Current Events > Have you ever cheated on your significant other?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Dragon56 posted...

Statistics didn't get through to some of you so I figured a food analogy might be more pertinent

Making up shit isnt statistics.

ai123 posted...

is as f***ing stupid as accusing someone of being unfaithful with their sex toys.

Don't judge me! I'll fight you!

I feel like we should all just block Dragon, to be honest.

Glob posted...

I feel like we should all just block Dragon, to be honest.

Block me all you want but the truth will find a way.

I've never cheated in a relationship.

I have been the "other guy" in other instances, however.

Dragon56 posted...

Block me all you want but the truth will find a way.

Your ass doesn't equal truth though.

Shocking I know.

MTRodaba2468 posted...

I've never cheated in a relationship.

I have been the "other guy" in other instances, however.

Dont worry. Most people have experienced what you have experienced (knowingly or unknowingly).

Dragon56 posted...

Dont worry. Most people have experienced what you have experienced (knowingly or unknowingly).

Says you. But you dont know that, or have any proof

Glob posted...

I feel like we should all just block Dragon, to be honest.

Thinking about it, it is probably best to ignore em' now...

Pretty much akin to kicking a dead corpse... just vindictive at this point.

I've never cheated on anyone. Cheating is absolutely despicable in my eyes and I've ended friendships over it. Two of my exes cheated on me and it wrecked me.

I did lie and tell a guy I was dating in high school that I cheated on him. I didn't actually do it though. I had a habit of compulsively lying at that age. I was also going through a host of emotional issues and just wanted to lash out and hurt him. Doesn't make it right, but that's why I did it.

EthanSilver posted...

Though tbh, that they would even have a chance to "cheat," is in itself much suspect.

Agreed

Dragon56 posted...

Well, all your partners are going to cheat on you because that's life. But props to you for your strong commitment to them!

This is incel rhetoric

I was in a long distance romance for 3 years, and the thought never occurred to me. My mother once suggested that to me, and to not tell her about it...now, i can't respect a word that comes out of her mouth.

fuck cheaters.

They never loved their partners - they were scared of dying alone.

I cheated on someone I dated for 3 years. I was just lonely after she moved to a different country. I said I'd come visit eventually but deep down I knew It was unlikely to happen for various reasons. Was too scared to break off the relationship at the time. A week after I cheated I felt guilty enough to tell her what I did. That is what finally broke off our relationship.

I think the vast majority of people nowadays who are in super long term (5+ years) relationships have either cheated or been cheated on. Especially if you go ahead and count emotional cheating.

And the reality is even if your girlfriend is a bit of a ditzyoull still likely never know unless you for real snoop on her phone. You pretty much just wont know.

EthanSilver posted...

I mean, it's not like it just affects girls. Not that you're saying this or anything.

Just saying.

It obviously doesn't only affect women. But I'm not dating men, so I'm not worried about whether or not I will cheat on men.

Dragon56 posted...

Well, all your partners are going to cheat on you because that's life. But props to you for your strong commitment to them!

So what's the logic here? Since your partners are going to cheat, you should just cheat first? I can't imagine having such a negative outlook

Yes I have, repeatedly, and broke the trust and heart of the only committed partner I've ever had, a person who was only ever loving and loyal to me. I have no excuse, I was just a piece of shit who couldn't resist the allure and attention of "new" women.

Like many people in this community, I was sexually stunted growing up. I came from a different culture where I felt like I couldn't talk about girls/dating/sex with my traditionalist parents. I was also overweight and had poor confidence, and thus got almost zero attention from women in my teens and most of my 20s. Once I shed the weight, I began receiving more attention but was too immature to reciprocate it in a healthy way. I didn't lose my virginity or even kiss a woman until I was 27-28.

Zero sex, romance, and attention until my late 20s, but after that, it was like floodgate was burst. Rather than persue a healthy relationship and commit to one woman, I now felt confident enough to flirt with many, and I did. After my one relationship ended (after years of ups and downs), I've been single and involving myself with many women, and while it's been enjoyable at times, it can still get very messy when emotions become involved (despite me explaining that I'm not monogamous and not seeking commitment).

