Board 8 > Today was one of the worst day of my adult life, need a big change. B8, what do

(+) Yeah! (+)

Tl;dr, Im 5 hours from home and my car broke down, and also a dream offer Ive been preparing to move countries for over the last 9 months was suddenly rescinded for no reason except discrimination against my son.

The stress and rage and I feel, combined with general dissatisfaction with my job stemming from a company buyout, and I need to make a drastic change with my life.

What kind of big changes have you made to get out of a bad spot, and how can I do this without just...giving up on everything?

The worst day of your life so far.

(Sorry couldn't resist)

Anyway, don't give up. You got to have comforts in life you've always turned to. Go to those in the short term.

thats quite a situation

I can't give advice on your predicament but all I can say to you that:

no matter how low life put you down

you have come out on top every time and won

bad times: 0
You: infinite

keep your head up and stay strong my friend

Sorry to hear all this. Really hope things turn up for you.

Agree that in the short-term you just need to distract yourself with whatever works. For the long-term, keep searching for a different job. Easier said than done, but something will come up eventually, even if this one offer falling through sucks shit.

that sucks dude, I am sorry.

I'd recommend something you can do, even if it's turning your brain off and going through the motions. I've had friends just binge long shows all day and it seemed to help.

I had a couple rough weeks earlier this month, so I feel ya. Sorry you're going through all of this!

For the next week or so, don't bother trying to turn your life around. Just focus on getting through this. Eat foods you love, watch shows/movies you enjoy, play favorite games, listen to favorite music, and just try to relax. Take a day or two off from work if you need it. Just recharge your batteries and focus on getting your mind in a better place. Because in the state you're in right now, prospective employers are gonna know and you won't get anywhere.

THEN, after a week... well I wish I had an idea of what to do with your life, because I don't even have an answer for mine. I'm nearly broke and everything I've tried hasn't panned out. I'm afraid I can't help you there.

It sounds like you need a career change, preferably with a change of scenery. To summarize a much longer story I was typing out, pick a direction and go. It might not be optimal, but it'll be your decision on your own terms.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/8/2/6/AAGQPmAAEOta.jpg

Ok so I actually decided to pursue legal/speaking to the manager type avenues of relief, and its moving very fast.

I guess well see what happens.

Good luck! Keep us posted - hopefully they change their minds.

What country is that job in, by the way?

Japan.

It was a military move, and theres a process to make sure family needs are met, and a discrepancy in paperwork + their assumptions meant they think my son needs specific care he doesnt.

I sent a dozen messages and emails pointing out that the process was failing and we needed to clear this up, and they never responded until after they had already denied him.

If they already filled the spot, we may not be able to go to Japan anyway, but at the very least they can send us somewhere.

If it's a military move, pretty sure US law applies. Meaning this is illegal discrimination, unless it's a "I'm sorry, but the base in Japan does not have the adequate means to provide for your son." That kind of excuse needs to be true to be valid, of course, but...

If that were the case, they should give you the choice, so I don't think they followed protocol. Sucks you don't get to move to Japan, though, but hopefully they find somewhere. Keep fighting! Squeaky wheel gets the grease.

yep. don't let up on the fire, legally or energetically. that plus time is the way to move mountains.

it sounds like you have sufficient motivation and are in the right

i recommend that you preserve all records/documentation/communication, including everything you have already sent and described below:
ChaosTonyV4 posted...

I sent a dozen messages and emails pointing out that the process was failing and we needed to clear this up, and they never responded until after they had already denied him.

hopefully this is all resolved very swiftly, but sometimes things isn't. records are how you keep the truth obvious

I wrote almost 1500 words outlining the situation, and reading it laid out like a timeline made the issues (to me, at least) extremely obvious.

One of the wildest things is how after literal months of requests to speak with someone, they finally contacted my wife on the 22nd to setup a family interview(the exact phrase they used).

We showed up to the family interview on the 27th and during the first 30 seconds the facilitator said This meeting is not to overturn the results, but for you to have any questions answered.

The first question I asked, obviously, was Where are we in the process?, and come to find out they denied him on the 23rd!

You dont have to know anything about the process to know that doesnt make any sense. How is that a family interview? Thats not even an interview, thats a debrief. And why schedule it and then make a determination the next day? Obviously something went wrong there.

So to keep it short, he is in Special Needs classes.

The school has occupational and physical therapists on staff, and just because of how their program works, he sees them for extra help.

I spoke with the school, and he has no requirement to see them, and gets no specialized care, he just sees them because theyre available, why not, right?

Well, I had them remove it from his Individual Education Plan, a school created document saying what he needs at school, and it says While has not met the goals set by the therapist, because he has no specialized instruction requirements we have removed OT/PT from his IEP at parents request.

Keep in mind, I did this over 2 months ago, and his teachers say hes doing greatthere are literally zero issues.

Well his Summary of Needs (an Air Force created document) has OT and PT listed still. I legitimately did not have time to get it removed because of the deadline for submitting paperwork.

This is why I had been sending message after message asking to speak with them.

So at the family interview meeting, the discrepancy between the IEP and the Summary of Needs was the reason for denial.

That is literally something that could be resolved with a conversation, but they assumed the worst instead of just picking up a phone.

If your complaints are all about things that you had before that were taken away (working car, job, travel plans) then the solution is obviously to just get them back. If you got them once before there's no doubt you can get them again. If the change you need is something totally new or theoretical, then it can be a real problem.