Current Events > C/D proposing to a woman in public is coercion

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https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/0/1/9/AAPtAUAACy9b.jpg

Lol pretty sure women came up with the idea of proposing...not men.

man r scum!

Proposing on the jumbotron at a sports game is the absolute worst

WingsOfGood posted...

Lol pretty sure women came up with the idea of proposing...not men.

wasn't it the diamond/jewelry companies that fabricated this processes for the sake of selling engagement rings?

No prob I wont be wasting any money on an engagement ring

SnipeStar posted...

wasn't it the diamond/jewelry companies that fabricated this processes for the sake of selling engagement rings?

I believe giving a ring is old as greek civilization.

I know I wouldn't do i it, unless if she explicitly told me she wanted a public proposal sometime beforehand.

Dakimakura posted...

man r scum!

100% correct, gurl!!

It can be depending on the context. Obviously not every public proposal is but some abusive men will try and trap women into accepting this way. Often they just started dating for a few months or are doing it to win them back after they did something awful. But if a woman is saying no chances are its not a surprise to the person doing the proposal. People dont do surprise random proposals in healthy relationships. Its discussed thoroughly before it gets to that point.

Dakimakura posted...

man r scum!

Well, yes, but not for this reason!

Jokes aside, surprise public proposals are pretty much exclusively an asshole move.

I feel like if you are gonna do a public proposal, you basically need a buy in from the person you are proposing to. Not to say you tell them you are going to propose but like some couples know they are getting married and the proposal is largely a formality.

But like if you aren't actually sure of the answer before proposing, then a public proposal feels a bit manipulative. You are injecting a lot of factors into the question besides "do I want to marry this person?" Which doesn't feel fair.

Lmao coercion? Get the fuck out of here! Most guys do it in public, because at that point, the girl already expects it. So the guy tries to surprise her.

Same concept with surprise birthday parties. You know, everyone knows it's your birthday. So you know the party is coming, but the surprise is, where and how they throw you a party.

'Coercion' might be a bit of a stretch, but I've always felt that if you're going to do a grand public proposal, you'd better be damn sure she's going to say yes and mean it.

Well it is pretty much putting her on the spot. Never think about doing that unless she mentioned marriage beforehand. Even then it's attention-whorey af. Do that shit in private.

Who proposes without already knowing that the answer will be yes?

bsp77 posted...

Who proposes without already knowing that the answer will be yes?

Idiots?

WingsOfGood posted...

I believe giving a ring is old as greek civilization.

are we conflating wedding rings with engagement rings?

If you are doing it as a surprise then yes it is.

You need to work out that you both want to get engaged first, then you can use a public proposal as a way to announce the engagement that was already agreed on.

Coercion? No. She can easily say no. Is it corny? Absolutely. I proposed to my wife privately just us 2. No big display no tons of random strangers around. If you have a girl that wants a public proposal run the fuck away, because she will be the bitch that posts 130 pics on social media showing off her ring..lol.