Current Events > Police telling parents how to search their kids' rooms.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Orochi_ posted...

Since everyone in this topic is such an expert at raising kids, let me ask you guys:

This is not nearly enough information and CE is absolutely not the place to get this solved. Don't do this to yourself.

---

@Orochi_
Orochi_ posted...

Since everyone in this topic is such an expert at raising kids, let me ask you guys:

Where did I go wrong with my 14-year old?

I'm not an expert on raising kids, but sometimes shit just happens. You can do everything right and still get the shaft. First, about the screaming: could it be something your wife is doing when you aren't around? One possible source of genuine dislike from your children is that your wife is emotionally or verbally abusive and they blame you for not doing anything about it. Obviously with one lying to the cops already, you might not be inclined to take their word for it if you were bold enough to ask, but I'd at least try and listen in a bit on how your wife acts around them when you aren't there.

Hitting people and lying to the cops about abuse (or again, was she lying?) is bad news. See about getting your daughter some therapy. It could be a rough patch that she'll grow out of it. It could be long-term mental health issues coming to the surface. It could be bullying at school. Or again, it could be your wife.

@Gobstoppers12
The entire idea that your mother routinely searched through your stuff and you were OK with it profoundly and truly disturbs me. If she had reason to suspect something suspicious was going on, then she talked to you about it, then she looked, that's one thing. Or if there was something dangerous possibly going on and she thought you'd lie or hide the evidence (like a gun or something), that's fine too. But to just look and then have a talk together about what she saw? Yeah, no. I'm a super private person, and if I ever found anybody riffling through my things at any age, I don't think I'd ever forgive them.

I think this might turn out to be one of those things where I can't imagine someone living that way, and you can't imagine someone else feeling so strongly about it.

bro that Crash Team Racing case scale is legit. Great tip OC County.

---

darkmaian23 posted...

The entire idea that your mother routinely searched through your stuff and you were OK with it profoundly and truly disturbs me

It wasn't weird. It's not like she was some kind of regimented military mom or anything. She literally just cleaned my room sometimes and found things here and there that were hidden. I think I may have worded my post in a way that made her seem controlling or strict, but that wasn't the case at all.

---

Orochi_ posted...

Since everyone in this topic is such an expert at raising kids, let me ask you guys:

Where did I go wrong with my 14-year old?

Was this recent? If so, I would be willing to put at least part of this on COVID-19 stress, especially if she has been remote schooling.

Has she given any hints of being spoiled before? Getting everything you want and always having nice things isn't always great for a kid. If she's been losing a lot of friends of withdrawing I would think its being spoiled.

This could also be the emergence of mental health issues. Any family history?


---

ITT:

How did the parents not see the signs

And

Weve tried nothing and were all out of ideas.

Theres a massive distance between running your house like a police state, and reminding your kids that until they pay for shit themselves theyre not entitled to anything.

There absolutely should be communication, privacy and respecton both parties between parents and children.

Comments like

this is a great way to ruin a relationship with your children

seem to be treating this as a one sided topic, where children are given all the grace in the world.

What also ruins a relationships is a child torching all respect and trust given to them by the parents. You think kids arent going to do some dumb shit, and then try and lie about it?

Oh my naive CEpeople. Im sure your children will be little angels who would never do any wrong.

---

Until a kid is 18 and not living at home a parents have the right to search if they want to

---

ScazarMeltex posted...

Reminder that kids essentially have zero rights regarding their own personage or property and are in essence the property of their parents. Which is bullshit.

until a kid is 18 and living on their own its not bullshit, parents house, parents rules

---

This brings me back to all the times where my parents would go through my backpack and basically have no respect to my human right to privacy. Even remember my dad telling me "You don't have a right to privacy!"

Makes me wish I was doing drugs, at least then they'd have a reason to distrust me. Nothing pissed me off more than being accused of something I didn't do.

And sure, parent house parent rules.

But kids remember. When the parents are old and need someone to take care of them... parents who took the advice of this video will be wondering why their children never visits them in the nursing home they were put in.

JFC, I never wrote in a diary but if my parents looked into mine I'd never trust them with anything ever again. The utter lack of respect...

---

Taking advice from pigs is a really stupid idea

I think the worst thing about this is the kid has lost his place in the book he was reading.

