Current Events > What's the worst you've been rejected?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Pertaining to trying to start a relationship with another person, obviously.

Only high value men post on gamefaqs.gamespot.comwe dont get rejected

They laughed

Got sent a rushed and lazy text telling me I'm really nice but she wasn't ready for a relationship after we'd already excitedly deleted the dating app together we met on. We did it on like the 5th or 6th date after a particularly enjoyable sex session, and maybe a week or two later she just changed her mind about me. She was doing tons of coke and had bipolar for what that's worth

Guys wtf

The girl seemed a little weirded out considering she was a little bit younger than me which immediately let me know she wasn't interested. I noticed and understood and told her I'm sorry and to please just forget about it and left.

Nothing too bad. Just a lolno or two. It happens, nothing to get hung up over. Everybody gets rejected.

It happened quite a bit to me in college. Like a lot. Hasn't really happened since my divorce 5 years ago other than simply not matching with people online. I don't think I have asked anyone out and been told "no" these last few years.

haloiscoolisbak posted...

Got sent a rushed and lazy text telling me I'm really nice but she wasn't ready for a relationship after we'd already excitedly deleted the dating app together we met on. We did it on like the 5th or 6th date after a particularly enjoyable sex session, and maybe a week or two later she just changed her mind about me. She was doing tons of coke and had bipolar for what that's worth

Sounds like you dodged a fucking cannonball.

Irony posted...

They laughed

:(

I was asking for her number and she got all coy or shy or so I thought but she was gently her way of saying no. It's bad that i took so long to realize. I hindsight I was kinda pushy. Ack

2 weeks of prep work, she adds me on 2 seperate messaging apps, chatting every day. Smiles in the hall. So things are looking good I make my move. Turns out she likes my best friend more and doesn't seem me that way. Ugh

Don't crush or try not to crush, they're just people with their own tastes. You're setting yourself up for failure.

bsp77 posted...

It happened quite a bit to me in college. Like a lot. Hasn't really happened since my divorce 5 years ago other than simply not matching with people online. I don't think I have asked anyone out and been told "no" these last few years.

That's good, you can read a situation well

Not including the times where it lead to ghosting, I've had "it's too soon maybe we should learn a bit more about each other first" or something similar a few times online. One of those did lead to an eventual date, so I guess she was being completely sincere, but more often it just signals the end.

I usually throw it out as a hail Mary though if conversation is moving at a crawl or seemingly dying. Why not just try and meet I figure. Often I probably should have just asked another question about them or something. It's hard to know with dating apps

haloiscoolisbak posted...

That's good, you can read a situation well

That's exactly what it is. I ask when I expect the answer to be "yes". It also let's me be more confident, further increasing the chance of a "yes". This is for in-person.

Not including the times where it lead to ghosting, I've had "it's too soon maybe we should learn a bit more about each other first" or something similar a few times online. One of those did lead to an eventual date, but more often it just signals the end.

Really? I have generally found that asking too early online is better than asking too late. I would always ask after like 5 or 6 messages and never received a "no"*. This is out of 25 or 30 times, I think. I know if guys wait to ask, the women can lose interest as they don't want a pen pal. However, this was all pre-pandemic, so I recognize that dates might not happen as quickly today.

*Caveat that one woman wanted to know if I was looking for my forever person, and I said I was simply seeing what happens, which could possibly lead to that. That apparently wasn't enough for her. Dodged a bullet I think.

Kitt posted...

Sounds like you dodged a fucking cannonball.

Yeah in hindsight definitely. But I found her fascinating and was really upset she would do it over text(with a "you're really nice tho" to boot) after the all night conversations we'd had in person several times. It hurt a lot despite her having a crazy amount of red flags and stuff. Just felt completely manipulated and kinda gaslit, but I guess her being constantly coked up maybe made her a bit manic and she was just maybe just socially incompetent rather than malicious

haloiscoolisbak posted...

