Current Events > Serious question: when is it time to give up on a dream?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Or more specifically when should you come to terms that you're not actually chasing it and just stop telling yourself it's something you want?

give up your dreams immediately. yet never give up your dreams

If you're not even taking steps to attempt it, give up.
Or start those first then see.

If you've invested no effort or money into it, I wouldn't even call it a dream.

When you wake up.

Seriously you just have to weigh the logical probability of it actually happening. Is it realistic and are you working your way towards it?

If my dream was a million dollars then it would be very unrealistic under my current financial situation.

I really want to get into race driving but I feel like the path is difficult to get onto without trying to make it a lifestyle rather than an interest.

Solid_Sonic posted...

but I feel like the path is difficult to get onto without trying to make it a lifestyle rather than an interest.

Well if you just want to do it for shits n giggles, just get a decent racing sim setup.
If you have the disposable income to just get into racing as a hobby, literally just do it. If you don't, then it's not going to happen, it's expensive and requires a shit load of dedication.
To get into it without turning it into a lifestyle without the raw cash to dump, isn't realistically possible.

Its all about tempering expectations and being realistic without being overly pessimistic.

The people who tell you that you can do anything you set your mind to are full of shit. We all have limitations and some of those limitations are impossible to overcome, even with work.

However, you can definitely achieve things. It just depends how outlandish they are. If you want something you might have to be prepared to make sacrifices.

For years, I wanted to be a published author.
I am one now but the reality is that it takes a lot of work to get your first work published and most authors dont make enough from it to live on. So I had to do it alongside my actual job. It was hard. I did what I set out to do because my aim was achievable. If you set out to get incredibly wealthy by writing books, youve got basically no shot.

Obviously thats a specific example but theres loads of situations where people get ahead of themselves. I once knew a guy who was convinced he was going to be an Olympian in his chosen sport. He was struggling at county level. His mind was so far into a hypothetical future that he wasnt working on the present.

Glob posted...

Its all about tempering expectations and being realistic without being overly pessimistic.

The people who tell you that you can do anything you set your mind to are full of shit. We all have limitations and some of those limitations are impossible to overcome, even with work.

However, you can definitely achieve things. It just depends how outlandish they are. If you want something you might have to be prepared to make sacrifices.

For years, I wanted to be a published author.
I am one now but the reality is that it takes a lot of work to get your first work published and most authors dont make enough from it to live on. So I had to do it alongside my actual job. It was hard. I did what I set out to do because my aim was achievable. If you set out to get incredibly wealthy by writing books, youve got basically no shot.

Obviously thats a specific example but theres loads of situations where people get ahead of themselves. I once knew a guy who was convinced he was going to be an Olympian in his chosen sport. He was struggling at county level. His mind was so far into a hypothetical future that he wasnt working on the present.

We had the same dream re the author thing. Good on you for getting published

I remember topping my creative writing classes at university, thinking I'd found something I'm actually good at (and that's a small list) but after submitting my highly graded stories into competitions and not getting anywhere I more or less gave up. That was 10 years ago.

It was easy to be motivated too when I had a teacher(who'd been published himself) marking and critically analysing my writing, my friends who I convinced to read my work had just layman opinions which wasn't really that impactful so I stopped writing even recreationaly. Like putting time into writing something that potentially nobody would read other than a quick skim through is a bit.. daunting? If that makes sense

How long til you got published? And what steps did you take?

haloiscoolisbak posted...

We had the same dream re the author thing. Good on you for getting published

I remember topping my creative writing classes at university, thinking I'd found something I'm actually good at (and that's a small list) but after submitting my highly graded stories into competitions and not getting anywhere I more or less gave up. That was 10 years ago.

It was easy to be motivated too when I had a teacher(who'd been published himself) marking and critically analysing my writing, my friends who I convinced to read my work had just layman opinions which wasn't really that impactful so I stopped writing even recreationaly. Like putting time into writing something that potentially nobody would read other than a quick skim through is a bit.. daunting? If that makes sense

How long til you got published? And what steps did you take?

The first thing Id always recommend is to the get the relevant writers and artists yearbook. From there, you can start to tweak your approach, targeting publishers and agents that are actually likely to at least look at your work.

I went through an agent rather than directly to a publisher, as a good agent can get you a foot in the door at places that simply dont accept unsolicited manuscripts.

From finishing a first draft of my first novel to publication took just over two years. Ive been told thats faster than most, but it felt like there were a lot of knockbacks along the way.

28

when the rain washes you clean you'll know
you will know
wo wo wo you'll know

Solid_Sonic posted...

I really want to get into race driving but I feel like the path is difficult to get onto without trying to make it a lifestyle rather than an interest.

Go to the local drag strip and give it a try.

Well circuit racing. That isn't really "driving", just keeping the car from flying off the strip.

When it becomes detrimental to your growth or well being.

You gotta start somewhere.

