Current Events > Older guys who just openly tell you what they think of younger female coworkers

(+) Yeah! (+)

masterpug53 posted...

Well, you know what they say: when a woman says "I am in a very professional field and I still get comments directed my way often. I hate it :/," she really means "take me now, manmeat!"

@Gladius_

Any thoughts on his response?

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It's so difficult to hear the sarcastic tone of a persons voice over text on a message board.

I worked at a big box hardware store. The amount of guests that were so disgusting was, sadly not surprising.

i'm gonna get in trouble one day because whenever people say stuff like this to me i respond with something like "oh yeah dude, i'd let her vomit in my mouth fr" just to weird them out

it's going to backfire some day

I have a coworker like that. He's a pretty disgusting person in general. Not saying any of these things in particular are bad, but he's the whole deal.

He's extremely obese, poor hygiene, perverted, balding and greasy, sleazy, controlling, manipulative and lying.

Literally anytime a young or attractive woman walks by he'll be staring at her. Then makes nasty remarks about them to me. I get so grossed out by him and the things he says.

It's not any better when you work with mostly women. I just started in a hospital and all of the nurses do this openly about the couple of guys that work in the department. The doctors and admins are pretty professional, but the nurses are sexually harassing all over the place.

Last place I worked was dominated by women too. Same type of vibe.

voldothegr8 posted...

They're just trying to bond with you my dude. Titties and women are typically a nice bonding conversation.

Oh my bad if they're trying to bond I guess it can't be creepy.

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Personally, I'm fine as long as it's kept to words. I've more than once had to tell coworkers to keep their hands to themselves though. That kind of stuff I don't appreciate, but everyone has always respected my wishes once I spoke up.

Jiek_Fafn posted...

It's not any better when you work with mostly women. I just started in a hospital and all of the nurses do this openly about the couple of guys that work in the department. The doctors and admins are pretty professional, but the nurses are sexually harassing all over the place.

Last place I worked was dominated by women too. Same type of vibe.

yup
im the only guy in my department, straight up hear them go into detail about their sexual fantasies about male coworkers in other departments pretty often
took a side job during covid and had to write up a report against one of my employees for straight up propositioning my (married) immediate superior for NSA sex

There's a good chunk of those type of guys who will say the most out of pocket shit around you simply bc your also a guy

They don't want to feel alone in their shitty opinion

shockthemonkey posted...

Yeah of course youd defend creeping on kids

An 18 year old is a kid?

Gwynevere posted...

When I worked at Walmart, I worked with this older dude that would constantly be talking about the girls with yellow name tags. Those are to indicate people under 18. It definitely happens, and people aren't shy about it so why even go to bat for them?

Plus creeping on your coworkers who are just there to get a paycheck like anyone else is fucking weird regardless of age.

Yeah that's different. Nobody was talking about teenagers before Shock's first post. The only age given was 18-19 before that point.

ArsGoetia posted...

yup
im the only guy in my department, straight up hear them go into detail about their sexual fantasies about male coworkers in other departments pretty often
took a side job during covid and had to write up a report against one of my employees for straight up propositioning my (married) immediate superior for NSA sex

How does someone have sex with the NSA?

It's pretty based when old guys talk like that. Reminds me that we are both humans. So long as he doesn't get gross.

Ill be your snack pack

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I gotta ask what you do that has 14 year olds working with you.

To be clear, obviously talking about women is inappropriate if it's young kids or teenagers. Weird and gross. But when I hear "attractive young women" as per the topic title, my first thought is people in their 20s.

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It was 100% a sarcastically supportive post, making fun of the old 'when a woman says 'no' she really means 'yes'' mentality.

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Well too bad. Because it will be done for the rest of eternity. Men talk about women and women talk about men. Staring is rude but a glance is expected and 60 year olds are attracted to the same women as 30 year olds. As long as they don't act on it, and merely keep it as men's locker room talk, it's fine. Especially when the person being talked about isn't in the room.

Chillscream123 posted...

Well too bad. Because it will be done for the rest of eternity. Men talk about women and women talk about men. Staring is rude but a glance is expected and 60 year olds are attracted to the same women as 30 year olds. As long as they don't act on it, and merely keep it as men's locker room talk, it's fine. Especially when the person being talked about isn't in the room.

I want to know where these "locker rooms" are because my co-workers and I tend to talk about the young women in the office in a respectful way. Pretty similar to the young men who are new to the office. Sounds like we are missing out on the fun.

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I agree with you on that point. Sexual harassment is not ok.

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No it wasn't. I said it's ok to glance at a beautiful woman and to talk about them with guys. That isn't sexual harassment. Actual sexual harassment is NOT ok.

