Current Events > Roommate has had someone staying with us almost two weeks.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Is this acceptable or am I crazy? My brother and I have a two bedroom. He asked me if his friend could stay for Easter weekend. I said fine. Then he said he was going to take him to visits his kids(dude has four kids with four different women) then he would be going back to AZ. That was last weekend. This mfer is still here.

Im about to go off on my brother. This shit is not cool. Am I in the wrong? I dont even feel like I can relax and be at ease in my own home.

Yeah 2 weeks is a pretty extended stay when the original agreement was just a weekend

not sure what to do about it though

Be like: bro... i thought the guest was staying just for easter holiday. How long will he be staying?

If this was a roommate, id be like, yo... easter is done. Why your guest here?

Brothers though get extra time since id know my brother throughout my life. A roommate i was able to find & live with renting the same place doesnt have that luxury

You might want to get on it. Depending on your state more than a few weeks and he can claim to be a tenant. Meaning you will have to go through legal proceedings to get him out.

Is he chipping in for rent?

Jiek_Fafn posted...

Is he chipping in for rent?

No. He has no money. I literally had to go get him Taco Bell the other day.

Fuck that kick him out before it becomes a squatters rights issue.

Also @MrDrMan I wonder if you remember like 15 years ago sonning the fuck out of one of my old accounts? I made a topic about just got laid 5 minutes ago or something to that effect, you had post #2 with No you didnt and CE thought it was so funny they clowned on me for 498 more posts. Good times.

MrDrMan posted...

No. He has no money. I literally had to go get him Taco Bell the other day.

Well technically you didn't have to get him anything. He's not your guest but your brothers. This guy has overstayed his welcome. He's probably still there because he has no money. Tell your brother to get him to go.

bigtiggie23 posted...

You might want to get on it. Depending on your state more than a few weeks and he can claim to be a tenant. Meaning you will have to go through legal proceedings to get him out.

It might also be a violation of your lease. At my apartment, it's technically against the rules to have anyone stay for something like twenty-one continuous days. They actually will terminate my lease and rewrite it with the new occupant included at that point.

This sort of shit is why I could never go back to having housemates.

Yeah get on that shit ASAP. Your landlord/property manager don't care who the extra body is - they'll kick you the fuck out along with your brother and his hobo friend.

CountDrugula posted...

Fuck that kick him out before it becomes a squatters rights issue.

Also @MrDrMan I wonder if you remember like 15 years ago sonning the fuck out of one of my old accounts? I made a topic about just got laid 5 minutes ago or something to that effect, you had post #2 with No you didnt and CE thought it was so funny they clowned on me for 498 more posts. Good times.

lmao
15 year grudge for some do small. My god, bro...

_Rinku_ posted...

It might also be a violation of your lease. At my apartment, it's technically against the rules to have anyone stay for something like twenty-one continuous days

this. same clause. have to follow the rules and can get kicked out if smoke in the apartment.

I wouldnt call it a grudge, hes having a laugh about it

Did you hit it yet?

GeraldDarko posted...

lmao
15 year grudge for some do small. My god, bro...

Stoled my goats

@CountDrugula

Fuck that kick him out before it becomes a squatters rights issue.

Also @MrDrMan I wonder if you remember like 15 years ago sonning the fuck out of one of my old accounts? I made a topic about just got laid 5 minutes ago or something to that effect, you had post #2 with No you didnt and CE thought it was so funny they clowned on me for 498 more posts. Good times.

lmao I do not remember at all. I guess this is my karma for that. Sorry about that bro. Didnt mean to release the hounds on you.

_Rinku_ posted...

It might also be a violation of your lease. At my apartment, it's technically against the rules to have anyone stay for something like twenty-one continuous days. They actually will terminate my lease and rewrite it with the new occupant included at that point.

My apartment it's two weeks. After that they get added to the lease and the rent goes up.

Nirvanas_Nox posted...

