LogFAQs


Current Events > Stumbled on a pretty depressing Reddit thread

Topic List
Page List: 1, 2
the_pika
12/26/22 1:22:15 PM
#1:


https://old.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/yy2rcv/men_who_encourage_other_men_not_to_open_up_to/iwsae0r/

tl;dr : many, many dudes who ended crying in front of their (female) partners, now matter how valid the reason was, ended stopped feeling attracted to them after it.

dozens of men confirmed this phenom in the comments (see thread). Some people even divorced after seeing the guy cry.

what are your thoughts? I had no idea this was a thing
... Copied to Clipboard!
Bad_Mojo
12/26/22 1:23:35 PM
#2:


It doesn't surprise me that it happens.

---
https://i.imgtc.com/hQ5SuG6.gif https://i.imgtc.com/QrhAq36.gif https://i.imgtc.com/Yjov9DU.gif
... Copied to Clipboard!
the_pika
12/26/22 1:25:29 PM
#3:


Bad_Mojo posted...
It doesn't surprise me that it happens.

technically, wouldnt a guy cry at least once every 5 years? Imagine meeting someone, marrying, and then you cry in year 6 and she dumps u.

its so weird
... Copied to Clipboard!
FaultyCircuitry
12/26/22 1:25:38 PM
#4:


Women are raised to embrace toxic masculinity just as much as men are

No surprise really

---
And I'd never do it but it's not a joke; I can't tell the difference when I'm all alone // https://www.last.fm/user/crushedaria
~[she/her|they/them]~
... Copied to Clipboard!
refmon
12/26/22 1:25:51 PM
#5:


Plenty of guys feel this way towards women, don't get it twisted

---
If you read this signature, then that meant that I had control of what you read for 5 SECONDS!!
... Copied to Clipboard!
CRON
12/26/22 1:27:30 PM
#6:


This is extremely common, especially in relationships where the woman has a Cluster-B disorder.

My ex was very progressive and would constantly go on rants about toxic masculinity and how men should open up about their feelings instead of (in her words) "doing the bullshit macho thing". Literally every time I had a panic attack, she would roll her eyes and loudly tell me to shut the fuck up.

It's just how it is, and there's no changing it.
... Copied to Clipboard!
Zikten
12/26/22 1:32:45 PM
#7:


That's fucked. I will never forget the first time I saw a grown man cry. My older brother's best friend died to a catastrophic asthma attack

My family went to the funeral and I remember his dad suddenly just breaking down into sobbing. I was like 7 or something at the time. It taught me that men can cry and its ok
... Copied to Clipboard!
Ruvan22
12/26/22 1:35:03 PM
#8:


Zikten posted...
That's fucked. I will never forget the first time I saw a grown man cry. My older brother's best friend died to a catastrophic asthma attack

My family went to the funeral and I remember his dad suddenly just breaking down into sobbing. I was like 7 or something at the time. It taught me that men can cry and its ok

How'd your brother and dad react?
... Copied to Clipboard!
#9
Post #9 was unavailable or deleted.
Zikten
12/26/22 1:36:35 PM
#10:


Ruvan22 posted...
How'd your brother and dad react?
My brother was sad. But I dont remember exactly what he did at the funeral. The dad crying is the only solid memory I have of the funeral

I remember my brother being very sad around that time though. I'm sure he cried many times.
... Copied to Clipboard!
#11
Post #11 was unavailable or deleted.
Rexdragon125
12/26/22 1:44:16 PM
#12:


I lost a few friends from high school because I cried about my dad dying. They can go to hell for all I care
... Copied to Clipboard!
CARRRNE_ASADA
12/26/22 1:45:00 PM
#13:


FaultyCircuitry posted...
Women are raised to embrace toxic masculinity just as much as men are

No surprise really


Fucking this. Even feminist women like more a "traditional, masculine man" and everything that it entails.

---
SEXY SEXY!
... Copied to Clipboard!
Biofighter55
12/26/22 1:47:57 PM
#14:


CARRRNE_ASADA posted...
Fucking this. Even feminist women like more a "traditional, masculine man" and everything that it entails.

if you even seen parks & Rec one of the main characters who is a very open and progressive goes after a feminist women, she ends with another main character who is a very gruff and masculine man

---
This is my sig. Don't like it, then don't look at it.
... Copied to Clipboard!
CRON
12/26/22 1:49:38 PM
#15:


CARRRNE_ASADA posted...
Fucking this. Even feminist women like more a "traditional, masculine man" and everything that it entails.
I think excusing their ignorance with the "toxic masculinity" line is a bit of a cop-out tbh
... Copied to Clipboard!
rexcrk
12/26/22 1:50:36 PM
#16:


CRON posted...
This is extremely common, especially in relationships where the woman has a Cluster-B disorder.

