Current Events > So, my kids gave me a small handful of their jellybeans today.

(+) Yeah! (+)

I tried to very gently refuse them, because I'm not eating my kids' lollies. They were absolutely insistent.

So I relented and ate one. I tried to be gracious and be all "oh yes, thank you very much". Fucking kill me.

So it turns out grandma had given them a few packets of those Harry Potter merchandised jellybeans that taste like different things. They'd gathered up all the shitty ones and gave them to me.

I was trolled by my own kids.

So what flavor did you wind up eating?

Bishop_Hastur posted...

So what flavor did you wind up eating?

Fucking earthworms.

Im still getting the aftertaste in the back of my throat, and Ive brushed and gargled twice since

Get even by spending their college funds on socks, lots of socks

Nah, I have all the colourful socks anyone could wish for.

How did you not see this coming?

BurmesePenguin posted...

How did you not see this coming?

You won't be so smug in 9 years' time when both of them have accounts on here and are trolling everyone mercilessly.

The_Creep_2020 posted...

I tried to very gently refuse them, because I'm not eating my kids' lollies. They were absolutely insistent.

So I relented and ate one. I tried to be gracious and be all "oh yes, thank you very much". Fucking kill me.

I can't imagine being this disgusted with interacting with my own kids.

VIXVLV posted...

I can't imagine being this disgusted with interacting with my own kids.

Nice editing, you silly fucking sausage.

I didn't edit anything?

VIXVLV posted...

I didn't edit anything?

Just omitted the last paragraph, you soggiest of SAOs

The_Creep_2020 posted...

Just omitted the last paragraph, you soggiest of SAOs

Last paragraph doesn't remove the distain you have when interacting with your kids.

VIXVLV posted...

Last paragraph doesn't remove the distain you have when interacting with your kids.

This is the weirdest fucking gimmick, I don't even.

Kids hold candy until it gets warm and then everything on their hand sticks to it. Ill slap that shit outta their hand. Fuck outta here.

Lost_All_Senses posted...

Kids hold candy until it gets warm and then everything on their hand sticks to it. Ill slap that shit outta their hand. Fuck outta here.

Oh my sweet summer child. With my son, I'm assuming it's had one trip at least into his mouth.

Lmao that is amazing good job kids

josifrees posted...

Lmao that is amazing good job kids

It was a definite "I'm not even mad, I'm impressed!" moment.

The_Creep_2020 posted...

Oh my sweet summer child. With my son, I'm assuming it's had one trip at least into his mouth.

I don't even like jellybeans to begin with. The kid deserves to be punished for not knowing that.

after joking about slapping a kids hand, maybe I shouldn't leave "punished" open ended >_>. I just meant like time out <_<

Lost_All_Senses posted...

I don't even like jellybeans to begin with. The kid deserves to be punished for not knowing that.

This is why your branch on your family tree will wither and die with you.

When you have kids, you must be prepared to make sacrifices. If that involves eating suspect jellybeans, so be it.

Imma drop the bit now.

I definitely have. Ive also hurt myself several times while doing bits to make them laugh. One time I purposely awkwardly fell out a hammock for comedic effect and ended up having sore ribs for 2 weeks. It effected everything I could do.

I feel you, bruss.

Sometimes, we must suffer for our art.

ProfessorKukui posted...

Could have been worse, could have been licorice

Thats what fathers days for. Im hoping for the big Fathers Day licorice Darrel Lea bag