Current Events > she said yes!

(+) Yeah! (+)

....

Creepy as fuck.

Why in God's name would you pretend to have a dog to buy dogfood to date/have sex with her? I understand making an attempt to maybe go back to the same place a little but this is ridiculous

itachi15243 posted...

Creepy as fuck.

Why in God's name would you pretend to have a dog to buy dogfood to date/have sex with her? I understand making an attempt to maybe go back to the same place a little but this is ridiculous

i dont think it's creepy at all. i'm sure a lot of girls out there will find a guy trying to woo them as endearing and cute.

When you are found to be a liar about the dog food do not be surprised when she cuts contact. Relationships built on lies do not last very long and lying about having a dog is a big lie.

RiKuToTheMiGhtY posted...

When you are found to be a liar about the dog food do not be surprised when she cuts contact. Relationships built on lies do not last very long and lying about having a dog is a big lie.

it's all good cus i'm planning on getting a dog in the next month or so anyway

Are you getting a dog because you actually want one or are you getting a dog to keep up the lie and because you told a girl you had one ??

I cant imagine how exhausting it must be to keep up this farce.

Bruh this is a topic and y'all posted in it

RiKuToTheMiGhtY posted...

Are you getting a dog because you actually want one or are you getting a dog to keep up the lie and because you told a girl you had one ??

I cant imagine how exhausting it must be to keep up this farce.

nah, i actually want one. i would have one already but i won't have time to be home to train them until next month.

Gobstoppers12 posted...

Bruh this is a topic and y'all posted in it

thx captain obvious

big oof
she messaged me on snapchat saying "you should bring your dog with you on saturday!" (we aren't going out on friday and saturday now...just saturday)

what do i do???
ok, now for some backstory
yes, the rumors are true - i have been buying dog food despite not having a dog. BUT, and this is a big but (eat your heart out, kim kardashian) - it hasn't been brought up by either of us yet. the only comment she's made on anything i've bought has been about the smart water (read post one (1) for the 411)
what should i say?? i could just say that i'm buying it for my neighbors dogs, since they're old, so maybe it makes sense that i feed their dogs every now and then... but, i don't know how i'll play this off

please help! you guys are my friends, and friends give each other advice so they don't screw up (i would do the same for you!)

How about you tell her the truth, keeping track of lies is just going to make things worse.

Imagine if you just bought cat food for your actual cat, instead of this web of lies.

RiKuToTheMiGhtY posted...

How about you tell her the truth, keeping track of lies is just going to make things worse.

Imagine if you just bought cat food for your actual cat, instead of this web of lies.

but what lie do i say as my truth? how would she appreciate "yeah, so i'm planning on getting a dog, don't have one yet...but, i'm buying food so they'll be fully set when i get one"
also, my cat eats crab/tuna and rabbit. not actual cat food. he's really picky. although, sometimes he will eat dog kibble, but never ever cat kibble (idk why, he's a goofy boy). sometimes he catches mice or birds and eats them, but it's gross.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

conflict, please, this isn't helping. please, i want to finally have a gf after years of being single.

yes! so, since all of you are a bunch of lazybones nincompoops when it comes to helping your friends (for those of you who are wondering - would cactuscat be helpful when helping others? the answer is yes! i would drop everything to help my friends...unlike you lot)

anyway, since snapchat stupidly tells people when you open or screenshot messages, i had to act fast with replying. i've been a near instant replier since we started talking (note - i said near instant, as in, i wait the allotted time (18 minutes) before opening, and then reply right away). but this time? oh jeez, i spent at least 20 minutes before replying to her "you should bring your dog!" message

well, lo and behold - I came up with the perfect, fool-proof plan. I'm watching my neighbors dogs while they're on their retirement vacation. she bought it! and, lucky ducky me, my neighbors dogs were in my yard at this point, so she was like "awww that's so nice of you, send pics!" and so, i trekked out to my backyard, called for my neighbors dogs, and sent her pics.

wheeeeeeeeeeew, what a close call, and it's no thanks to any of you (although i still consider all (well, some) of you as friends)

This gimmick keeps getting weirder tbh

Scofield is taking notes

CactusCat posted...

wheeeeeeeeeeew, what a close call, and it's no thanks to any of you (although i still consider all (well, some) of you as friends)

That just hurts :(

Wow

Just tell her your dog is sick is sick or something. Maybe he's in a kennel or at the vet and you bring him food every so often. She'll probably be more curious, but I doubt this will last long.

Or.. you could be a man and man up

Edit: Wow, you're literally like that generic anime trope for, well I don't want to get modded.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

well, to be fair - i did watch my neighbors dogs and retrieved their mail for a week about a month after i moved here. sooo, technically i did watch their dogs at one point.
would you people (as in, the people of CE) believe that I'm not lying if i send in a myselfie for the selfie topic? i'm just worried some creepazoid is gonna save my pic for their...personal reasons...

Gobstoppers12 posted...