My ex was very progressive and would constantly go on rants about toxic masculinity and how men should open up about their feelings instead of (in her words) "doing the bullshit macho thing". Literally every time I had a panic attack, she would roll her eyes and loudly tell me to shut the fuck up.

It's just how it is, and there's no changing it.


God, why do girls do shit like this?


---
Fate rarely calls on us at a moment of our choosing.
... Copied to Clipboard!
CRON
12/26/22 1:54:49 PM
#17:


rexcrk posted...
God, why do girls do shit like this?
It's not my obligation to find out or care. My experiences with abusive partners has definitely left a bad impression though, and I'm terrified of the prospect of finding another partner; especially since I'm now "old".
... Copied to Clipboard!
berlyman101
12/26/22 2:24:22 PM
#18:


women can be cruel but a lot of those posts come off as naive or overly pessimistic. like a lot of them haven't even dealt with it yet, they're just afraid

---
"They think it don't be like it is, but it do."
-Oscar Gamble
... Copied to Clipboard!
#19
Post #19 was unavailable or deleted.
#20
Post #20 was unavailable or deleted.
AlephZero
12/26/22 2:43:03 PM
#21:


the biggest mistake a man can make in his life is opening up to a woman

---
"life is overrated" - Seiichi Omori
01001100 01010101 01000101 00100000 00110100 00110000 00110010
... Copied to Clipboard!
FelineCyborg
12/26/22 2:44:59 PM
#22:


Has anybody dated anybody that tried to make you cry? It's weird, like if you don't cry it means you "don't really care" but if you cry then you're not a man.

---
"well, yeah, and a lot of minorities go to see minstrel shows, too." - PyroSpoon
... Copied to Clipboard!
Solar_Crimson
12/26/22 2:46:55 PM
#23:


FaultyCircuitry posted...
Women are raised to embrace toxic masculinity just as much as men are

No surprise really


---
11/8/2022 - The day the Blue Wall intercepted the Red Wave.
... Copied to Clipboard!
FelineCyborg
12/26/22 2:52:30 PM
#24:


[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


Don't understand why people make comments like this that don't contribute towards anything.

---
"well, yeah, and a lot of minorities go to see minstrel shows, too." - PyroSpoon
... Copied to Clipboard!
Dan_Haren-
12/26/22 2:55:54 PM
#25:


I cried twice in my life since I turned 18, once when my grandma died, the other when my other grandma died. And both times it was alone and in my car.

I don't need anyone else to validate my feelings. Men are too dependent on others these days. More men need to be independent.
... Copied to Clipboard!
FelineCyborg
12/26/22 2:56:45 PM
#26:


Dan_Haren- posted...
I cried twice in my life since I turned 18, once when my grandma died, the other when my other grandma died. And both times it was alone and in my car.

I don't need anyone else to validate my feelings. Men are too dependent on others these days. More men need to be independent.

I've been doing everything alone since adulthood so I can't relate to 2nd paragraph.

---
"well, yeah, and a lot of minorities go to see minstrel shows, too." - PyroSpoon
... Copied to Clipboard!
Anteaterking
12/26/22 2:59:39 PM
#27:


Inside Out is true only for girls. If a boy had been on a tree branch, crying becasue his team had lost... it wouldn't have summoned an outpouring of love and support from the people closest to him. He'd have been pulled out of that tree, shamed, abused, mocked and made a pariah for it. And that's just by the mother.

Professional athletes cry plenty over games and don't have those things happen to them.

Like they're not wailing but the worst they tend to get is someone photoshopping crying Michael Jordan over them.


---
http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b136/Anteaterking/scan00021.jpg
http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b136/Anteaterking/scan00021.jpg
... Copied to Clipboard!
gasgpmo
12/26/22 3:00:59 PM
#28:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZOONIDAGV8
... Copied to Clipboard!
#29
Post #29 was unavailable or deleted.
wanderingshade
12/26/22 3:04:06 PM
#30:


Toxic Masculinity really describes the "man up don't be a pussy" culture that pervades male life for almost the entirety of their lives and women are capable of perpetuating it.

It, frankly, seems to be the largest driver of disaffected youth, violence and depression that doesn't relate to economic factors. But it seems invisible compared to broken, abusive (even though you could see this as being abused) or half empty homes because Machismo is something that is quite normalized. Always be brave, don't be a coward, only sissies cry, you should be able to do everything yourself without complaining, don't be such a pussy. Someone makes fun of you, punch them in the nose.

It also clearly feeds into the chauvinism by sometimes equating weakness to being a girl. People that buy into stuff like this are more likely to support "traditional values". Not to mention have lower empathy for other people, like the "poors".

