Current Events > Current Events, would you let me rub your bum?

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Kakapo
01/19/22 1:23:04 AM
#1:


For luck.

I promise it probably wouldnt be some creepy thing.

Please note: I am not a professionally accredited bum rubber and merely rub bums in an amateur, pro bono capacity. Please seek other assistance if you wish your bum to be rubbed by a qualified professional.

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Heartomaton
01/19/22 1:26:38 AM
#2:


Can you afford it?

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https://www.youtube.com/user/Heartomaton
Heartomaton for President 2028.
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IShall_Run_Amok
01/19/22 1:27:56 AM
#3:


Yes.

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Everything you love was always woke, and its less woke than it used to be, and that's why its not as good anymore, because its less woke. Also you suck.
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Naysaspace
01/19/22 1:28:32 AM
#4:


i know what a kakapo is

hell no

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#BladeGang
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Kakapo
01/19/22 1:28:41 AM
#5:


Heartomaton posted...
Can you afford it?
I have a personal rule never to pay to rub someones bum.

If you asked someone with the know-how and the can-do to unblock your pipes, you wouldnt ask them to pay you for the privilege if you werent paying them.

I might not be elbow-deep in filth if I rub your bum, unlike if I was unblocking your pipes, but still.

Its the principle of the thing

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Did my singing please you? No, the words you sang were wrong
24 hour party parrot
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Kakapo
01/19/22 1:29:26 AM
#6:


IShall_Run_Amok posted...
Yes.
Good, Ill rub your bum so hard a genie pops out.

Well share the wishes 2:1

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Did my singing please you? No, the words you sang were wrong
24 hour party parrot
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Heartomaton
01/19/22 1:29:45 AM
#7:


Kakapo posted...
I have a personal rule never to pay to rub someones bum.

If you asked someone with the know-how and the can-do to unblock your pipes, you wouldnt ask them to pay you for the privilege if you werent paying them.

I might now be elbow-deep in filth if I rub your bum, unlike if I was unblocking your pipes, but still.

Its the principle of the thing

I'll take that as a no.

---
https://www.youtube.com/user/Heartomaton
Heartomaton for President 2028.
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Kakapo
01/19/22 8:42:39 PM
#8:


Anyone want a bum rub?

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Did my singing please you? No, the words you sang were wrong
24 hour party parrot
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Vyrulisse
01/19/22 8:43:26 PM
#9:


Could you make it creepy?

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http://i.imgur.com/6VeX04D.jpg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MryA0iKJoOo
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Kakapo
01/19/22 8:44:31 PM
#10:


Vyrulisse posted...
Could you make it creepy?
That depends, how creepy do you want it?

High pitched giggling or heavy breathing, or do you want me to bring out the stage lighting and rubber hands?

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Did my singing please you? No, the words you sang were wrong
24 hour party parrot
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DrizztLink
01/19/22 8:47:17 PM
#11:


I have a counter offer for everyone.

I am a professionally accredited bum rubber and offer rub bums in an professional, possibly pro bono capacity.

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http://guidesmedia.ign.com/guides/9846/images/slowpoke.gif https://i.imgur.com/M8h2ATe.png
https://i.imgur.com/6ezFwG1.png
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Kakapo
01/19/22 8:54:47 PM
#12:


DrizztLink posted...
I have a counter offer for everyone.

I am a professionally accredited bum rubber and offer rub bums in an professional, possibly pro bono capacity.
Ignore this fundament friction fraud! He slings fallacies and falsehoods!

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Did my singing please you? No, the words you sang were wrong
24 hour party parrot
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misterbum
01/19/22 8:55:38 PM
#13:


I feel violated

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Kakapo
01/19/22 9:57:05 PM
#14:


misterbum posted...
I feel violated
Im not rubbing this bum, mister!

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Did my singing please you? No, the words you sang were wrong
24 hour party parrot
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Kakapo
01/21/22 1:15:05 AM
#15:


Bum rubbing has been scientifically* proven to assist with the following:

  • Reduction of stress
  • increased circulation
  • feelings of general wellbeing
The following adverse effects have been reported:
  • Topical swelling in adjacent areas
  • Increased mucus production
  • Hallucinations consistent with religious experiences


*Scientifically proven by Kakapo, MD**.

**The MD in this case standing for Massive Dangle***

*** Seriously, that thing is prodigious. Its brobdingnagian.

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Did my singing please you? No, the words you sang were wrong
24 hour party parrot
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