Current Events > what exactly makes a person likeable? how to be the life of the party?

(+) Yeah! (+)

when I try being more confident I end up being more cringe/weird so I end up secluded myself and longing for a life of solitude as to not having to deal with other people ever again.

poor op. tries to be confident but ends up being creepy. so he goes in the corner by himself and looks even more creepier. :(

*flops*

Bring drugs.

Don't be yourself

au_gold posted...

Bring drugs.

Gold Gold gets it.

I also find not being weird helps.

Likeable =! Life of the party. You just have to be a not-shitty, cordial, and respectful person to be liked. Crack a joke or two. Engage in banter. Share your interests.

how to respond properly to someone taking the time to make a thoughtful message to comfort you?

Be nice to people and show authentic interest in them and what they have to say, think, and share.

That is the best strategy I can offer.

I'm fairly popular, and the best explanation I've gotten is that people aren't afraid to show the parts of themself that they dislike around me. They're free to be their true selves because I'm so so much worse and it doesn't bother me. I'm told it's somehow charming in it's weird little way.

So...be a nonrepentant douchebag and you'll make friends somehow.

Jiek_Fafn posted...

I'm fairly popular, and the best explanation I've gotten is that people aren't afraid to show the parts of themself that they dislike around me. They're free to be their true selves because I'm so so much worse and it doesn't bother me. I'm told it's somehow charming in it's weird little way.

So...be a nonrepentant douchebag and you'll make friends somehow.

Lol

I wonder if that was my secret a few years ago... I seemed to better at making friends and being popular when I was chasing skirts. Now, I'm just some guy.

You ever read a book called "How to win Friends and Influence people"? Its a best seller for a reason and I recommend it.

Easiest way to connect is to find similarities between you and the other person and mind them or let them talk for a bit, see what they like and focus on that. Though most people like talking about themselves so there's that to

I try dating apps but it's always awkward. how exactly do you talk to someone online in a way that makes them want to meet up?

Make other people feel like they're the life of the party

You don't.

People suck and are gonna judge you no matter how you act. So fuck it.

Not everyone likes the life of the party

Sometimes the life of the party is just a loud idiot

furb posted...

Be nice to people and show authentic interest in them and what they have to say, think, and share.

That is the best strategy I can offer.

This is the correct answer.

Make EVERYTHING about the person you are talking to. Ask them questions and LISTEN - just don't wait for your turn to talk.

And (I know this from experiense) don't try and sharp-shoot them. If they say something incorrect - do NOT correct them. DON'T try to be the smartest person in the room. Treat everyone as if THEY are the smartest, most intersesting person you've ever met - NO MATTER WHAT THEY LIKE.

Example - if someone tells you they like "The Greatful Dead", don't say, "Jesus! What's WRONG with you? Those guys SUCK! Haven't you ever heard of GOOD music" Say instead, "Huh! That's very
interesting! What are your favorite albums/shows?".
And like that.
Next thing you know, you're a "great listener", and, thereby, a "cool person".

The answer is this: you either are or aren't.

I'd suggest just feeling it out, and seeing how you mesh with others. I'm more on the introverted side, so being LotP isn't my jam. In fact, I can only handle being in a large group of people for about 30 minutes to an hour. It drains my energy up.

Don't become something you're not, just to impress or gain the favor of other people. Find a mission in life, and that energy will bleed through to everyone you meet. Once you stop caring about being liked, and find a goal that matters, is when suddenly people start taking an interest.

au_gold posted...

Bring drugs.

Or do them with people when they offer.

sometimes it feels like there's a lot of rejection to go through until you get it right and there's just certain personality types you will always struggle with

Beveren_Rabbit posted...

sometimes it feels like there's a lot of rejection to go through until you get it right and there's just certain personality times you will always struggle with

Everyone who is socially successful has had their share of rejection.

They just shrug it off and keep going.

That's the trick of it. There's no magic way of avoiding rejection, bar the obvious.

will there always be a personalty type even the most charismatic person can't get along with?

Beveren_Rabbit posted...

will there always be a personalty type even the most charismatic person can't get along with?

My buddy dated a girl with a really similar personality to me. We fucking hated eachother.

How are you supposed to describe yourself without mentioning your job, hobbies and education? some people get really uppity when they want to know who you are as a person, but you start talking about your job/education first.

Likable people are written to be that way.