Current Events > Were/Are you afraid of your parents?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Did you live in some level of fear of triggering your parents into a rage or into them screaming at you for any or everything?

Yeah. Most of the time I feel like I'm on eggshells, because I don't know what will set these people off. Recently made mom furious when she said "I moved it off the dishes." And I responded with "Moved what?" She was legit seething with rage and fighting back tears(which means she's totally furious). All just because I didn't telepathically know what she moved. It was a hat. A relative put their hat on the dish drainer. All I saw was his hat on the arm of the couch, I didn't know where it had been.

I'm done taking crap from dad though. When he starts his garbage I give it right back. I used to be afraid of getting him started, but I've realized that it doesn't matter what anyone does or says, he'll go off regardless. So I stopped caring if I offend him.

At this point, no. They're arguably more afraid of me. Which is ironic since it was my sister who had admittedly planned to stuff them in a nursing home and sell off their property ASAP...the golden child they originally placed all their bets on.

Spoiled children don't develop genuine compassion, at least not on their own. Compassion in conjunction with empathy is the #1 reason offspring would bother trying to maintain the domestic independence and dignity of senior parents outside of a nursing home in the west. Not money, not honor, not tradition....compassion. Which our parents diligently negated in my sister's favored upbringing, much at the expense of their other children. Colleagues of my parents went through the same misstep and warned them about the pit they were digging for themselves, well over a decade too late.

I was apparently the runner up choice to eventually be my parents' POA, despite being the least favored child due to my homosexuality and wedding they weren't invited to. My eldest brother resides in a psyche ward. And my younger brother is a financially inept drug addict who can barely look after himself. Once our parents realized they raised their daughter to be a Cruella de Vil, suddenly I became important to their life plans again. Of which I made clear I am not interested.

And no, I don't resent my sister's ruthless character. She's a product of the hands that molded her and she's been wise enough to leave me out of her plots entirely.

No, but I learned to respect them.

Yes, they are the omnipotent gods that control your world and somehow made you exist, as far as a 4 year old is concerned

I used to be a bit afraid of my dad since he can be an asshole and angry. Most of that was directed towards my mom and not me, though. He mellowed out a bit over the years, but there's still a bit of that left. I don't fear him now.

My parents were both unpredictable and violent, so I was scared of both of them for most of the time I lived with them and wasnt exactly comfortable after I moved out.

Both of my parents were physically and emotionally abusive. Physically until I finally got fed up. My mother tried to pull me across a room once by my hair. I tried to break her fingers. She cried, but she never tried touching me again. Didnt stop the emotional abuse though.

My fathers form of punishment was a belt.

I was never actually afraid of them that I can remember. But it did breed resentment.

My mothers dead and my father is dying.

They're both gone now, but I only ever really feared my dad to an extent as a child. His presence always ruined whatever activity I was doing and we were often at each others' throats.

If there's anything I really fear regarding my mom, it's having to move on in this shithole world without her.

Dad yeah, liked to talk with his hands if he had a bad day at work. Chewing too loud during dinner was one of many things that got me clocked.

Fearful of disappointing my dad, yes.

Not because it meant a belt, or corporal punishment of some sort, but because it meant a stern talking to and less time being spent with him as a result of my stupidity. During my very young years, my dad despite working his arse off tried his absolute best to spend time with me.

Given how limited it was, doing something to upset, annoy or dissapoint him meant removing myself from pleasant times with my dad.

Teen years were quite different, no real fear, more clashing and arguing over things. Younger years I hated the idea of frustrating him. As I got older I challenged him more and we said some hateful / nasty things to eachother during that period because we'd test one another too much.

Very good relationship now though, great grandfather to my kids as well. Love both of my parents, any fear came from missing out on time with them, not big punishments.

synklare posted...

Fearful of disappointing my dad, yes.

Not because it meant a belt, or corporal punishment of some sort, but because it meant a stern talking to and less time being spent with him as a result of my stupidity. During my very young years, my dad despite working his arse off tried his absolute best to spend time with me.

Given how limited it was, doing something to upset, annoy or dissapoint him meant removing myself from pleasant times with my dad.

Teen years were quite different, no real fear, more clashing and arguing over things. Younger years I hated the idea of frustrating him. As I got older I challenged him more and we said some hateful / nasty things to eachother during that period because we'd test one another too much.

Very good relationship now though, great grandfather to my kids as well. Love both of my parents, any fear came from missing out on time with them, not big punishments.

Reminds me: my dad used to talk about how he used to be a scout leader... so to try to garner attention I joined scouts.

He didnt care and was only annoyed if he had to do anything like take me to a scout event or to the store to buy my uniform.

Then he wondered why I stopped going like 6 months later.

synklare posted...

Fearful of disappointing my dad, yes.

That's not fear, necessarily. That's respecting your dad as a senior/elder and, on some level, how you should view him. You respected and cherished the time you had with him back then and understood it wouldn't be forever. Disappointing him meant that an opportunity to enjoy simple times together was replaced with a lecture or teaching opportunity, which as a child is not what you want (though it is necessary to growing up well adjusted and healthy).

Many adults confuse fear with respect. It sounds like your dad managed to teach you respect, without fear (even though your childhood understanding of it made it seem like fear)

I'll say I occasionally had some concerns my parents would get mad about this or that, but not to the degree I would call fear. More like what I'd say is a healthy level like, "oh man I was supposed to clean my room today and mom might get mad". Actually fearing your parents sounds bad to me.

Parents no. Brother yes.

My dad would beat me.

I feared punishments, but not my parents themselves.