Current Events > Just had a first date with someone on tinder

(+) Yeah! (+)

Had a good time and knew she had a flood time too Asked for a second date after I got home nd she said she'd just wasn't feeling much chemistry and she would love for me to be friends and show her around.

Sigh. 4 dates this year with nothing past the first date. I have her number, but I unmatched her.

Maybe I was just not flirtacious enough and more conservative? I don't get what women/people want these days. Do they really expect some kind of hue spark and grand romantic gestures on the first date?

Arcanine2009 posted...

and she would love for me to be friends and show her around.

Is she new to (wherever you are)?

Just reading this makes you sound boring.

consider using something other than tinder

Well that's an unfortunate typo.

Anyway, there's very little you can do to force people to click with you. So much of the dating game is luck.

Arcanine2009 posted...

expect some kind of huge spark

ya kinda

Arcanine2009 posted...

Do they really expect some kind of hue spark and grand romantic gestures on the first date?

No, they are just seeing what they might like in you and not really feeling it. It happens.

It's not necessarily a critique on you.

Move on, that's the only thing in your control

TheMikh posted...

consider using something other than tinder

This. Tinder is a sex site, not a relationship one.

Anteaterking posted...

Is she new to (wherever you are)?

she's new to the country (3 years) and new to the area.

Flockaveli posted...

Just reading this makes you sound boring.

huh?We met at a boba shop and grabbed some boba and some snacks and walked in the town towards tbe beach. She kept asking me questions and I'd answer and followed. We talked about a lot of things non stop and never had an awkward silence. I felt a connection. I shared some cultural things about my stuff and tried to relate to hers. I know I didn't say anything offensive or anything if that nature

Besides just not being flirtacious, there might have been some things I've said that made me sound insecure or something for apologizing for some things.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

On her profile, she said she was looking ideally for a relationship.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


bloodydeath0 posted...

ya kinda

I think people need to realize that.. Dates aren't like rom coms. Some people have some stupid high standards and many expect to have the same spark/interest as an old crush or their last date, but it doesn't always work like that. People should be patient and understand some are slow burners..

But I'll take this loss. Maybe I did something or maybe I didn't and she didn't feel a connection. I'll take that loss. But man It hurts though. Building up 2-3 weeks of conversations to someone you are attracted to and conversing everyday online with them, only to fall flat after the first day. I do catch feelings easily I guess. And I'm not the type to hang around as a friend after and/or try to change the situation. I cut my losses.
YeOld3DS posted...

This. Tinder is a sex site, not a relationship one.

I disagree. Yeah it'd known for hookups, but a lot of people genuinely do look for serious relationships on tinder.

I do use coffeemeetsbagel as well.

Dont worry too much about it. Just keep trying in the dating game. Youll meet a nice girl probably sooner than you think.

On to the next my guy. It's a numbers game. You keep playing till you hit your lucky number

Pertaining your inquiry have no ideal as through personal choice at 34 never had a significant other simultaneously still a virgin but will say take heed as there are numerous stds present and the vast majority who use tinder and anything equivalent are only there for intercourse

do you work out? are you fit?

gna647 posted...

do you work out? are you fit?

Yes and yes. Not saying it's the only problem I have, but one of my biggest things is that I suck at flirting on blind dates and making moves like kissing. I kinda carry it like a normal conversation. Takes me a while unless it's someone I know already.

Thanks for the motivational words guys.

Arcanine2009 posted...

Asked for a second date after I got home nd she said she'd just wasn't feeling much chemistry and she would love for me to be friends and show her around.

Sigh. 4 dates this year with nothing past the first date. I have her number, but I unmatched her.

Serious, committed women looking for a relationship don't use dating apps. Do yourself a favor and get off those now. And delete the number. Don't let her have a single second more of your time, money, or attention....women that friendzone you after one date for "chemistry" are just using you as a backup plan for when she inevitably can't lock down Chad. And there's no doubt that she has a guy she wants, but that guy doesn't want her. She'd cheat or dump you at the first opportunity.

There are great women out there, but they're not on dating apps.

did you make her laugh?

ReanimatedJutsu posted...

Pertaining your inquiry have no ideal as through personal choice at 34 never had a significant other simultaneously still a virgin but will say take heed as there are numerous stds present and the vast majority who use tinder and anything equivalent are only there for intercourse

look at the size of the cope

silverpine posted...

did you make her laugh?

Yeah definitely. She laughed a lot.

It happens man. Just have to find someone that does feel a connection with you. She's out there. Don't get discouraged by the failures.

NoxObscuras posted...

It happens man. Just have to find someone that does feel a connection with you. She's out there. Don't get discouraged by the failures.

thanks man!

Dude, take up a language lesson or course. Or even extra activities that let you meet more people. Join a group of people with interests and DON'T use online dating apps. Stay away from them.

You'll meet more guys like this, which is good. Make friends and have interesting interactions.

Yeah, some people really want the jack and rose first date connection

My best dating experience happened to be someone who didn't mind the first date being a complete getting to know you type situation with zero expectations, which lead to intimacy eventually being really easy a few dates later because we already had a good understanding of who each other were as a person, but I've struggled to find many girls like her. We had a couple of phone calls between dates too which I found a really easy way to just talk and get to know someone without pressure (you know that "should I be making a move yet?" feeling, Well that won't happen over the phone)

The last girl I went on a date with I think basically always had sex on the first date and since we didn't even kiss on it she felt I had zero attraction or interest in her or that there was no spark or chemistry, or even potential for chemistry down the road. Of course after you're told "you're nice but I didn't feel a spark" there's not much room for "C'mon give it another date"

Just keep trying