Current Events > Ex from SIX YEARS AGO sends me an email

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MrToothHasYou
12/13/22 5:07:45 PM
#1:


Apologizing for cheating on me. Which I of course knew about but she had always denied. Sent in an email of course because we've blocked each other on every single form of social media since shortly after the breakup.

What the fuck lmfao. I'm simultaneously so mad, and also I can't stop laughing. I feel like I'm losing my mind.

What did I do to deserve this bullshit lol

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RchHomieQuanChi
12/13/22 5:09:03 PM
#2:


From what I understand, this almost definitely means she's missing you and wants to rekindle something.


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#3
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#4
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TheSuperSilver
12/13/22 5:12:37 PM
#5:


Can we get a transcript TC?

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JTilly
12/13/22 5:13:53 PM
#6:


VoightKent posted...
It means she's fucked 20 other guys since then and wants to settle down now
Pulling the same move Jenny did to Forrest Gump. She probably even has hiv tooo, steer clear tc

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MC_BatCommander
12/13/22 5:13:58 PM
#7:


She trying to recruit you into selling Monat?

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MrToothHasYou
12/13/22 5:16:12 PM
#8:


RchHomieQuanChi posted...
From what I understand, this almost definitely means she's missing you and wants to rekindle something.
From what I understand, she can kick rocks. That shit went straight in the trash.

VoightKent posted...
It means she's fucked 20 other guys since then and wants to settle down now
She literally married the dude she cheated on me with lol. So it's possible that she's fucked 20 other dudes but she's technically been "settled down" for quite some time already.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

I guess, but my god, after six fucking years? And you have to send an e-mail because you're blocked every other which way? It boggles the mind.

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MrToothHasYou
12/13/22 5:28:29 PM
#9:


TheSuperSilver posted...
Can we get a transcript TC?
Not an exact one since I already deleted it, but the subject was "I'm Sorry" and it basically was two short paragraphs that said "I don't know if you still use this e-mail but I wanted to reach out because I was scrolling through Instagram and saw some old pics of us and was thinking about you. You were a great boyfriend and you always treated me with respect and were one of the few guys I've ever dated who didn't cheat or physically abuse me and I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry I cheated on you and lied about it when you caught me. You deserve better, I'm sorry I hurt you" etc.

It was a little more fleshed out than that but that was the gist of it.

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rexcrk
12/14/22 5:17:31 AM
#11:


MrToothHasYou posted...
Not an exact one since I already deleted it, but the subject was "I'm Sorry" and it basically was two short paragraphs that said "I don't know if you still use this e-mail but I wanted to reach out because I was scrolling through Instagram and saw some old pics of us and was thinking about you. You were a great boyfriend and you always treated me with respect and were one of the few guys I've ever dated who didn't cheat or physically abuse me and I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry I cheated on you and lied about it when you caught me. You deserve better, I'm sorry I hurt you" etc.

It was a little more fleshed out than that but that was the gist of it.


God why do girls do this shit? lmao.

You were so great to me and never mentally or physically abused me. but werent worth not doing that to tee hee gtfo here


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MabusIncarnate
12/14/22 5:18:56 AM
#12:


Maybe she found religion or went through recovery and making amends is part of the process. Guilt can weigh heavily, even if its 6 years later.

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Jiek_Fafn
12/14/22 6:24:25 AM
#14:


"Sorry about being a shitbag. I wanted you to know so that I can maybe feel like less of a shitbag."

It's selfish of her to send you that. That's a cathartic write it but never send type of message at best.

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TetsuoS2
12/14/22 6:41:56 AM
#16:


rexcrk posted...
God why do girls do this shit? lmao.

You were so great to me and never mentally or physically abused me. but werent worth not doing that to tee hee gtfo here

people are just strange in general.

you got people with abusive, alcoholic parents that eventually end up the same, despite hating them.

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masterbarf
12/14/22 6:48:59 AM
#17:


RchHomieQuanChi posted...
From what I understand, this almost definitely means she's missing you and wants to rekindle something.
Probably. Or she's in AA.

