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Current Events > You get a million dollars, but you have to sloppily make out with J.K. Rowling

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BustedLavaLamp
10/21/22 1:54:54 PM
#1:


For 30 straight minutes. No breaks for water. You must remain connected by the lips and tongue. Also, it's televised for the whole world to see. At the end, you will be awarded a million dollars. Do you do it?
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gatorsPENSbucs
10/21/22 1:56:10 PM
#2:


For a million bucks, sure. Only issue might be the 30 minutes.

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Foppe
10/21/22 1:57:10 PM
#3:


Does she want it?

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Naysaspace
10/21/22 1:57:22 PM
#4:


Would that make me a transphobe in the eyes of all the anonymous heroes online that go out of their way to bring her up all the time?
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Master_Bass
10/21/22 1:57:31 PM
#5:


Yeah, that would be incredibly boring for 30 minutes, but I could do it for a million dollars.

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Darker_Cheshire
10/21/22 1:57:42 PM
#6:


Easily, and donate at least half of it to trans rights organizations.

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Lost_All_Senses
10/21/22 1:58:19 PM
#7:


Foppe posted...
Does she want it?

This is a very good question. Im not sexually assaulting someone for a paycheck

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BustedLavaLamp
10/21/22 1:59:21 PM
#8:


Foppe posted...
Does she want it?
Yes, she has never been hornier for somebody in her life.
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Lost_All_Senses
10/21/22 2:01:08 PM
#9:


BustedLavaLamp posted...
Yes, she has never been hornier for somebody in her life.
Ill do it for free just to feel loved. Im sad. Im a sad boy. I'll take bigot love.

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NoxObscuras
10/21/22 2:01:33 PM
#10:


Pass. I don't think I could be into it enough to keep going for 30 minutes straight. If it was someone less terrible, then maybe. But not with her of all people.

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BustedLavaLamp
10/21/22 2:24:25 PM
#11:


<3
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MedeaLysistrata
10/21/22 2:24:42 PM
#12:


Lost_All_Senses posted...
Ill do it for free just to feel loved. Im sad. Im a sad boy. I'll take bigot love.


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googs19
10/21/22 2:27:17 PM
#13:


Getting paid a million dollars for getting to have her make out passionately with a trans woman live on TV for 30 minutes sounds worthwhile.
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WingsOfGood
10/21/22 2:28:22 PM
#14:


she will retcon Harry Potter to be me
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Questionmarktarius
10/21/22 2:28:58 PM
#15:


half an hour?
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comicfire
10/21/22 2:30:22 PM
#16:


googs19 posted...
Getting paid a million dollars for getting to have her make out passionately with a trans woman live on TV for 30 minutes sounds worthwhile.


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BustedLavaLamp
10/21/22 2:31:21 PM
#17:


Sorry, I should have specified. If you are straight, you will be awarded a million dollars. If you are anything other than, you will only receive $50,000, and you have to smooch her for 45 minutes.
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comicfire
10/21/22 2:32:39 PM
#18:


I got in before the clarification, I'm still a millionaire!

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But you can call me Erika~
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BustedLavaLamp
10/21/22 2:44:52 PM
#19:


comicfire posted...
I got in before the clarification, I'm still a millionaire!
Okay, fine, you are grandfathered in!
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bigblu89
10/21/22 2:50:05 PM
#20:


If my wife says it's OK, sure why not.

I'd take $135k-ish and pay off my mortgage, then give the rest to LGBTQ+ charities.

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IfGodCouldDie
10/21/22 3:06:28 PM
#21:


NoxObscuras posted...
Pass. I don't think I could be into it enough to keep going for 30 minutes straight. If it was someone less terrible, then maybe. But not with her of all people.
Really she is your not her of all people

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radical_rhino
10/21/22 3:21:17 PM
#22:


Fuck yeah. Ill donate half my earnings to my mortgage, and the other half to my new classic car collection.

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Southernfatman
10/21/22 3:26:59 PM
#23:


She might be an ugly person on the inside, but she's still pretty milf-tastic on the outside.

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Jennywentnorth8
10/21/22 3:30:23 PM
#24:


I mean I'll def pop a mad boner on TV so that kinda sucks but eh, nobody I know would tease me that much especially since they also know I am a millionaire now and Christmas is right around the corner.
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garan
10/21/22 3:32:48 PM
#25:


gatorsPENSbucs posted...
For a million bucks, sure. Only issue might be the 30 minutes.


Same.
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#26
Post #26 was unavailable or deleted.
Evolician
10/21/22 4:30:35 PM
#27:


Need pics to decide

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silverpine
10/21/22 4:31:15 PM
#28:


i dont even like making out with my wife
but a million dollars, fine.
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#29
Post #29 was unavailable or deleted.
BustedLavaLamp
10/21/22 6:38:52 PM
#30:


[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

57 long years to know how to suck your tongue out of your face.
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Kakapo
10/21/22 6:41:30 PM
#31:


Can JK Rowling tap out before the 30 mins is up?

If not, I eat a whole head of dried garlic, have some canned tuna and a peanut butter sandwich beforehand.

I also dont brush my teeth that morning.

