Current Events > Are you willing to change for your S/O if you really love them?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Or if they really love you they would just accept you for who you are?

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They should love you for who you are and encourage self improvement not try to change you.

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It depends on the change. Could I quit gaming for true love? Sure. Being willing and being capable are two separate things.


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Depends on the level of change.

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No. Change should never be demanded form eithe rperson, if you can't live with a person as is, then you should just fuck and go your separate ways. When I actually enter a relationship, the only thing I change is I stop fucking other women.

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M_Live posted...

Question is too open ended. Would I change a toxic behavior for the betterment of a relationship? Sure, I would try. Would I like, fundamentally change who I am or give up something I enjoy? Prolly not.

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"I do my thing and you do your thing.
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,
And you are not in this world to live up to mine.
You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful.
If not, it can't be helped." -- Fritz Perls

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Are you willing to change for your S/O if you really love them?

Those typically go hand-in-hand.

While fairy tales and Disney portray love as unconditional...attraction is most certainly not. To love, you have to care, which is a condition and so forth. There has to be an interest developed in the first place and maintained. In reality, love between human beings is VERY conditional.

You know what else is very conditional? Maintaining a long term relationship. If you're serious about doing your part to keep that spark alive, do you know what you're going to inevitably have to do in order to maintain it?

Commitment and compromise.

Two fundamental elements of healthy relationships that self-centered and lazy people always seem to have an issue with...while the people in happy relationships don't.

If you genuinely love someone, you're open to compromising to a limit. Either today or some day down the line, it's going to come up. Having standards is fine. Preferring to be with someone who respects your principles is a logical expectation and worth holding out for. Just realize a healthy relationship is a 2-way street and how you maintain the balance of that between 2 people for years is compromises. One person doing 99% of the work and making all the changes is typically not enough. If you ever want to know how strong of a relationship partner you really are, take account of the amount and degree of compromises you have been willing to make in order to preserve a connection that's valuable to you. If you notice you can't do that even when it's reasonable, well...get a pet. Pray it survives. Human dating is not for you.

I'm familiar with this stuff because my partner and I have been together for over 5 years now and we figured out that we have gone through natural changes over time as a couple. And as gay men who value an exclusive partnership, we're a bit of a contrast to longstanding parts of our demographic that promotes FWBs and dumping each other at the first disagreement. Yet despite any hurdles, we valued being together and learning new ways to accommodate each other because we DESIRE the other to also be happy. I'm not content unless I know my man is comfortable too. Sometimes that takes work and a compromise. Obviously I would not still be with him if he was asking too much. But if he was....that's on me for choosing him in the first place.

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M_Live posted...

Question is too open ended. Would I change a toxic behavior for the betterment of a relationship? Sure, I would try. Would I like, fundamentally change who I am or give up something I enjoy? Prolly not.

good answer

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