Current Events > Should I feel like an asshole for disliking this guy? (Coworker)

(+) Yeah! (+)

I'm a security guard, and I work with this other guard who is in his 70's. He's a military veteran, serving over 25 years. He has told me very heroic, amazing stories and I commend him for serving his country.

With that all said, as an employee he's terrible. He doesn't like being told what to do, and a few times when I need his assistance, he straight up tells me "nope". A lot of policies at work he refuses to follow, and when upper management finds out, we both get in trouble, even though it's all his fault. He tends to not follow policies that he disagrees with...while on paper that seems respectable, his reasonings for not following those policies are stupid (I can give examples if needed)...and he will choose to maintain those beliefs out of convenience, no matter how many times he is told otherwise.

As a person he is mostly OK, but he has this superiority complex. He thinks he's better than everyone. I assume he's proud of his 25 years in the service, and that is why he feels that way, but that is just a guess.

One example of him being stubborn: he refuses to get vaccinated for covid because, according to him, "do you go to the doctor when you're not sick?" He also says "I tested negative, I don't need to get the vaccine". He's uneducated on the vaccine, and would rather believe his theories out of convenience, because he already decided he doesn't want the vaccine.

The reason I feel bad is because, on the service, he's a good guy. He cracks jokes a lot and is super charismatic. A lot of people at my job like him because they only know him on the surface, but never experienced his stubbornness. If I tell someone I dislike him, they would probably be surprised because they only know his good side. I feel like I'm backed into a corner where I don't like him, but everyone else does, so I feel like it's a "me" problem (maybe it is). I also feel like disliking him means I do not respect his time in the military.

TL:DR: He is a terrible employee, won't let anyone tell him what to do, will sometimes refuse to follow policies, causing us both to get in trouble. He is a 25-year military veteran, and maybe his experiences in the military contributed to why he is the way he is, but that is just a guess.

Have you ever disliked someone who is widely respected? Do I have a valid reason to dislike him?

Your problem solving needs work. Bigtime. And that could perhaps be a factor on why he doesn't respect you.

Honestly this reads like nothing more than a taddletale. Welcome to life. Buck up.

No.

Naysaspace posted...

Your problem solving needs work. Bigtime. And that could perhaps be a factor on why he doesn't respect you.

Honestly this reads like nothing more than a taddletale. Welcome to life. Buck up.

i respect this. how should i solve this problem? so far i've kind of appeased him. never taddletaled on him or anything, i've just kind of accepted that i'm stuck with him.

Doesn't need to get the vaccine because he tested negative. Not sure if this topic is satire at all, but no, him being in the military doesn't give him a pass for being a fucking idiot. He sounds like a self-assured egomaniac. Still, if people like him at your work, it's understandable why you'd suck it up. I'd probably want to be like, "thank you for your service, but even more so, fuck you for your attitude." But of course, not actually say it. Plenty of people serve and can still act humble.

What other company policies does he ignore that gets you both in trouble?

what else are you gonna do? nothing. so you have a shit co-worker. who cares?

You should start acting like YOU are the head guard. Do all the work and let him sit on his ass and just ignore him and problem will sort itself out.

Also, don't ever listen to him or do what he tells you. Just do some other task that the job requires.

"Hey Chunkey, fix that lightbulb!" he says.

"No. I'm doing rounds." you say. Don't tell him to fix it either.

If you think about it like this, then you've almost fired him already. Don't treat him like an employee. Treat him like a customer who hangs out inside a video game store.

His service doesn't mean he isn't an asshole. He's hard to work with so I think your valid in your feelings toward him.

You never need a "valid" reason to like or dislike anyone, go with your gut. It's also possible to dislike someone overall but still like them a little, someone being a good/bad guy is usually not black or white.

If another coworker is getting you in trouble at work, immediately disassociate from them personally AND tell your supervisors what's going on. This is not an elementary school playground, this is real life, and you have to protect your income and watch your back. Tattle all day. You want to have the backing of someone higher up to vouch for you if he does get you both in trouble.