Current Events > Dad is at it again(long rant and TLDR inside).

(+) Yeah! (+)

We all got into a huge argument last night over the way he's been treating us. He sits here all day, every day insulting us and the rest of our family. Telling us we aren't earning our keep so he should get rid of us(he's the one who contributes nothing to household). Griping constantly, and I literally mean constant. It never ends. If he doesn't get exactly what he wants(like cookies, or dinner carried to him) he goes off. He wants 100% of our time and money devoted to him, and if it's not then he explodes on us.

Last night, mom's sister said some hurtful things to her. Which really upset her, so she complained about it. He told her that she needed to "shut the fuck up" That didn't go over very well, and she told him that he's the one that needs to shut up. The thing is, none of us are allowed to say anything or criticize him at all. So that immediately set him into rage mode. Cussing at her for making him miserable for an hour with her complaints.

So, she pointed out all the constant nonstop pathetic things he cries about all day long(wanting ice cream, us not giving him money to buy a fishing pole or gun). That we have to listen to him nonstop, but he can't handle an hour of her being upset over something that actually matters.

So, of course he's got nothing but insults for her and calling her useless and pathetic. That's when I joined in, pointing out that he's the one who spends all day long napping and stuffing his face with food that we buy. That's he's the only one who pays no bills here, contributes nothing to the household, and is constantly begging us for money and to buy him stuff. That got me a ton of insults slung at me. So I reminded him that we literally saved his life 2 times. Both times we had to drag his unconscious body out of the house and get him to the ER. Told him that he owes us his life two times over and needs to show some appreciation for us and what we do for him. But of course, "there's nothing to appreciate. You don't appreciate me enough." And "I don't owe you shit."

So after a volley of more insults thrown at me, I pointed out all the extremely illegal things he's done over the years, and all the immoral ones like constantly cheating and lying. That he should be rotting in prison, and would be dead in the ground without us. He's unable to do anything without one of us there to help him or do it for him, he's nothing without us.

At that point we'd all been yelling and screaming at each other for like 20 minutes. Things settled down. But then I heard him cussing at her in a much quieter tone, I guess trying to do it without me hearing(I was in another room). So, I yelled back at him that he needed to shut the fuck up, that I was sick of hearing him bitch at her like that. He tried it like 3 more times to quietly cuss her, but each time I confronted him over it. Then he eventually just went to bed without another word. I'm not putting with this any more.

I half expected to be executed in the middle of the night though. This man is legit narcissistic psychopath. At a couple of points he threw out "I'm not your real father." So I just countered with "That's the best news I could ever get." Like, why on earth would that bother me? It bothers me that I have an uncaring, unloving, abusive father. If he's just some ass hole that lives here, I have no problem hating him. He is my father though, there's no question about that. He just thinks that would somehow hurt me.

Anyway... TLDR:
Abusive ass hole father is acting like an abusive ass hole again. He can dish it out, but can't take it at all.

If you are over 18 you dont have to put ip with him

Bro what

thx1138 posted...

If you are over 18 you dont have to put ip with him

Mid 30s based on the account.

It would be interesting to hear his side of the story because the way you treat him isn't all rainbows and unicorns either. That's messed up.

Dude just split town, if you get a job you can live almost anywhere in the US. Grocery stores and the like are usually hiring.

pick4six posted...

It would be interesting to hear his side of the story because the way you treat him isn't all rainbows and unicorns either. That's messed up.

if you've read Koga's other posts, he's suffered extreme abuse from his dad (physical, emotional, psychological) since he was a very young kid

g0ldie posted...

if you've read Koga's other posts, he's suffered extreme abuse from his dad (physical, emotional, psychological) since he was a very young kid

But if he's mid 30s like a different post claims why is he still there? I mean at some point you gotta just leave for your own sake.

You gotta be at the age where you know you have resources to either remove your self or your father from the situation.

Dad seems like he has major deep seeded psychological trauma himself.

not remote excusing his behavior - mind you. But that man is clearly not well in the head, at all.

I4NRulez posted...

But if he's mid 30s like a different post claims why is he still there? I mean at some point you gotta just leave for your own sake.

You gotta be at the age where you know you have resources to either remove your self or your father from the situation.

idk, maybe he's also looking out for his mom/rest of family

I know it's not that simple, but why do you help this guy out and not have him rotting in jail considering all the shit he's done? Just recalling some other posts you've made about him, he sounds like an absolute monster

Im sorry you have to deal with someone like this in your life. Seems like he just ruins it for you and your mom

As someone who has dealt with an abusive father myself, time to move out and cut him out of your life. The stress and walking on eggshells all day is absolutely killer. Even if you get a shitty one bedroom apartment you'll be so much happier not dealing with that bullshit.

I moved out suddenly after a massive argument over literally shampoo (I was being blamed for using his girlfriend's shampoo, lmao) came to a head, and then in Dec 2021 cut all communication from him after Christmas. He went on some drunken bender for two days just sending me and my younger brother nonstop abuse/hate messages and 'world war 3 is coming' nonsense. >_>

Cut him out of your life and your mom's. Completely. There's no other solution than this, and it needs to happen. Move away, get a restraining order if you have to, and erase him.

pick4six posted...

It would be interesting to hear his side of the story because the way you treat him isn't all rainbows and unicorns either. That's messed up.

I know there's always two dudes to every story. I always try to remain objective between two people, but in this case he has no defense. Me, mom, my brother, and my cousin can't all come to the same wrong conclusion.

He did work hard in his younger days, as a construction worker. I have to give him that. But when his paycheck is his, and he goes on trios with his friends leaving his wife and 2 young children with no food at home. Then beats us when he returns and ask if he can buy a loaf of bread, because we're not entitled to the money that he works for. But now that he's older and retired, all the money we earn is to be spent on him. While we wait hand and foot on his every whim so he doesn't have to lift a finger. He literally calls himself our king and thinks we are his servants. Not joking, he actually declared himself king and if he has to even get his own plate of food rather than having it carried to him(while insulting us while we do it), he throws a fit.

chrono625 posted...

Dad seems like he has major deep seeded psychological trauma himself.

I wouldn't say it's trauma. But mental illness does run in his family. He's absolutely an unrelenting narcissist, he has no empathy whatsoever and no one outside of him matters. His mother spoiled him, his brother's spoiled him. He's simply an over entitled spoiled manchild who thinks screaming and violence will get him what he wants.

Once when he was younger, he literally shot his brother for calling him spoiled. He would've killed him if his other brothers didn't step in and mess up his aim. Instead of shooting him in the back like he tried, he hit him in the leg.
Then there's the time he tried the same on me, but we got the gun away and tried beating/strangling me to death instead. The reason he tried killing me? Mom spent like 15 minutes with me in my room watching a movie. He thought she was choosing me over him, so I needed to die.

g0ldie posted...

idk, maybe he's also looking out for his mom/rest of family

This is half of it. I'd never forgive myself if I left her here and something happened to her.

The other half is because I'm just not strong/brave enough to leave. I'll say that I've been broken and have no will left... But really I'm just a weakling.