Current Events > I'm a humble trans lady, Ask Me Stuff

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ElatedVenusaur
01/26/23 1:52:04 PM
#1:


Some points before I start!

-I've fallen in love with a new non-binary musician, Caroline "Uncle Carol" Rose. Here, listen to some of their music!
Miami (from her new album, to be released in March): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mqVCCy2np0
Feel The Way I Want*: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3EwDk1zY6g This one's pretty funny, IMO.
Jeannie Becomes a Mom: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgAPnbMHRDo

I have Courtney Barnett's excellent "Here and There" playlist to thank: it highlights the artists who played at the series of music festivals she organized over this past summer, of which Caroline Rose was one another was Faye Webster.
*This is spiritually similar to NOVA ONE's song lovable.

-Why didn't anyone warn me that a woman chopping wood is the fucking hottest thing ever? Jesus help me ladies, if you put on some flannel, whip out an axe, and start splitting wood, I will be putty in your hands. My girlfriend made fun of me, because she is cruel.

-This month has occurred under the shadow of illness: both my parents came down with COVID, about a week apart, and though I somehow managed to avoid getting it, I'm still getting over the stress.

-The Buffalo Bills suffered horrifying trauma and were later gutted like fish by the Bengals at home. This is the fourth year in a row they've collapsed pathetically in the playoffs, so I'm kind of getting tired of it.

-I finished Julia Serrano's excellent book Whipping Girl earlier in the month and am currently working on a translation of Miyamoto Musashi's Gorin-no-sho (The Book of Five Rings).

Ask away! Please be respectful.

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#2
Post #2 was unavailable or deleted.
ThePieReborn
01/26/23 1:53:48 PM
#3:


Cake or pie?

Choose carefully.

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CanardElastique
01/26/23 1:55:11 PM
#4:


Why am I so tired?

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Foppe
01/26/23 1:55:21 PM
#5:


ElatedVenusaur posted...
Why didn't anyone warn me that a woman chopping wood is the fucking hottest thing ever?
Pretty sure Simpsons did it.

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masterpug53
01/26/23 1:55:29 PM
#6:


Are you really, truly a humble lady?

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dj1200
01/26/23 1:56:14 PM
#7:


when did you start transitioning

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TendoDRM
01/26/23 1:58:24 PM
#8:


But are you the humblest, top of the humble list?

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gunplagirl
01/26/23 1:59:04 PM
#9:


https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/4/3/4/AAc53qAAEIBa.jpg
Did you know

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ElatedVenusaur
01/26/23 2:05:23 PM
#10:


[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

I haven't, no. I will need to acquire some new books soon. Your suggestion is noted. It may be followed up on at some point. Whether that's a month, a year, or a decade, I cannot say.

ThePieReborn posted...
Cake or pie?

Choose carefully.
Cake is generally better, unless it's over-iced or the icing is shitty American buttercream (as opposed to good American buttercream or Swiss buttercream).

CanardElastique posted...
Why am I so tired?
Are you not sleeping well? Are you sick? Are you physically active? Are you stressed?

masterpug53 posted...
Are you really, truly a humble lady?
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/4/4/0/AAIAInAAEIBg.jpg
Look at me, I'm sweet and innocent. It's not my fault women's clothing is generally made with women ~5" shorter than me in mind.

dj1200 posted...
when did you start transitioning
When wasn't I transitioning? Ya'll always want neat little categories, but things keep on being messy and open-ended.

TendoDRM posted...
But are you the humblest, top of the humble list?
That isn't for me to say, but if you were to nominate me, I would humbly accept the honor.

gunplagirl posted...
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/4/3/4/AAc53qAAEIBa.jpg
Did you know
I did not, and that is immensely fucked up. Fucking Delibird woman, it's holding its own tail, and it's someday going to (naturally) evolve into an absurdly deadly cyborg.

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frozenstar
01/26/23 2:05:56 PM
#11:


how do I get girl

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ElatedVenusaur
01/26/23 2:23:15 PM
#12:


frozenstar posted...
how do I get girl
My secret sauce was becoming the girl I always was. For obvious reasons, that might not work for everyone.

