Current Events > What is it like having a father in your life?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Preferably, one that actually loved and cared about you. Just wondering what that's like.

I have a father and I also cant tell you.

Kitt posted...

Preferably, one that actually loved and cared about you.

Woooooow

Yeah I feel it. Only met mine a handful of times, and never really had a substantial relationship with him.

Really only showed me the kind of father I dont want to be.

Love and caring never really translated to me the way the psychological/verbal/emotional abuse and severe mental illness did... Haven't spoken to him in several years and I literally have not missed him even slightly or for a moment since cutting him off. My only regret is that I didn't do it much earlier in life, but it's not even a strong regret. He was mostly tolerable when he was on meds, but even then, I let him be a part of my life mostly out of a sense of obligation and I would have felt guilty if I hadn't.

FigureOfSpeech posted...

Love and caring never really translated to me the way the psychological/verbal/emotional abuse and severe mental illness did... Haven't spoken to him in several years and I literally have not missed him even slightly or for a moment since cutting him off. My only regret is that I didn't do it much earlier in life, but it's not even a strong regret. He was mostly tolerable when he was on meds, but even then, I let him be a part of my life mostly out of a sense of obligation and I would have felt guilty if I hadn't.

:(

lww99 posted...

Yeah I feel it. Only met mine a handful of times, and never really had a substantial relationship with him.

Really only showed me the kind of father I dont want to be.

If I ever met mine, I was too young to remember. Shit sucks, man.

Pretty cool. I know I'm fortunate

Think about how many jrpg protagonists have a father who is alive and who is already on good terms with them prior to the story beginning.

Sure, you COULD have a functional and healthy relationship. Or you could have a chance at being awesome.

gunplagirl posted...

Think about how many jrpg protagonists have a father who is alive and who is already on good terms with them prior to the story beginning.

Sure, you COULD have a functional and healthy relationship. Or you could have a chance at being awesome.

I can't think of many Jrpg protagonists to begin with.

Kitt posted...

Preferably, one that actually loved and cared about you. Just wondering what that's like.

Couldn't tell you.

My dad was completely out of my life by the time I was a teenager. He died when I was 26. I didn't even go to his funeral and I've no idea where he's buried.

No idea, never met the guy. He's a stranger.

When my dad was around he just abused me for his amusement and used me like a slave.

Mine is not good. He always blamed me for him not being happy in life. He's absolutely selfish and wouldn't give mom any of "his" money to feed us. So we had to go hungry while he was out partying with his friends and family. He'd come home to scream and beat us up.

He always told me that I'm not worth anything to anyone, that no one would ever love me, and that he wishes I was dead. That if I died, he'd go to my grave and piss on it and dance all the way home.

He has always been ashamed of me. He never let me out of the house out of fear that someone he knew would see me and see how pathetic of a son I am. Any time I did see anyone, he was constantly insulting me to let them know that he also disapproved of me.

I know I am just unfortunate to have such a person as a father, but I really would have just rather not had one at all. I understand that had it's own disadvantages and problems as well, but faced with daily physical and emotional abuse that seems preferable.

He did eventually attempt to murder me. Well, he'd passively tried to kill me before that, but one night he lost it. Mom stopped by my bedroom and saw I was watching a movie, so sat with me for like 10-15 minutes and watched too. That was too much for him. When she went to the living room he was furious that she was choosing time with me over him. That I wasn't worth spending time with, and his it's an insult to him for her to spend time with me. So he decided he'd just kill me and solve the problem.

By that point I knew things were going to be violent, so I went to living room to stop him from hurting her. When he saw me, he grabbed his pistol and started putting bullets in it saying he'd blow my brains out. Mom tried knock the bullets away and he tried to hit her. So I ran over and it became fist fight over the gun. Then when he dropped it, he tackled me to the ground and started beating me. Worse than usual, he was literally trying to kill me. After a minute of brawling he ended up on top of me, strangling me. I was trying to punch him in the face to get him to back off, but mom jumped in and held my arms telling not to fight him. I guess he loosened up, or she pried his hands away because next thing I know I can break free. I grab the phone and call 911. I got tackled to the ground again and he crushed the phone.

Cops arrived way too late to have been helpful, like 45 minutes later. Saw me all bloodied up with ripped clothes and asked dad what happened. He said I had a bad attitude and he adjusted it for me. So despite me telling them what happened, they just put it down as a domestic disturbance and left. They left us with him.

Some more stuff happened after, but it's nothing like what happened before they arrived.

Like warm apple pie wait what was the question again?

KogaSteelfang posted...

Mine is not good. He always blamed me for him not being happy in life. He's absolutely selfish and wouldn't give mom any of "his" money to feed us. So we had to go hungry while he was out partying with his friends and family. He'd come home to scream and beat us up.

He always told me that I'm not worth anything to anyone, that no one would ever love me, and that he wishes I was dead. That if I died, he'd go to my grave and piss on it and dance all the way home.

He has always been ashamed of me. He never let me out of the house out of fear that someone he knew would see me and see how pathetic of a son I am. Any time I did see anyone, he was constantly insulting me to let them know that he also disapproved of me.

I know I am just unfortunate to have such a person as a father, but I really would have just rather not had one at all. I understand that had it's own disadvantages and problems as well, but faced with daily physical and emotional abuse that seems preferable.

He did eventually attempt to murder me. Well, he'd passively tried to kill me before that, but one night he lost it. Mom stopped by my bedroom and saw I was watching a movie, so sat with me for like 10-15 minutes and watched too. That was too much for him. When she went to the living room he was furious that she was choosing time with me over him. That I wasn't worth spending time with, and his it's an insult to him for her to spend time with me. So he decided he'd just kill me and solve the problem.

By that point I knew things were going to be violent, so I went to living room to stop him from hurting her. When he saw me, he grabbed his pistol and started putting bullets in it saying he'd blow my brains out. Mom tried knock the bullets away and he tried to hit her. So I ran over and it became fist fight over the gun. Then when he dropped it, he tackled me to the ground and started beating me. Worse than usual, he was literally trying to kill me. After a minute of brawling he ended up on top of me, strangling me. I was trying to punch him in the face to get him to back off, but mom jumped in and held my arms telling not to fight him. I guess he loosened up, or she pried his hands away because next thing I know I can break free. I grab the phone and call 911. I got tackled to the ground again and he crushed the phone.

Cops arrived way too late to have been helpful, like 45 minutes later. Saw me all bloodied up with ripped clothes and asked dad what happened. He said I had a bad attitude and he adjusted it for me. So despite me telling them what happened, they just put it down as a domestic disturbance and left. They left us with him.

Some more stuff happened after, but it's nothing like what happened before they arrived.

hooly...Im sorry you went through that. In upbrings such as that, youre way better off without a father. Hope you're well after all that.

CARRRNE_ASADA posted...

hooly...Im sorry you went through that. In upbrings such as that, youre way better off without a father. Hope you're well after all that.

Nah, I ended up an emotionally damaged, socially stunted, self loathing, forever alone. Just like he said I would.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

I've posted about it quite a few times. Guess you just missed it then.