Current Events > Older guys who just openly tell you what they think of younger female coworkers

(+) Yeah! (+)

Villain_S_Fiend posted...

Yeah, the whole "gotta be careful what you say" thing is bullshit. You don't have to be careful - you just have to practice a baseline level of self control, professionalism, and respect. If it's so difficult not to say sleazy stuff at work that you feel like you have to be "careful" or comments on your coworkers tits might slip out, then you need therapy.

That makes you sound out-of-touch with the majority. What one person finds funny another may find offensive. Each person is spoken to differently to accommodate their particular traits. That's social skills. What a person doesn't know about can't hurt them.

Chillscream123 posted...

That makes you sound out-of-touch with the majority. What one person finds funny another may find offensive. Each person is spoken to differently to accommodate their particular traits. That's social skills. What a person doesn't know about can't hurt them.

Ridiculous. It's not at all "out of touch" - perhaps out of touch with the older demographic that I specified, but that's because they are out of touch with a changing world.

We can agree that sexually charged comments about coworkers is unprofessional, yes?

We can agree that people, generally speaking, can control the words they say, yes?

We can agree that the social landscape in regards to gender relations is noticeably changing with time, yes?

Then what I suggested is not unreasonable.

Yes, we know. It's everybody else's fault when you get reported to HR for inappropriate comments about your coworkers because they're prudes, not on you for being inappropriate.

Really not hard to keep it to yourself but you gotta keep digging.

action52 posted...

It's legal for 14 year old kids to work. Employers just have to follow stricter regulations like not working them too many hours, not letting them work late at night, sending them home extra early on school nights, not letting them do anything hazardous. Stuff like that.

Only for family owned businesses. A corporation can't hire 14 year olds legally.

Revelation34 posted...

Only for family owned businesses. A corporation can't hire 14 year olds legally.

Are 14-Year-Olds Legally Allowed to Work?
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/14-year-olds-legally-allowed-work-get-ahead-by-linkedin-news-1e?utm

While it is possible for 14-year-olds to legally work in most states, laws restrict how, when and where they can work.

You know, all you had to do was google "is it legal for a 14 year old to work" to find out that you were wrong. Why didn't you even take two seconds to make sure you were right? Was it laziness or arrogance?

action52 posted...

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/14-year-olds-legally-allowed-work-get-ahead-by-linkedin-news-1e?utm

You know, all you had to do was google "is it legal for a 14 year old to work" to find out that you were wrong. Why didn't you even take two seconds to make sure you were right? Was it laziness or arrogance?

Good luck finding a Walmart hiring a 14 year old.

And to come back almost two days later about.

Wonder if that was how long it took for the "come back."

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

That's why I have Saspa/Noumas blocked >_>

voldothegr8 posted...

They're just trying to bond with you my dude. Titties and women are typically a nice bonding conversation.

Is every topic okay if it's for "bonding"?

Chillscream123 posted...

No it wasn't. I said it's ok to glance at a beautiful woman and to talk about them with guys. That isn't sexual harassment. Actual sexual harassment is NOT ok.

What exactly is "talk about them"? As a guy I definitely think it's okay for another guy to come up to me at work and say "Wow she has a great ass"...

Ruvan22 posted...

What exactly is "talk about them"? As a guy I definitely think it's okay for another guy to come up to me at work and say "Wow she has a great ass"...

Yeah, exactly. That sort of thing.

When I was interviewing for a desk job at a financial firm, I tried to start the conversation by commenting on a picture of him hugging a really young asian girl (the guy was an old balding guy) and thought that was his daughter or something. Well you can guess that wasn't the case since I am posting in this topic, it was actually his 19 year old wife. The weird part was when he started openly hornying out like talking about her smooth skin and all that. I had to immediately change the subject, it was one of the most awkward experience I had in a interview ever lol.

randy_123r posted...

lmao I notice that user tends to respond days later. We got quite interesting people on CE

Because I usually only post at work which means I don't have time to read every thread I posted in until a day off.