Big news: I have been personally attacked by a prominent Twitter trans account.
https://twitter.com/vyrthandi/status/1618681584537964544

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dj1200
01/26/23 2:24:32 PM
#13:


Are you doing hormone therapy?

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#14
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NoxObscuras
01/26/23 2:31:50 PM
#15:


ElatedVenusaur posted...
Look at me, I'm sweet and innocent. It's not my fault women's clothing is generally made with women ~5" shorter than me in mind.
How tall are you?

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Smackems
01/26/23 2:33:47 PM
#16:


I don't have anything interesting to ask

You ask yourself something and attribute it to me

Pls

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DarkRoast
01/26/23 2:33:53 PM
#17:


I don't know how to forgive myself for decades of depersonalization

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ElatedVenusaur
01/26/23 2:42:25 PM
#18:


dj1200 posted...
Are you doing hormone therapy?
Are you?

NoxObscuras posted...
How tall are you?
5'10. That's a whole inch shorter than last year!

Smackems posted...
I don't have anything interesting to ask

You ask yourself something and attribute it to me

Pls
My favorite race to play in Stellaris are a bunch of amoral science birbs. Don't get mad that they vivisected you, it just means that they thought you were interesting!

DarkRoast posted...
I don't know how to forgive myself for decades of depersonalization
That's a long process. For me, it was also a process that involved becoming connected to the feelings of dysphoria I was disassociating from, and, well...I was a fucking mess those first few months of therapy. Sometimes you have to hurt worse before you can hurt less.

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DarkRoast
01/26/23 2:45:28 PM
#19:


The depersonalization thing is finally what broke the firmament for me and made me accept that this was my problem.

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Crimsoness
01/26/23 2:46:03 PM
#20:


Why aren't you playing FE engage?

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ElatedVenusaur
01/26/23 3:35:24 PM
#21:


DarkRoast posted...
The depersonalization thing is finally what broke the firmament for me and made me accept that this was my problem.
And now you get to become a better version of yourself.

Crimsoness posted...
Why aren't you playing FE engage?
I'm poor and have recently prioritized clothing and tea purchases. I also blew a lot of money on candles for my girlfriend for her birthday and Christmas (I also gave her my old fleece, which she wears all the time. She says she's never going to wash it lol).

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NoxObscuras
01/26/23 3:44:33 PM
#22:


ElatedVenusaur posted...
5'10. That's a whole inch shorter than last year!
That's still a good height though!

And not a question, but I'm glad things are going well with your girlfriend. You always sound so happy when you talk about her. It's great.

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DarkRoast
01/26/23 3:54:22 PM
#23:


The craziest discovery for me is that being trans isn't just being the opposite gender. It's actually a literal biological imbalance, and when you're the wrong gender you depersonalize from the world.

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ZMythos
01/26/23 4:19:39 PM
#24:


Qdoba or Chipotle? And what do you order if you go?

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ElatedVenusaur
01/26/23 5:16:44 PM
#25:


NoxObscuras posted...
That's still a good height though!

And not a question, but I'm glad things are going well with your girlfriend. You always sound so happy when you talk about her. It's great.
I love that woman. And she loves me. Everyone who sees us together can see it too.
DarkRoast posted...
The craziest discovery for me is that being trans isn't just being the opposite gender. It's actually a literal biological imbalance, and when you're the wrong gender you depersonalize from the world.
Well yeah, it hurts when something so fundamental is misaligned. I get irritated without fail when customers misgender me (which happens often despite the fact my nametag has a girl's name and lists my pronouns).
ZMythos posted...
Qdoba or Chipotle? And what do you order if you go?
Neither. I don't really do fast food.

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ElleRagu
01/26/23 6:15:45 PM
#26:


did something ever happen to you that you could've sworn was a dream but it actually happened?

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MedeaLysistrata
01/26/23 6:28:39 PM
#27:


ElatedVenusaur posted...


Big news: I have been personally attacked by a prominent Twitter trans account.
https://twitter.com/vyrthandi/status/1618681584537964544
context?

would you rather be able to break into perfect freestyle rap or perfect choreographed dance?

