Poll of the Day > Some versions of the David and Goliath story are dumb...

(+) Yeah! (+)

One version David simply outfought Goliath with godly intervention and it was a big heroic moment...

Other versions David used a sling; in a duel. That's like bringing a gun to a knife fight... DISQUALIFICATION!!!!!!!!!

Lokarin posted...

Other versions David used a sling; in a duel. That's like bringing a gun to a knife fight... DISQUALIFICATION!!!!!!!!!

My favorite version of this was that David was a soldier trained in the sling, and Goliath was of ill health due to the same condition that made him so tall in the first place. Whether or not it was a single shot? Well, stories have been known to exaggerate details, and make someone more glorious than they truly were; victors and history and whatnot.

I've only ever heard the sling story, I was unaware of a different version?

David was kind of a dick TBH

Metalsonic66 posted...

David was kind of a dick TBH

2 Samuel 11

1 In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war, David sent Joab out with the kings men and the whole Israelite army. They destroyed the Ammonites and besieged Rabbah. But David remained in Jerusalem.2 One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful, 3 and David sent someone to find out about her. The man said, She is Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite. 4 Then David sent messengers to get her. She came to him, and he slept with her. (Now she was purifying herself from her monthly uncleanness.) Then she went back home. 5 The woman conceived and sent word to David, saying, I am pregnant.
6 So David sent this word to Joab: Send me Uriah the Hittite. And Joab sent him to David. 7 When Uriah came to him, David asked him how Joab was, how the soldiers were and how the war was going. 8 Then David said to Uriah, Go down to your house and wash your feet. So Uriah left the palace, and a gift from the king was sent after him. 9 But Uriah slept at the entrance to the palace with all his masters servants and did not go down to his house.
10 David was told, Uriah did not go home. So he asked Uriah, Havent you just come from a military campaign? Why didnt you go home?
11 Uriah said to David, The ark and Israel and Judah are staying in tents, and my commander Joab and my lords men are camped in the open country. How could I go to my house to eat and drink and make love to my wife? As surely as you live, I will not do such a thing!
12 Then David said to him, Stay here one more day, and tomorrow I will send you back. So Uriah remained in Jerusalem that day and the next. 13 At Davids invitation, he ate and drank with him, and David made him drunk. But in the evening Uriah went out to sleep on his mat among his masters servants; he did not go home.
14 In the morning David wrote a letter to Joab and sent it with Uriah. 15 In it he wrote, Put Uriah out in front where the fighting is fiercest. Then withdraw from him so he will be struck down and die.
16 So while Joab had the city under siege, he put Uriah at a place where he knew the strongest defenders were. 17 When the men of the city came out and fought against Joab, some of the men in Davids army fell; moreover, Uriah the Hittite died.
18 Joab sent David a full account of the battle. 19 He instructed the messenger: When you have finished giving the king this account of the battle, 20 the kings anger may flare up, and he may ask you, Why did you get so close to the city to fight? Didnt you know they would shoot arrows from the wall? 21 Who killed Abimelek son of Jerub-Besheth? Didnt a woman drop an upper millstone on him from the wall, so that he died in Thebez? Why did you get so close to the wall? If he asks you this, then say to him, Moreover, your servant Uriah the Hittite is dead.
22 The messenger set out, and when he arrived he told David everything Joab had sent him to say. 23 The messenger said to David, The men overpowered us and came out against us in the open, but we drove them back to the entrance of the city gate. 24 Then the archers shot arrows at your servants from the wall, and some of the kings men died. Moreover, your servant Uriah the Hittite is dead.
25 David told the messenger, Say this to Joab: Dont let this upset you; the sword devours one as well as another. Press the attack against the city and destroy it. Say this to encourage Joab.
26 When Uriahs wife heard that her husband was dead, she mourned for him. 27 After the time of mourning was over, David had her brought to his house, and she became his wife and bore him a son. But the thing David had done displeased the Lord.

tl;dr: David saw Bathsheba taking a bath, slept with her and got her pregnant. Then he had her husband killed so he could marry her.

There was a lotta rocks being thrown back then.

Wasn't Goliath only supposed to be like 6 feet but seemed huge because everyone was tiny back then

Zareth posted...

Wasn't Goliath only supposed to be like 6 feet but seemed huge because everyone was tiny back then

No idea. It was either vastly exaggerated, or maybe the guy had gigantism like Andre'? Or maybe David was just really short?