Current Events > Thoughts about the Noah's Ark story

(+) Yeah! (+)

It was an ark. Not a boat. Not a ship. Just a floating box. No sails, no rudder. It just goes where the current takes it.

So who's to say the pre-ark stuff didn't happen in like Guadalajara? And they just kinda floated to the middle east and set up shop and that's where post-ark stuff happened? But maybe genesis actually occurred somewhere completely different!

Why no insects?

Did God just assume they'd be okay and not mention them

nonsensical I think sums it up well.

Great flood stories predate Noah and most likely are the result of catastrophic flooding between the Tigris and the Euphrates wiping out everyone in that whole region.

s0nicfan posted...

Great flood stories predate Noah and most likely are the result of catastrophic flooding between the Tigris and the Euphrates wiping out everyone in that whole region.

This

The Sumerians had a story that likely inspired the Noah story

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ziusudra?wprov=sfla1

Y'all are boring af everyone knows about the flood myths. I'm trying to do something fun.

lilORANG posted...

Y'all are boring af everyone knows about the flood myths. I'm trying to do something fun.

Fine, Noah was Hispanic and that's why many years later the Messiah was a carpenter named jesus.

HylianFox posted...

Why no insects?

Did God just assume they'd be okay and not mention them

Even stinkbeetles?

Taking the story literally, yeah it's a technical mess that doesn't really make much sense. Metaphorically, it's still a mess but at least a lot of the story issues can be explained away.

s0nicfan posted...

Fine, Noah was Hispanic and that's why many years later the Messiah was a carpenter named jesus.

Brilliant!

Noah: "Fuck land, I'm on a boat motherfucker!"

At least we can assume it was the Flood that killed the dinosaurs. Obviously, all the aquatic ones would have drowned.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


All the mythological creatures. That's why we don't have unicorns.

s0nicfan posted...

All the mythological creatures. That's why we don't have unicorns.

Damn, even dragons?

lilORANG posted...

It was an ark. Not a boat. Not a ship. Just a floating box. No sails, no rudder. It just goes where the current takes it.

So who's to say the pre-ark stuff didn't happen in like Guadalajara? And they just kinda floated to the middle east and set up shop and that's where post-ark stuff happened? But maybe genesis actually occurred somewhere completely different!

The story of Noah's Ark has as much validity as "The Giant Beanstalk "

Prestoff posted...

Damn, even dragons?

Noah insisted that the dragons were vegan and they wasted away on their own.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

https://youtu.be/CqeXZFMxJn8?t=27

I'm a Christian and I think it's pretty much nonsense. Likely just a massive embellishment about a regional flood of some sort.

Zikten posted...

This

The Sumerians had a story that likely inspired the Noah story

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ziusudra?wprov=sfla1

Utnapishtim. The story is extremely similar, too.

I am christian, but I cannot deny that the Old Testament creation stories (Genesis, basically) are very much inspired by Sumerian, Akkadian and Assyrian myths. Noah = Utnapishtim, Sargon = Moses, etc.

The great flood was either derived from the major floods that occurred in Mesopotamia, or if you want to go back further, the Sumerians did not actually originate from mesopotamia, as their language was not related to the Semitic languages of the region, and one of the prevailing theories is that they kept getting pushed North by the encroaching seas that kept rising from the end of the ice age.

The Hebrew Old testament that Abraham, the father of what essentially became Judaism, Christianity and Islam, came from the Sumerian city of Ur.

EmbraceOfDeath posted...

Even stinkbeetles?

Especially stinkbeetles!

Noah was possibly a climatologist in Atlantis or somewhere similar. He hypothesized some kind of glacial dam breaking and flooding the entire continent. Climate change deniers did what they do best. Atlantis submerged and Noah populates the other continents with mammals from his home. Mammals become extremely successful invasive species and wipe out the dinosaurs from underneath.

How'd I do

Its actually the story of the planetary crossing. They selected samples of native species to take with then to populate their new planet. Its written as an allegory because they wanted to start over and let people forget that they came from another planet.