It's been like this for the better part of ten years (I'm 37), and I've only very recently acknowledged it as a problem that's affecting my health and sense of balance. I'm seeing a mental health counselor for my first therapy session about sex addiction and impulse control tomorrow, actually.

Theres some real shit going on in this thread frfr

Timmyjinkle posted...

What lead to you doing it?
My wife's sister wanted a baby with their female partner, and I said they shouldn't pay for the procedure when I can do it for free, and my joke... was taken deadly seriously, and I felt I couldn't back out.

Who was the person?
My wife's sister (Ellen).

Did they know you were in a relationship?
They were at the wedding, and visited us weeklyso, I hope so.

How long did it go on for?
About 10-12 months.

How were you able to get away with it?
Well, my wife knew before it even occurred. So, there was no 'getting away' with anything.

Did you confess or how did you get caught?
Neither my wife was aware throughout.

How did they take it?
My wife's sister was ecstatic when she was pregnant, and... so was I, my wife didn't want children (and couldn't have her own due to complications) which I respect, but... I, I guess, I always considered it...

Are you still together?
They moved closer, so I could see my daughter more often than weekly, and I see her mostly every day of the week. She's often surprised she has three mommies and one daddy, but most in her school think it was from 'a marriage break-up', from what the teachers tell Ellen.

Did you learn from the experience?
'Many a true word spoken in jest.'

If ur wife knew about it and was fine with it, then its not really cheating.

No

bsp77 posted...

No, but I helped someone else do so. It was a fucked up situation

Did this too. I lied to people to keep it secret. I also did it under diress. It hurt people that I cared about when it was revealed. It also showed the true people underneath the masks that were involved. I wish I could go back and say tell them and don't let it go on

vycebrand2 posted...

Did this too. I lied to people to keep it secret. I also did it under diress. It hurt people that I cared about when it was revealed. It also showed the true people underneath the masks that were involved. I wish I could go back and say tell them and don't let it go on

Luckily, I don't really feel bad about it. I met her at a bar and she was clearly into me. Found out she had a bf that she lived with. She was deeply unhappy with him (emotionally detached, anger issues) but didn't have the money to leave him.

We started to have a thing and he found out and kicked her out. She officially stayed with her sister but was with me half the time. She found a better job and got her own apartment. We stopped screwing around but sorta remained friends for a bit. Not really anymore.

I was recently divorced and couldn't say "no" to a hot, younger woman. I know it wasn't right but she gave me my confidence back after my ex wife beat it out of me.

The whole thing was only like two months, but probably the most batshit crazy two months of my life.

Oh I thought you weren't involved. Ok mines different. I knew about it while the cheater was cheating but kept it secret from the one being cheated on and with the one being cheated with ( didnt know about the wife). I hated it. I think I made good later on what I did. (For those who know me here on GFaqs can put 2 and 2 together can figure out who I'm talking about).

vycebrand2 posted...

Oh I thought you weren't involved. Ok mines different. I knew about it while the cheater was cheating but kept it secret from the one being cheated on and with the one being cheated with ( didnt know about the wife). I hated it. I think I made good later on what I did. (For those who know me here on GFaqs can put 2 and 2 together can figure out who I'm talking about).

Yeah, I truly "helped" someone cheat. I know it was wrong but I was in a weird place.

Who you talking about? :)

One of Vyce's trademark tall tales I see

When I was younger I flitted about from person to person and sometimes cheated. I was horny and missed out on a ton of normal teenage experiences because of my own actions, so my repressed wild streak came out full force once I became an adult.

When I got older and found someone I really loved I stayed faithful.

Timmyjinkle posted...

What lead to you doing it?
My wife's sister wanted a baby with their female partner, and I said they shouldn't pay for the procedure when I can do it for free, and my joke... was taken deadly seriously, and I felt I couldn't back out.

Who was the person?
My wife's sister (Ellen).

Did they know you were in a relationship?
They were at the wedding, and visited us weeklyso, I hope so.

How long did it go on for?
About 10-12 months.

How were you able to get away with it?
Well, my wife knew before it even occurred. So, there was no 'getting away' with anything.

Did you confess or how did you get caught?
Neither my wife was aware throughout.

