Current Events > Legit question is this a sign of something deep?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Whenever I'm alone with no stimuli holding my attention I start feeling really awful, like I'm sick or want to cry and start having these weird little behavior and actions like reaching my hand out as if trying to grab something that isn't there or wanting someone to grab me, I start breathing heavier, start mentally panicking as my mind just starts flashing phrases like "Help me", "Save me", "I'm sorry", ""Stop" and a bunch of jumbled incomplete thoughts until just as suddenly as it started it ends, I wipe the half tears out of my eyes and as if to escape, I either put on a game, come here, or in extreme cases hurt myself by either slapping my face as hard as I can or pinch my skin.

You should probably chat with a professional about it, sounds like you have some things to work through.

Sounds like a re-occuring daymare to me.

Depression/anxiety/ADHD

Assuming this isn't some weird troll post, seriously talk to a therapist/psychiatrist/ologist.
If this is some weird troll post, that would be an extremely shitty thing to do and you should feel like a piece of shit.

FolkenRawr posted...

Assuming this isn't some weird troll post, seriously talk to a therapist/psychiatrist/ologist.

YourBestFrenemy posted...

You should probably chat with a professional about it, sounds like you have some things to work through.

People keep saying this but I'm too afraid to do it, I don't want to be committed, I don't want to be ostreizied from people even more than I already am, I don't want to gain more debt I can't pay for. and not this isn't fucking fake, I JUST experiecned one of these yet again and need to fucking vent, my own emotions are running wild and I don't know what to do about it that won't destroy what little normalcy of a life I have!

as someone who took near 25 years to talk to a professional about anything, you will be thankful to yourself when you finally (hopefully) do so.

theyre not there to ostracize you or do anything other than help you understand yourself

in the meantime all I can say is that mindful meditation, daily, and breathing exercises all throughout the day changes my life

Despised posted...

in the meantime all I can say is that mindful meditation, daily, and breathing exercises all throughout the day changes my life

I might be able to do the meditation thing before work but not throughout the shift, they get mad if they see you doing anything not your assigned task.

tremain07 posted...

People keep saying this but I'm too afraid to do it, I don't want to be committed, I don't want to be ostreizied from people even more than I already am, I don't want to gain more debt I can't pay for. and not this isn't fucking fake, I JUST experiecned one of these yet again and need to fucking vent, my own emotions are running wild and I don't know what to do about it that won't destroy what little normalcy of a life I have!

Dude, (mental) Healthcare is much more normalized this days. I guarantee you know a lot of people on some type of medication due to mental health issues.
Nothing about what you said seems like you should be 'committed'. And on that subject - again, normalized to a point. Being 'committed' isn't like you're being sent to Arkham Asylum. It's just a hospital where you receive a bit of observation and do some group and individual therapy to learn coping skills and methods.

FolkenRawr posted...

Dude, (mental) Healthcare is much more normalized this days. I guarantee you know a lot of people on some type of medication due to mental health issues.
Nothing about what you said seems like you should be 'committed'. And on that subject - again, normalized to a point. Being 'committed' isn't like you're being sent to Arkham Asylum. It's just a hospital where you receive a bit of observation and do some group and individual therapy to learn coping skills and methods.

I live in Texas, a state ranked near the bottom in mental health acceptance and treatment I'm sure in a blue state what you say is true but where I am it's little short of a death sentence to admit you have mental problems.

I wish I could talk/ vent about this more but now I have to throw myself into sleep for work tomorrow, I just hope I don't have another one of those void nightmares. You know, they kind where you aare alone in either a bright place or a dark place, you can't feel, you can't hear, you can't see, and just when you think you're about to go insane you wake up and it's like 2 am or something. night guys.

tremain07 posted...

People keep saying this but I'm too afraid to do it, I don't want to be committed, I don't want to be ostreizied from people even more than I already am, I don't want to gain more debt I can't pay for. and not this isn't fucking fake, I JUST experiecned one of these yet again and need to fucking vent, my own emotions are running wild and I don't know what to do about it that won't destroy what little normalcy of a life I have!

Call 988. You don't have to be suicidal to talk to someone for free. If you're in distress, they'll chat with you, and it's anonymous.

tremain07 posted...

I might be able to do the meditation thing before work but not throughout the shift, they get mad if they see you doing anything not your assigned task.

meditation in the morning and before bed, some people like a guided meditation audio, some prefer noises or ohm sounds and stuff I would look up how to get into mindful meditation so you can at least know what to aim for or try in a session, maybe try a guided one on youtube

and once/if you learn and like that, you can adapt that into just small breathing exercises to calm your thoughts throughout the day while you do anything, if my thoughts start to race or go bad in my day I just focus on my breathing and thoughts to get rid of it

it all sounded weird to me at first but Ive been doing it for years now and its a game changer.

nothing beats having a professional to talk to and give you insight into yourself though

@tremain07 Feeling any better today?

I'm at work right now on my break. I don't feel what I felt before but we'll see once I'm off work and at home.

idk but a large hole is also a sign of something deep

tremain07 posted...