Yeah in hindsight definitely. But I found her fascinating and was really upset she would do it over text(with a "you're really nice tho" to boot) after the all night conversations we'd had in person several times. It hurt a lot despite her having a crazy amount of red flags and stuff. Just felt completely manipulated and kinda gaslit

Yeah, I have found women like that fascinating as well, especially right after my divorce. Being drawn to women like that is dumb, but we do it anyway. Of course, many women do the same with their "bad boys"

was always too chickenshit to ever ask a girl out, so all my gfs either asked me out or the relationship just happened after weeks of dating but never calling it that "oh i guess we're dating now"

only one i ever asked anything of was marriage proposal to my wife and we're goin on 10 years next year

i made a drawing of a butterfly and gave it to a girl in kindergarten. She briefly looked at it then wadded it up and threw it over her shoulder.

bsp77 posted...

That's exactly what it is. I ask when I expect the answer to be "yes". It also let's me be more confident, further increasing the chance of a "yes". This is for in-person.

Really? I have generally found that asking too early online is better than asking too late. I would always ask after like 5 or 6 messages and never received a "no"*. This is out of 25 or 30 times, I think. I know if guys wait to ask, the women can lose interest as they don't want a pen pal. However, this was all pre-pandemic, so I recognize that dates might not happen as quickly today.

*Caveat that one woman wanted to know if I was looking for my forever person, and I said I was simply seeing what happens, which could possibly lead to that. That apparently wasn't enough for her. Dodged a bullet I think.

Yeah, I think some people are happy to chat away then are suddenly a bit overwhelmed by having to agree to meet a stranger for a date in a couple of days. I kinda get it. It has worked a bunch of times too, but yeah some girls apparently want a bit more rapport built before committing to a date. You can never really tell unless they've put it on their profile what they prefer, which thankfully some do

I was at a friend's wedding (pre-COVID). One of her other friends was there too. We talked for a bit, got on well. She was down to dance with me but that's when they stopped the music (it was a Kurdish wedding and they wanted to start a ceremony).

At the end of the night I asked her for her number. She said "I'd give it to you but I don't think it would do you any good"

haloiscoolisbak posted...

Yeah, I think some people are happy to chat away then are suddenly a bit overwhelmed by having to agree to meet a stranger for a date in a couple of days. I kinda get it. It has worked a bunch of times too, but yeah some girls apparently want a bit more rapport built before committing to a date. You can never really tell unless they've put it on their profile

But my point is that I have never had it happen or somehow never encountered a single one of those women. I know they exist, but must be a small minority unless I got strangely lucky. Which was why I was asking about Covid, as I all my dating app usage was in 2017 and 2018.

Oh, one other thought, could it be an age thing? Almost all of them were in their 30s, with just a couple in their 20s. Maybe 20-somethings are more skittish?

Not trying to be annoying here, as this is my tendency to overanalyze. I am a market researcher.

Haven't been rejected since high school over 25 years ago. Granted, I've been with my gf/wife forever, so I haven't exactly been putting myself out there.

Last time was when I asked my HS crush out to a movie while we were in class, and when I called her that night to make the plans, she told me the only reason why she said yes is because she thought if she extended to conversation any longer, she would've missed her bus and would then have to walk home.

bsp77 posted...

But my point is that I have never had it happen or somehow never encountered a single one of those women. I know they exist, but must be a small minority unless I got strangely lucky. Which was why I was asking about Covid, as I all my dating app usage was in 2017 and 2018.

Oh, one other thought, could it be an age thing? Almost all of them were in their 30s, with just a couple in their 20s. Maybe 20-somethings are more skittish?

Not trying to be annoying here, as this is my tendency to overanalyze. I am a market researcher.

It could be actually. It's usually happened more often with girls 24-27, girls my age (31) usually are all for cutting to the chase. I tend to go for a bit younger though if I have the option . The coked up bipolar girl was 22 lol. Never going that young again. Too fickle.

Could be a Sydney thing too, I recently saw an article saying we're the 3rd worst city in the world for meeting people/making friends. A lot of apathy floating around here.

there was a girl that said she was super into me for years and was waiting for me to be single. i became single, she told me all this stuff. she started sexting me so i figured alright she's for real. i asked her to go out a few times and she never said yes. she said she was too afraid. then she went out with some other guys and then told me and was all apologetic and stuff. after that i left her alone.

not sure if that's the type of rejection you're looking for, but that's the worst one i've had. others were just thanks but no thanks type of responses, which i'd much rather get.

gamefaqs stopped letting me contest moderations

haloiscoolisbak posted...

