Current Events > So...casually talking about marriage happens before actually proposing, right?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Like, there's usually discussion about it before just busting out the ring out of nowhere, even if it feels like it's going to be a guaranteed "yes".

In most relationships, yes that's stuff you talk about along with how many kids if any and other life goals to make sure both are headed in the same direction or know how to compromise.

If youve been in a relationship long enough to propose, then you should have already discussed your thoughts on marriage and your timeline for having kids.

Should be these days yes. At the very least a mutual understanding that's what both people want. Although never underestimate weirdos who do it early out of desperation.

Absolutely. Maybe not in tons of detail, but you should have at least briefly talk about wanting to get married, before you propose.

Yes

And you should live together too

Sometimes. Wasn't a discussion with my wife; neither was having kids. But we had lived together for about 5 years before we got married.

One time I proposed to the girl who bagged my groceries and she said no :\

It is completely normal to have a casual discussion about it, and only a psychopath asshole would randomly propose without having even a discussion about the future.

If a proposal comes completely out of the blue, it's not a good sign for the relationship

Yes.

Life isn't a sitcom or a Tiktok video where you just spring a proposal on someone without having a general idea that the answer will be "yes".

I mean... my ex and I talked about it before she proposed. It's not a guarantee of a long, happy marriage though...

Yes. Trying to surprise someone with it is a recipe for disaster, you have to make sure that you're both on the same page. And if she says no, the relationship won't be the same

_Rinku_ posted...

I mean... my ex and I talked about it before she proposed. It's not a guarantee of a long, happy marriage though...

Did you talk about kids? who is taking care of them or if you will have a nanny? Did you previously live together for a while?

People that live together before marrying have a better chance at success than those who get married earlier. At least that is my opinion.

RlP posted...

Did you talk about kids? who is taking care of them or if you will have a nanny? Did you previously live together for a while?

People that live together before marrying have a better chance at success than those who get married earlier. At least that is my opinion.

Yeah. Neither of us wanted kids. We had lived together for about a year when she proposed. We had been together for ten years when we made it official.

Yes

Um, yeah. The only people who propose without discussing it first are ones (generally men) who messed up and are trying to make up for it lol

DipDipDiver posted...

Yes. Trying to surprise someone with it is a recipe for disaster, you have to make sure that you're both on the same page. And if she says no, the relationship won't be the same

(not a she, but someone who was proposed to)

I actually did say no the first time. I wanted to be married to her, but I thought we were both too young (I was only twenty at the time). There were also a ton of financial issues to consider (primarily that she had serious chronic health issues and us getting married would result in her losing her insurance).

I remember thinking it over when she asked and ultimately coming to the conclusion that I had to say no, for her sake, no matter how much I wanted it. Of course, then she threw a fit because she had told some of her friends that she was going to ask and now she was embarrassed. We actually almost broke up over that. In hindsight, I wish we had.