Current Events > When your incontinent father gets mad you won't spend time with him...

(+) Yeah! (+)

I spend at least 30 minutes a day mopping up the kitchen and living room (he sleeps on the couch, his choice, has been for almost as long as I remember), and the couch is... destroyed.

I was able to clean the kitchen chairs so theyre... presentable with a mini steam cleaner. But it will be an on going issue... and I tell him every day he needs to go to the hospital.

As soon as Im done mopping up today he calls me back. Whats he want? Someone to talk to for awhile.

I tell him I cant. Im already nauseous from mopping up and the smell. He just kind of groans... I tell him again I cant because I just mopped up after him.

He just waved me off like Im the problem.

Yay... thanks for that.

Ugh.

boomers

Robot2600 posted...

boomers

Hes not though? Hes too old.

He should be wearing adult diapers if he's incontinent. Really needs to go see a doctor for it as well. Definitely unfair to you to make you clean up after him.

Nirvanas_Nox posted...

He should be wearing adult diapers if he's incontinent. Really needs to go see a doctor for it as well. Definitely unfair to you to make you clean up after him.

He had cancer in the past that required him to wear the adult diapers. Hes decided he doesnt like wearing anything below the belt anymore. Ive tried many times, and I offer to take him to the hospital daily. I called the ambulance on him a few weeks ago so he could fight with them. But they couldnt force him to, nor can I.

Hes at least... warming up to the idea, or at least being placating. If it gets bad enough Ill go

I literally cant cook in this house because of the smell so Im forced to eat out.

What does he talk to you about?

Lost_All_Senses posted...

What does he talk to you about?

Movies, music, his time in the army, friends, family.

I try to talk to him but I have a weak stomach to smells. One day I literally couldnt eat for over 24 hours because of having to change his blanket.

ZangsBeard posted...

Movies, music, his time in the army, friends, family.

I try to talk to him but I have a weak stomach to smells. One day I literally couldnt eat for over 24 hours because of having to change his blanket.

Ah. Damn. That's a tough situation. Are you scared to offend him by taking some smell cancelling precautions that would come off very obvious?

Lost_All_Senses posted...

Ah. Damn. That's a tough situation. Are you scared to offend him by taking some smell cancelling precautions that would come off very obvious?

It wouldnt help and would make things worse for my wife and I. He cant smell it anymore... Im actually planning on buying an air purifier to put in there to possibly help. At least with that much.

Peppermint oil if it's as bad as you say it is. Rub some under your nose and maybe it's a bit bearable. But this can't be a permanent solution to your problem.

badjay posted...

Peppermint oil if it's as bad as you can say.

Id rather not until he starts cleaning himself. Some days are better than others

So he just shits all over the place uncontrollably? Sounds like he should be in an elderly care home

MC_BatCommander posted...

So he just shits all over the place uncontrollably? Sounds like he should be in an elderly care home

Cant afford it nor would he agree to it.

"Dad, I can only help you so much, and at some point you need to accept that I need you to help me help you"

xGhostchantx posted...

"Dad, I can only help you so much, and at some point you need to accept that I need you to help me help you"

I basically told him I could only help him so far when I called the ambulance. It made no difference. Hes stubborn.

I learned later that he repeatedly skipped his cancer appointments. He said he was in remission.

Thank you Rick and Morty for teaching me what incontinent means

ZangsBeard posted...

I basically told him I could only help him so far when I called the ambulance. It made no difference. Hes stubborn.

I learned later that he repeatedly skipped his cancer appointments. He said he was in remission.

That part is insanely messed up. I don't understand why he would lie to you about that. It sounds like he doesn't even care about his own health and is just mooching off your generosity. Sorry if that sounds harsh. Your a better man then me. I'd have had him out if my home the moment I learned about that.

Nirvanas_Nox posted...

That part is insanely messed up. I don't understand why he would lie to you about that. It sounds like he doesn't even care about his own health and is just mooching off your generosity. Sorry if that sounds harsh. Your a better man then me. I'd have had him out if my home the moment I learned about that.

The time frame isnt that. He had cancer while I lived out of state. I offered to drive up for his appointments but he hand neighbors taking him and hed call out. He says he was told he was in remission, which makes sense. It was doing quite good for awhile.

Even if he is taking advantage of me a bit, but I get to live here rent free to fix some other stuff with my life at the time. Just gotta vent

Im not really looking for fixes or anything. Hes an ornery old bastard who, as of now, wants to die with dignity in his own house.

ZangsBeard posted...

The time frame isnt that. He had cancer while I lived out of state. I offered to drive up for his appointments but he hand neighbors taking him and hed call out. He says he was told he was in remission, which makes sense. It was doing quite good for awhile.

Even if he is taking advantage of me a bit, but I get to live here rent free to fix some other stuff with my life at the time. Just gotta vent

Im not really looking for fixes or anything. Hes an ornery old bastard who, as of now, wants to die with dignity in his own house.

I can understand all of that. I'm not trying to sound rude btw. I will say I can't see the dignity of dying while constantly pooing myself lol

Nirvanas_Nox posted...

I can understand all of that. I'm not trying to sound rude btw. I will say I can't see the dignity of dying while constantly pooing myself lol

He kind of doesnt believe hes doing it... unless I point it out. Yeah, Ive pointed it out too.

oh well, I funneled my frustration into productivity.

I bought a Dyson air purifier to put in the kitchen to help with the smell, put together the electric shovel for tonights supposed storm, put my computer back together and started the leak test

and I FUCKING HATE CLEANING KEYBOARDS.

ZangsBeard posted...

The time frame isnt that. He had cancer while I lived out of state. I offered to drive up for his appointments but he hand neighbors taking him and hed call out. He says he was told he was in remission, which makes sense. It was doing quite good for awhile.

Even if he is taking advantage of me a bit, but I get to live here rent free to fix some other stuff with my life at the time. Just gotta vent

Im not really looking for fixes or anything. Hes an ornery old bastard who, as of now, wants to die with dignity in his own house.

I can understand needing to vent/it helping more than anything right now - feel free to share with CE :)