This gimmick keeps getting weirder tbh

first off, not a gimmick. what you're seeing is my authentic, unfiltered self. which, to be honest, should feel like a privilege because it takes other people years to see even half this much of me (besides convenience store girl, i act the same way i act here when we're texting/talking to each other)

Tyranthraxus posted...

Scofield is taking notes

idk who scofield is...the guy from prison break (hit Fox drama about a man who must go through trial and tribulation to free his innocent brother from the grasp of the death penalty)

bsp77 posted...

That just hurts :(

don't worry, you're still my pal :)

itachi15243 posted...

Edit: Wow, you're literally like that generic anime trope for, well I don't want to get modded.

send me a personal PM message to my inbox, enemy.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

i'm 28 :)
and no, saying "winning strategy" when it comes to dating is sick and offensive. by saying "winning" or "losing" you're putting forth the notion that "scoring a date" is a prize, as in the other person who you're dating is a prize, which inherently objectifies them as a person.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

no, you're completely downplaying the nuance of the situation. and before you interject with "but your basis of the relationship is a lie!" - well, romeo and juliet's relationship was also based on a lie, and last i checked that's one of the quintessential love stories of all time.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

why does everyone assume i'm someone's alt? like, can't i be my own person? why is it so absurd that i might be an individual? not everyone is someone's alt.
when you meet a new person at a job or in your friends group, do you ask "hmmm, i wonder if this bloke is an alt of someone i know already?"

CactusCat posted...

send me a personal PM message to my inbox, enemy.

i'm 28 :)
and no, saying "winning strategy" when it comes to dating is sick and offensive. by saying "winning" or "losing" you're putting forth the notion that "scoring a date" is a prize, as in the other person who you're dating is a prize, which inherently objectifies them as a person.

That's not nice, even if late I gave you a perfect excuse.

Also, the guy I'm thinking of is from an anime called yo-no(I don't remember the name very well after that) he's like the embodiment of stuff like this. It's very obvious. I wonder if I can find a video.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Possibly

The dog food thing is sociopathic as fuck

hooooooly shit, i knew there had to be more to an innocent "i asked her out" topic that had 2 pages.

I'm gonna need more popcorn, jesus

I can't believe he's playing the "feign ignorance" schtick on CE in literally 2022. lol. (post 74 et al)

CactusCat posted...

idk who scofield is

Scofield AKA No_U_L7 is an original non-gimmick account, much like yourself, who, also like yourself, likes to tell us of his genuine stories about his dating antics.

Sharashaska posted...

Possibly

possibly in the same way that the sky is possibly orange. (or anaranjado for my spanish-speaking friends)

Naysaspace posted...

The dog food thing is sociopathic as fuck

no, because a sociopath thinks that they're better than everyone else. if anything, it's psycopathy, which i don't have because i only have bpd and insomnia. so ha!

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

ok, so Romeo and Juliet, against their families' wishes, begin and continue to date each other. there is quite a bit of drama surrounding their relationship. in a last ditch effort, Juliet fakes her death to show her family how much they hurt her...but, Romeo was not aware of that trickery and decides to poison himself while wallowing over her alleged corpse. Juliet wakes up to Romeo - dead, on the floor, and decides to drink the poison as well. The play, while tragic, shows how far people will go for love - just like this topic
marked in spoilers cus i know that some jerkface mcgee is gonna mark the post as showing spoilers for a story that's like 500 years old, in a vain attempt at getting me modded and lose my already limited karma.

Tyranthraxus posted...

Scofield AKA No_U_L7 is an original non-gimmick account, much like yourself, who, also like yourself, likes to tell us of his genuine stories about his dating antics.

ah, I see, but unlike him, I don't claim to have a quote-unquote "luxury" condo. I'm just a dude who has had bad luck in the past when it comes to dating (did you know - despite being 6'2" and having that in my tinder bio, i have not once received a message reply on any dating app?) and is now sharing my success with everyone, friend and foe alike.

Scofield's Luxury condo is very real and is instrumental in how he gets to have sex with all these different women who are also real.

Tyranthraxus posted...

Scofield's Luxury condo is very real and is instrumental in how he gets to have sex with all these different women who are also real.

well good for him then. if having sex with random strangers is what makes him happy, then more power to him.
but that's not really my style (being a braggart), i'm more down to earth with a kooky-uncle vibe, think nardwuar meets norm macdonald meets creed from the office. sure, i add some hyperbole and relish here and there, but how boring would it be if i simply said "guys and gals of CE, i have asked out a girl, and she has replied with a confirmation - as in, yes"
sure, i write like i'm trying (and failing? you decide - text yes or no to 343299 now to cast your vote on the "is cactuscat funny?" poll" today! please don't text that number, i made it up) to add some enjoyment, some laughter, some drama, and most of all - some smiles, to the fine people of CE on gamefaqs.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

i mean, i succeeded in lying. and no, not about owning a dog, but about the fact that i'm currently babysitting my neighbors dogs. which, to be fair, did happen a little while ago.
but, no, the main scope of the topic was the success in finally meeting a girl who agreed to go out with me after years of trial and tribulation - hearing no after no, or silence after silence (on dating apps, of course, i have not ever gotten a reply on any dating app)

what's your definition of success?

