Poll of the Day > Do I wish my mother a happy birthday?

(+) Yeah! (+)

On one hand, she does love me. On the other, it's only because the rest of my family abuses her copiously. Moreover, it will be very awkward to speak to her next, when she inevitably tries to make contact with me again. On the other hand, she would be overly forgiving for my lapse of memory, but mostly because no one else is really fond of her, as mentioned previously. She did have a terrible habit of underestimating me and lowering my self-esteem, to the point that I had been driven to seek domicile in a place where she cannot easily visit. She also had a habit of never listening to a thing I said whenever I sought her for emotional comfort. She also weaponized me against my father in a decades-long feud, often spoiling me for the sole purpose of spiting him. She never bothered to learn a word of English in order to communicate with her own kids properly. She also treated me like an emotional support dog, ranting to me about things I cared nothing about. Once, I had to listen to her rant about how she should have married some bloke from Macau instead of my father. In spite of all this, I think I love her on some level. But now that I've been away from her for so many months, I'm not so sure. Anyway, what should I do?

I must have these answers.

text a happy birthday. It shows you care... but not quite enough

I think the real answer is #3, but the correct answer is #2.

Always

Just send her a card or something. You don't need to interact with her after that if you don't want to.

i dont wish mine one

Obviously it's a very personal decision to make, and you will know what the right answer is for yourself and your situation. I feel that if the transgressions between the two of you are "mild" enough, for lack of a better word at the moment, that you can look past them and feel true love between the two of you, or at least that you don't wish her ill, I don't see any reason why wishing a happy birthday would be unreasonable. Not to say that you should engage in long conversation or extended interaction, if the relationship is damaging for you to be involved in. It is quite the balancing act, for sure.

I ended up wishing her a belated birthday over text-message. The gesture and the timing of it most closely reflected what I was feeling, anyway.

I'm never going to wish my father a happy birthday, though, not after he stole from my mother's bank account while she was brain-dead in the hospital two years ago.

Send a card....you won't have to have an actual conversation

EclairReturns posted...

I ended up wishing her a belated birthday over text-message. The gesture and the timing of it most closely reflected what I was feeling, anyway.

I'm never going to wish my father a happy birthday, though, not after he stole from my mother's bank account while she was brain-dead in the hospital two years ago.

Understandable. Ultimately, you've got to do what feels right for you.