Poll of the Day > I've come to terms with being single and no longer feel like shit because of it.

(+) Yeah! (+)

However, getting rejected by every girl I asked out (and some I was just trying to be friends with, who assumed I asked them out) still stings. I just can't figure out how to not feel like a pathetic loser over that fact. If I was single but had some success with women in the past I would feel just fine.

Is there a way to properly come to terms with that and not feel like a loser?

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Reject them first. Or pretend you didn't want them anyways

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You just havent found the right one yet. It hurts to get turned down or ignored. It just sucks. But the truth is that theres people out there for you, you just gotta keep rolling those dice. Its RNG.

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PeterPumpknhead posted...

You just havent found the right one yet. It hurts to get turned down or ignored. It just sucks. But the truth is that theres people out there for you, you just gotta keep rolling those dice. Its RNG.

I'm not even looking for the right one. Gotta crawl before you can walk, but it's like, how is it so easy for everyone else and I can't even get crumbs? I went to the bar yesterday with some friends and they both left me to hang all over some guys. Every other girl was too, and I was sitting there drinking a bit getting 0 attention.

Feels like I'm stuck on level 1 of a game while everyone else is beating it

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what zero pussy does to a mfer

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Every rejection is a learning scenario and opportunity for growth.

Are you approaching 30? This feeling might be your wizardly brain developing

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BEERandWEED posted...

Every rejection is a learning scenario and opportunity for growth.

I've tried learning why they reject me but it's always "ohh I have a bf" or "I don't see you that way but you'll make someone really happy one day" so I'm not really sure what to make of that.

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arv here

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Blightzkrieg posted...

Are you approaching 30? This feeling might be your wizardly brain developing

I am approaching 30 but I'm not a virgin. My ex initiated our relationship but I don't count that as a success because I didn't ask her out

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Muscles posted...

I've tried learning why they reject me but it's always "ohh I have a bf" or "I don't see you that way but you'll make someone really happy one day" so I'm not really sure what to make of that.

You go after the wrong women.

Muscles posted...

I'm not even looking for the right one. Gotta crawl before you can walk, but it's like, how is it so easy for everyone else and I can't even get crumbs? I went to the bar yesterday with some friends and they both left me to hang all over some guys. Every other girl was too, and I was sitting there drinking a bit getting 0 attention.

Feels like I'm stuck on level 1 of a game while everyone else is beating it

almost everyone feels that way some times

is a bar really where you feel you are in your element? Are you looking for women that like hanging out at bars?

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BEERandWEED posted...

You go after the wrong women.

I'm fairly indiscriminate when it comes to that, I've asked out girls of all races, personalities, body types, looks, etc. Hell, I've even asked out girls I wasn't into because I thought they were into me, and still got rejected, so I'm not sure if that's the problem

PeterPumpknhead posted...

almost everyone feels that way some times

is a bar really where you feel you are in your element? Are you looking for women that like hanging out at bars?

I didn't go to look for girls there, I went to get some drinks with friends, but after looking around I felt extremely lonely despite not wanting anyone there.

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You gotta go somewhere that you feel more comfortable and just talk about stuff that actually interests you

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I'm not really looking for anyone right now, I just want to figure out how to not feel like a loser for having, quite literally, 0% success

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The way you describe your experiences asking girls out sounds like how I used to apply for jobs, which was to put my resume in for basically everything that I was at some minimum level qualified for, even if I knew they were gonna see me as underqualified, or if it didn't even sound interesting to me. You end up getting in your own head with shit like that, and focusing on your "success" rate and making it a self-fulfilling prophecy that "no one wants me" because you're just setting yourself up for failure at an elevated rate.

And I mean you can do that but that's what you do when you're confident and can handle the rejection, not when you get mad at rejection

CoorsLight posted...

The way you describe your experiences asking girls out sounds like how I used to apply for jobs, which was to put my resume in for basically everything that I was at some minimum level qualified for, even if I knew they were gonna see me as underqualified, or if it didn't even sound interesting to me. You end up getting in your own head with shit like that, and focusing on your "success" rate and making it a self-fulfilling prophecy that "no one wants me" because you're just setting yourself up for failure at an elevated rate.

And I mean you can do that but that's what you do when you're confident and can handle the rejection, not when you get mad at rejection

None of the individual rejections hurt. I get it, girls have bfs or shit going on or they just don't like me that way (been plenty of girls I don't see that way so I get it) but it adds up. Like, I know I can make someone happy if they give me a chance but I don't really get any chances to prove myself.

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It really sounds like you're too caught up in making the other person happy, instead of being happy together. Stop trying to prove your worth, just be worthy.

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SunWuKung420 posted...

It really sounds like you're too caught up in making the other person happy, instead of being happy together. Stop trying to prove your worth, just be worthy.

I just go out and ask out any girl that catches my eye, whether it's because of looks, personality or shared interests, it doesn't matter which, I'll just be like fuck it, I'm asking her out and go up and do it. There's really no trying to prove myself. Just a hail Mary attempt

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Muscles posted...

I just go out and ask out any girl that catches my eye, whether it's because of looks, personality or shared interests, it doesn't matter which, I'll just be like fuck it, I'm asking her out and go up and do it. There's really no trying to prove myself. Just a hail Mary attempt

thats not really desirable to most people

its not a job interview, most people want a real connection. You gotta be comfortable enough to let your guard down and show your real self to people.

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I thought dates where you connect, am I wrong with that assumption?

Also I thought just going up and asking instead of chickening out or pussy footing around was an attractive trait

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Jesus Christ dude that makes you come off like a creepy weirdo who watches PUA videos. Stop thinking of it like some game where you have to hedge your bets. People can pick up on desperation especially when you act like that. You gotta have a real conversation with people. It can be a chance to connect with them (not necessarily in a romantic way), or if isn't but you're polite and amicable that's a perfectly fine thing too, not everyone is meant to be friends. Don't go up to people making yourself look like you just want pussy

I don't watch pua videos so I'm not sure whet you mean there. Also I don't just go up to strangers and ask them out, it's usually coworkers, classmates, or friends of friends that I kinda know but want to get to know better.

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First off, don't liken getting a date to playing a video game, that's like some highschool level shit.

I get it you're venting and all but like others said you gotta be careful because you're coming off as desperate and it's not a leap to say women can sense this from the way you seem to describe your actions.

Also you don't have to "Prove" yourself to someone in order to win affection or dates, you have to "Be" yourself, I know that's generic advice but that's always what got me the most attention from others, romantic and platonic, getting to a position where you can talk about yourself is always a good spot to be in a conversation.

Watch a Joel Haver film.

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Cruddy_horse posted...

First off, don't liken getting a date to playing a video game, that's like some highschool level shit.

I get it you're venting and all but like others said you gotta be careful because you're coming off as desperate and it's not a leap to say women can sense this from the way you seem to describe your actions.

Also you don't have to "Prove" yourself to someone in order to win affection or dates, you have to "Be" yourself, I know that's generic advice but that's always what got me the most attention from others, romantic and platonic, getting to a position where you can talk about yourself is always a good spot to be in a conversation.

I definitely used to do that and have been living more genuinely, or at least trying too. I still have bad days like today where I fall back into old mindsets. Though even in my more confident and open mindset I still got rejected, it just doesn't phase me usually, it just hits hard randomly one day.

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Getting rejected or overlooked always hurts. Dont think Ive met a person immune to it.

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