---

Orochi_ posted...

Since everyone in this topic is such an expert at raising kids, let me ask you guys:

Where did I go wrong with my 14-year old?

Calm down, "everyone" is not pretending to be some expert.

---

As a parent, you should search your childs room if something is off about them.

now if youre doing monthly or whatever routine checks, thats odd.

---

I think anyone who'd get mad over a parent searching a teenager's room is still in the teenage mindset.

imagine snitching out your kids to the cops

---

I'd rather a child distrust me than end up dead for getting involved in things they shouldn't. But then again, I don't want groin spawn so I won't have this issue.

---

CyricZ posted...

https://twitter.com/tylerblack32/status/1454216200859181057

How did that pig manage to put on clothes? What an amazing trick!

---

---

What_ posted...

Taking advice from pigs is a really stupid idea

This is just awful
---

Really looking forward to NYC's mayor being a big weirdo like this
https://www.vice.com/en/article/y3dzmv/nyc-mayoral-candidate-eric-adams-bizarre-contraband-video-interview

---

Also, can we talk about how the child psychiatrist tweet is just dripping with know-it-all reddit energy?

He even starts by saying "child psychiatrist here."

---

Strict parents make sneaky kids.

---

Gobstoppers12 posted...

Also, can we talk about how the child psychiatrist tweet is just dripping with know-it-all reddit energy?

He even starts by saying "child psychiatrist here."

I trust him more than the cops telling people to search their kids room often
---

Gobstoppers12 posted...

Also, can we talk about how the child psychiatrist tweet is just dripping with know-it-all reddit energy?

He even starts by saying "child psychiatrist here."

We can talk about how your response to people talking about their field of expertise is to feel threatened.

---

CyricZ posted...

We can talk about how your response to people talking about their field of expertise is to feel threatened.

Listen to the Hero of Justice, CyricZ guys. He shows up whenever evil is afoot to slaughter it.

---

BloodMoon7 posted...

Listen to the Hero of Justice, CyricZ guys. He shows up whenever evil is afoot to slaughter it.

Well this is my topic I made. Figure I should participate.

---

I saw one of these but it was a lady hosting and searching. Literally fucking everything was drug paraphernalia. It was so hilariously alarmist

---

CyricZ posted...

Well this is my topic I made. Figure I should participate.

I'm sorry Sir Cyric, don't thrust your big throbbing javelin at me.

---

BloodMoon7 posted...

I'm sorry Sir Cyric, don't thrust your big throbbing javelin at me.

It's a lance and it's for my girlfriend.

---

lol

---

I used these techniques to search my daughters room and what do you know, that scamp had a thermonuclear weapon stashed away. My wife and I will need to have a grown up talk with her later.

Kids these days, am I right?

CyricZ posted...

We can talk about how your response to people talking about their field of expertise is to feel threatened.

Who feels threatened? I just disagree with him, that's all.

---

greyfox747 posted...

I used these techniques to search my daughters room and what do you know, that scamp had a thermonuclear weapon stashed away. My wife and I will need to have a grown up talk with her later.

Kids these days, am I right?

I didn't get my first thermonuclear weapon until I was 18.

---

There's a level of oversight that is responsible and necessary for a parent to conduct. But there are also healthy boundaries that should be observed barring a massive, spiralling issue.

I don't think it's appropriate for the police to instruct parents in how to police their children. If they're gonna help people, I feel like they should be preaching responsible observation and oversight, and potentially de-escalation strategies in regards to volatile teens. But what would the police know about de-escalation?

---

CanuckCowboy posted...

I saw one of these but it was a lady hosting and searching. Literally fucking everything was drug paraphernalia. It was so hilariously alarmist

You can make a pipe out of pretty much anything.

You can turn an apple into a pipe to smoke weed.
---

MrMallard posted...

But what would the police know about de-escalation?

they know it's how to not get hand-me-down military tech

---

Orochi_ posted...

I am a father of an 11 year and a 14 year old.
I have always given them what they want.
They have a beautiful house
They have computers, ps4, ps5, switches, and a my 14-year old has an iphone.
I've never inspected their room. If anything I try to stay away from it. All I do is check if the room is clean and organized.

They also have chores to do around the house: like keeping the rooms clean, taking the trash, feeding the dogs.