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action52
12/14/22 6:57:58 AM
#18:


Jiek_Fafn posted...
"Sorry about being a shitbag. I wanted you to know so that I can maybe feel like less of a shitbag."

It's selfish of her to send you that. That's a cathartic write it but never send type of message at best.
Yeah, looks like she's just trying to shed guilt. It's really shitty to do that out of the blue to someone you haven't contacted in years. I support people trying to change themselves and become less shitty people. But you shouldn't go running to the people you were shitty to, who probably want nothing to do with you.

If you're feeling generous, you could send her a message saying something like "Good for you that you're trying to be a better person. Great if you can accomplish that and bring happiness to yourself and others. I wish you happiness in your life, but I no longer want you as a part of mine. Never contact me again," then block her e-mail.

Or, just block her.

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Chadwick69
12/14/22 7:01:37 AM
#19:


I would talk to her again. It feels nice to let go of grudges when someone is genuinely repentant

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BloodMoon7
12/14/22 7:03:48 AM
#20:


Chadwick69 posted...
I would talk to her again. It feels nice to let go of grudges when someone is genuinely repentant
Not sure it's neccesarily about grudges so much as it's about not reopening old wounds. People want to move on, forgiveness isn't neccesarily a part of that.

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KiwiTerraRizing
12/14/22 7:20:16 AM
#21:


She needs money

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action52
12/14/22 7:26:29 AM
#22:


BloodMoon7 posted...
Not sure it's neccesarily about grudges so much as it's about not reopening old wounds. People want to move on, forgiveness isn't neccesarily a part of that.
There also is no telling how things will go with such a toxic person. Even assuming she's sincere... which she seems to be, but it could also be that her husband treated her like shit and she just wants to cheat on him or rebound after a terrible divorce...

Anyway, even if she's sincere, there's no guarantee that things will go well. When people like that ask for forgiveness, often they act like they are entitled to it. Or they get all patronizing and wonder why you're still hung up on all that bad stuff instead of being happy about what a good person they are now. Or they might try to gaslight you and twist the conversation into a discussion about how you were both wrong. Or some combination of the above, or some other shitty thing.

Like I said, a quick message saying you don't hold a grudge and wish her no harm is the most she should hope for, and more than she deserves.

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Lordgold666
12/14/22 8:29:57 AM
#23:


JTilly posted...
Pulling the same move Jenny did to Forrest Gump. She probably even has hiv tooo, steer clear tc
"Hey forrest now that youre a shrimp billionaire and im a single mother dying of aids im back lmao"

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K181
12/14/22 8:32:07 AM
#24:


https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/1419332870540308480?t=gLqq5d7_nUBNZyj6tzh5_A&s=19

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MrToothHasYou
12/14/22 1:02:17 PM
#25:


rexcrk posted...
God why do girls do this shit? lmao.

You were so great to me and never mentally or physically abused me. but werent worth not doing that to tee hee gtfo here
I mean I get the sentiment of wanting to apologize for things youve done. There are people Id love to reach out to and apologize for shitty things Ive done, too. But you dont actually do that. You just learn to live with the guilt of the bad shit youve done, and learn to forgive yourself instead of needing others to.

MabusIncarnate posted...
Maybe she found religion or went through recovery and making amends is part of the process. Guilt can weigh heavily, even if its 6 years later.
She never really drank much when we dated, and she was already having a sort of religious awakening before we started dating (shes Catholic, so, as much of an awakening as you can have with that, anyways) where she started practicing again. She did have some issues with an eating disorder but I dont think making amends is part of the recovery process for those lol.

Jiek_Fafn posted...
"Sorry about being a shitbag. I wanted you to know so that I can maybe feel like less of a shitbag."

It's selfish of her to send you that. That's a cathartic write it but never send type of message at best.
Exactly! You want to find absolution thats fine, I get it, but leave me the fuck out of it!

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Youd think that she and I have each other blocked on literally every other form of communication (including phone numbers) would be enough of a sign that Im not open to hashing this out, but, I guess where theres a will theres a way.

