Current Events > A man in a flannel shirt just told me that Guinness isn't a beer, it's a stout

(+) Yeah! (+)

Wild when you meet walking stereotypes, lol

Wouldn't he have to be dressed like a leprechaun in order for it to be a stereotype?

Thats when you hit him with the "Are you aware" copypasta, right to his face.

I hoped you asked him what a stout was after that.

you need a knife and a fork to drink guinness, so it's actually neither

Even malt liquor is beer. It's just not very hoppy, or even hopped at all.
Colt 45 changed the labeling from "malt liquor" to "classic American lager" decades ago.

Guinness is a brand, not a type of beer.

If you go to the Guinness brewery in Maryland, they literally have a few dozen taps of different beers, as they are constantly brewing new flavor mixes to test on their visitors. Only 2-3 of them are a "stout".

Stuff like that really makes your day and or makes you tired

All stouts are still beer, so even his pedantic shit is wrong.

The dumbassery of America's liquor laws means small beer can't viably exist here, and it's probably having a ripple effect on the rest of the world.

Flannel or Tarten...there is a difference.
My Black Watch is not just a flannel.

That is the issue in this thread.

Beer snobs are a special kind of asshole.

SiO4 posted...

Flannel or Tarten...there is a difference.
My Black Watch is not just a flannel.

That is the issue in this thread.

So now we have another guy in flannel arguing definitions, but about flannel.

>.>

DrizztLink posted...

So now we have another guy in flannel arguing definitions, but about flannel.

Tartans are much better than basic ass flannels.

What is a tartan

well-excuse-me posted...

What is a tartan

that shit you stuff Luke Skywalker in

well-excuse-me posted...

What is a tartan

A Scotch pattern that tells people what family you are from or what you are representing.
Black Watch is probably the most commonly recognized. Probably due to the Black Watch Regiment.

Oooook

Beer just refers to stuff like Budweiser or Coors much like Coke usually refers to dark colas

brestugo posted...

Beer snobs are a special kind of asshole.

i don't even know if this guy qualifies as a beer snob. it's like somebody just discovered there's beer outside of macros and thinks they know everything already.

well-excuse-me posted...

Oooook

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tartan

Supposedly there's some health benefits to drinking Guinness. Like red wine.

SiO4 posted...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tartan

Do you actually have a tartan from
your family or are you just claiming the cool ones like I've seen others do?

Also, my wife says that dumb stout shit. I always laugh and ask her what a stout is.

hyperskate65 posted...

Do you actually have a tartan from
your family or are you just claiming the cool ones like I've seen others do?

Also, my wife says that dumb stout shit. I always laugh and ask her what a stout is.

Yes, Black Watch.
Though I will wear other Tartans in scarf form.

I feel your pain, and I don't think a lot of people in this thread get it that stout structure is a huge thing and part of the experience and taste if you've ever experienced a SF/Mission style super stout and how it holds together to the very last sip and doesn't leak all over the place.

And, yeah, this is really close to that cliche of "Have you ever had the lagers in LA" or whatever but as a life long fan of the stout there's some complicated beer science going on here, so bear with me.

A long time ago I used to know a lager truck owned by some guys from Oakland operating in Belltown, and when I heard they were from Oakland I asked if they could do a legit super stout.

They said they wish they could, but sadly could not, but explained why. And they otherwise did a really nice stout but it still wasn't the same and we both knew it.

The reason why is because they couldn't source the oversized and extra thin and stretchy hops used for a really good stout, and that they also couldn't get the massive hops steamer/stretcher presses they use down there to prep the hops for glassing and filling.

A lot of those steamer/stretcher/press units at famous SF stout joints like El Faro, El Cancun and related are custom fabrication jobs and you can't just go buy one from from a restaurant equipment supply store because they're a specialty item.

And even if they had one and they could fit it in their truck they couldn't reliably source the really massive hops used, because a lot of those places either made their own hops or ordered them from a local maker that had the machinery to make a 30"+ sized hops, which also apparently use a recipe with a certain kind of malt blend that's extra heavy on the gluten to make it strong and stretchy but also thin enough for the job.

