Current Events > Overweight single mothers are desperate for a boyfriend.

(+) Yeah! (+)

assassingriskel posted...

I see the exact opposite plenty of overweight women(who are not necessarily unattractive but that is the topic premise) with objectively good looking men.

I see this too. I also often see the opposite. If I really look at couples, I feel it is about 50/50 on who is more objectively good looking. It seems you are looking for confirmation bias.

assassingriskel posted...

Plus online dating site stats back up this reality

I don't know the stats. When I used them a few years ago, I did well, and I am in my 40s with kids and 20 and 30 something women were still interested. And my younger friends can regularly get dates as well.

Lol these topics
I get the feeling TC is trying to tell us something, a hidden message

bsp77 posted...

I see this too. I also often see the opposite. If I really look at couples, I feel it is about 50/50 on who is more objectively good looking. It seems you are looking for confirmation bias.

I don't know the stats. When I used them a few years ago, I did well, and I am in my 40s with kids and 20 and 30 something women were still interested. And my younger friends can regularly get dates as well.

Do you and your friends have good careers?
Are you tall or appear to be average height or better?
What is your ethnicity?
I have a feeling most of these questions have positive answers which explains your success. Now a women would not need any of the above to get the same success you and your friends enjoyed

bsp77 posted...

To be blunt, overweight mothers can easily get laid, but once they start going for a real relationship, their choices often start drying up in terms of "decent" men.

Look at all the so called "forever alone" guys in this thread who still thumb their noses at a woman who has a kid, or even worse, carries some extra weight.

It doesn't matter since those women don't want them regardless. Hence foreveralone.

Meanwhile the women here saying their options are terrible actually are rejecting the guys considered terrible. The woman rejecting men at least has the hope that one of the men pursuing them is decent some day. The situation still sucks but it's at least not stagnant; even the virgin women on this site report rejecting guys. The shy gamer meeting nobody has no such hope; being completely undesired is a special level of depressing to deal with.

assassingriskel posted...

Do you and your friends have good careers?
Are you tall or appear to be average height or better?
What is your ethnicity?
I have a feeling most of these questions have positive answers which explains your success. Now a women would not need any of the above to get the same success you and your friends enjoyed

Market research, 5'10", white. And I do get your point there.

But that doesn't change my comment about 50/50 with who is more attractive in a relationship.

Ultimately, removing the LGBTQ factor, there are equal numbers of men and women. So when it comes to long term relationships, it evens out in terms of success. It can't be all women compared to top tier men only. That logistically doesn't work. So this fallacy needs to end about relationships.

Sex though is a different matter. Almost all women can get sex when they want it, while only a subset of men can. This means a smaller group of men is having many partners (while others have none), but women are more likely to just have a low number of partners.

Once again, that is just sex. Over time, as long term relationships form, it would have to even out. Math.

bsp77 posted...

Market research, 5'10", white. And I do get your point there.

But that doesn't change my comment about 50/50 with who is more attractive in a relationship.

Ultimately, removing the LGBTQ factor, there are equal numbers of men and women. So when it comes to long term relationships, it evens out in terms of success. It can't be all women compared to top tier men only. That logistically doesn't work. So this fallacy needs to end about relationships.

Sex though is a different matter. Almost all women can get sex when they want it, while only a subset of men can. This means a smaller group of men is having many partners (while others have none), but women are more likely to just have a low number of partners.

Once again, that is just sex. Over time, as long term relationships form, it would have to even out. Math.

It does not have to even out for the math to make sense. A person can jump from LTR to LTR. It can be conceivable that the same top tier males like yourself and your friends cycle through 100's of women(an exaggeration but you get the point). If the math evened out data sites wouldnt be dominated by lonely undesirable men.

assassingriskel posted...

It does not have to even out for the math to make sense. A person can jump from LTR to LTR. It can be conceivable that the same top tier males like yourself and your friends cycle through 100's of women(an exaggeration but you get the point). If the math evened out data sites wouldnt be dominated by lonely undesirable men.

Most people eventually end up in a truly long term relationship, so it would even out. Or at least close to even.

Instead of worrying about that stuff, worry about what you can do to improve yourself and make yourself more desirable. Always happy to help with advice. Sorry if that sounds patronizing, but I mean it.

Also, I have a hard time viewing myself as top tier. Above average, but not top tier. I just learned how to communicate with women well.

bsp77 posted...

