Current Events > I might see the girl-of-my-dreams / nightmares again tomorrow

(+) Yeah! (+)

Have had no contact for 3 months now. Last day of work before summer break, my old location (where she is) is hosting a BBQ and my supervisor there invited me to come 3 weeks ago. I've been mulling it over this whole time. Should I confront my fear and drop by? Should I just drop by for the sake of visiting everyone again? Should I just not go and stay at my current location for the day? Thinking about going is stressing me out but thinking about not going is also stressing me out.

I feel like it's something I need to confront emotionally within myself but I'm also like, why even put myself through that? I just don't know what to do. I think I'll stop by if it's convenient but not go out of my way?

I am getting pings of anxiety in the pit of my stomach, I think I might go do some cardio

What is the fear you're confronting?

TwigsthePnoDude posted...

What is the fear you're confronting?

@TwigsthePnoDude I've thought about this question for half an hour now

I think the fear is that she knows that somewhere deep in my psyche I still want her and think she's the one, despite what she put me through, and will do the exact right thing to either break me or get me back hooked. I am not nearly as into her as I used to be with all the time apart and a lot of time to reflect on reality/things but she knows the buttons to press and I'm afraid of being a hopelessly romantic sucker again.

We are all too old for this. Punch yourself in the stomach and insult your emotional shell until it breaks to your rationality.

Guide posted...

We are all too old for this. Punch yourself in the stomach and insult your emotional shell until it breaks to your rationality.

Are you saying I shouldn't go

Master Kazuya posted...

Are you saying I shouldn't go

Go, but stop being weird about it.

Have you considered moving to another town?

Is she still with that other dude

TwigsthePnoDude posted...

Have you considered moving to another town?

Nah, I'm not that crazy lol

Spiderman23JII posted...

Is she still with that other dude

Ye

Thanks for being a part of this journey for me btw bro

Master Kazuya posted...

Nah, I'm not that crazy lol

Ye

Thanks for being a part of this journey for me btw bro

I think weve all been rekt by a girl before Ive been in your shoes bro have you been talking to any one else lately?

Spiderman23JII posted...

I think weve all been rekt by a girl before Ive been in your shoes bro have you been talking to any one else lately?

Yeah, one girl said she'd be down to come over and smoke and play games, one said she'd be down to grab drinks sometime, one flaked but wants to talk still and gave me stringing-along vibes and I told her that I'm down and basically said it's up to you to make the plans.

I haven't followed through yet cause I don't feel it's time yet, but I've been a lot more detached to everything and don't really care.

Master Kazuya posted...

Yeah, one girl said she'd be down to come over and smoke and play games, one said she'd be down to grab drinks sometime, one flaked but wants to talk still and gave me stringing-along vibes and I told her that I'm down and basically said it's up to you to make the plans.

I haven't followed through yet cause I don't feel it's time yet, but I've been a lot more detached to everything and don't really care.

yeah man Id just go out and enjoy myself really youll definitely run into someone just going out for drinks and shit I understand the feelings of detachment

I went

Was super anxious the drive there but also proud I was doing it

We had a casual chitchat. Very slight remnants of what happened but only enough for just us to barely pick up on. Was nice, felt like the right closure I think.

Bump just for me