Current Events > All I do now is second guess my ability and anything in that vein

(+) Yeah! (+)

I have nothing to show for myself, so I can't but help question whether something is seriously wrong with me. If I ended up in this position then it just says nothing good about me.

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You're ok. I don't even give it a first guess.

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BloodMoon7 posted...

You're ok. I don't even give it a first guess.

Hmm I just think if I was ok I would be experiencing more success. I have accomplished so little and I doubt I will start doing that now.

Anyway you have srs pessimistic energy, so I wonder what you actually think.

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MedeaLysistrata posted...

Hmm I just think if I was ok I would be experiencing more success. I have accomplished so little and I doubt I will start doing that now.

Anyway you have srs pessimistic energy, so I wonder what you actually think.

You're wrong. Not having success is actually the default. Success is earned through perseverance, through trial and error and honest effort (well for regular folk anyway). But just putting in that effort doesn't mean you will have success. If you're taking the time to rexamine yourself, then you haven't given up yet. All that's left is to try again.

Just don't keep trying the same things, it's not working out for a reason.

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BloodMoon7 posted...

You're wrong. Not having success is actually the default. Success is earned through perseverance, through trial and error and honest effort (well for regular folk anyway). But just putting in that effort doesn't mean you will have success. If you're taking the time to rexamine yourself, then you haven't given up yet. All that's left is to try again.

Just don't keep trying the same things, it's not working out for a reason.

Given that most people at 30 have accomplished more than seems to be possible for myself is what makes me question whether I am actual not compatible with most social situations including work.

If success had to be earned, then the shameful part is that so many people have earned it while a few people just don't at all. But I guess not everyone can be a winner...

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MedeaLysistrata posted...

Given that most people at 30 have accomplished more than seems to be possible for myself is what makes me question whether I am actual not compatible with most social situations including work.

If success had to be earned, then the shameful part is that so many people have earned it while a few people just don't at all. But I guess not everyone can be a winner...

Ok. Who are those people at 30? You can't compare yourself at such a surface level. What's your idea of success and how does it line up with your realistic prospects?

Success (for the most part) has to be earned, just like with all things (for most people) but it's not about winning and losing. That's the wrong way to look at it. I think you just don't know what you want, you keep saying success and it starts to sound really vague.

Just like your life.

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BloodMoon7 posted...

Ok. Who are those people at 30? You can't compare yourself at such a surface level. What's your idea of success and how does it line up with your realistic prospects?

Success (for the most part) has to be earned, just like with all things (for most people) but it's not about winning and losing. That's the wrong way to look at it. I think you just don't know what you want, you keep saying success and it starts to sound really vague.

Just like your life.

I want a job at an NGO as a programme
officer. I tried and failed and now I'm just, like, why did it not work out and what about me fell short. I think you just missed the times when I was specific about this issue being a critical failure, when others in my cohort were able to do it.

It is about winning and losing, for some people, maybe that doesn't apply to you.

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MedeaLysistrata posted...

I want a job at an NGO as a programme
officer. I tried and failed and now I'm just, like, why did it not work out and what about me fell short. I think you just missed the times when I was specific about this issue being a critical failure, when others in my cohort were able to do it.

It is about winning and losing, for some people, maybe that doesn't apply to you.

That's unfortunate. You'll not find accomplishment with that mindset, unless you're willing to do whatever it takes. But you are probably too soft for that and so you are only in the losing side. If you want to be a winner and approach your success that way, you'll have to trample over everyone else.

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BloodMoon7 posted...

That's unfortunate. You'll not find accomplishment with that mindset, unless you're willing to do whatever it takes. But you are probably too soft for that and so you are only in the losing side. If you want to be a winner and approach your success that way, you'll have to trample over everyone else.

<_<

Ok, I guess I can't do it then

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MedeaLysistrata posted...

<_<

Ok, I guess I can't do it then

You can, you're just not willing to commit. I have seen some of your recent posts, if I am pessimistic, you are defeatist and you give up before even trying. You say you second guess but you haven't allowed yourself even that much, I'm willing to wager. You can't do it? Sounds like whining to me. It is of no use to anyone.

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I guess since I can't justify myself by deferring to a certain well regarded status I get depressed

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FWIW you're way better off than I am in that regard.

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BloodMoon7 posted...

You can, you're just not willing to commit. I have seen some of your recent posts, if I am pessimistic, you are defeatist and you give up before even trying. You say you second guess but you haven't allowed yourself even that much, I'm willing to wager. You can't do it? Sounds like whining to me. It is of no use to anyone.

In my first post I said, I am a certain age and have nothing to show for it. Do you need a list of everything I've tried and failed at compared to a list of things I've tried and done ok at? At some point you have to acknowledge that effort is also factored into failure. Something isn't a honest attempt just because it works.

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You only live twice, baby

never say never. What do you think?

#cs

nfearurspecimn posted...

FWIW you're way better off than I am in that regard.

I don't actually compare myself to other people, I'm just saying I don't live up to my own ideal. If it seems like I am comparing myself to someone, I'm just envying the semblance of normalcy, as opposed to being an open book of echt offense

Xethuminra posted...

You only live twice, baby

never say never. What do you think?

#cs

Cognitive science?

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Spider Sense

MedeaLysistrata posted...

In my first post I said, I am a certain age and have nothing to show for it. Do you need a list of everything I've tried and failed at compared to a list of things I've tried and done ok at? At some point you have to acknowledge that effort is also factored into failure. Something isn't a honest attempt just because it works.

No you're just being a big baby tbh

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BloodMoon7 posted...

No you're just being a big baby tbh

That's the problem I don't know how to fix

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MedeaLysistrata posted...

That's the problem I don't know how to fix

At what point does the problem become the solution? Never?

Xethuminra posted...

At what point does the problem become the solution? Never?

Feel free to give examples and I will look into those concepts or forms.

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eh, second-guessing your capability could be healthy. use it to improve. it is the platform that perfectionists build themselves on.

i can kinda relate. my favorite thing to do is sing, but until i'm actually singing i think my voice is wrecked and out of shape and that i'll scoop and that i'll sound like shit. the short and simple is that if you just say fuck it and go you'll surprise yourself. if you don't fear fucking up you might not.

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MedeaLysistrata posted...

Feel free to give examples and I will look into those concepts or forms.

Second guessing is art of creating a problem for yourself to fix another problem

Xethuminra posted...

Second guessing is art of creating a problem for yourself to fix another problem

I have mastered this art Sensei.

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Xethuminra posted...

Second guessing is art of creating a problem for yourself to fix another problem

Problem: consciousness
Solution: consciousness

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BloodMoon7 posted...

I have mastered this art Sensei.

Not all who have attempted have succeeded. Fact. Its been peoples undoing. Mark my words.

There is an element of luck involved somewhere from some point of view. I could say youre lucky that there wasnt any luck involved. Then what?