Current Events > Why dont bible things happen anymore?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Visitation from angels and huge world changing miracles and shit

Or new chapters in the Bible. So much for the living word mirite

Angels are like aliens. They come from above to fuck with hillbillies without internet access. Or people from 2000 years ago.

Gods away on business.

If UFO events/sighting actually happen those would be Bible stories. Fukushima would be a Bible event

Its all up to us now

Perhaps, and stay with me here, its because they never did in the first place?

Its not bible times anymore, its future times.

Say it with me folks, biblical.

Glob posted...

Perhaps, and stay with me here, its because they never did in the first place?

Glob would say that, though.

Edit: fail, was thinking of Golb.

We just a plague.

I saw a salt truck go down my road tonight, which is an actual miracle. I don't know what religious authority to report it to though.

God was finally defeated when Starbucks switched to the generic red holiday cups

probably was allegorical shit

They never happened back then either. But it's easy to get medieval people to believe fairy tales

Even modern people are gullible

A conversation with my dad

Me: how do you know Bible thing happened?

Dad: the Bible says it did

Me: how do you know the Bible is telling the truth

Dad : because the people who wrote it were inspired by God

Me: how do you know those people didn't make that up?

Dad : because they didn't

Because Jesus.

Zikten posted...

They never happened back then either. But it's easy to get medieval people to believe fairy tales

Even modern people are gullible

A conversation with my dad

Me: how do you know Bible thing happened?

Dad: the Bible says it did

Me: how do you know the Bible is telling the truth

Dad : because the people who wrote it were inspired by God

Me: how do you know those people didn't make that up?

Dad : because they didn't

I kinda feel like anyone that's at least that level of inquisitive, like to where they'll question... Things in general.. is destined to become either atheist or agnostic.

I was asking targeted questions like that about santa in like kindergarten. Church never stood a chance.

Depending on what denomination (or "non-denomination" if you're part of the unfortunate that was raised in the Church of Christ) the Age of Miracles ended when Christ was brought back to life after his crucification and the last of the apostles died because... they actually never explained this to us, thinking about it now.

you could always contribute to its credibility

So I take it you have never been to Britain where we get rain of Biblical proportions quite often.

MyStErIoUs WaYs and other assorted malarky.

NozomisHusband posted...

Depending on what denomination (or "non-denomination" if you're part of the unfortunate that was raised in the Church of Christ) the Age of Miracles ended when Christ was brought back to life after his crucification and the last of the apostles died because... they actually never explained this to us, thinking about it now.

Probably something like since Jesus died for our sins allowing us a chance at redemption for all means that they no longer have to be involved.

It's like a dev adding a debug mode and letting the end user fix what he's too busy/lazy to...or not.

Well that's easy.

Most of them didn't happen then either.

God is afraid of what humans become

Weebs, shut ins, incels

Who says they don't?

Miracles could be happening all the time without you knowing. And for all anyone here can be certain, the type of grand miracles like in the Bible could start happening any day now. >.>

MabusIncarnate posted...

I saw a salt truck go down my road tonight, which is an actual miracle. I don't know what religious authority to report it to though.

He already knows

Here's possibly one!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miracle_of_the_Sun

Cagey posted...

Here's possibly one!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miracle_of_the_Sun

Mass delusion maybe

My son was born 2 months early and was in the NICU. My mom had advanced breast cancer at the time. Before she died (when my son was 2), she told me the exact moment she knew he was going to be okay (when he was still in the NICU) because she felt her angel knock her in the shoulder. Her angel had returned to her because my son no longer needed a guardian angel.

My mom believed. Do you?

A lot of the bible stuff never happened. Like they plagiarized Noah Flood from Gilgamesh. Some even argue the people of the bible were never even slaves like that whole Moses arc where he parts the sea and they flee Egypt didnt happen.

MelbuFrahma4 posted...

Some even argue the people of the bible were never even slaves like that whole Moses arc where he parts the sea and they flee Egypt didnt happen.

Yes. I think the Hebrews were always in Isreal, as pagans. Something caused them shift to 1 god. Later they created an origin myth for their people to dramatize the past. The enslavement, the escape, the journey to Israel, the war to drive out the pagan natives. I dont think any of that actually happened

Same as the Romans having myths about the founding of their city by Romulus and Remus. Just cultural origin myths

https://youtu.be/0RFwyobtnKA

Sariana21 posted...

My son was born 2 months early and was in the NICU. My mom had advanced breast cancer at the time. Before she died (when my son was 2), she told me the exact moment she knew he was going to be okay (when he was still in the NICU) because she felt her angel knock her in the shoulder. Her angel had returned to her because my son no longer needed a guardian angel.