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ElatedVenusaur
01/26/23 6:36:42 PM
#28:


ElleRagu posted...
did something ever happen to you that you could've sworn was a dream but it actually happened?
Ive had a lot of dreams like that. Always nightmares, like finding out I somehow didnt actually finish high school or getting bitten by a snake.

MedeaLysistrata posted...
context?

would you rather be able to break into perfect freestyle rap or perfect choreographed dance?
There is no context!

And the latter. Im indifferent but my girlfriend would really enjoy watching me dance.
For about two reasons.

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Smackems
01/26/23 6:41:57 PM
#29:


I'm looking at a possum

Should I pet it

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Proto_Spark
01/26/23 6:46:43 PM
#30:


When did you evolve from an Elated Ivysaur?
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hockeybub89
01/26/23 6:48:10 PM
#31:


Why can't I figure out who I am? The more I think about, the more I'm like "Fuck it. I'm just LGBTQ+. I can't tell you anymore. I'm me."

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ElatedVenusaur
01/26/23 7:27:46 PM
#32:


Smackems posted...
I'm looking at a possum

Should I pet it
Probably not!

Proto_Spark posted...
When did you evolve from an Elated Ivysaur?

When I turned 32, obviously.

hockeybub89 posted...
Why can't I figure out who I am? The more I think about, the more I'm like "Fuck it. I'm just LGBTQ+. I can't tell you anymore. I'm me."
I have a non-binary friend who said that the more they question and explore their gender, the more confused about it they become. But also the happier they get.

Also, I guess I should share that lumberjack lesbian with ya'll:
https://www.instagram.com/nicole_coenen/

I don't use TikTok.

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ElatedVenusaur
01/26/23 9:50:12 PM
#33:


Courage the Cowardly Dog is good stuff.

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parisdolphin
01/26/23 10:18:10 PM
#34:


Would you rather be too hot or too cold?
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Gremlynn
01/26/23 10:28:45 PM
#35:


currently just tagging for the tunes.

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Smackems
01/26/23 10:39:43 PM
#36:


I tried to pet it but it ran

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ThyIlls
01/26/23 11:04:12 PM
#37:


ElatedVenusaur posted...
https://twitter.com/vyrthandi/status/1618681584537964544

I'm gonna block out the punchline because it's hilarious and needs to be read fully. emotional support floor laundry HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I'm not even trans and Hey, I resemble that remark!
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ElatedVenusaur
01/26/23 11:09:55 PM
#38:


parisdolphin posted...
Would you rather be too hot or too cold?
Too hot. Wearing less doesn't really bother me much anymore.

But cold? Jesus fuck, it's ~60 degrees in here and my hands are kind of cold. Halve that and they'll go numb from cold lol.

Gremlynn posted...
currently just tagging for the tunes.
Miami in particular hits like a sack of bricks: Uncle Carol's upcoming 4th album The Art of Forgetting is apparently the child of a very difficult period in their life. Including but not limited to a messy break-up.
But have a bonus: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFImka6XdVU

Smackems posted...
I tried to pet it but it ran
They don't generally like being pet.

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ElatedVenusaur
01/26/23 11:49:48 PM
#39:


ThyIlls posted...
I'm gonna block out the punchline because it's hilarious and needs to be read fully. emotional support floor laundry HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I'm not even trans and Hey, I resemble that remark!
Vyrthandi is one of my absolute favorite Twitter trans ladies.

Anyway, have a good night everyone!

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Gwynevere
01/26/23 11:59:45 PM
#40:


When does growing boobs stop hurting god DAMN

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hockeybub89
01/27/23 1:34:40 AM
#41:


A more personal question: How do trans people view memories from before transition? Either your personal experience or others'.

Obviously trans people are always trans, but do you view yourself as you presented then? Or is there some kind of mental "correction"? Are there happy memories or do they all cause some level of distress?

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DarkRoast
01/27/23 6:44:24 AM
#42:


hockeybub89 posted...
A more personal question: How do trans people view memories from before transition? Either your personal experience or others'.

Obviously trans people are always trans, but do you view yourself as you presented then? Or is there some kind of mental "correction"? Are there happy memories or do they all cause some level of distress?

Before you transition, a lot of your life is dominated by depersonalization.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/2/6/1/AAeEwGAAEH-t.jpg

So it mostly just seems like your brain wasn't functioning.