ok - since everyone is accusing me and berating me for being an alt, i will (due to popular demand) - post a picture of myselfie in the myselfie flopic, here on CE, a subsidiary of gameFAQs.
now, you may be wondering to yourself "but cactuscat, nobody explicitly asked you for a myselfie!"
well, that's where you're wrong - by saying "you're an alt!" you are claiming that my face looks similar to the face of whomever (yes, i am using that correctly...or am i?) you are hereby accusing me of being their alt.
well, jokes on you - i am the alt of nobody. as the rappers will say, i am an OG (original guy)

so, hear ye, hear ye. at this time (8:11 Eastern Standard Time) tomorrow, the 21st day of this month April, I cactuscat, will post a picture of my (yours truly, cactuscat) face in the form of a myselife.

mark your calendar, set your notifications to ring, ring ring, at this time tomorrow - and prepare yourself for the surprise of a life time. will i look like another poster from here? will i look like you? will my post go unnoticed because of the sheer number of people who have already ignored me since my return to gamefaqs? come back tomorrow (let's be frank - you and i both know that there's a good chance you'll be here tomorrow), and see for yourself !!!!

Post it with holding a sign and your username written on it

Why are we waiting? I'll post a pic right now! Actually, I have probably posted enough recently.

Sharashaska posted...

Post it with holding a sign and your username written on it

you don't trust me? but yeah lol, bet. i'll even have my 2 foot tall larry david (of seinfeld and curb your enthusiasm fame) cutout in the shot.

bsp77 posted...

Why are we waiting? I'll post a pic right now! Actually, I have probably posted enough recently.

i like to add an aspect of anticipation to the very limited number of people who can still see my posts. also, by waiting, the chances of more people ignoring me (and thus not seeing my face) increase. win-win.
also, you can never post too much!

I cant wait for when she catches TC in a lie and ghosts him for being creepy.

Atleast the mature women guy tells an interesting tale without being a nut job or a weirdo.

RiKuToTheMiGhtY posted...

I cant wait for when she catches TC in a lie and ghosts him for being creepy.

Atleast the mature women guy tells an interesting tale without being a nut job or a weirdo.

that's really rude, hurtful, and demeaning for you to say that. first off, i really don't think i'm a nut job or a weirdo. sure, i post with a little pizazz, but that doesn't mean i'm a nut job or weird.
as for being creepy? ugh, for real - how is it creepy that i like someone and am trying to find more ways to talk to her? creepy would be, like, sneaking into the manager office of the convenience store, finding her schedule, and then conveniently "bumping into her" whenever her shift is over. which i have not done, because i prefer a natural approach and actually getting to know the person i like and want to date.
like, if anything, maybe she'll find it cute and adorable? who knows, you don't speak for her, ya silly goose.

Lying aint good man. Sooner or later all the truth will be revealed, one way or another

Now you may think "Ok, i lied about having a dog, its not much of a big deal" which in some way could be true, you didnt commit a crime or anything like that, but women are kinda special (Not precisely in the good way) when it comes to trust and even something as innofensive as lying about not having a dog can turn them off pretty easily.

You better come across with a pretty good excuse or be completely honest about not having a dog. If she finds out by your words, it may not be that terrible, but if she finds out that before you tell her it will be game over.

SlamVook posted...

You better come across with a pretty good excuse or be completely honest about not having a dog. If she finds out by your words, it may not be that terrible, but if she finds out that before you tell her it will be game over.

i'm watching my neighbor's dogs (according to me)

and, she's a creep too! i got a message from her saying something like "i found your facebook, why didn't you say you have a cat??!? you should have been sending me pics of him instead!!" and the only way she found my facebook is by being creepy and remembering my last name when i put in my phone number at the convenience store check-out, which shows my customer information on the cash register's screen.
i think we're made for each other since we're both creeps!!

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

what girl doesn't facebook stalk guys she's talking to??

also how come you're so suspicious of me? ugh, it's bad for my self-esteem. more like selfie-steam because i'll probably be fuming by the time i post myselfie from all of the hatred i get from this board.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

I am not sure because...
CactusCat posted...

what girl doesn't facebook stalk guys she's talking to??

...this

Could all be BS though. Undecided, but willing to go along for now.

Congratulations on your engagement!

TldrReturns posted...

Congratulations on your engagement!

Lol!

bsp77 posted...

Could all be BS though. Undecided, but willing to go along for now.

just wait for when i post my long awaited, heavily anticipated myselfie in the myselfie topic. you'll be eating your words through a straw once i post it and prove to all that i'm the truth teller of these lands.

TldrReturns posted...

Congratulations on your engagement!

thanks! we're not engaged, we technically met really recently. but! but but but, our first date, scheduled for saturday is now the second date! since, her parents will be going out of town later this afternoon instead of tomorrow, and she invited me over to watch a movie tonight
gonna be the bomb dot com, i tell ya hwat.

she told me to pick the movie tho, and i have no idea what to choose...ugh