Chillscream123 posted...

Yeah, exactly. That sort of thing.

Okay so I definitely should have double checked as I meant to say-
As a guy I definitely don't think it's okay for another guy to come up to me at work and say "Wow she has a great ass"...

I can't speak for other males but I'd be a skivved out if a male coworker said that to me. Are you okay with guys telling you that at work?

Ruvan22 posted...

Okay so I definitely should have double checked as I meant to say-
As a guy I definitely don't think it's okay for another guy to come up to me at work and say "Wow she has a great ass"...

I can't speak for other males but I'd be a skivved out if a male coworker said that to me. Are you okay with guys telling you that at work?

Clearly he is. It's why he's called other people out of touch and prudes for being against it and peddled that it's okay so long as it doesn't get out.

Ruvan22 posted...

Okay so I definitely should have double checked as I meant to say-
As a guy I definitely don't think it's okay for another guy to come up to me at work and say "Wow she has a great ass"...

I can't speak for other males but I'd be a skivved out if a male coworker said that to me. Are you okay with guys telling you that at work?

It's not a big deal. People mention attractive people to others. It's an innocent enough comment.

Context matters, of course. It would be inappropriate if there was a small office of four guys and a girl, and the guys were constantly making perverted comments behind the girl's back. At a big department store would I expect the average Joe to make the occasional comment among his immediate co-workers regarding the beauty of a girl who works on the other end of the building? Naturally.

Or, and this may come as a shock, it's always inappropriate to make creepy, sexual, comments about coworkers.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

It sure is funny that it's all of three people going to bat for it while everybody else is telling them it's wrong.

Quagmire wasn't a silly character. He was the norm.

GranAures posted...

Or, and this may come as a shock, it's always inappropriate to make creepy, sexual, comments about coworkers.

Creepy comments? Yes, always inappropriate. Commenting on someone's beauty? It really isn't a big deal. I wouldn't call it "appropriate", but I would say it is human and commonplace. I know that may come as a shock to you, but that's reality.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


Yep. That sort of thing is always gross and unacceptable and ought to be rooted out at every turn.

But you do call it appropriate with every time you go to bat for it. You call it appropriate every time you try to act like everybody else is out of touch or a prude for not being okay with it. You call it appropriate every time you excuse it with "well they'll never know."

GranAures posted...

But you do call it appropriate with every time you go to bat for it. You call it appropriate every time you try to act like everybody else is out of touch or a prude for not being okay with it. You call it appropriate every time you excuse it with "well they'll never know."

He'll be banned by the end of the day. No reason to get too worked up.

Chillscream123 posted...

It's not a big deal. People mention attractive people to others. It's an innocent enough comment.

Context matters, of course. It would be inappropriate if there was a small office of four guys and a girl, and the guys were constantly making perverted comments behind the girl's back. At a big department store would I expect the average Joe to make the occasional comment among his immediate co-workers regarding the beauty of a girl who works on the other end of the building? Naturally.

So you are okay with a coworker saying "the girl in loading has a nice ass" out of the blue to you?

I guess it's just a personal value - it *is* a big deal to me, as I (and people I've worked with in the past and currently) wouldn't be "okay" being told something like that.

Chillscream123 posted...

Creepy comments? Yes, always inappropriate. Commenting on someone's beauty? It really isn't a big deal. I wouldn't call it "appropriate", but I would say it is human and commonplace. I know that may come as a shock to you, but that's reality.

Yep. That sort of thing is always gross and unacceptable and ought to be rooted out at every turn.

ETA - why do you believe something being "commonplace" (if this is) makes it acceptable? Complimenting women directly in the workplace used to commonplace ...
Also there's a difference between "she's beautiful" and what I asked (and the types of comments this thread is about).

GranAures posted...

But you do call it appropriate with every time you go to bat for it. You call it appropriate every time you try to act like everybody else is out of touch or a prude for not being okay with it. You call it appropriate every time you excuse it with "well they'll never know."