It could be actually. It's usually happened more often with girls 24-27, girls my age (31) usually are all for cutting to the chase. I tend to go for a bit younger though if I have the option . The coked up bipolar girl was 22 lol. Never going that young again. Too fickle.

Could be a Sydney thing too, I recently saw an article saying we're the 3rd worst city in the world for meeting people/making friends. A lot of apathy floating around here.

Don't apologize for going younger. I am 45 and dating a 29yo. :\

Never dated an Aussie :)

bsp77 posted...

Don't apologize for going younger. I am 45 and dating a 29yo. :\

Never dated an Aussie :)

I barely have either lol. The 22 yr old last year, a high school girlfriend and someone at University very briefly.

I've dated a lot of immigrants recently, Filipino, Iranian and now currently Nepali. All physically attractive, but without the intimidation I feel when dating Aussies. It's kinda dumb but I get extra anxiety dating people I actually have more in common with personality wise. Different cultures always makes me more confident with dating

Oh, and damn dude well done. A 45 yr old getting a 29 yr old is impressive and something a lot of your peers are probably jealous of lol

pauIie posted...

there was a girl that said she was super into me for years and was waiting for me to be single. i became single, she told me all this stuff. she started sexting me so i figured alright she's for real. i asked her to go out a few times and she never said yes. she said she was too afraid. then she went out with some other guys and then told me and was all apologetic and stuff. after that i left her alone.

not sure if that's the type of rejection you're looking for, but that's the worst one i've had. others were just thanks but no thanks type of responses, which i'd much rather get.

Sounds like a girl who likes playing games tbh. It was probably for the best that you didn't get with her.

MarshallStack posted...

gamefaqs stopped letting me contest moderations

lol

haloiscoolisbak posted...

I barely have either lol. The 22 yr old last year, a high school girlfriend and someone at University very briefly.

I've dated a lot of immigrants recently, Filipino, Iranian and now currently Nepali. All physically attractive, but without the intimidation I feel when dating Aussies. It's kinda dumb but I get extra anxiety dating people I actually have more in common with personality wise. Different cultures always makes me more confident with dating

Oh yeah, I knew that. Still going well with the Nepalese woman? Still early on, I believe.

haloiscoolisbak posted...

Oh, and damn dude well done. A 45 yr old getting a 29 yr old is impressive and something a lot of your peers are probably jealous of lol

A mixture of that and thinking I am an idiot lol

Was on okcupid, matched with a lady who who wasn't exactly a looker but seemed fun. We chat for a bit, turns out she's just looking for friends. Works for me because I need friends too, and we agree to keep talking.

A while later she unexpectedly shows up at my work place. She had shown my picture around to people she knew until she got confirmation that people knew me(kinda understandable, but still off-putting to me). She makes herself at home at my job, and mentions that she's going to start watching Jessica Jones with her 12 year old daughter. So, I mention that the show has some kinda graphic sex scenes in it. Then she straight up asks if I'm a virgin, and I didn't really know how to dodge such a direct question, so I was honest about it(still under the assumption that we were just staying friends).

She got angry and told me that she could never, ever be with a guy like me. That she needs a real man. One that can please her sexually and that take care of her needs. Then proceeded to tell me about the other guys she was seeing and the things they do. We kept texting over the next few months, because we'd agreed to try to stay friends... But she kept turning every conversation sexual, then reminding me I wasn't good enough for her.

She'd try to lead me on too. Once by telling me about a dirty dream she supposedly had about me that made her curious. Another time saying that everything about me was perfect except for being inexperienced and that I'd make a good husband for her. Also, that she wanted me to father a child with her, whether we were married or not. Each of those conversations also led to being reminded that she doesn't even consider me a man.

I ended things once she got together with her one ex. Turned out it was one of my brother's classmates that I knew. And as always she thought it was a good idea to tell me the explicit details of how good he is in bed.

That was already a rough period in my life. She just made things so much worse. It's like she enjoyed humiliating me or something.

bsp77 posted...

Oh yeah, I knew that. Still going well with the Nepalese woman? Still early on, I believe.

A mixture of that and thinking I am an idiot lol

Yeah, it's going really well. Have just fallen into a very comfortable situation after having to try really hard and ending up so confused by some girls in the past. It's nice. She's super open, relaxed and transparent essentially.