---
"You're made of spare parts, aren't ya, bud?"
... Copied to Clipboard!
_Rinku_
12/26/22 3:14:56 PM
#31:


I mean, I think this is just a narcissist thing. My ex would be in tears all the time and I'd comfort her, but I was doing it for attention if I cried.

One year, my mother had a pretty serious accident and it looked like she wouldn't be able to walk on her own anymore. I was privately crying about it and hadn't said anything to my ex when she asked what was wrong. All I said was, "My mom might be crippled for the rest of her life," and you know what she said?

She snarled at me and spat back, "You're exaggerating for sympathy."

If that bitch hadn't had complete control of me at that moment, I would have left. I should have left. It wasn't the first vile thing she had said to me and it wouldn't be the last.

We did eventually break up (after she cheated on me) and come to find out that she had been spinning the yarn to our mutual friends (one of whom I'm pretty sure slept with her) that I was the one who wouldn't let her cry or be sad.

Now, I know what you're thinking, "Gee Rinku, doesn't that prove the point that your ex, a woman, wouldn't let you, a man, cry?" Well, my ex is transgender. She did that shit because she's a narcissist. There's no man, woman, what have you aspect to it.
... Copied to Clipboard!
Punished_Blinx
12/26/22 3:15:46 PM
#32:


Never been an issue with my wife. We've been through a lot together and there's nothing I feel like I'm holding back. We've been through close break ups and family deaths and all you can do in those moments to get through is open up and get emotional together.

The big upvoted post there seems to go beyond opening up and about handling an outright mental breakdown. Which is something I haven't personally been through from either perspective. That level of stuff is incredibly difficult for anyone to get through in a relationship and it's overall a burden that can only really be handled by people who are close enough to do so.

---
A Fallen Mascot
... Copied to Clipboard!
Pogo_Marimo
12/26/22 3:29:33 PM
#33:


Dan_Haren- posted...
I cried twice in my life since I turned 18, once when my grandma died, the other when my other grandma died. And both times it was alone and in my car.

I don't need anyone else to validate my feelings. Men are too dependent on others these days. More men need to be independent.
Famously emotionally stable and socially capable Dan_Haren. I'm impressed you've kept this account since July. You're really proving us all wrong!

---
'Cause you know that I have no fear, ain't gonna walk into the river and disappear. I'm gonna be a powerful man. Red blood running down the broken sand.
... Copied to Clipboard!
#34
Post #34 was unavailable or deleted.
Tyranthraxus
12/26/22 3:50:14 PM
#35:


FaultyCircuitry posted...
Women are raised to embrace toxic masculinity just as much as men are

No surprise really
The word for this is "PHMT"

---
It says right here in Matthew 16:4 "Jesus doth not need a giant Mecha."
https://i.imgur.com/dQgC4kv.jpg
... Copied to Clipboard!
EnvoyOfTheLight
12/26/22 4:01:53 PM
#36:


[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


I don't think it's a majority of women, but here's a disturbing bit of an interview:

https://youtu.be/no7FuVwcn6w?t=39

I definitely don't endorse Joe Rogan, just I got the clip from here on CE and never forgot about it.

---
i horf and i
... Copied to Clipboard!
ArchNemo
12/26/22 4:12:51 PM
#37:


I'm surprised people are shocked this happened, but it's also not as bad as people are making it out to be.

I think most people realize that there are situations where it's fine for a man to cry, unless they're completely toxic.

However, most things that it's acceptable for women to cry about will immediately make less attractive to your partner. Like people have said, women are raised with the idea that a man crying is weak too, and weaknesses is never an attractive trait.

---
Down with the Signess.
... Copied to Clipboard!
Weezy_Tha_Don
12/26/22 4:15:34 PM
#38:


Ive definitely lost a fling this way lol

---
http://i.imgur.com/hwZyGuA.jpg - courtesy of the homie United_World
born in this world crying, but die laughing.
... Copied to Clipboard!
BloodMoon7
12/26/22 4:15:56 PM
#39:


I never cry. I should have like 50 women by now. I don't understand.

---
My maid will hear about this.
... Copied to Clipboard!
Boombam99
12/26/22 4:32:02 PM
#40:


I knew feeling completely dead inside and having no emotion would come in handy for me someday!
... Copied to Clipboard!
dave_is_slick
12/26/22 4:33:32 PM
#41:


[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

It ain't just reddit.

---
The most relaxing version of Aquatic Ambiance I've ever heard:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bl61y1XM7sM
... Copied to Clipboard!
#42
Post #42 was unavailable or deleted.
Lost_All_Senses
12/26/22 4:36:04 PM
#43:


[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


That's the thing. These guys are just as responsible for not being themselves when forming relationships. Then again, they might just get softer as they aged. It sucks, but people grow in different ways. They shouldn't want to stay with a woman that hasn't matured with them anyway. I don't cry in front of people, but I talk about crying all the time and how normal it is.