I've been very clear this entire time that I do not condone sexual harassment in any way and being a creep around minors is especially abhorrent. You are getting worked up and forming strawmen arguments.

Ruvan22 posted...

Also there's a difference between "she's beautiful" and what I asked (and the types of comments this thread is about).

^

"Did you see the ass on Sally," is not appropriate whether or not Sally hears about it. Subjecting third parties to your "tastes" is also harassment if the comments makes them uncomfortable. That's not being "out of touch" or a "prude," that's other people not appreciating openly sexual comments about their coworkers.

Ruvan22 posted...

So you are okay with a coworker saying "the girl in loading has a nice ass" out of the blue to you?

Depends on how well I know the guy and how well I know the girl. If a coworker I barely knew just said it out of nowhere? Yeah, I'd find that weird too.

GranAures posted...

^

"Did you see the ass on Sally," is not appropriate whether or not Sally hears about it. Subjecting third parties to your "tastes" is also harassment if the comments makes them uncomfortable. That's not being "out of touch" or a "prude," that's other people not appreciating openly sexual comments about their coworkers.

To be fair, women at jobs like Walmart will make similar remarks about their male co-workers.

Chillscream123 posted...

You are getting worked up and forming strawmen arguments

Villain_S_Fiend posted...

That makes you sound out-of-touch with the majority.

Villain_S_Fiend posted...

What a person doesn't know about can't hurt them.

Both quoted from your moderated post. A previous one, unquoted, was you pining that you had to be careful with your "compliments" because people were prudes.

That is you openly excusing it the type of actions you claim to be against. And just above
Chillscream123 posted...

Depends on how well I know the guy and how well I know the girl

Admitting your fine with sexual comments depending on the source and the target

I remember when I used to work in retail, I never saw guys making sexual remarks about female coworkers. It was always about female customers.

Chillscream123 posted...

It's pretty based when old guys talk like that.

bsp77 posted...

As long as they don't act on it, and merely keep it as men's locker room talk, it's fine. Especially when the person being talked about isn't in the room.

Another quoted moderated post excusing sexual comments so long as the person being talked about isn't around to know as well as calling such behavior "based."

GranAures posted...

Both quoted from your moderated post. A previous one, unquoted, was you pining that you had to be careful with your "compliments" because people were prudes.

That is you openly excusing it.

Openly excusing what? You are sadly mistaken if you think I was excusing sexual harassment or being creepy towards children. You insult me by inventing such a strawman.

Regarding prudes. Both a prude and an average person would be reasonably alarmed by creepy conduct that amounts to sexual harassment. However prudes tend to be extra sensitive beyond society's standards, such as taking offense at something innocent, like saying the girl from accounting is cute. But if the "compliment" you dream of amounts to sexual harassment, then the prude would be in the right to take issue.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


Respectfully, you are wrong. If you think that, you misinterpreted my posts.

You mean a "compliment" like

Ruvan22 posted...

the girl in loading has a nice ass

A statement you admit to being fine to so long as it's a friend saying it about a stranger.

Let's visit that. What makes your buddy saying it about a stranger okay but a stranger saying it about your friend wrong? Why is it a "acceptable" in the former case but "unacceptable" in the other instead of unacceptable in both cases?

Chillscream123 posted...

like saying the girl from accounting is cute

You mean things the thread isn't about? While the thread is about things like saying "I would pay her alimony" and the like which are comments you refer to as "based."

Honestly, it's weird regardless of the coworker's age. Years ago I offered to give my very pregnant coworker (she was like 8 months pregnant) a ride home and my other coworker kept making it sexual with jokes and innuendos such as "you're gonna give her a ride, then she's gonna give you a ride." That dude creeped me out so much.

Even if you manage to dial it back to an "acceptable" level, you already defended things that were way over the line in any context. It's still up to see, stop pretending you only ever defended innocent comments.

Co-workers always say ignorant garbage. I once got badmouthed for getting a ride to work because "men aren't supposed to ask for car rides."

This is a CE topic of all time