Current Events > how much does looks matter to you in a relationship?

(+) Yeah! (+)

I've been talking to this woman for a while now. Honestly she's great. We have a lot in common, she's fun to talk to, our conversations are so natural. I like her a lot.

But the one problem is that she's very plain looking. 5/10. She also wears these glasses that make her nerdy, which it doesn't help. I really hate to say this, but her average appearance bothers me a little bit.

In my opinion, looks do have some importance in a relationship, but it isn't a deal breaker. I'm not expecting a 10/10, but I do have to draw the line somewhere, and this woman I'm seeing is very close to that line. Again, outside of that, she's great.

What do you guys think? You can comment about my story, or just give your opinion about my question. You can even tell me your story and I'll comment

Get her a makeover

It sounds like it is definitely actually a dealbreaker for you if its literally the only thing making you question your relationship

They dont matter to me at all. They never have. If I love someone's personality, that's enough. If I hate someone's personality, then they just dont look appealing to me either.

None of the above.

It matters. It is not the most important thing. But it IS a dealbreaker -- If i am not attracted to someone, I cannot be with them.

Keep in mind that what I think is attractive may not necessarily be what the next guy finds attractive, and vice versa.

Tropendrope posted...

It sounds like it is definitely actually a dealbreaker for you if its literally the only thing making you question your relationship

I think you're right. If she were a 6/10, literally just one point higher, I probably would be fine with it. I feel shallow making this my deal breaker, and I don't think she's ugly either. She's right in the middle. Average. My thought process is, imagine if I met a woman 6 years later, and she's prettier and equally as great.

R1masher posted...

Get her a makeover

That wouldn't be right for me to try to change someone. I'm imposing my preferences of looks on her, when that is her decision.

looks to get me interested to wanting to date in her in the first place, personality for staying long term.

I mean I have been interested in 5/10s too face wise, starting off as friends.

Anyone who is a average is going to be raised like two points with make up.

they matter to me but i'm also hot. if you're not hot you don't get to care imo.

only like 3 much

Naysaspace posted...

None of the above.

It matters. It is not the most important thing. But it IS a dealbreaker -- If i am not attracted to someone, I cannot be with them.

Keep in mind that what I think is attractive may not necessarily be what the next guy finds attractive, and vice versa.

This is a good point. There's no official flowchart on what is considered attractive and what isn't, unlike what some people think.

Senta posted...

They dont matter to me at all. They never have. If I love someone's personality, that's enough. If I hate someone's personality, then they just dont look appealing to me either.

Would it be weird interacting with people who are better looking than your significant other?

Looks are fine, but chemistry is far more important

Average or even kinda bad is fine, but there are limits.

Looks only matter when it comes to initial attraction. I've dated girls I didn't find attractive initially.

40% looks 60% personality.

They don't matter to me at all.

The few times I ever developed a romantic attachment to someone, it was before I even knew what any of them looked like.

Chunky posted...

I feel shallow making this my deal breaker, and I don't think she's ugly either.

Nah, you have preferences, as well as standards that include dealbreakers. Everybody has em. Thats Ok.

Depends on whether or not I'm the expected successor.

It matters to me but not a deal breaker. I've had relationships with women who didn't have the hottest body but I had an instant connection with her. I would say 65% looks 35% chemistry/connection.

Listen.... when I go to the bar, I don't go for the 10.... I go for the 6 and drink until she's an 8. In all honesty, I think looks somewhat matter, but its not a deal breaker if someone is average.

The deal breaker for me is "Hi my name is XXXX and I just got divorced and have 6 kids. I'm not looking for a support for them, but I would like to get to know someone".

Matters to an extent like, basic hygiene and an active lifestyle.

Sixes can be fixed and most of the population is at least a six.

Barely matters. Im no looker and I don't want shallowness to make me stand in the way of my own happiness. But Ive yet to find a person who has been able to strip away 100% of shallowness. Including me.