Current Events > I am a vessel of pure anxiety and stress

(+) Yeah! (+)

I went to one of those massage kiosks at the mall because I thought that I should try getting a massage at least once in my life. I hear nothing but good things about them, so why not. So I told the old Asian dude that I'd like a massage. To start things off, I struggle with mounting the seat properly. It's not like a standard chair. You have to contort yourself into the letter Z while tilting forward, which gives you the lingering sensation that you're going to faceplant. And then he positions my arms on the armrests, and I notice how they're mildly worn. Then I think about the germs and how I'll have to sanitize myself aftward. Then he begins the massage and it didn't feel the way I thought it would. My back did not give in to the kneading. My muscles felt rock-hard. I felt bad for the guy. To him, it must have been like trying to massage a car tire. At one point I even heard his hand crack. And when it was over the Asian dude told me I had to relax. I had to relax!

I don't even know what relaxation is. Some people might say take a vacation, but time and time again that's been proven to be nothing but stress with an exorbitant fee attached. So I don't know what I can do, except await a premature case of heart failure.

go to a park. watch birds and squirrels. if you don't have a park near you, listen to relaxing music