How did they take it?
My wife's sister was ecstatic when she was pregnant, and... so was I, my wife didn't want children (and couldn't have her own due to complications) which I respect, but... I, I guess, I always considered it...

Are you still together?
They moved closer, so I could see my daughter more often than weekly, and I see her mostly every day of the week. She's often surprised she has three mommies and one daddy, but most in her school think it was from 'a marriage break-up', from what the teachers tell Ellen.

Did you learn from the experience?
'Many a true word spoken in jest.'

That's not cheating.....

What lead to you doing it?
I was still in love with my ex and had a miserable marriage/home life

Who was the person?
My HS sweetheart

Did they know you were in a relationship?
Yeah

How long did it go on for?
A few months

How were you able to get away with it?
My wife and I barely spoke. She was always "late out of work"

Did you confess or how did you get caught?
I told my wife. I wanted our marriage over.

How did they take it?
Not well. But turns out, she was also having an emotional affair with a guy from HS that turned physical.

Are you still together?
HELL no

Did you learn from the experience?
I sure did. Love and the IDEA of love are very different. My current wife and I have had lots of ups and downs, but we actually communicate and work out our problems.
Idc what people say, people cheat for lots of reasons, and they are really just missing something in themselves most of the time. You can learn from it, or you can go on being shitty to people. My advice would be to take your time and find what's causing you to cheat, and work on that instead of jumping into another relationship.

no but i was close

BunkerBoy posted...

Definitely strong redpill incel energy from this guy. Does dragon have a manifesto?

It's funny cause I have them tagged as a republican troll. So it's just par for the course lmao

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


Most of the time they stop once I point out I have a ring on my left hand. But you get one on occasion not taking no for an answer. Its not that big of a deal since Im typically quite a bit bigger than them. Its just really annoying.

Never have, and never will. I've been cheated on and know how it feels. Could never put someone else through that. I'd leave her first.

Having never cheated, I still think that a lot of the mentality around cheating is over-simplistic. In a vacuum people shouldn't do it, but "Once a cheater always a cheater", "If you cheated you never really loved the person", etc. etc. all seem reductive.

Like yeah if your cheating story is "I was at the bar and a hot woman came up to me so I hooked up with her" then it's not very complicated, but

Never have and I definitely never will.

I have been cheated on a lot and it always hurts. :/

I've slept with around 6 women that were married to someone else and messed around with a few more. It always seemed acceptable while starting in my deluded mind. I in the past have cheated often too. I grew out of it. There came a day when I said "no more" to myself and I've kept my word. My wife now knows of every little past indiscretion I've ever had. I told her of every occurrence so she was aware of my past before we got together. I have never and will never cheat on her. That lifestyle is behind me. In the military infidelity was all around me, I got so used to it there. It truly is, as I was, disgusting.

RedDevilCat posted...

I've slept with around 6 women that were married to someone else and messed around with a few more. It always seemed acceptable while starting in my deluded mind. I in the past have cheated often too. I grew out of it. There came a day when I said "no more" to myself and I've kept my word. My wife now knows of every little past indiscretion I've ever had. I told her of every occurrence so she was aware of my past before we got together. I have never and will never cheat on her. That lifestyle is behind me. In the military infidelity was all around me, I got so used to it there. It truly is, as I was, disgusting.

See, I like this. People can change.

RedDevilCat posted...

I've slept with around 6 women that were married to someone else and messed around with a few more. It always seemed acceptable while starting in my deluded mind. I in the past have cheated often too. I grew out of it. There came a day when I said "no more" to myself and I've kept my word. My wife now knows of every little past indiscretion I've ever had. I told her of every occurrence so she was aware of my past before we got together. I have never and will never cheat on her. That lifestyle is behind me. In the military infidelity was all around me, I got so used to it there. It truly is, as I was, disgusting.

I agree with the military thing. It really annoys me, tbh Plenty of people I avoid because of that shit

LinkPizza posted...

I agree with the military thing. It really annoys me, tbh Plenty of people I avoid because of that shit

It's everywhere. I've also become more open about my indiscretions, and it often just takes one person at the table to admit "yeah... I've cheated" before others open up and admit the same. It's not something I condone, and I certainly don't believe "everyone's cheated," but I have seen that it is common enough that I don't revile cheaters as subhuman or anything (it's kinda difficult to revile yourself, after all). Life often gets difficult and people make poor decisions.