Well technically you didn't have to get him anything. He's not your guest but your brothers. This guy has overstayed his welcome. He's probably still there because he has no money. Tell your brother to get him to go.

I didnt have to but Im not the type to just say no to stuff like that. I accommodate repeatedly until I hit my breaking point and explode. Its a toxic trait Im not gonna lie.

My brother isnt even here most of the time. I dont know what hes doing but most days hes gone 90% of the day leaving this dude here alone or with me.

_Rinku_ posted...

It might also be a violation of your lease. At my apartment, it's technically against the rules to have anyone stay for something like twenty-one continuous days. They actually will terminate my lease and rewrite it with the new occupant included at that point.

bigtiggie23 posted...

My apartment it's two weeks. After that they get added to the lease and the rent goes up.

I actually did not know this was a thing. Thanks for the info. I thought you could have someone crash indefinitely if you wanted to. I dont want to though.

MrDrMan posted...

I didnt have to but Im not the type to just say no to stuff like that. I accommodate repeatedly until I hit my breaking point and explore. Its a toxic trait Im not gonna lie.

My brother isnt even here most of the time. I dont know what hes doing but most days hes gone 90% of the day leaving this dude here alone or with me.

Don't get me wrong I'm the same way but I'd have made him eat something in the house. If your brother isn't even there then it's up you to kick him out. Your brother isn't even being a good host. You pay rent and the friend doesn't so your place your rules. Kick his mooching ass out

Nirvanas_Nox posted...

Don't get me wrong I'm the same way but I'd have made him eat something in the house. If your brother isn't even there then it's up you to kick him out. Your brother isn't even being a good host. You pay rent and the friend doesn't so your place your rules. Kick his mooching ass out

This dude is a full grown man child. Honestly got it just so he would leave me alone. Shouldnt be that way but it is what it is.

Ok thank you saying this because I thought it was crazy. This mfer tried to tell me you have to adjust when youre living with somebody bro. I told him Im not living with anyone. This is my place. My name is primary on the lease, I pay our power bill every month, I pay the renters insurance, 75% of the stuff in here is mine. Not saying its not my brothers place too but he made it sound like this a community center or something.

Im annoyed with the guy but really its my brother. He is the one allowing it and he knows Im not cool with it so hes dodging me.

Dont go off, but you are definitely in the right to ask whats going on.

yeah, just have a convo with your brother about it and Im sure yall will sort it out. definitely not cool of your brother to not mention this dude was going to stay longer than intended, especially if it makes you uncomfortable.

Yeah that's definitely going to become a whole ordeal if the property owner finds out an additional person has been living in the house for an extended period of time.

Honestly, in any roommate situation where one of the roommates have guests stay over, it's good to get an upfront idea of how long that will be. And if that guest has stayed longer than that, it's an absolutely fair to ask what is happening.

It sounds like you did a good job of establishing the initial duration. The guest has extended the stay beyond that. You are absolutely in the right to ask what is going on and discuss how it is going to be addressed.

Yeah just keep it civil with your brother.

TaylorHeinicke posted...

Yeah just keep it civil with your brother.

Ive been trying to but being civil isnt getting me anywhere. They say one thing and then just do another. Apparently this dude has some situation going in AZ that he doesnt feel safe out there. I dont know what the deal is and to be honest I dont care. Theyre treating my place like a frat house.

My birthdays coming up on Monday and I planned on having my girlfriend over at least one night just us. Cant even do that.

MrDrMan posted...

Ive been trying to but being civil isnt getting me anywhere. They say one thing and then just do another. Apparently this dude has some situation going in AZ that he doesnt feel safe out there. I dont know what the deal is and to be honest I dont care. Theyre treating my place like a frat house.

My birthdays coming up on Monday and I planned on having my girlfriend over at least one night just us. Cant even do that.

