Current Events > small update on my saga to meet biological relatives for the first time

(+) Yeah! (+)

(for anyone without context, I'm adopted and I've never known anyone biologically related to me. I haven't been so active in searching mostly. A bunch of years ago, I went on one of those DNA sites for shits and giggles).

A few months ago, someone I was related to and had reached out to previously (without a response) actually did respond, and I reached back out.

As it turns out, he is seeking information too, about his biological father (who according to the DNA site is my biological uncle). I don't know if he is also adopted or if he was raised by his biological mother and she just doesn't know for sure who the father is. In any case, I expressed wanting to meet up and he wants that as well, so in all likelihood, I will be knowingly meeting my first biological relative in my entire life... at almost 40... which probably seems fucking insane for most of you >_>... but I am who I am and it is what it is. I'll post updates when I have them and feel like it.

Good for you TC

I didn't do much to be fair. Good on this dude for reaching out to me tbh

Machete posted...

I didn't do much to be fair. Good on this dude for reaching out to me tbh

Yeah, I'd have been rather apathetic too if I find out I was adopted.

Dang TC, hope this is the start of more to come

Did you have people that served as your parents, brothers and uncles or anything?

cool story, keep giving us updates please

I was adopted at 2 months old so I don't know how to answer questions here lol. My parents (adoptive) were up frobt with me so not only have I have always know I was adopted but as a kid I explained it to other kids who didn't know the term lol.

From how it sounds, this dude is a 2nd cousib or 1st once removed? Not sure how all that works. It spunds like he never knew his biological father (not sure if adopted like me or raised by single mother), but he apparently joined the site to find more infornation like I did so at the very least, we might be able to to give each other more insight, which is the mutual goal, so it's good, no matter how it turns out.

If you ever meet your biological parents, you should force yourself to tear up and choke out the words "Wh- why didn't you want me, mommy and daddy?"

Just to mess with 'em.

Heartomaton posted...

If you ever meet your biological parents, you should force yourself to tear up and choke out the words "Wh- why didn't you want me, mommy and daddy?"

Just to mess with 'em.

from what little I know about them, they would not be in the same place at the same time, so that scenario isn't likely to be possible at all >_>

Machete posted...

from what little I know about them, they would not be in the same place at the same time, so that scenario isn't likely to be possible at all >_>

Eh, it can easily be adjusted to a singular parent.

This is awesome, and I wish you luck, TC.

My Wife nerds out on genetic genealogy. She always wanted to be a criminal detective but she didn't go down that route, so figuring out people's family trees is what she does as a hobby.

My brother-in-law was adopted as a baby, and the orphanage got shut down with it's records destroyed early in his life.

My Wife was able to figure out who his biological father and mother was just through an Ancestry DNA test. She had to use Facebook and Census records to "stalk down" the parents. The US government has the "72 year rule" where you can't see records of living people but you can take older records and use DNA and facebook to kind of "connect the dots" if you know what I mean.

She sent 2 letters out by mail to the birth parents. You have to do things professionally in this kind of situation. No bad grammar emails or FB messages. The mother ignored the letter and after an email response she got a reply from another family member saying to "Leave her alone!"

The response from the biological father was that of disbelief and excitement! He didn't know my brother-in-law existed and he had sex with a girl on a one-off fling before she moved to Germany. In the 80's abortion was illegal in Germany so my brother-in-law came into existence and was immediately put up for adoption. He currently has a wonderful relationship with his new half-sisters and biological Dad. They go on vacations together and hang out a few times a year.

had first conversation ever tonight. Everything is confirmed. We are cousins, 1st or once removed or whatever lol. I don't know how all that works and I don't have enough info (same with him) but we exchanged info. Out of all of my dozen or so "close matches" all are his too including his kids and grandkids, (further confirming we're related) and the ONE person related to me that isn't related to him is exactly as expected, on the other side, so it makes even more sense. He's a bit older and that makes sense too. His biological father (he doesn't know who he is) and my biological father (I don't know who he is) are apparently brothers, and mine is the youngest, so this makes sense.

All in all, we had a good chat. we're staying in touch. He is very actively looking to find his biological family and while I am as well, he's in a "I just don't know my father" scenario while I'm in a "I don't fucking know anyone lol -_- you tell me?" scenario, which is annoying but I only have the info that I have :P

Anyway, that's the update for now. tl;dr relation confirmed, good talk had, contact to continue