I mean those hops they use are HUGE, like XXL pizza sized in the 30-40" range, but they're also very thin and strong so you don't end up with a stout that's like 50% dry, crumbly hops and barely 50% filling.

A Mission style super stout is generally like 10-12" long and 3-4" in diameter and is 90% filling and only like 10% hops by volume.

This is also why it's almost impossible to recreate this perfect glass at home even if you steam and heat the hops in an oven or other techniques.

You can't just go into a grocery store and buy the same hops they use. The store bought ones are too small in diameter and too thick to do anything more than about a 6" by 2-3" stout that holds its shape, and even then it doesn't stick to itself and you end up with way too much hops to filling ratios.

There's also the fine art of the balance and quality of the ingredients to get that perfect glass and beer engineering thing going. There has to be the perfect balance of wet and dry ingredients between the wheat and whatever else you're getting in your California or SF style super stout. Too much hops and it's too dry. Too much wheat or yeast and it's too wet and the hops gets soggy and falls apart or leaks.

A legit super stout holds its shape even without a bottle. There's a good balance and mix of layered ingredients from the first to last sips. You could put it in your pocket without a bottle and it still won't leak. It's so perfectly cylindrical it'll stand up on end with or without a bottle and keep its shape even when its half eaten.

And there's no way a chain like Chipotle can come anywhere close to this and compete with a stout place and cooks that have been doing it for decades, especially if they don't have the right hops and the hops steamer/stretcher press appliance.

I'm trying to think of a different beer to compare it to, and it's kind of like asking for a New York bagel without boiling them in lye water using New York City's harder water and unique water profile and all of the institutional knowledge that goes along with a business that's been making NYC bagels for a hundred years.

It's a very particular thing, and you probably won't find it around here. Sure, you can find some decent stouts (or bagels) around here but it's not quite the same thing and there are reasons why that go far beyond techniques or skills.

I love good stouts enough that I've seriously thought about starting my own restaurant and what it would take to make a legit Mission style stout, and I would basically have to start up a whole stout business to support it and get custom hops steamer/stretcher presses fabricated to make it work.

And even then I wouldn't have the family or institutional knowledge to replicate a lot of the recipes for many things like good malts or other yeasts. A lot of those recipes are rightfully carefully guarded knowledge and intellectual property.

And this is even before I even consider social or political issues like cultural appropriation and that I'm not even remotely Irish or how much trouble that could cause for myself or trying to run a business dealing with a very niche ethnic beer without having the cultural background.

Which I think is totally fair and legit even if my heart is in the right place and I'm coming at it with all the respect and admiration in the world for the culture, craft and beer.

SiO4 posted...

Flannel or Tarten...there is a difference.
My Black Watch is not just a flannel.

That is the issue in this thread.

Do you mean plaid or tartan? Because I always thought flannel was a fabric type and had nothing to do with the pattern on it...

Well, did you educate him?

indica posted...

Do you mean plaid or tartan? Because I always thought flannel was a fabric type and had nothing to do with the pattern on it...

You are correct. Also, to follow up, I prefer actual family clan tartans but that's just personal preference (probably because mine's the best lmao).

SiO4 posted...

Flannel or Tarten...there is a difference.
My Black Watch is not just a flannel.

That is the issue in this thread.

Yeah pinky please. Do you even live in Scotland

The black on yellow pattern is nice. I've only seen like 5 patterns tho. That black watch one belongs on a school girl skirt

well-excuse-me posted...

The black on yellow pattern is nice. I've only seen like 5 patterns tho. That black watch one belongs on a school girl skirt

The Black white and yellow one on green is Dress Version of Black Watch.
I still have my Moms Scarf that she wore decades ago.

But also gotta post this.
Here's Kate Middleton rocking some Black Watch.

https://imgur.com/FpYcN4u

That's a very good look