Going to even a drag strip would give you the chance to get involved with people who have an interest in racing and build connections and get ideas of what to do next. Or go karting?

I was thinking of trying to go to a racing school at a speedway but the closest one I could find is down at Sebring, which is a ways away.

Karting is a good start, though, I know of places not far from here that do top-fuel karting.

Glob posted...

The first thing Id always recommend is to the get the relevant writers and artists yearbook. From there, you can start to tweak your approach, targeting publishers and agents that are actually likely to at least look at your work.

I went through an agent rather than directly to a publisher, as a good agent can get you a foot in the door at places that simply dont accept unsolicited manuscripts.

From finishing a first draft of my first novel to publication took just over two years. Ive been told thats faster than most, but it felt like there were a lot of knockbacks along the way.

I'll admit, I want to publish my writing but I'm pretty sure at this point I don't want to go down the route of going through an actual publisher. I'm not in it for the money or the accolades or for people to even like my work. I write as a necessity to let my creativity out, instead of bottling it up until I explode.

I started looking at query letters, agents, and publishers and all that jazz, but the more I dug into it, I realized I don't think I want to do that. All of that is focused on trying to sell the book to an audience, to make money, to get a fanbase, to get recognition, etc. I don't care about any of that. I'm fine with having one fan or one million fans, as long as the work written is my own, not something crafted, modified, and pushed out by a committee of agents, editors, reviewers, illustrators, photographers, etc. As I'd read editor, agent, publisher, etc. comments on other people's works and how they were trying to push something to be marketable, it made me realize that self-publishing is probably more the route for me, rather than traditional publishing. Like, one of the common questions in my research I see asked by the agents, publishers, etc. is "who is your target audience?" My answer is always "me" (and by extension, people like me). I'm not targeting anyone specifically. I'm not targeting a specific genre. I just don't think my writing and I fit well into the traditional publishing model.

WTGHookshot posted...

I'll admit, I want to publish my writing but I'm pretty sure at this point I don't want to go down the route of going through an actual publisher. I'm not in it for the money or the accolades or for people to even like my work. I write as a necessity to let my creativity out, instead of bottling it up until I explode.

I started looking at query letters, agents, and publishers and all that jazz, but the more I dug into it, I realized I don't think I want to do that. All of that is focused on trying to sell the book to an audience, to make money, to get a fanbase, to get recognition, etc. I don't care about any of that. I'm fine with having one fan or one million fans, as long as the work written is my own, not something crafted, modified, and pushed out by a committee of agents, editors, reviewers, illustrators, photographers, etc. As I'd read editor, agent, publisher, etc. comments on other people's works and how they were trying to push something to be marketable, it made me realize that self-publishing is probably more the route for me, rather than traditional publishing. Like, one of the common questions in my research I see asked by the agents, publishers, etc. is "who is your target audience?" My answer is always "me" (and by extension, people like me). I'm not targeting anyone specifically. I'm not targeting a specific genre. I just don't think my writing and I fit well into the traditional publishing model.

Self-publishing is really just a case of stumping up the money. From the sound of it, youre essentially looking for vanity publishers. Theres plenty of those out there.

I'll race you to the washroom

Once you hit the first obstacle.

Never. Not ever.

Depends what (and how realistic) the dream is...

Glob posted...

Self-publishing is really just a case of stumping up the money. From the sound of it, youre essentially looking for vanity publishers. Theres plenty of those out there.

That's why I'm saving up (for self-publishing).

Not really looking for vanity publishers as I want to retain control of the copyright, the editorial process, and the publishing process, including marketing and distribution, personally.

Never fully.

I still type my ideas for a video game on my laptop despite for years not knowing to draw or code.

Doesn't stop me.

WTGHookshot posted...

That's why I'm saving up (for self-publishing).

Not really looking for vanity publishers as I want to retain control of the copyright, the editorial process, and the publishing process, including marketing and distribution, personally.

That does sound like vanity publishing to me. Theyll let you publish anything on your own dime and then offer you no support for marketing and distribution afterwards.

Glob posted...

That does sound like vanity publishing to me. Theyll let you publish anything on your own dime and then offer you no support for marketing and distribution afterwards.

If my research into vanity publishing vs. self-publishing is correct, then vanity publishers:
-usually keep the copyright and such.
-can also sometimes have creative control on things like the covers (or not offer any type of service regarding it and just force you with something that is stock).
-tend to be more expensive than self-publishing because they make their profit from the author, not the sales of the books.
-tend to control the price, not the author.

That's why I want to go the self-publishing route: I'm in full control.

i think i only have one dream that takes many forms lol

A dream should be put the sword upon its conception. If you want power, don't fantasize about it. Take it by force, crush anyone who stands in your way.

never give up
never ever give up

never ever never never ever give up

never ever never never ever never ever never never ever never ever never never ever never ever never never ever never ever never never ever give up