Am a bit hesitant introducing her to my friends as she's also just... kinda different to them (doesn't drink, leans more towards being polite and caring rather than enjoying banter and cynicism) but yeah we get along very well so I guess that's all that matters.

KogaSteelfang posted...

Was on okcupid, matched with a lady who who wasn't exactly a looker but seemed fun. We chat for a bit, turns out she's just looking for friends. Works for me because I need friends too, and we agree to keep talking.

A while later she unexpectedly shows up at my work place. She had shown my picture around to people she knew until she got confirmation that people knew me(kinda understandable, but still off-putting to me). She makes herself at home at my job, and mentions that she's going to start watching Jessica Jones with her 12 year old daughter. So, I mention that the show has some kinda graphic sex scenes in it. Then she straight up asks if I'm a virgin, and I didn't really know how to dodge such a direct question, so I was honest about it(still under the assumption that we were just staying friends).

She got angry and told me that she could never, ever be with a guy like me. That she needs a real man. One that can please her sexually and that take care of her needs. Then proceeded to tell me about the other guys she was seeing and the things they do. We kept texting over the next few months, because we'd agreed to try to stay friends... But she kept turning every conversation sexual, then reminding me I wasn't good enough for her.

She'd try to lead me on too. Once by telling me about a dirty dream she supposedly had about me that made her curious. Another time saying that everything about me was perfect except for being inexperienced and that I'd make a good husband for her. Also, that she wanted me to father a child with her, whether we were married or not. Each of those conversations also led to being reminded that she doesn't even consider me a man.

I ended things once she got together with her one ex. Turned out it was one of my brother's classmates that I knew. And as always she thought it was a good idea to tell me the explicit details of how good he is in bed.

That was already a rough period in my life. She just made things so much worse. It's like she enjoyed humiliating me or something.

Doesn't sound like she rejected you. Sounds like she actually wanted to bone you but wanted you to fight for it first.

But you rejected her and that was probably a good thing because what a toxic person she sounds like.

KogaSteelfang posted...

Was on okcupid, matched with a lady who who wasn't exactly a looker but seemed fun. We chat for a bit, turns out she's just looking for friends. Works for me because I need friends too, and we agree to keep talking.

A while later she unexpectedly shows up at my work place. She had shown my picture around to people she knew until she got confirmation that people knew me(kinda understandable, but still off-putting to me). She makes herself at home at my job, and mentions that she's going to start watching Jessica Jones with her 12 year old daughter. So, I mention that the show has some kinda graphic sex scenes in it. Then she straight up asks if I'm a virgin, and I didn't really know how to dodge such a direct question, so I was honest about it(still under the assumption that we were just staying friends).

She got angry and told me that she could never, ever be with a guy like me. That she needs a real man. One that can please her sexually and that take care of her needs. Then proceeded to tell me about the other guys she was seeing and the things they do. We kept texting over the next few months, because we'd agreed to try to stay friends... But she kept turning every conversation sexual, then reminding me I wasn't good enough for her.

She'd try to lead me on too. Once by telling me about a dirty dream she supposedly had about me that made her curious. Another time saying that everything about me was perfect except for being inexperienced and that I'd make a good husband for her. Also, that she wanted me to father a child with her, whether we were married or not. Each of those conversations also led to being reminded that she doesn't even consider me a man.

I ended things once she got together with her one ex. Turned out it was one of my brother's classmates that I knew. And as always she thought it was a good idea to tell me the explicit details of how good he is in bed.

That was already a rough period in my life. She just made things so much worse. It's like she enjoyed humiliating me or something.

She 100% has issues, so don't stress too much about her.

WingsOfGood posted...

Doesn't sound like she rejected you. Sounds like she actually wanted to bone you but wanted you to fight for it first.

Maybe... But when someone literally tells me I have no chance with them then doubles down on the insults and judgement, I take their word for it.

Besides, the way she was stringing me along made me think that may be the case. I posted about it here to see if it was possibly worth pursuing that option. It was pretty much unanimously no. And talking with her was hurting me more than helping.

Kitt posted...

She 100% has issues, so don't stress too much about her.

I'm over it, it's just that she was right about me anyway. I'm not fit to be with anyone. I've tried online dating a few times since then and failed every time.

KogaSteelfang posted...

Maybe... But when someone literally tells me I have no chance with them then doubles down on the insults and judgement, I take their word for it.