They are scared of me because Im always "screaming" at them. I dont scream, I raise my voice at them whenever they dont do their chores, which happens quite often because they're always so busy on the cell phone or playing video games.

Then I take away their phones or game consoles until they get it done.

I HAVE NEVER HIT MY KIDS. NOT EVEN SPANKING.

a couple of weeks ago my wife took the phone away from my 14-year old for refusing to clean the room. My 14-year old then decided to physically attack my wife. My wife tried to restrain my 14-year old by holding their hands but during the struggle they both fell to the floor. My 14-year old decided to run away from the house and later that night called the cops on us for child abuse.

We had the cops, social workers and detectives for the next couple of weeks. The allegations were unsubstantiated and the cops, including the social worker told my 14-year old what they did was wrong, specially falsely accusing us child abuse. They also told her that at 14-year old they dont legally own anything, and their cell phone was not theirs, and my 14-year also admitted we've never hit then in their life.

The cops and the social worker seem to be on our side.

My wife and I are heartbroken. We tried being good parents by providing a house, food, and love, and trust.

Since everyone in this topic is such an expert at raising kids, let me ask you guys:

Where did I go wrong with my 14-year old?

Sorry you had to go through that, parenting is one of the toughest jobs on the planet, though interestingly people without kids seem to be experts at what to do or not do, you asked your question in the right place.


---

honestly this is almost sketch comedy territory

how the fuck are there cops out there that don't realize why people don't like them

---

a-c-a-b posted...

You can make a pipe out of pretty much anything.

You can turn an apple into a pipe to smoke weed.

oh I know but it was still ridiculous. There was a old McDonalds cup with a straw and she was like straws = cocaine. Like if theres a kid who constantly does half as much drugs as they passed it off as where the fuck are they getting there money from

---

Gobstoppers12 posted...

Kids and teenagers are immature and will often self-destruct without parental guidance. Getting caught with drugs, or being stopped from meeting up with a stranger one met online, as examples, are good things.

Obviously there's a balance, but parents exist for a reason.

A parent should be able to tell this without searching their room

Kloe_Rinz posted...

A parent should be able to tell this without searching their room

I'm gonna assume you're parent of the year, then?

---

Delirious_Beard posted...

honestly this is almost sketch comedy territory

how the fuck are there cops out there that don't realize why people don't like them

Oh, they realize it. They just don't care. Doesn't anybody realize why this pig is posting this? It's a mandate from law enforcement and the for-profit prison industry. They want parents to narc on their kids and get them in trouble with the law. To add to copig quotas and fuel the prison industrial complex. This is all about money and pig prestige. Once parents report their kids to discipline them, it will quickly get taken out of their hands once the police take over and arrest them. That is the point.

---

Gobstoppers12 posted...

I'm gonna assume you're parent of the year, then?

One thing's for sure. You certainly aren't.

---

TheChariot posted...

One thing's for sure. You certainly aren't.

It's true. I don't even plan on having kids.

---

Gobstoppers12 posted...

Who feels threatened? I just disagree with him, that's all.

You can disagree. Though, people can probably trust him, since he is an expert in his field... It's be weird not to trust him for no real reason at all...

MrMallard posted...

But what would the police know about de-escalation?

Many don't. But not all of them are like that. My mom is a cop, and has actually helped de-escalate problems quote frequently. The problem is the media only usually talks about the bad stuff... But there is some good. And some people know it. My mom had a made a facebook post some time ago about this little girl she met who gave her water. She had brought some water for all the cops on a hot day who she had seen... It was as a thank you for helping and keeping the area she lived in safer...

Plus, a little after that, my mom went to a class to become a Crisis Intervention Officer... I think that's what it's called...

a-c-a-b posted...

You can make a pipe out of pretty much anything.

You can turn an apple into a pipe to smoke weed.

This is true, and why searching wouldn't work too well...
---

LinkPizza posted...

It's be weird not to trust him for no real reason at all...

He's giving his professional opinion, but it's still an opinion. Psychology is an imperfect science--he might have more experience, but he's not exactly the final authority on the issue.

---

Gobstoppers12 posted...

He's giving his professional opinion, but it's still an opinion. Psychology is an imperfect science--he might have more experience, but he's not exactly the final authority on the issue.

But the pig is?

---