---
Name checks out
"I don't wanna be the toughest, I just keep it 100 and think nothin of it"- Black Thought
... Copied to Clipboard!
garan
12/26/22 4:59:32 PM
#44:


CRON posted...
This is extremely common, especially in relationships where the woman has a Cluster-B disorder.

My ex was very progressive and would constantly go on rants about toxic masculinity and how men should open up about their feelings instead of (in her words) "doing the bullshit macho thing". Literally every time I had a panic attack, she would roll her eyes and loudly tell me to shut the fuck up.

It's just how it is, and there's no changing it.


Exact same thing happened to me. My ex is the most progressive left wing person I've ever met, talks all sorts of shit about toxic masculinity and still would specifically insult me about not being manly enough.

After my cat died, I cried in front of her. She was nice to me for one day & then went back to the insulting, abusive behavior.

That was 8 years ago & it's the last time I will ever cry in front of a woman. If I'm going to cry, it will be when I'm alone & can be in peace.
... Copied to Clipboard!
#45
Post #45 was unavailable or deleted.
Zikten
12/26/22 5:16:13 PM
#46:


garan posted...
Exact same thing happened to me. My ex is the most progressive left wing person I've ever met, talks all sorts of shit about toxic masculinity and still would specifically insult me about not being manly enough.

After my cat died, I cried in front of her. She was nice to me for one day & then went back to the insulting, abusive behavior.

That was 8 years ago & it's the last time I will ever cry in front of a woman. If I'm going to cry, it will be when I'm alone & can be in peace.
I hope you are no longer with her
... Copied to Clipboard!
SauI_Goodman
12/26/22 5:17:33 PM
#47:


Honestly if thats the reason she left you youre better of without her

---
Italian, French, German.
... Copied to Clipboard!
bioshockjack
12/26/22 5:28:48 PM
#48:


This topic and that subreddit as a whole makes me feel so gross. These kinds of discussions go into incel territory so damn fast. In my experience I dont think crying in front of an SO or anyone for that matter affected my relationships with them like, at all. I mean, on a date I teared up during the movie and they they thought that was sweet. I mean jeez is everyone in the topic and that Reddit just dating psychopaths or something?

---
blah
Switch FC: SW-5821-7513-8220
... Copied to Clipboard!
DemonicChaosXX
12/26/22 5:29:57 PM
#49:


garan posted...
Exact same thing happened to me. My ex is the most progressive left wing person I've ever met, talks all sorts of shit about toxic masculinity and still would specifically insult me about not being manly enough.

After my cat died, I cried in front of her. She was nice to me for one day & then went back to the insulting, abusive behavior.

That was 8 years ago & it's the last time I will ever cry in front of a woman. If I'm going to cry, it will be when I'm alone & can be in peace.

The fact that you pointed out she was "Left wing." tells me two things. 1. You let politics dictate your life and 2. this never happened, and you're just bringing politics into this to shit on the left.

---
It's a point and click adventure where the only action is "use gun" on "man". GameFAQs: 75% Nintendo haters, 25% actual gamers.
... Copied to Clipboard!
Lost_All_Senses
12/26/22 5:37:07 PM
#50:


garan posted...
Exact same thing happened to me. My ex is the most progressive left wing person I've ever met, talks all sorts of shit about toxic masculinity and still would specifically insult me about not being manly enough.

After my cat died, I cried in front of her. She was nice to me for one day & then went back to the insulting, abusive behavior.

That was 8 years ago & it's the last time I will ever cry in front of a woman. If I'm going to cry, it will be when I'm alone & can be in peace.

My dog died 3 months ago. The ending left a lot of trauma since I had to be there for every heavy part of it analyze what was happening the entire time. Images and realizations I can't seem to escape yet. I still cry over it frequently. I think the ugly crying has subsided. But most the time it feels more healthy to just let some tears come out before moving on to thinking about something else. There's that struggle between wanting to get over it but not wanting to forget. I have a shit memory, so the fear of forgetting really fucks with me. Or when something triggers it while you're out and you gotta shove it down and keep eating it until you get home and be alone. Lost count of how many times I held it until I was walking up to my door and started crying knowing that I wasn't gonna see him when I opened the door. If stuff like that makes you soft, Id make good toilet paper. Wait ...ew, that's gross.

This experience made me realize I somehow had made it 33 years with no heavy trauma tho. So, there's that to be thankful for, I guess. Though, it's hard to appreciate it when you only really understand it once you lose it.

---
Name checks out
"I don't wanna be the toughest, I just keep it 100 and think nothin of it"- Black Thought
... Copied to Clipboard!
Topic List
Page List: 1, 2