YoBlazer posted...

It's everywhere. I've also become more open about my indiscretions, and it often just takes one person at the table to admit "yeah... I've cheated" before others open up and admit the same. It's not something I condone, and I certainly don't believe "everyone's cheated," but I have seen that it is common enough that I don't revile cheaters as subhuman or anything (it's kinda difficult to revile yourself, after all). Life often gets difficult and people make poor decisions.

The ones I avoid are usually the ones who brag about it. Or know theyre doing something shitty, but continue Some of it is probably due to peer pressure, though that doesnt make it right Although you mentioned it was hard to revoke yourself But I dont think its actually that hard Anyway, I normally dont care if they cheat if it doesnt involve myself or my friends, or they know it was wrong or whatever But the ones I see more are the ones who brag about it

Was married 9 years, had plenty of opportunities to do it but didnt, I dont see the point in stealing someone elses time.

ai123 posted...

If you haven't cheated, you just haven't met the wrong person yet.

The world is full of people who swore blind they'd never do anything as despicable as cheating, only to find themselves cheating.

Being a standard issue CEman I'm not sure how that would come about, it's had to be a bizarre situation for me to enter any relationship at all. >_>

Never cheated, but younger me did a lot of shitty things like breaking up with someone so I could hook up with a stranger at a party later. I still had no regard for the girl I was in a relationship with, so it wasn't really much better

Anteaterking posted...

Having never cheated, I still think that a lot of the mentality around cheating is over-simplistic. In a vacuum people shouldn't do it, but "Once a cheater always a cheater", "If you cheated you never really loved the person", etc. etc. all seem reductive.

Like yeah if your cheating story is "I was at the bar and a hot woman came up to me so I hooked up with her" then it's not very complicated, but

Very much agree with this. Those quoted sentiments often come from understandably bitter people that had it happen to them and/or those that it already took an extreme feat to land 1 partner so it's easier for them to look down on something they've never experienced the opportunity of.

And like, spare me this ohhh I'd break up with them first, cuz can't imagine putting someone through the pain of cheating. As if getting broken up with someone you cared that much about isn't extremely painful and you sure can imagine tossing them to the curb just to smash randoms. Things aren't so simple is all.

nope. the idea of betraying my wife and breaking her heart breaks my heart. i'd never do that to her.

No.

LinkPizza posted...

When Im with someone, I dont crave anyone else If I date someone, I want them, and only them

I don't know why but this feels like a blanket statement that says any form of intimacy with anyone other than your primary partner is cheating and should be condemned

MrAntisocial posted...

I don't know why but this feels like a blanket statement that says any form of intimacy with anyone other than your primary partner is cheating and should be condemned

Needs to check their oneitis privilege.

EthanSilver posted...

No moving goal posts smart guy.

Some people consider porn to be cheating. I've had at least one girlfriend who considered porn and even talking to other women to be cheating. Doesn't seem to be moving the goalposts. Cheating is defined by what your partner deems is unacceptable regardless of your own feelings

foreverzero212 posted...

Very much agree with this. Those quoted sentiments often come from understandably bitter people that had it happen to them and/or those that it already took an extreme feat to land 1 partner so it's easier for them to look down on something they've never experienced the opportunity of.

And like, spare me this ohhh I'd break up with them first, cuz can't imagine putting someone through the pain of cheating. As if getting broken up with someone you cared that much about isn't extremely painful and you sure can imagine tossing them to the curb just to smash randoms. Things aren't so simple is all.

I find the concept of loyalty very simple, and refuse to die with that shame on me. Did a long distance relationship, and she was the only fucking girl i wanted, yet she wasn't even in my country! the thought of watching someone you love cry like that should deter it.

Also, yes...saying i don't want you anymore is honest, and painful, but you respected them enough to say it to their face. When you play this game you sign up for bad moments like that possibly happening.

And it's damn easy to look down on cheating as i've seen what it does to people. You're spitting in the face of someone you claimed you loved.