Besides, the way she was stringing me along made me think that may be the case. I posted about it here to see if it was possibly worth pursuing that option. It was pretty much unanimously no. And talking with her was hurting me more than helping.

Regardless of whether she was into you or not, it was definitely not worth pursuing, so unanimous "no" makes sense

I'm over it, it's just that she was right about me anyway. I'm not fit to be with anyone. I've tried online dating a few times since then and failed every time.

She wasn't right about you. You believing it is your biggest impediment.

Honestly getting turned down asking someone out is basically nothing compared getting actually dumped in a long-term relationship. When youve been dating someone for more than a year, are living together, etc. and they are like Yeah, nah. I think Id rather just be alone than continue to date you. Thats a deep cut, because its not like you can just shrug it off like well they didnt get a chance to know the real me or anything like that because they did know you. They knew you really wellmaybe even better than anyone else in your lifeand they decided that what you brought to the table wasnt good enough for them.

KogaSteelfang posted...

Maybe... But when someone literally tells me I have no chance with them then doubles down on the insults and judgement, I take their word for it.

Besides, the way she was stringing me along made me think that may be the case. I posted about it here to see if it was possibly worth pursuing that option. It was pretty much unanimously no. And talking with her was hurting me more than helping.

I'm over it, it's just that she was right about me anyway. I'm not fit to be with anyone. I've tried online dating a few times since then and failed every time.

Dude that girl is fucking nuts. Like wtf. You'd be surprised how quick you can learn how to be competent with sex so she's being not only horrible by saying you'd be husband material if you weren't so inexperienced (by making you feel so horrible about your insecurity) she's also just stupid if she actually thinks that, which I kinda doubt she actually does deep down.

Like I was literally an inexperienced 28 yr old worried nobody would accept that and then the first girl I actually was brave enough to tell was like, "lol that's so not a big deal". And we then dated for a few months and yeah.

It's horrible you encountered someone this abusive but she's really not the norm.

Uh I walked a girl home once and asked if I could kiss her. The look on her face was pretty funny.

I asked someone to he my valentine once and they were like "uh, no, you just want to say you have a valentine"

KogaSteelfang posted...

She makes herself at home at my job, and mentions that she's going to start watching Jessica Jones with her 12 year old daughter. So, I mention that the show has some kinda graphic sex scenes in it. Then she straight up asks if I'm a virgin, and I didn't really know how to dodge such a direct question, so I was honest about it(still under the assumption that we were just staying friends).

This is some saw Kanye West at a grocery store shit, wtf

MrToothHasYou posted...

Honestly getting turned down asking someone out is basically nothing compared getting actually dumped in a long-term relationship. When youve been dating someone for more than a year, are living together, etc. and they are like Yeah, nah. I think Id rather just be alone than continue to date you. Thats a deep cut, because its not like you can just shrug it off like well they didnt get a chance to know the real me or anything like that because they did know you. They knew you really wellmaybe even better than anyone else in your lifeand they decided that what you brought to the table wasnt good enough for them.

Yeah, that is rough. Can I also suggest that it sucks being on the other side of it? Having to end a 2-year relationship with someone I lived with was probably the hardest thing I have done in my life. I still was very sad for what could have been, but realized it wasn't working for either of us. On top of mourning the end of the relationship, I also had the crippling guilt on top of it.

I've only been rejected once, but it sucked because it was a big tiddy azn when I was ~15 or so. This was before the parts of my brain that handle socializing caught up with the rest, so I understand why. I cringe just thinking about how I handled that.

I won't go into details but I got in academic trouble because she reported me for harassment. :l

bsp77 posted...

Regardless of whether she was into you or not, it was definitely not worth pursuing, so unanimous "no" makes sense

I wasn't going to pursue any type of relationship. The signals were mixed and I was going to maybe see if she's be willing to give the experience she was mad at me for not having. Was told that it wouldn't be worth it, that it'd complicate an already complicated situation and I'd end up hurt. So, yeah, based on how she was already making me feel I agreed on the outcome.

bsp77 posted...

She wasn't right about you. You believing it is your biggest impediment.

It doesn't matter if I believe it or not, the facts speak for themselves.

haloiscoolisbak posted...