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omega_cookie
10/21/22 6:43:35 PM
#32:


Can I go further? I have a super strange attraction to her. I'll take half the money to blow out that ass. Fuck, I'll do it for free.

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Forest_Temple
10/21/22 6:53:41 PM
#33:


BustedLavaLamp posted...
Yes, she has never been hornier for somebody in her life.
Id eat her ass for a million dollars
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BustedLavaLamp
10/21/22 7:21:22 PM
#34:


Kakapo posted...
Can JK Rowling tap out before the 30 mins is up?

If not, I eat a whole head of dried garlic, have some canned tuna and a peanut butter sandwich beforehand.

I also dont brush my teeth that morning.
No, she is contractually obligated to do the 30 minutes. But you arent allowed to eat anything other than the PB&J.

omega_cookie posted...
Can I go further? I have a super strange attraction to her. I'll take half the money to blow out that ass. Fuck, I'll do it for free.
Yes, if you fuck her for eight hours straight (no breaks, no Viagra if you lose your boner, you forfeit), you get $5million.
Forest_Temple posted...
Id eat her ass for a million dollars
Me too.
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garan
10/21/22 7:23:36 PM
#35:


BustedLavaLamp posted...
Yes, if you fuck her for eight hours straight (no breaks, no Viagra if you lose your boner, you forfeit), you get $5million.


I don't think that's physically possible. If you removed the boner restriction & counted oral sex, it would be doable though.
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Gretgrab
10/21/22 7:50:54 PM
#36:


Absolutely.

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omega_cookie
10/21/22 7:52:56 PM
#37:


BustedLavaLamp posted...
Yes, if you fuck her for eight hours straight (no breaks, no Viagra if you lose your boner, you forfeit), you get $5million.
I'm going to give her the least satisfying 15 minutes of her life.

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thx1138
10/21/22 7:53:11 PM
#38:


Darker_Cheshire posted...
Easily, and donate at least half of it to trans rights organizations.

easily for me too but im not donating any of it

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BakiHanma462
10/21/22 7:56:24 PM
#39:


Thats too easy!
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BustedLavaLamp
10/21/22 8:22:21 PM
#40:


BakiHanma462 posted...
Thats too easy!
Yeah but but but shes a bigot!!
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omega_cookie
10/21/22 8:23:40 PM
#41:


BustedLavaLamp posted...
Yeah but but but shes a bigot!!
She can rest her big 'ots in my fuckin face girl.

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ThatAEWFanDude
10/21/22 8:25:11 PM
#42:


Probably not worth it due to the backlash afterwards. I think don't even explaining 'I only did it for the money, I swear!' would calm these people down.

If I was gonna permanently ruin my reputation that way, at the very least I'd make out/have sex with Gina Carano.
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thx1138
10/21/22 9:00:22 PM
#43:


ThatAEWFanDude posted...
Probably not worth it due to the backlash afterwards. I think don't even explaining 'I only did it for the money, I swear!' would calm these people down.

If I was gonna permanently ruin my reputation that way, at the very least I'd make out/have sex with Gina Carano.

give me a million and the backlash would not bother me


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There ain't nothing to it but to do it
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PiOverlord
10/21/22 9:02:17 PM
#44:


Of course

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BustedLavaLamp
10/22/22 7:08:29 AM
#45:


thx1138 posted...
give me a million and the backlash would not bother me
Same. Give me $5,000 and the backlash wouldnt faze me. Im cheap.
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pegusus123456
10/22/22 7:10:41 AM
#46:


BustedLavaLamp posted...
Sorry, I should have specified. If you are straight, you will be awarded a million dollars. If you are anything other than, you will only receive $50,000, and you have to smooch her for 45 minutes.
That's dumb, seems like we LGBT people should get more money for putting up with her.

ThatAEWFanDude posted...
Probably not worth it due to the backlash afterwards. I think don't even explaining 'I only did it for the money, I swear!' would calm these people down.

If I was gonna permanently ruin my reputation that way, at the very least I'd make out/have sex with Gina Carano.
At the end of it, just call her a TERF to her face and look at the camera and say, "Trans right are human rights."

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rexcrk
10/22/22 7:30:53 AM
#47:


Naysaspace posted...
Would that make me a transphobe in the eyes of all the anonymous heroes online that go out of their way to bring her up all the time?


*snickers*


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rexcrk
10/22/22 7:31:25 AM
#48:




For a million bucks? Hell yeah.


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BustedLavaLamp
10/22/22 7:46:29 AM
#49:


pegusus123456 posted...
That's dumb, seems like we LGBT people should get more money for putting up with her.

At the end of it, just call her a TERF to her face and look at the camera and say, "Trans right are human rights."

If you do this, you will not be awarded the prize money. Bullying of any kind will not be tolerated in this hypothetical situation. Also, if you do this, not only will you be poor, but youll find out she gave you herpes.

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Big_Nabendu
10/22/22 7:52:01 AM
#50:


I'll do it for free.
Just to be clear, I am not a harry pooter fan btw. I never seen any movie. When I was a lot younger many years ago, I read halfway through the first book and put it down cause it was dreadfully boring.

But she can get it.

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