Then you gotta evaluate what comes next. From his perspective, he knows any other moves you make (notifying the landlord, calling the cops, etc.) would only serve to hurt you as well (because rent would go up or the lease would be broken).

Who makes the rent payments? Does he cut you a check every month and you pay, or do you cut him a check every month and he pays? If it's the latter, tell him your next check is only going to be for 33%. If it's the former, tell him the next check will need to be for 66%.

It's not a great option, but there isn't much else that can be done without putting yourself at risk too. It's a shitty thing for him to be doing.

Yeah you might need to get more forceful. That doesn't mean uncivil or impolite, but it you absolutely have the right to demand answers, a clean living space and reasonable privacy.

If this dude is going to keep living there he needs to pay rent/utilities, take on household duties like cleaning and what not. And if he can't won't, your brother needs to being paying his guests share of the rent/utilities and picking up after his guest.

And if you want the place to yourself for a night, which is reasonable, tell them both to get the fuck out for awhile. That's fair.

MrDrMan posted...

I actually did not know this was a thing. Thanks for the info. I thought you could have someone crash indefinitely if you wanted to. I dont want to though.

It's one of those things that is common in the language of the lease, but enforcement can vary pretty wildly.

I lived in an absolute shithole of an apartment in college. Solid concrete walls. Slumlord manager who treated the (primarily section 8) residents like garbage. Drug deals in the parking lot. No insulation so it would be sweltering in the summer and freezing at Christmas. My windows were busted so I could hear street level arguments from the fourth floor.

My (at the time) girlfriend moved in with me. I never officially added her to the lease, but the management was fully aware that she lived there and treated her like a tenant for the rest of the time we lived there. No issues whatsoever.

We moved to another (much nicer/more expensive) apartment and it was completely different. They sent out notices for smells, noise, garbage, etc. and watched everyone like hawks. We were letting a friend crash with us for about a month at one point because he had nowhere else to go and I was stressed that the management would find out.

My current apartment has similar rules, but I'd have to check the exact length of time.

A grown ass adult who has kids asking if they can crash for a few days should be a huge red flag. They're never leaving lol

i would be like son if he is staying half a month he chipping in on food and rent or fucking off

Thud posted...

A grown ass adult who has kids asking if they can crash for a few days should be a huge red flag. They're never leaving lol

Honestly I feel bad hes got shit going on but Ive got my own shit to deal with.

Update

Yeah you need to get him out right now before youre stuck with a squatter. I wouldnt give him a key.

also it might violate your lease to have someone stay long term. If I have anyone stay more than 20 days in a row in one month the rent goes up

MrDrMan posted...

No. He has no money. I literally had to go get him Taco Bell the other day.

It's your brothers guest and you're buying him food? The fuck?

For 1, if it's your brother's guest it's on him to feed him, and 2, if he doesn't have money to eat, what the fuck is he doing traveling anywhere?

TaylorHeinicke posted...

Update

No update really. Hes still here. The only bright side to this is our lease was already up. We went month to month last month. I applied at another apartment and Ill be out by May 20th. My move in date is set for 4/30 so possibly earlier.

Im not gonna stress about it anymore. Just gonna get my own place and my brother can deal with it himself.

mybbqrules posted...

It's your brothers guest and you're buying him food? The fuck?

For 1, if it's your brother's guest it's on him to feed him, and 2, if he doesn't have money to eat, what the fuck is he doing traveling anywhere?

Thats what Im saying. This whole thing is weird af. Its whatever Im getting out of here before my brother and I have a real falling out.

MrDrMan posted...

The only bright side to this is our lease was already up. We went month to month last month. I applied at another apartment and Ill be out by May 20th. My move in date is set for 4/30 so possibly earlier.

Oh shit congrats blud.

Yeah at this point it's not worth fighting over. Nothing more freeing knowing you get to fuck off. Whether it's moving or changing jobs or whatever, that window of no expectations or cares is the absolute best.

Good luck on the move player