Current Events > Feeling a bit feminine tonight

(+) Yeah! (+)

Every now and then, most commonly when I'm calm and relaxed, something inside of me feels different. Like I can't quite put my finger on it but it's like a switch is flipped. Then, I imagine myself speaking with a different tone of voice (this tends to happen automatically. I don't have to consciously think about it). It's "softer" and more cute-sounding, then I imagine me carrying myself a bit differently, and some of it I occasionally do reactively in-person. Most of it however, stays internal, but there is a big part of me that just wants to let loose my femininity (soften my tone of voice, do gestures that you typically would not associate with masculinity, etc), because I am 95% sure it would feel completely natural.

As I said, this does not happen all the time, but when I'm not stressed it seems to come out more often. Keep in mind I also don't really believe in stereotypical gender roles. Gender means almost nothing to me beyond a biological level, and I have a steadily increasing desire and interest to dress up like a girl. I have not yet gotten to do it, but it's definitely on my bucket list. To be honest, I feel like there's a mental block that's stopping me, and I haven't figured out what that is yet. I've never actually felt like I was "born in the wrong body" or anything like that; my body is perfectly fine to me. There are just times where something about me feels missing, and that's when the thoughts of dressing up, changing mannerisms etc come in.

Some of my friends are wondering why this is important to me, and it's because I feel like I am not completely in touch with myself, and won't be until I figure this out. I'm leaning towards genderfluid or bi-gender but I really don't know; tbh, there are so many gender labels now it's beyond confusing. I've often wondered if it's not just me being influenced by societal gender roles and all that shit, but really...I don't think so. I remember first getting these feelings around the time Ocarina of Time 3D was released (yeah. I remember feeling this way during one of my playing sessions of that game), so it's been going on for quite some time. It feels "intuitive" to me so I think whatever I'm feeling is actually part of who I am.

Feels good, do it.

YourBestFrenemy posted...

Feels good, do it.

I have no idea how to actually bring it out.

Super_Slash posted...

I have no idea how to actually bring it out.

Well, when it does come out, (as you mentioned it does happen on it's own occassionally), maybe just try being mindful if you're able.
Dim the lights, get a nice scent going, maybe some kind of ambient noise/music, put on clothing that feels luxurious, (or nothing at all if that suits you better), and just be aware of what your body is telling you. Are there certain associations that drift through your mind? Let yourself be in that moment, and pay attention to all of your senses. What are they telling you?

YourBestFrenemy posted...

Well, when it does come out, (as you mentioned it does happen on it's own occassionally), maybe just try being mindful if you're able.
Dim the lights, get a nice scent going, maybe some kind of ambient noise/music, put on clothing that feels luxurious, (or nothing at all if that suits you better), and just be aware of what your body is telling you. Are there certain associations that drift through your mind? Let yourself be in that moment, and pay attention to all of your senses. What are they telling you?

Meditation basically?

TC reading my thoughts over here and shit. I'm in the same boat, except I'm already dressing up as a girl in private sometimes.

Hi, I've been trans all my life, and run a support group for trans folks. Feel free to reach out to me anytime if you need to, ok? You can find my discord through my steam profile in my sig.

hockeybub89 posted...

TC reading my thoughts over here and shit. I'm in the same boat, except I'm already dressing up as a girl in private sometimes.

Let's embrace our girliness together.

ManicPlumber77 posted...

Hi, I've been trans all my life, and run a support group for trans folks. Feel free to reach out to me anytime if you need to, ok? You can find my discord through my steam profile in my sig.

Ok. Thanks for the offer.