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ElatedVenusaur
01/27/23 7:33:11 AM
#43:


Gwynevere posted...
When does growing boobs stop hurting god DAMN
They dont stop hurting until they stop growing.
Actually something slamming into my chest was how I first realized they were actually starting to develop lol. That hurt so bad.and so good?


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ElatedVenusaur
01/27/23 7:36:32 AM
#44:


hockeybub89 posted...
A more personal question: How do trans people view memories from before transition? Either your personal experience or others'.

Obviously trans people are always trans, but do you view yourself as you presented then? Or is there some kind of mental "correction"? Are there happy memories or do they all cause some level of distress?
Nah, pre-transition memories are mostly just foggy and muddy, if that makes sense: even happy ones. Its just unclear and muddled: which frustrates my deeply inquisitive girlfriend to no end.

Memories from after I started HRT are comparatively sharper, and not just because theyre relatively more recent. I simply became more present. If that makes sense.

Lastly, having to get up to pee is fucking heinous.

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hockeybub89
01/27/23 7:40:18 AM
#45:


DarkRoast posted...
Before you transition, a lot of your life is dominated by depersonalization.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/2/6/1/AAeEwGAAEH-t.jpg

So it mostly just seems like your brain wasn't functioning.

ElatedVenusaur posted...
Nah, pre-transition memories are mostly just foggy and muddy, if that makes sense: even happy ones. Its just unclear and muddled: which frustrates my deeply inquisitive girlfriend to no end.

Memories from after I started HRT are comparatively sharper, and not just because theyre relatively more recent. I simply became more present. If that makes sense.

Lastly, having to get up to pee is fucking heinous.
Very interesting.

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ElatedVenusaur
01/27/23 7:45:44 AM
#46:


hockeybub89 posted...
Very interesting.
For the record, Zinnia Jones breakdown is very good. I recently wrote a 15-page term paper about modern trans issues and made it a mission to cite as many trans people as possible. Off the top of my head, I cited Susan Stryker, Katelyn Burns, Alejandra Caraballo, Jo Yurcaba, Florence Ashley, and, yes: Zinnia Jones. I hadnt read anything by Julia Serrano at the time and dearly wish I had.

I wanted to cite Roz Raskin as well, but left that for the authors note I attached for my girlfriend and therapist.

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ElatedVenusaur
01/27/23 10:48:50 AM
#47:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lTABF7H2BWM
Now that I'm awake, have yet another song, this one NOVA ONE's lovable. Roz Raskin is the front-person, an enby who who once fronted a mediocre punk band (Roz and the Rice Cakes - my girlfriend has a shirt) now fronts something a lot better (ironically, my girlfriend introduced me to NOVA ONE without realizing the singer is the same person), all while adopting an exaggeratedly feminine guise. This is what I cited in my author's note, most specifically this section:

"I'm not tied to this
I was made for me
I'm not tied to this
And I know you see
I'm not tied to this
Won't you let us free
I'm not tied to this
I was made for me."
Considering they're non-binary and they sell t-shirts emblazoned with those lines (I'm not tied to this, I was made for me) it seems to be meant in a broad, liberatory sense. Thus it's actually thematically similar with Caroline Rose's "Feel The Way I Want", but I think there's unique power in Roz's soaring vocal performance.

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DarkRoast
01/27/23 12:11:29 PM
#48:


I wish more people understood that you literally have no choice. Transgender happens to you. And if you do nothing about it, your mental state only worsens.

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ElatedVenusaur
01/27/23 12:29:21 PM
#49:


DarkRoast posted...
I wish more people understood that you literally have no choice. Transgender happens to you. And if you do nothing about it, your mental state only worsens.
Serrano identifies gender identity as being innate and immutable, though it is neither entirely essential nor entirely constructed - it's both. But subconscious sex is immutable.

You're not tied to this. You were made for you and you should feel the way you want to feel ;) . Learn to take joy in it.

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MathMurderer
01/27/23 6:25:22 PM
#50:


Are you familiar with Eurovision? If so, what's your favorite winning song?

If not, here's a recap of all winners in case you're interested:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJ-i8qCD5Ck

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