Current Events > Dad informed me that mom has decided she's upset and will be calling tonight

(+) Yeah! (+)

They helped me move to my new place last Thursday. Thought they would leave early Saturday but they stayed another day to help.

I left on Saturday to be with my friends who do the same Sabbath stuff as I do. Mom was cool with that. Apparently now she isn't? And just not working on Sabbath in general? She got herself all wound up talking to one of her sisters I guess.

So tonight should be "fun"

/Blogfaqs

I don't understand how people can just decide they're upset after the fact. I'll get mad about something but it's pretty much immediately, I don't just change my mind afterward and be like yeah I'm pissed now

What?

Ya... That's my mom. I love her, but she can be difficult

What?

pics of mom

Dreepapult posted...

I don't understand how people can just decide they're upset after the fact.

thats the difference. your mom is choosing to be upset. when you get upset, its a reaction and emotion, not a choice.

gray rock her.

VampireCoyote posted...

pics of mom

Lol no

if you live alone just don't answer

Norman_Smiley posted...

thats the difference. your mom is choosing to be upset. when you get upset, its a reaction and emotion, not a choice.

gray rock her.

Gray rock?

it's totally fine to change your mind about something, that's a weak angle
the problem is that uh, i guess you're going to have to break the news that you're not as religious as she is. there's no way around that

silverpine posted...

it's totally fine to change your mind about something, that's a weak angle
the problem is that uh, i guess you're going to have to break the news that you're not as religious as she is. there's no way around that

I may have explained poorly, I'm the one that doesn't work on the Sabbath. Which is Saturday. Grew up Lutheran going to Sunday church, that's what mom and dad still are. I've been trying to follow the actual stuff from the Bible more. Mom is struggling with that. Dad has mostly been fine with it.

Mostly I just need to figure out an angle to smooth things over with her so she's not in this tizzy. She has other things she should be worrying about like my niece, but she gets fixated on me.

ok maybe it's not about being "less religious" but having different religious beliefs
imo you'll be "smoothing things over" for the rest of your life if you don't straighten it out now, but obviously it's your choice

silverpine posted...

ok maybe it's not about being "less religious" but having different religious beliefs
imo you'll be "smoothing things over" for the rest of your life if you don't straighten it out now, but obviously it's your choice

Yeah, the struggle is trying to help us find common ground and for her to understand without her feeling disrespected. Honor thy father and mother.

Dreepapult posted...

Gray rock?

its a technique when dealing with various types of toxic people. when they are ranting and raving at you over nonsense, react like a gray rock would. Just said there, no response other than your presence. Makes those type of people leave / end it when they don't get the reaction they are hoping for.

Put up fishing lines and you can work on the Sabbath.

Norman_Smiley posted...

its a technique when dealing with various types of toxic people. when they are ranting and raving at you over nonsense, react like a gray rock would. Just said there, no response other than your presence. Makes those type of people leave / end it when they don't get the reaction they are hoping for.

Oh, gotcha.

Foppe posted...

Put up fishing lines and you can work on the Sabbath.

Ha yeah those kind of loopholes are pretty bad. Wouldn't want to have to try to explain that one to the big man

I4NRulez posted...

if you live alone just don't answer

Avoidance just prolongs things and gives her more time to stew

Isn't there a commandment about your parents?

Dreepapult posted...

Yeah, the struggle is trying to help us find common ground and for her to understand without her feeling disrespected. Honor thy father and mother.

Why should you honor shitty people just because they are your parents?

MrResetti posted...

Isn't there a commandment about your parents?

Honor thy father and mother.

Which is why this is difficult. If it was just a friend giving me a hard time I'd probably lay it out more straight. I'm pretty good at being blunt and I have had it out with a friend before and things got rather ugly.

I think the commandment is more about as you get older. It's simpler when you're younger it's more like mind your parents. When you're an adult it's dealing with them on a more even ground but giving them honor and respect in difficult situations. Pretty easy with Dad, if anything over the years it's gotten more easy to get along with him. Things have been strained with mom since I started down this different path. Started it about 2.5 years ago.

Lonestar2000 posted...

Why should you honor shitty people just because they are your parents?

It's commanded. I have chosen to try to live under the Law. So I have to do the best I can.

Dreepapult posted...

It's commanded. I have chosen to try to live under the Law. So I have to do the best I can.

This is one of the reasons I am not religious, all these stupid rules you have to follow.

So are you Jewish or not

MrResetti posted...

So are you Jewish or not

I'm a follower of Messiah, but I try to keep the Law as well. So some of the more common stuff like eating kosher, keeping Sabbath, doing the feasts rather than stuff like Easter and Christmas.

Dreepapult posted...

Honor thy father and mother.

Which is why this is difficult. If it was just a friend giving me a hard time I'd probably lay it out more straight. I'm pretty good at being blunt and I have had it out with a friend before and things got rather ugly.

I think the commandment is more about as you get older. It's simpler when you're younger it's more like mind your parents. When you're an adult it's dealing with them on a more even ground but giving them honor and respect in difficult situations. Pretty easy with Dad, if anything over the years it's gotten more easy to get along with him. Things have been strained with mom since I started down this different path. Started it about 2.5 years ago.

To respect others, you must first respect yourself.

It is not disrespectful to disagree with someone or to have different beliefs. Even, if you disagree with specifics, there should be some common ground, some similar values beneath it all if they're someone worthy of your love.

KyerWiz posted...

To respect others, you must first respect yourself.

It is not disrespectful to disagree with someone or to have different beliefs. Even, if you disagree with specifics, there should be some common ground, some similar values beneath it all if they're someone worthy of your love.

That's what I'm trying to establish. I'll make some progress, but then it's back to where we were. It's a long-term thing for most people that have gone on a similar path

Are you Seventh Day Adventist?

TendoDRM posted...

Are you Seventh Day Adventist?

They share a lot of commonalities but no

If it makes you a better person and makes you happier overall then I cant judge you for your religious choices to follow. I say keep up the good work and much luck to how youre going to handle your mom going forward.

Religious families really be on that shit lmfao.

Pogo_Marimo posted...

Religious families really be on that shit lmfao.

Ya it can be crazy

So how hard do you follow the book?
Not wearing shatnez?
Not sitting in the same spot a woman sat when she was on her period?
Forcing cheating women to drink dirty water?
Not eating fat or blood?
Not saying the names of other Gods, even if they are in movie titles?
Not eating rabbit, shellfish, pork, weasels, scavengers, reptiles, and owls?
What about Deuteronomy 21:18-21?
If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die.

lol