If you can't shut them down with a hard glare just ask them directly and bluntly to stop

Look, as a human being you're going to notice other people are attractive. It's fine to glance or to mentally notice as you're going about your day normally. But it's your responsibility to make sure that you're not staring or doing anything else to the degree that other people notice. And I don't just mean whoever you're looking at. If other people notice you creepily staring at someone, that's going to make them uncomfortable.

And if you and someone else who is also comfortable want to discreetly talk about someone... I guess you're not hurting anyone? I still am not a fan of it. You really should try to avoid talking about people behind their backs. If you can't say it to their face you should ask yourself whether you need to say it at all. Or at least save those conversations for outside of work.

And don't just assume other people will be comfortable talking about that. Also, it is once again your responsibility to make sure other people don't hear you. Oh, and it should go without saying that if you're saying that stuff about someone who is underage, that makes it like ten times more disgusting.

I don't know, maybe some people just need to start seeing sexual harassment issues more like other things. Don't we usually avoid things like loudly farting in front of coworkers, blaring loud music at our desks, and having loud conversations about our bodily functions? You know, because it makes other people uncomfortable? Making vulgar comments and talking about the attractiveness of your coworkers makes people uncomfortable. So don't do it.

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I have never understood this mentality to be honest. Sure, I will talk about women with my close friends but not with coworkers about other coworkers. It is a place of business and you are supposed to have professional respect for one another.

It a tree falls in the woods with nobody to hear it, does it make a sound? If a person is talked about but never knows about it, is any harm done?

Harm is the key distinction here. That's the line where unsophisticated but tolerable behavior becomes unacceptable.

When I worked retail/warehouse we had to take a million e-learnings about sexual harassment. This is pretty clearly covered under those rules.

Guess older creeps just speed-ran the videos

shockthemonkey posted...

Bud I literally have 14 year old coworkers who have been sexualized by 60 year olds. Theyre kids. Its fucking gross. Stop trying to find ways to justify this kind of behavior.

So you're breaking child labor laws?

shockthemonkey posted...

Ask your women coworkers whether they feel the same way about the stuff you say about them behind their backs

That didn't acknowledge the argument.

You know what's really easy?

Keeping your strange creepy sexual comments about your coworkers to yourself. Then you will both succeed in not sounding creepy and succeed in not getting reported to HR.

Hell of a lot easier than going through the trouble of braiding the rope to hang yourself defending it.

Report them to HR and be done with it.

Revelation34 posted...

So you're breaking child labor laws?

It's legal for 14 year old kids to work. Employers just have to follow stricter regulations like not working them too many hours, not letting them work late at night, sending them home extra early on school nights, not letting them do anything hazardous. Stuff like that.

Used to have a dude at my work who was like 32 and hitting on 15 year olds working there.

sonichu posted...

Used to have a dude at my work who was like 32 and hitting on 15 year olds working there.

Did he go to jail or get reported to HR and fired ?

Revelation34 posted...

An 18 year old is a kid?

Did you know that sexual harassment is sexual harassment regardless of age, gender, or sexuality?

Moron.

shockthemonkey posted...

I get it, you really want to say stupid things
His argument is that sexual harassment is fine. Fuck off.

No his argument is it isn't sexual harassment.

Revelation34 posted...

No his argument is it isn't sexual harassment.

Which is also a stupid argument.

I remember when I was working at mcdonalds and the 2 older lady managers would slap my ass all the time. Me and my male co workers would laugh about it.

Obviously its different being a male especially back 18-20 years ago, good luck complaining to anyone about it, not that I would have because I was fine with it.

Looking back though it is kind of messed up that just happened to me every morning shift for a year. Seriously I regret not asking my other female coworkers who were my age at the time what they thought about it.

My go-to response to that gross shit is "that's not the kind of thing I talk about at work." Then I just divert my attention elsewhere. I haven't had anybody keep pushing the conversation after that, but if they did I'd tell them the reason I don't talk about it is because it's unprofessional and doesn't encourage a healthy work environment. Any further pushback to that would see me report them.

I am in my mid-forties. I've heard, and to my shame participated, in that kind of talk. But I've had plenty of time to grow past that dumb shit (and admittedly it took longer than it should have), and I look back and I can see how lousy it is and I am pretty well out of patience for people my age or older who just won't mature themselves past acting like that.

GranAures posted...

You know what's really easy?

Keeping your strange creepy sexual comments about your coworkers to yourself. Then you will both succeed in not sounding creepy and succeed in not getting reported to HR.

Or just be careful that you don't joke around the prudes. Usually you can figure out who they are when you work at a place for a few weeks.

Yeah, the whole "gotta be careful what you say" thing is bullshit. You don't have to be careful - you just have to practice a baseline level of self control, professionalism, and respect. If it's so difficult not to say sleazy stuff at work that you feel like you have to be "careful" or comments on your coworkers tits might slip out, then you need therapy.