Current Events > What Are The Benefits Of Having Female Friends(As A Guy)?

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bsp77 posted...

So there is your problem... you view them as more of a potential sex pertner than as a friend.

Let me ask you this, were you dating anyone at the time or able to get sex if you wanted it? Maybe part of the reason I can have female friends is because I don't have an issue getting laid. I don't need to push my frustrations onto my friends.

I was not able to get sex in my early 20's. Because in my early 20's, I was afraid to ask out most people. Because in my early 20's, I was depressed and constantly crying about not having sex. Because forums like lookism or The Red Pill made me believe that you needed to have the top tier of looks or else women look down on you. Because the women I did approach in college, weren't interested or rejected me. Objectively I was more good looking in my early 20's but had 0 confidence. While I am drastically worse looking today, but currently do have enough social skills in my late 20's to hold a convo and be able to get a "date"

I got laid in my mid 20's. But the sex wasn't that good because I couldn't maintain an erection, and because I never even came close to finishing. and im afraid to have sex without a condom, so the sex in general probably wouldn't be eventful

bsp77 posted...

"Sex partner" is the wrong term, but not being able to be friends with women because you can't stop viewing them in a sexual manner is clearly an issue.

Is it really an issue? Seems like a way to avoid trouble for both parties.

Crow0000 posted...

I was not able to get sex in my early 20's. Because in my early 20's, I was afraid to ask anyone out. Because in my early 20's, I was depressed and constantly crying about not having sex. Because forums like lookism or The Red Pill made me believe that you needed to have the top tier of looks. Because the women I did approach in college, weren't interested or rejected me. Objectively I was more good looking in my early 20's. While I am drastically worse looking, but currently do have enough social skills in my late 20's to hold a convo.

I got laid in my mid 20's. But the sex wasn't that good because I couldn't maintain an erection, and because I never even came close to finishing. and im afraid to have sex without a condom, so the sex in general probably wouldn't be eventful.

Okay, sorry for bringing up a tough subject, but do you see how maybe your view on female friends was tarnished by this? Maybe if you had female friends now it would be different, as you are separated from that experience?

bsp77 posted...

"Sex partner" is the wrong term, but not being able to be friends with women because you can't stop viewing them in a sexual manner is clearly an issue.

back in my early 20's, with female friends I found physically attractive, i eventually fell for them

bsp77 posted...

Okay, sorry for bringing up a tough subject, but do you see how maybe your view on female friends was tarnished by this? Maybe if you had female friends now it would be different, as you are separated from that experience?

In an alternate universe where I had a good childhood with a healthy social life and played the field early and got dates/relationships in HS and college to help prepare me for how relationships are like in the real world.

then sure, maybe it would have been different.

they can hook you up with their friends. they can give you advice.

also if you need a date to a wedding or so and you're assed out, they can relieve you.

Crow0000 posted...

In an alternate universe where I had a good childhood with a healthy social life and played the field early and got dates/relationships in HS and college to help prepare me for how relationships are like in the real world.

then sure, maybe it would have been different.

But it sounds like things have changed some? To be blunt, you have some negative views toward women, and I understand where it comes from, but it is also important to recognize that and try to change. The amount I have changed throughout my life is crazy, much of it since I turned 40 (I am now 45).

And I do apologize if my previous comment about sex was rude.

Crow0000 posted...

I can't tell a woman friend "you need to lose weight, you're getting fat". But no one would bat an eye if I told my guy friend he's gaining weight or getting fat. Society themselves makes it more acceptable to call out men for flaws or to be blunt with men.

In fact, people get annoyed if the guy tells his critics to shut the fuck up. As someone not interested in anyone else's input on their life, especially from people who have serious problems themselves, I've found myself in a bunch of arguments in real life with those who really ought to mind their own business. And then they get offended when you point out their own flaws.

I feel that if a woman isn't actually troubling anyone else people are more likely to leave her be.

I was going to say, it's easier to have guy friends, just on the basis of not needing to hold back what you're really thinking on that sort of "you got fat" basis,

but

I've never actually had an intimate friendship with a woman that didn't result in some sort of sexually-related relationship termination. I've had a lot of coworkers who were great, I'd consider them friends in that context, but only that context.

Probably something ADHD related, but having something tempting and being told not to have it drives me nuts. Like, I have to avoid the bakery section so as to not think of muffins for the next two hours. For some people, it really is just better to manage shit via avoidance.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


"Not having a friendship" is a very different thing from "avoiding (over) half the population"

I am entirely certain I am tolerated by a wider range of people than you are.