I'm at work right now on my break. I don't feel what I felt before but we'll see once I'm off work and at home.

Hope it's a better day for you.

When I got home I called the hospital and explained this to my care team and they said they're side effects of my medications and as such unless I'm feeling bad enough and think I'm going to do harm to myself It's best to just wait for the feelings to pass over.

tremain07 posted...

When I got home I called the hospital and explained this to my care team and they said they're side effects of my medications and as such unless I'm feeling bad enough and think I'm going to do harm to myself It's best to just wait for the feelings to pass over.

At least you know what's happening then, that always helps.
What do you do to put yourself in a good headspace when things are rough?

Yeah, don't worry about being "hospitalized" when it comes to mental health. The only time that will basically happen is if you are unable to care for yourself entirely, are a danger to others, or need to be on suicide watch. The last thing most doctors want to do is put more people into what are already very strained mental health facilities.

As for the incidents you're describing, it's certainly a fairly common type of experience. It sounds like a panic attack on the surface--Disorientation, nausea/unwellness, heavy breathing/heart racing, panic, feeling of detachment. It can very much feel like "going crazy", as I know from personal experience. My recommendations are:

1. Control your breathing. This isn't going to solve the problem but the last thing you need is to start hyperventilating. Nice controlled deep breaths.
2. Do not fixate on the sensations. This sounds like an almost impossible task and it kind of is, but it's necessary in order to start the coming down process. Do not perpetuate the weird thoughts you might have. Don't try to focus on them like you'll get some sort of clarity from it. You won't. :')
3. Find something around you to focus on if you can. A podcast, music, a TV show, a game, a conversation nearby, ect. Your brain will just run itself into a rut focusing on these bizarre negative feelings and the best way to counter that is to redirect your focus with something that's moderately stimulating.
4. I sometimes will talk to myself "over" the thoughts and voices I'm hearing with positive affirmations. "It's gonna be okay", "It's gonna be over soon", "This isn't real, it will pass", "Just focus on relaxing", whatever. There's a limit to how many thoughts your brain can think about consciously, yeah? So just putting effort into focusing on benign yet positive statements helps to avoid the weird or disturbing thoughts from getting in.

Sometimes these things go away after a while and sometimes they stick around. That's normal either way. Don't get discouraged if you're not able to implement these practices immediately or if they don't help, it took me a lot of practice and experience to become comfortable dealing with panic attacks. You don't need to treat them like some kind of psychological breakdown, though--Your brain chemistry is just getting a bit fucky wucky and once your body processes it's hormones you'll be back to normal. Some long-term things that might help:

1. Good sleep. If you are getting shitty sleep then you'll probably continue having episodes. That's just being frank. You need sleep in order for your brain's chemistry to stay balanced.
2. Meditation or other relaxation exercises.
3. Working out. This will help flush your body with good endorphins that can help keep your brain balanced (And also help you sleep at night!)
4. Medication. If the episodes persist frequently and they start to interfere with your daily life then there are great drugs nowadays for getting help with resisting them. I would advise to ask for more modern prescriptions like Escitalopram rather than the unfortunately more common Paxil.

All things being equal, if these experiences are coming and going pretty quickly then you're not in the worst boat. My wife has panic attacks that can last for over an hour. It's fucking exhausting.

What meds are you taking that your doctors think might be causing this?

tremain07 posted...

When I got home I called the hospital and explained this to my care team and they said they're side effects of my medications and as such unless I'm feeling bad enough and think I'm going to do harm to myself It's best to just wait for the feelings to pass over.

What meds? (Not required to share if it's too personal)

TaylorHeinicke posted...

What meds? (Not required to share if it's too personal)

prednisolone
Carvedilol
Pravastatin

All three have side effects like a, depression, mood swings and anxiety

could be anxiety and depression.

I kinda get the same when im bored. Your mind starts to wander and the anxiety and depression can start a spiral.

You should talk to someone. Depersonalization and shit sucks if you dont know what it is

tremain07 posted...

When I got home I called the hospital and explained this to my care team and they said they're side effects of my medications and as such unless I'm feeling bad enough and think I'm going to do harm to myself It's best to just wait for the feelings to pass over.

Your care team is knowledgeable on the medical side, but they might not be as on top of things from a psych perspective unless there is a member who focuses on that exclusively.

I'd recommend some form of outside mental health counseling if it's at all possible.

Your brain is the tool you use to measure reality and your brain is "miscalibrated" right now. It's changing how you observe and measure your world just as thoroughly as an imbalanced scale changes a chemistry experiment.

Yeah, I'm going to the hospital anyway on Friday for a Dermatology appointment might swing by the other office in hopes or a bit more elaboration. i really do wish I could take a week long vacation from work but I need the money to not only buy my medication but also have some stuff saved for when I need to help out family, I don't get to do that often and they're always helping me so I like being able to return that help when I can.

FolkenRawr posted...

Depression/anxiety/ADHD

Yeah, adult ADHD sucks ass.

Find a psychiatrist that is covered by your insurance. They'll try to put you on medication that your insurance can also cover. They'll probably also ask if you want to try behavioral therapy.