scene is your thing? Thats not for everyone though.

Clubs and bars arent the only social environments though. You just need to meet people.

Why am I even clicking on this topic?

It's obvious that the discussion can't be any good.

SwayM posted...

Have you once in the entirety of your CE life

Insulting or complaining about the board isnt a good sign.

Karovorak posted...

Why am I even clicking on this topic?

It's obvious that the discussion can't be any good.

You are feeling masochistic.

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Just need English to complete the trifecta!

SwayM posted...

Define easier?

Knowing whos single, looking and remotely interested in you can be a nightmare to navigate.

Unless you live in a big city and the club and bar scene is your thing? Thats not for everyone though.

think about how people have met partners throughout human history. that is still the best method with the highest success rate. just meeting women through friends or hobbies is probably by far the most common way for men or women to meet a significant other. if you meet a woman you can find out if she is single and go from there. just talking to women and showing you are a normal person will get you a chance, especially if you have interests or friends in common. trying to cold pick up women is something i have never done and is a terrible strategy that people on the internet buy for some unknown reason, but that isn't how people generally meet.