Most people eventually end up in a truly long term relationship, so it would even out. Or at least close to even.

Instead of worrying about that stuff, worry about what you can do to improve yourself and make yourself more desirable. Always happy to help with advice. Sorry if that sounds patronizing, but I mean it.

Also, I have a hard time viewing myself as top tier. Above average, but not top tier. I just learned how to communicate with women well.

To be honest and if you are offering advice I should probably pm you instead I thought about that. But there are things that I cannot change about myself that make working on self-improvement in a romantic sense worthless. I will never be what a women wants or desires and thats a fact. That does not make a women wrong for liking what they like just stating an objective truth

bsp77 posted...

Instead of worrying about that stuff, worry about what you can do to improve yourself and make yourself more desirable. Always happy to help with advice. Sorry if that sounds patronizing, but I mean it.

I think the other person's point is guys have to do this while women don't, which idk how true that is

assassingriskel posted...

To be honest and if you are offering advice I should probably pm you instead I thought about that. But there are things that I cannot change about myself that make working on self-improvement in a romantic sense worthless. I will never be what a women wants or desires and thats a fact.

Feel free to PM if you want. I do argue here a lot but I generally don't have hard feelings. I also know the frustration you have. I have been there. I have a convoluted history.

bobbaaay posted...

You know damn well that height isn't even going to matter to most incels with those numbers I gave
Even if a woman is nearing 6' tall they'd still think anything over 150# would be too heavy. IBW for a 6' tall woman would be exactly 150# +/- 5#.

Also the way that incels talk about weight they act as though I'm in a seeeeevere minority. I don't know man - there are dozens upon dozens of Reddit groups and whatnot for bbw that have hundreds of thousands of followers. I'm sure you could look at porn streaming sites and it'd be more than a dozen people looking up bbw.
Also just -- life experience? Most of my friends and most people I work with have "overweight" wives. I don't know what normie-ass utopia people live in where everyone supposedly makes six figures and is underweight? Even working in healthcare - in an area with relatively decent health indicators - I can say not every single person I work with or know is a "healthy" weight.
I'm sure preferring bigger women is the minority - but it's still a pretty sizable minority, pun not intended.

A lot of people let themselves go once they're in a relationship or have kids. That's different

For dating purposes, with no strong emotional attachment formed yet, I would expect a lot of guys, incel or not incel, to be turned off by bigger women. I even bet a lot of people who are into the occasional BBW porn viewing probably wouldn't want to actually date one

This idea that incels think they're too good for fat women but the successful 100k chads and "good people" are snatching them up(or giving them a chance) is basically what I'm arguing against.

MedeaLysistrata posted...

I think the other person's point is guys have to do this while women don't, which idk how true that is

I get that, I do. But we have to live in the society we have. Men and women both have struggles, albeit different ones.

bsp77 posted...

I get that, I do. But we have to live in the society we have. Men and women both have struggles, albeit different ones.

Yeah

It's not like lowering standards on fat women even makes foreveralones any more likely to get a date. As others have said, plenty of decent men chubby chase for some reason or another nowadays. I've attracted far more thin/average women than fat women (probably because I'm a small dude, but still >_>), and fat women have given out some of the most brutal rejections I've seen (probably due to insecurity).

We live in an era where pretty much any woman can encounter dudes sexually interested in her, and that keeps them from growing desperate.

I think I spend too much time thinking about this

Hoodroar posted...

It's not like lowering standards on fat women even makes foreveralones any more likely to get a date. As others have said, plenty of decent men chubby chase for some reason or another nowadays. I've attracted far more thin/average women than fat women (probably because I'm a small dude, but still >_>), and fat women have given out some of the most brutal rejections I've seen (probably due to insecurity).

We live in an era where pretty much any woman can encounter dudes sexually interested in her, and that keeps them from growing desperate.

I mean let's just admit it, men are just hornier than women on average. When they're deprived of something, they're going to get desperate regardless in how they're going to get it whether that means chubby chasing or going after women they normally wouldn't to hit it.

But let's make another point, sex=/=long term relationship or marriage. Some people make this synonymous when that can't be further from the truth. Just because women are more likely to get sex doesn't mean they're more likely to get married or be in a long term relationship. How many young men are actually even ready for matrimony maturely or fiscally?