Chadwick69 posted...
I would talk to her again. It feels nice to let go of grudges when someone is genuinely repentant
Hell fuck no lol. There is absolutely no chance I will ever talk to her, ever again. She straight up gaslit me to the point I ended up in a mental hospital after she broke up with me. It took me years to move on. I would walk over broken glass before Id risk undoing all the healing that Ive done just to give her some closure.

BloodMoon7 posted...
Not sure it's neccesarily about grudges so much as it's about not reopening old wounds. People want to move on, forgiveness isn't neccesarily a part of that.
Exactly. She wants forgiveness she can go to her priest. I dont need to be involved.

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MrToothHasYou
12/14/22 1:07:06 PM
#26:


action52 posted...
There also is no telling how things will go with such a toxic person. Even assuming she's sincere... which she seems to be, but it could also be that her husband treated her like shit and she just wants to cheat on him or rebound after a terrible divorce...

Anyway, even if she's sincere, there's no guarantee that things will go well. When people like that ask for forgiveness, often they act like they are entitled to it. Or they get all patronizing and wonder why you're still hung up on all that bad stuff instead of being happy about what a good person they are now. Or they might try to gaslight you and twist the conversation into a discussion about how you were both wrong. Or some combination of the above, or some other shitty thing.

Like I said, a quick message saying you don't hold a grudge and wish her no harm is the most she should hope for, and more than she deserves.
100% on the nose here. Im not replying (I deleted the email almost immediately after reading it a few times just to make sure I wasnt going crazy) so hopefully for her sake she isnt holding her breath waiting for one.

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TaylorHeinicke
12/14/22 1:09:03 PM
#27:


Seems pretty self-serving.

You should accept the gesture, meet up with her, smash once or twice, then dump her cheating ass

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DrPrimemaster
12/14/22 1:13:18 PM
#28:


Good on you for immediately deleting it. Nothing good will come from keeping it, or replying.

Grats on the growth.

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Popcorn2000
12/14/22 2:14:03 PM
#30:


MabusIncarnate posted...
Maybe she found religion or went through recovery and making amends is part of the process. Guilt can weigh heavily, even if its 6 years later.
But this was clearly selfish. Reaching out after this long she just wants to make herself feel better. Thats not the point of asking forgiveness.
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WingsOfGood
12/14/22 2:17:14 PM
#31:


MrToothHasYou posted...
She literally married the dude she cheated on me with lol. So it's possible that she's f***ed 20 other dudes but she's technically been "settled down" for quite some time already.

She prob realized feelings fade and no longer is engaged in the marriage.
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bulletproofvita
12/14/22 2:22:25 PM
#32:


This really pisses me off lol.
Definitely do not reply she doesn't deserve one.


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FL81
12/14/22 2:41:57 PM
#33:


Accept her apology and forgive her

then tell her to never contact you again and block her

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MrToothHasYou
12/15/22 1:31:17 AM
#34:


bulletproofvita posted...
This really pisses me off lol.
Definitely do not reply she doesn't deserve one.
No lie, when I got it I was so mad that I literally felt like I was turning into the I am going to become the joker meme. Like I was laughing maniacally in near disbelief at the audacity of the whole thing. It took me a couple hours to like, process the whole thing because my brain completely melted.

FL81 posted...
Accept her apology and forgive her

then tell her to never contact you again and block her
lmao no, she will definitely not be hearing back from me. Not my circus, not my monkeys, as they say.

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#35
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MICHALECOLE
12/15/22 1:50:55 AM
#36:


She was just saying sorry

you can say sorry for doing shitty things
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gaminggamer13
12/15/22 1:52:58 AM
#37:


She clearly has mental issues, evidently unstable. That's the vibe I get.
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IfGodCouldDie
12/15/22 2:00:25 AM
#38:


MrToothHasYou posted...
I mean I get the sentiment of wanting to apologize for things youve done. There are people Id love to reach out to and apologize for shitty things Ive done, too. But you dont actually do that. You just learn to live with the guilt of the bad shit youve done
I wholeheartedly disagree with this. I personally would love if the people that have wronged me reached out to apologize. I don't hold grudges towards them but knowing that they have come to terms with the terrible shit they've done and are looking to make it right in someway would make me feel better about it because I can continue to move forward believing they aren't out there hurting others.

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