My mom believed. Do you?

No.

I think that it started the same way as Islam.
One guy thought that the one and only God spoke to him when he was either sleeping or high.
He started to talk about it, and it is a combination of different pagan believes combined into one thing. People starts to get interesting, so he adds old popular legends retold as if God had a hand in it.
Like Noah, which is clearly based on the popular flood legend.
The Plagues of Egypt in Exodus can be explained by a volcanic eruption, so it could have happened and was told as an old unexplained legend. So you exaggerate it some and add God to it, and must figure out a reason why we know that God did this. Wham, put us there as slaves and it was a result of God punishing them.
More and more people joined and they decided that they need to expand, in the name of God.
They killed people that didnt join, and they justified it by newly made up propaganda stories about how their ancestors had a war against false Gods as well.
And then it kept going.

Okay, another one:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Our_Lady_of_Lourdes

Because they don't fucking work and never did. Let's examine the long history of God's complete failure to do literally even the most simple tasks.

Literal God directly orders Adam & Eve: "You can do literally anything you want here except eat fruit from that one tree. That's it. That's literally the only rule you have to obey."
Adam & Eve: "okay sounds easy enough."
Snake: "lol eat the fruit off this tree"
Adam & Eve: "wow this is a good idea"

Fast forward a little.

Angels: "okay Lot. We're gonna blow this whole fucking place up by since we like you, you can take your family and go. There's just one rule, you can't look back."
Lot: "that should be easy enough I guess"
Lot's wife: (looks back)

Fast forward some more

God: asking nicely didn't work. Threatening didn't work. Maybe I just need to go real heavy on this shit. Moses, send these plagues for me.
Moses: sure thing boss. Everyone taste the wrath of God
Pharaoh: ok I give. You can go.
Moses: thanks
Pharaoh: lol jk get fucked Moses.
Moses: oh yeah? I'm gonna get God to split the fucking sea open and then use it to drown yourb whole army.
Pharaoh: Fuck
Moses: wow that was a huge ordeal. Now everyone, here's this list of 10 rules, but honestly only this first one here about not worshipping other Gods is the only one that really matters. Now I'm gonna take a piss behind this mountain, don't do anything stupid while I'm gone.
(Moses departs for 30 seconds, comes back)
Everyone: (already worshipping golden bull calf idol)

God: okay I give up fuck this.

Cuz god was like fuck these guys.

Tyranthraxus posted...

God: asking nicely didn't work. Threatening didn't work. Maybe I just need to go real heavy on this shit. Moses, send these plagues for me.
Moses: sure thing boss. Everyone taste the wrath of God
Pharaoh: ok I give. You can go.
Moses: thanks
Pharaoh: lol jk get fucked Moses.
Moses: oh yeah? I'm gonna get God to split the fucking sea open and then use it to drown yourb whole army.
Pharaoh: Fuck

Actually...
Pharaoh wanted to release them, but God decided to turn his heart into stone to prevent him from releasing them, just so God could fuck with him.

Foppe posted...

Actually...
Pharaoh wanted to release them, but God decided to turn his heart into stone to prevent him from releasing them, just so God could fuck with him.

But remember, free will is super important to God.

lilORANG posted...

But remember, free will is super important to God.

It is so important so he punishes you if you do whatever you want

I think God gave up on us

Cause they never happened. Very little in the Bible is explicitly true, some of it is outright forgery and lies, and a big chunk of it is completely unverifiable.

Run it down the line of major players:
Adam and Eve - fictional
Noah - Fictional
Abraham - fictional
Moses - fictional
Joshua - fictional
David - unclear, possibly euhemarized
Solomon - possibly existed, stories in the Bible about him completely untrue.
Daniel - fictional
Jesus - personally I think he's fictional, but if he actually was historical, practically nothing the Bible says about him is true
The Disciples - fictional as presented in Acts. Cephas and James are historical as referenced by Paul though. Possibly John too, but it's not clear if Paul's John is the same as Act's John
Paul - wow it took a while to get to someone verifiably historical, eh?

Why didn't God intervene when the black plague was killing 1/3rd of the human population, or when the Nazis were exterminating millions of people, or when the US dropped nukes on Japan

Rexdragon125 posted...

Why didn't God intervene when the black plague was killing 1/3rd of the human population, or when the Nazis were exterminating millions of people, or when the US dropped nukes on Japan

Surely you must have heard He has a plan.

Even as an omnipotent omnibenevolent deity sometimes you have to break a few eggs, right?

Right?