Current Events > /Me, an alien, dropped into your room. How would you acquaint me with earth

(+) Yeah! (+)

society?

Let's say I was a super awkward alien but I could take shape of a human. What are the things that you would show me that would help me fit in? Music, music videos, books to read, etc?

welcome to earf
*punches you in the face*

Do you inexplicably know English? If not, I'd start by showing you evidence that I know the Pythagoream theorem and that I know what planet I'm on in reference to the sun.

Yes let's say I automatically download any language that you speak but can't download anything else (other than basic motor function and whatnot). So I need to know how to fit in and be a normal person

Turbam's Pokemon trainer topics. It's a good way to see the duality of man.

AlCalavicci posted...

Yes let's say I automatically download any language that you speak but can't download anything else (other than basic motor function and whatnot). So I need to know how to fit in and be a normal person

I'd give you a laptop and show you 4chan. In a few days I'd return to see what you've learned about humans.

mars attacks

You are made to watch the following movies:
Schindler's List
Pursuit of Happiness
Joker

You are made to read the following books:
Jennifer Government
Heart of Darkness
The Modern Prometheus

Good luck have fun.

AlCalavicci posted...

society?

Let's say I was a super awkward alien but I could take shape of a human. What are the things that you would show me that would help me fit in? Music, music videos, books to read, etc?

Music or music videos: Skrillex (I guess, I don't really keep up with music these days. I guess the point here would be to show that we have technology capable of creating such music.)
Books: Not sure (I would recommend The Lord of the Rings series, but that would probably just confuse the alien more than anything.)

Basically, I'd just show the alien this list:
Pros
-fairly high-end machines, electronics, & computers
-fairly high-end cyber network (with; text, images, videos, & audio)
-medium-end weapons (handheld combustion projectile weapons, missiles, nukes, etc.)
-no recent wars (mainly because of nukes)
Cons
-too many variants of food products (many of them unhealthy) & restaurants
-too much time, effort, and resources put into entertainment
-the overly rich (& overly large houses)
-too much breeding (resulting in over-population, not enough jobs, and not enough prime living space)
-technology that is reducing the amount of jobs (resulting in high unemployment & societal dissatisfaction)
-non-standardized cars
-non-optimized education system
-non-optimized global society
-not enough use of solar power (or other efficient & safe power sources)
-not enough R&D into new technologies
-low-end medical industry
-stagnation (evolutionary, technological, & societal)
-old governments unwilling to change
-cyber security nightmare (very poorly regulated & exploitation of international laws)
-type 0 (out of 3) society (we don't have full domination over our own planet yet (nor have our governments merged into a world government))

Also, what's your grand agenda? Experimentation? Amusement? Conquering? Resources? Information for defensive, offensive, scientific, or technological purposes?
I couldn't imagine you'd be doing it for energy. It seems you're advanced enough to not have to worry about that. Unless you plan on using the humans for some type of energy source like the matrix (although I don't think that's very efficient because as I said, I'm sure you have a much more efficient energy source).

I guess after I establish dominance, I give them a beer? This is America and everyone has to learn by themselves.

Unless it's a girl obviously.

The same way we acquaint our own children with the world:

I plop them down in front of the TV with some Mountain Dew while I go get some strange.

"Ay yo... you gotta ship? Cause we gotta get the fuck outta here! Like, now."

@RedLuigi

Trumble posted...

@RedLuigi

I grab them by their TRUMBLES and squeegee their Luigis until they scream I am the hot alien, I am the hot alien

Actually the first thing I'd ask the alien would be;
"Do you think it's ethical to imprison someone in a matrix-esque mind-prison, and annoy them with little subliminal mockeries?"
Then he'd probably just stare blankly at me for a second then say something like;
"Haha, are you serious? That sounds like one of the worst things I can imagine, no that's not ethical at all!"

Actually if your point is to just "hang out", then I probably just chill with you & watch some super-lame minecraft videos. At which point you'd probably start to get extremely bored & angry & start cussing in your alien jibberish & threaten to vaporize me with your ray gun.

I'd tell you to run while you still could, because humanity is a mostly irideemable shit-show.