Dude that girl is fucking nuts. Like wtf. You'd be surprised how quick you can learn how to be competent with sex so she's being not only horrible by saying you'd be husband material if you weren't so inexperienced (by making you feel so horrible about your insecurity) she's also just stupid if she actually thinks that, which I kinda doubt she actually does deep down.

Like I was literally an inexperienced 28 yr old worried nobody would accept that and then the first girl I actually was brave enough to tell was like, "lol that's so not a big deal". And we then dated for a few months and yeah.

It's horrible you encountered someone this abusive but she's really not the norm.

That all happened years ago. I'm turning 39 soon and so far, she's been my only chance.

MedeaLysistrata posted...

This is some saw Kanye West at a grocery store shit, wtf

She learned my name, where I lived, and where I worked from people who knew me. Figured out my work schedule from when I was available to text and when I wasn't. Then showed up in the middle of my shift. I honestly would've been impressed if it didn't trigger my anxiety of her just showing up at any point.

KogaSteelfang posted...

It doesn't matter if I believe it or not, the facts speak for themselves.

This is the biggest problem for a big subset of CE. You guys truly believe that things are set in stone and that your mindset doesn't matter. Mindset has a massive effect on everything. There are all kinds of studies that prove it. If there are two people in the exact same situation, and one has a positive outlook and one has a negative outlook, the one with a positive outlook will get much more success the majority of the time.

Number090684 posted...

The girl seemed a little weirded out considering she was a little bit younger than me which immediately let me know she wasn't interested. I noticed and understood and told her I'm sorry and to please just forget about it and left.

Bet it felt embarrassing but good job owning up to it

bsp77 posted...

Yeah, that is rough. Can I also suggest that it sucks being on the other side of it? Having to end a 2-year relationship with someone I lived with was probably the hardest thing I have done in my life. I still was very sad for what could have been, but realized it wasn't working for either of us. On top of mourning the end of the relationship, I also had the crippling guilt on top of it.

Oh for sure, especially when theres nothing wrong with your partner, being unhappy in an otherwise healthy relationship can make you feel like there must something wrong with you. Youre deeply entangled in each others lives at that point and you feel guilty that you cant just be happy with what youve got. Its worse when they are on good terms with your friends and family and vice versa, because youre not just ending your own relationship at that point, youre also severely impacting several others.

Its shit all around, although being the one to break things off doesnt carry the rejection aspect, which is what I find particularly painful.

BuckVanHammer posted...

i made a drawing of a butterfly and gave it to a girl in kindergarten. She briefly looked at it then wadded it up and threw it over her shoulder.

Based

bigblu89 posted...

Haven't been rejected since high school over 25 years ago. Granted, I've been with my gf/wife forever, so I haven't exactly been putting myself out there.

Last time was when I asked my HS crush out to a movie while we were in class, and when I called her that night to make the plans, she told me the only reason why she said yes is because she thought if she extended to conversation any longer, she would've missed her bus and would then have to walk home.

BASED

She thought she was being set up with someone else with the same name and had to cancel on me. She was polite about it though.

The classic laugh, it turns out she thought I was kidding because I was on crutches. She ended up messaging me years later apologizing. I didnt see it though and didnt respond.

I once got "try again" at a bar. I got stun-locked by that and just left. She probably just thought my opening line was trash, which Im pretty sure was true.

So I guess it has never been that bad.

KogaSteelfang posted...

I'm over it, it's just that she was right about me anyway. I'm not fit to be with anyone. I've tried online dating a few times since then and failed every time.

The fact that you're actually taking what she said to heart indicates to me that you're not actually over it. No offense, but you got to stop feeling sad for yourself (which, I know, is easier said than done), dude. That's off-putting in and of itself, and all it does is feed into this insecurity cycle you got going on where you're accepting insults about yourself from batshit insane people who clearly don't know what the fuck they're talking about.

MrToothHasYou posted...

Honestly getting turned down asking someone out is basically nothing compared getting actually dumped in a long-term relationship. When youve been dating someone for more than a year, are living together, etc. and they are like Yeah, nah. I think Id rather just be alone than continue to date you. Thats a deep cut, because its not like you can just shrug it off like well they didnt get a chance to know the real me or anything like that because they did know you. They knew you really wellmaybe even better than anyone else in your lifeand they decided that what you brought to the table wasnt good enough for them.

You're not wrong there...